Jenna Petersen - [Lady Spies] (7 page)

As soon as Sansbury closed the door behind them, she pulled her hand away from Lucas. To her surprise, he caught it and pulled it back into his arm.

“Our cover,” he hissed, tone terse even as he managed to keep his expression open and bland.

She blinked back unexpected tears as they moved down the hallway back to the ballroom. The ramifications of what they’d done were beginning to hit her now. Dear God, if Sansbury spoke, even just to one other person, the news could spread like wildfire. She had betrayed Gilbert’s memory and soon everyone would know it.

“I cannot believe this is happening,” she whispered, more to herself than to Lucas.

He rewarded her statement with a sharp glare, but that was the only indication that he felt any emotion whatsoever about their kiss. “It was do that or be caught in a situation that would have been difficult to explain. I made a choice.”

She dared a glance at him from the corner of her eye. His lips were thin with grim determination. He really didn’t care. He really hadn’t felt anything. For him the kiss had been an act, nothing more. Her heart sank. She had been the only one to lose herself in desire and emotion. God, she was an idiot of the highest order to think it might have meant something.

No! She shook off her deepening despair. What did she care that he wasn’t moved? The last thing she wanted was for him to be moved! The kiss was a mistake. If Lucas felt nothing when he touched her, all the better. That would only ensure it would never be repeated and she could bury her reaction away where she wouldn’t have to face it ever again.

The buzz of the ballroom drifted into the hallway, and Lucas suddenly released her. He glanced around before he said, “You go back inside first. We might as well not draw even more attention to ourselves than we already have.”

She nodded, avoiding his eyes as she started back into the ballroom. He caught her arm and she looked up. To her surprise, he wasn’t smiling. Even the normally cocky light had faded from his stare. And that scared her.

“No matter what happens, Ana, you mustn’t behave as if anything out of the ordinary occurred tonight. If we’re lucky, Sansbury will exercise discretion.”

It had been a long time since she was in Society. She didn’t know Sansbury’s disposition well enough to know if he was the kind to spread tales.

Blood rushed to her cheeks as reality hit home yet again. “What do you think the chances of that are?”

Lucas hesitated just long enough to answer her question without ever saying a word, then shrugged. “Whatever happens, do not react. I’ll come to you later and we can discuss it.”

Numbness took over, spreading throughout Ana’s body. She didn’t even fight the tide. It was too overpowering and at least it helped her ignore her urge to run away.

“Very well,” she whispered as she slipped back into the ballroom. As she walked, she lifted a hand to her mouth. She still tasted Lucas on her lips. And it was good. Drugging.

And despite everything, she wished she could kiss him again.

A
na’s head spun as she slipped into the house. She gave a brief nod to Benson as he took her wrap and made polite, empty inquiries about her evening, but she was only going through the motions. While she smiled and talked, her mind was spinning.

That kiss. That stupid, dratted, unexpected kiss still burned her lips when she allowed herself to think about it longer than a brief moment. And she had been forced to think about it. Because Lucas was correct in assuming Sansbury would be free with his telling of the tale.

The news had started as a whisper, and by the end of the evening, her passionate kiss with Lucas had been the topic of conversation throughout the ballroom.

At least it had been passionate on her part.

“Are you well, my lady?”

She started. “Yes, of course, Benson. Just—well, I am not used to these events and I think I’ve tired myself.”

He nodded and his stern countenance seemed almost sympathetic before he snapped back into propriety. “Should I call for a bath to be drawn?”

She hesitated. That did sound heavenly, but it was so late. And with her nerves frayed and skin still jumping from Lucas’s touch, she wasn’t sure it was the best idea. The last thing she wanted was sinful fantasies of him in the vulnerability of the bath. “No, I think not tonight, but thank you.”

“As you wish, good evening.”

She waved her good night as she trudged up the staircase toward her chambers and what she knew would be a long and sleepless night tormented by memories of Lucas’s mouth swooping down on hers, demanding and claiming desires she had no right to feel. And Society had eaten it up! The idea of a romance between the “sad widow” and her “dashing rogue” enthralled the masses. By tomorrow, the news would have spread to every corner of the
ton
.

Her temples began to throb at the thought, and she lifted her fingers to press against them. Oh, it was too much to fathom. Their case had been threatened and so was her very sanity by the strange feelings that now bubbled inside her.

She stumbled up the hall until she reached Emily’s
door. Her friend was probably asleep, but Ana turned the knob regardless. She had developed the habit of checking on her each night before she went to her own bed. Nearly losing her made Ana wary of Emily’s condition.

She stepped inside and was surprised to find Emily’s candle lit. Her friend was propped up just slightly, her tangled blonde hair spread across the pillows, and she held a book in her hand, though she didn’t seem to be focusing on its pages. At the click of the door, Emily glanced up.

“Hello!” Her face registered relief as she set her book aside.

“My goodness, I didn’t know you’d be awake,” Ana said as she stepped inside. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your reading.”

