Jennifer Government: A Novel (33 page)

John felt amused. There was no way Fashion.com or whatever pissant company this girl ran out of her bedroom was going to be accepted into US Alliance. “You’d have to make a pretty good case.”

Her smile stretched. It was almost painful to watch. “I might be able to do that.” Awkwardly, she pressed her body against his arm; he felt a small breast on his shoulder.

“Sir? Excuse me?” the barman said. “Phone call for you.”

John blinked. “Why are my calls coming down here?”

“Reception noticed you were visiting the bar, sir.”

“Oh.” The Sofitel was big on customer service; sometimes it could get a little creepy. “Who is it?”

“Violet ExxonMobil.”

“I’ll take it in my room.” He stood.

Vanessa said, “Are you coming back? After your call?”

He looked at her. “Sorry. I’m busy.”

“But—”

“Sorry,” he said, and walked away. He felt cheated. Jennifer was ruining his accomplishments, souring his victories. What was the point of success, if he didn’t have the time to screw a girl like that? He stared at himself in the elevator mirror. “What am I becoming?” he said, and his reflection looked back at him.

“V
iolet.”

“John.”

“Let’s get something clear.” He pulled the phone to the window, so he could see the illuminated Hollywood sign. Columbia had bought it a few years ago and now there was a gigantic Pegasus above it; it was a big improvement, in John’s opinion. “If you’re hoping to blackmail me over one dead ExxonMobil CEO, save your breath.”

“That’s not why I’m calling.”

“Then maybe you want to apologize for sticking a gun in my face and putting my friend into a coma. Is that it, Violet?”

“I knew I was right to call you.” She sounded excited, so either had a screw loose or was one of those people who didn’t know when to quit; either way, John was interested. He had uses for people like that. “We have a common enemy. Holly T.A. We can help each other.”

“Last I saw you, you were sitting next to Holly T.A.”

“She—she—” Her voice tightened. “She owes me a lot of money. She owes me a
lot
.”

Uh-huh, he thought. He was tempted to ask Violet if she was nuts, but that was a dangerous question, and besides, he thought he already knew the answer. “You want me to collect your debts?”

“I can give you information on Holly, I can tell you—”

“Screw that. I don’t need help with Holly, I need help with Jennifer Government.” His life was filled with domineering women, he realized: if it wasn’t Jennifer, it was Holly.

“Who?”

“Don’t bullshit me, Violet, it would be very bad for our relationship. If your little friend Hack hasn’t spoken to Jennifer, I’m Ralph Nader. Ask him about her. Then get her daughter.”

Pause. “You want me to kidnap someone?”

“You got it first time. You get me that kid and we’re in business.”

“I didn’t…that’s not…I thought I could just give you information—”

“How much does Holly owe you?”

“Three million. She owes me three million dollars.”

“Well, that’s a lot of money,” John said. He made himself hesitate, as if he was really thinking about it. “Okay. Get me the kid, I’ll get your money.”

“And—and when you get it, you’ll tell Holly it’s from me? Can you do that?”

“Sure,” John said. “I’ll really rub it in.”

“Okay,” Violet said, excited again. “Okay, I could probably do that. I don’t have to hurt the girl or anything, right?”

“Uh, right,” John said. Yep: deluded. “Of course not.” He checked his watch. “One more thing. Don’t even think about betraying me.” He didn’t know why he bothered; they were probably each intending to betray the other and it was just a question of who would get in first. “You’ve got my number.” He hung up.

No doubt, Violet was flaky, very flaky. But sometimes that was the kind of person who got results. Even an unsuccessful attempt to grab Jennifer’s kid would send a message, and maybe
that would be enough. If he bought enough time, it wouldn’t matter how dogged Jennifer was. Li and the NRA would put her out of a job.

Two days and no reply from John Nike. Buy called the P.A. again. “Oh!” she said. “The flowers are lovely, thank you so much! Has John been in touch?”

“No, he hasn’t.”

“Oh, damn. Look, um, I shouldn’t do this…but do you want his cellphone number?”

“That would be great,” Buy said, and wrote it down. “Thank you again.”

He dialed John’s number. While he waited, he surfed the internet for Virtual Animalz. He didn’t know what these were, exactly, except that Kate was in love with them. She wanted downloads.

“Hello?”

“John Nike? This is Buy Mitsui, Assistant Liaison. I don’t know if you got my message, but—”

“How the fuck did you get this number?”

“Your P.A. gave it to me.”

“That bitch!” John said.

“Anyway,” Buy said. He had the feeling he wasn’t going to like John Nike. “I’m calling because Kato Mitsui, Liaison, has asked me to make myself of use to you.”

Pause. “You want what?”

“No, no,” Buy said. “I’m here to help you.”

“Help how?”