Emily waved at the novel with a wince of pain that shot through Ana like the bullet that had felled her friend. Emily was so strong. To see her like this was heartbreaking, despite how much she had improved in a short period of time.

“Oh, it was a ridiculous story anyway. Something my lady’s maid gave me to pass the time. You know Bonnie, she’s a romantic, so of course it’s a lot of rot about love and forever. I would much rather talk to you.”

Now it was Ana’s turn to wince. Love and forever. She’d had it once and thought it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience for her. Tonight had turned those beliefs on their head and everything was suddenly confused.

“What brings you home so early?”

Emily’s question brought her out of her reverie and she tilted her head in surprise. “Early? Emily, it is after three.”

Her friend’s frustration was plain as she clenched her coverlet in her fingers. “Oh. I have no sense of time anymore. Every moment is the same for me. I hate being confined to this blasted bed. I hate not being useful!”

Ana smiled her sympathy. For the first time since she met Meredith and Emily, she was beginning to understand their desire to be active. To be in the field. She had once feared investigations, but now she could see why her friends craved the thrill. Why they thrived on the adventure and danger that waited around every corner.

“Perhaps I could be of some help!” Emily’s face lit up. “I could assist you.”

Ana started at the thought. Emily wasn’t well enough to be out of her bed, let alone work. Aside from which, she wasn’t certain she wanted anyone else involved in the case, lest her friends see how deeply involved she now was with her reluctant partner.

“How?” she asked.

Emily’s eyes sparkled with the possibility of being occupied again. “I could do research like you used to do for Meredith and me. Or we could talk through the case together.”

Anastasia stiffened as a sudden, unpleasant thought
occurred to her. “Do you not trust me to work on my own?”

Emily cocked her head. “Of course I do. Why in the world would you say such a thing?”

She turned away from her friend’s intense stare. “I have little experience in the field. Perhaps you don’t think I’m handling myself well.”

That was certainly her own fear. Especially after tonight.

“I have no idea how you are or are not handling yourself,” Emily said with a shrug that was immediately accompanied by a sharp intake of breath that indicated pain. Ana stepped toward her, but her friend warded her off with a raised hand. “No.”

A moment passed as Emily rested back on her pillows, her breath shallow as she struggled for control over the ache. Tears rushed to Ana’s eyes as she watched helplessly. Finally, the gray pallor of pain faded from Emily’s face, and color returned to her cheeks.

“I’m fine. It’s passed.”

“Perhaps you should take some of your—” Ana began, moving toward the bedside table.

“No.” Emily’s sharp tone stopped her. “No. If I take that poison, I won’t be able to think. Please, Ana.”

Her eyes went wide. She’d never heard such a mournful tone from her best friend. Emily’s eyes were wide, unshed tears glistening in them.

“Please. I’m asking you to involve me in this case for
my
sake. Not because I doubt your abilities. Not
because I doubt your strength. Please. Let me help in some way.”

Any argument Ana would have made faded as she came to the bed. She sat down in the chair beside Emily and reached for her friend’s hand. For a moment, they only sat together in silence before Ana said, “Of course. Of course I desire your help and your counsel will be very useful, I’m sure.”

As long as Emily didn’t figure out
too
much, that was. But Ana could control what she said and didn’t say to her friend.

“So what can you tell me?” Emily asked.

“There isn’t much to tell. Lucas and I have investigated several options when it comes to who could be attacking the spies. We’ve mostly reviewed the evidence and tonight we were at Sansbury’s ball. Apparently he is a suspect in the attacks.”

Emily wrinkled her brow. “Sansbury? He might be a bit of a lecher, but I don’t see him as a traitor. His loose tongue alone would do him in.”

Ana nodded. The man certainly did have that, as she had learned from bitter experience.

“That was my thought, as well. But Lucas had the information from his friend within the War Department, Henry Bowerly.”

“The Marquis of Cliffield?” Emily peered up at the ceiling.

“Yes. Did you ever meet him? They’re old friends.”

Ana thought of her first impression of Cliffield in his
wheelchair. And the way he had refused to consider her thought that the attacks were linked somehow.

“No. But Tyler and I didn’t meet more than a few times before I was hurt.” Emily sighed. “Cliffield was injured, was he not?”

“Yes. In one of the first attacks on the spies.” Ana sighed. “He is in a wheelchair. It bothers Lucas.”

Emily’s eyes narrowed. “I thought I heard you say that a moment ago, but now I’m certain. Did you just call Mr. Tyler
Lucas
?”

Ana stopped herself from babbling. Had she called him by his given name? Dear Lord, she had.

“I—”

Emily pursed her lips. “It took you two years to stop referring to Charlie as Mr. Isley! And I thought you didn’t want to work with Tyler, so why do you care if the injury to his friend causes him pain?”

Ana sucked in her breath. Why had she said that? It didn’t matter in the scope of the case. Not only did it reveal too much about how close she’d grown to Lucas, but it betrayed him, as well. She shouldn’t have shared her thoughts on the subject.

“I—I don’t care, of course,” she lied. “It was merely an observation.”

Emily looked less than convinced, but she shook her head. “So what does Cliffield believe, if he is involved in this case?”

Ana shrugged, trying to cover her earlier slip by being detached now. Unlike Emily or Meredith or Lucas,
she wasn’t practiced enough at covering her emotions to believe she was successful.

“It was strange. Lucas and I were discussing the possibility of common elements in the incidents. Of finding links and letting those links lead us back to the source of the assaults.”

Emily nodded. “A very good idea.”

“But Henry dismissed that. He said he had already investigated that possibility and it was a dead lead.” She thought of Lucas’s reaction. “Lucas was surprised. He wasn’t aware Henry was doing any private investigation. It seemed odd to me that Henry wouldn’t share such vital information with the spy actually assigned to the case, even if this case is personal to him because of his injuries.”

Emily nodded. “That is strange. Those War Department spies are so stuck on protocol. Not Tyler, necessarily.” Emily rolled her eyes. “He flouts the rules. But generally those who work in the home office have the ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ pounded into them daily. For Cliffield to neglect to mention such an important fact isn’t ordinary. Do you intend to pursue that?”

Ana started. She hadn’t even considered investigating Henry further, despite her surprise over his reaction. He was a member of the War Department. He was Lucas’s friend.

“I—But how would I do such a thing?”

Emily smiled. “You know how, Ana. You’ve been doing it for years. Have Meredith do some background
checking on the man. Now that she is in Town, I’m sure she’d be happy to help. And ask Lucas. Subtly, of course. Talk to Henry. Press the issue.”

“Do you really suspect he’s involved in wrongdoing?” Ana asked, thinking of the empty sadness in Lucas’s eyes when he looked at his fallen friend.

Emily began to shrug, but stopped herself with a grimace. “I doubt it. It’s probably just as he says. A dead lead he followed for his own purposes. Nothing more than a break in protocol between friends. But still…if it’s out of the ordinary, it warrants some research.”

“I suppose.” Ana got to her feet and moved to the window across the room. From her position on the bed, she doubted Emily could see her face. That made Ana feel a little safer from her seeing stare and knowing questions. “Lucas would be angry if he knew I was questioning his friend’s motives. He would be…hurt, I think.”

“Again, I must ask, do you care?” Emily asked and Ana heard the incredulous tone of her voice.

She pondered that. Yes. Sadly, she did care. She’d seen a torn and tattered part of Lucas’s soul the first afternoon she met Henry. He hadn’t meant to share it, perhaps, but his intentions didn’t change the outcome. And the worst of it was that she understood his pain. She had felt it herself. She did not wish to cause him more of that pain if he found out she was pursuing an inquiry into Henry’s motives.

And she shuddered to think of what he would feel
if, by some strange chance, Henry really was involved in some kind of wrongdoing.

“Ana?” Emily craned her neck, trying to see her. “Has something else happened?” She hesitated just long enough that Emily’s tone changed. “It has! What has happened?”

She considered the question. Soon enough, Emily would hear about the kiss, either from a gossip sheet or from Meredith, but she just wasn’t ready to face her friend’s comments…her potential censure, yet.

“I—” she began, avoiding Emily’s searching eyes.

“Anastasia!”

Moving back to the bed, Ana forced a bland smile. “It’s very late and if I’m to get Meredith on the case, I’ll need to send a message to her early tomorrow. I had best be on my way to bed and you need your rest, as well.”

Emily glared at her, unable to get up to pursue her questions. They both knew it. “Fine. But don’t think I’ll forget that this conversation was left unfinished. At some point, I won’t be confined to this bed and then you won’t be able to avoid me.”

With a laugh, Ana came to her friend to press a kiss against her forehead. “I never wanted to. Good night.”

With Emily’s muttered curses echoing in her ears, Ana walked into the hallway and shut the chamber door behind her. But her bravado and good nature faded the moment she was alone. Emily was right. The questions she had asked, the points she had made, they were all good ones.

Ones Ana would have to answer. Especially if she intended to go behind Lucas’s back and do a little investigating of her own.

Lucas strummed his fingers along the top of his desk, pouring all his nervous energy into the rapid tap-tapping. It didn’t help. He still felt uneasy, restless.

And he still saw Anastasia Whittig’s face instead of the notes he was supposed to be encoding.

“Damn it!” he growled, tossing his pen aside. It splashed a jagged line of ink along the parchment, but he didn’t care. Since last night, he hadn’t cared about much but remembering the kiss he’d sworn was just a cover for Sansbury’s benefit.

It wasn’t. That was becoming clearer every time he remembered the way Ana’s eyes had fluttered shut just before his mouth met hers. The way her body trembled and then her mouth moved with such sweet passion. He had felt her melt. That was real, pure, not some act for Sansbury.

And if he really looked hard at his own reaction, it hadn’t been part of an act for him, either. He burned from her touch. And if there hadn’t been the matter of their case and the interruption between them, he would have taken that simple kiss much further.

That was a very dangerous and equally foolish desire when it was clear she wanted nothing more than to be a pious widow for the rest of her days.