“I don’t know. Whatever you want done.”

“Oh,” John said. “Well, um…where are you, anyway?”

“Melbourne, the Australian Territories.”

There was a pause. “Okay, sure. Sure. Get in touch with the local McDonald’s office, find out who’s been throwing toxic sludge around their stores.”

“You want me to help McDonald’s?” This was getting complicated.

“We’re all one big happy family in US Alliance, haven’t you heard?”

“Of course,” Buy said.

“But no, I don’t want you to help McDonald’s. I want you to tell me if they’re playing straight. Find out who’s behind the attack: I want names, their plans, everything. I wouldn’t put it past those McAssholes to stage the whole thing.”

“Okay.” He thought:
Paranoid, too
.

“And never call me at this time again. It’s five in the fucking morning.”

“Oh, I’m sorry—” Buy started, but John had already killed the call.

B
uy set up a three-o’clock to see Lucia McDonald’s, Marketing Director, which would let him pick up Kate from school afterward. McDonald’s main offices were in Sydney, but Lucia was in Melbourne for crisis management. She wanted to meet him at the store that had been attacked, so Buy wandered up Swanston Street and rode the escalator. The McDonald’s store was no longer under plastic: to his amazement, there were people eating in it. He entered, looking for Lucia.

“Buy Mitsui?”

He turned. A woman he’d mistaken for a customer was smiling at him, covering a cellphone with one hand. In front of her was a half-eaten cheeseburger and fries. “I’m Lucia. Have a seat. I’ll be one moment.”

Buy sat and eyed Lucia’s cheeseburger. He hoped she wasn’t going to ask him to eat. He’d seen the news: they were
hosing green stuff off the hot plates. Buy would sooner eat his briefcase.

“All the food is cooked off-site,” Lucia said, catching him. She folded up her cellphone. “We’re positive there was no contamination, but it’s a good way to reassure our customers. We’re running hot delivery vans up and down Swanston Street.”

“No contamination?”

“It was a mixture of flour and food dye. Just a prank.” “Oh, I didn’t realize,” Buy said. He still didn’t want a cheeseburger.

“You and the whole general public. We’ve got a hell of a PR job. I’ve got half my staff down here to gorge themselves on Happy Meals.”

Buy looked around. Now that Lucia mentioned it, there was a certain uniformity about all the customers. Most had cellphones pressed to their ears. A few had notebook computers. “Do you know who attacked the store?”

“As of this morning, yes. Security cameras saw them come out of the store and exit onto the street. We got cooperation from a couple of stores along Bourke Street, ran their security tapes, and saw which parking lot they went into. One of them paid with a Visa card. Since Visa’s in US Alliance, voilà, one billing address for a Mr. Hack Nike.”

Buy blinked. He wondered if it was a coincidence that the attacker worked for Nike, like John. There was probably more going on here than Buy was aware of. “Have you reported this to the Government?”

Lucia smiled. “We don’t work that way, Buy. Too public. We’ll talk to this Hack Nike instead.”

“By ‘talk’ you mean—”

She leaned forward. “I mean we’ll mount a very persuasive case as to why he should never try anything like that again.”

“I…see,” Buy said. “I’d like to talk to him first, if you don’t mind. John Nike wants to know what these people are about.”

“Yes,
John,”
Lucia said. Her eyes shone. “I must say, it’s very flattering that he’s taken a personal interest. How do you know him?”

“It’s complicated.”

“I hope you’ll tell him how grateful I am for his assistance. If he’s ever in town, I’d love to take him to dinner.”

“I will tell him,” Buy promised. “So can I—”

“Let me write down the details for you.”

O
n the Bechtel Eastern Freeway, en route to Kate’s school, Buy dialed the number Lucia had given him.

A young woman answered. “Hello?”

“Hello,” Buy said. “Can I speak to Hack Nike, please?”

“He’s not here,” she said, a little aggressively, Buy thought. “He doesn’t live here anymore. Okay?”

“Oh. Do you know where—”

“Try Claire Sears, Sales Assistant. Why don’t you look her up? I’m sure you’ll find Hack
there.”

“Uh,” Buy said. “Thank you.” He hung up. That was strange.

He called directory information and got a number for Claire Sears. Claire had an answering machine. Buy told it, “Hi, my name is Buy Mitsui…I’ve heard about your group, about what you do, and…I’d like to be part of it. Please call me back as soon as you can.”

He ended the call. He felt kind of bad, laying a trap like that. Before he’d left McDonald’s, Lucia had showed him the tape of the attack, and Buy was surprised by how amateurish it all was. On the news, it had sounded like a strategic chemical weapons attack. “They’re kids,” he’d said to Lucia. “Just kids.”

“They cost us twenty million in brand damage,” Lucia had said. “Don’t feel too sorry for them.”