Jessica and Jewel (6 page)

Oh dear, I felt like I was right to say that at the time, but writing it down has made me feel
really
guilty. Poor Tegan, I didn't mean to get that cross. I'll go and find her right now and give her a big hug and say sorry.

I've gone to bed early to catch up with my diary (there's so much to say!). Tegan's so worn out she's already asleep, even though the light's still on. Lola and Alisha have gone to bed as well, but the others are watching something on
Horse and Country TV
in the living room.

Well, I suppose I should say what happened after I went to find Tegan, although I feel a bit ashamed about writing it down in here.

First I looked in her tent, and the other younger ones were there, but she wasn't. Lola said they hadn't seen her for a while, but I didn't worry – I thought she must be by the Land Rover with the older girls, sorting things out with Jody for our supper, or maybe
collecting wood for the fire with Johnny and James. But I checked the Land Rover and she wasn't there, and when Johnny and James came back out of the bushes with armfuls of brushwood she wasn't with them. I could only think that she must have slipped back up to the pony field to visit Twinkle, so I walked over to have a look. “Come on, T!” I called. “We're going to make the fire now.”

But she wasn't there either.

My heart started pounding then and I felt a bit sick. Where on earth was she?

Then I noticed that Twinkle was gone, too.

I raced back to the Land Rover, feeling like I could hardly breathe. “Tegan's gone!” I said, but no one heard above the chatter and laughing. “Tegan's gone!” I shouted. They all stopped talking then. I started sobbing hysterically and Sally hugged me and told me to take deep breaths and tell her what had happened.

“Tegan's missing, and so's Twinkle,” I finally managed to stutter. Sally and Jody gave each other a worried look. “I upset her, and—” I began, but then I broke into sobs again.

“OK, don't panic,” said Johnny firmly. “I can take the Land Rover back down the lane to look for her and—”

“But we'd have seen her go by that way,” said Sally. “She must have taken the bridle path next to the field. And if she's on horseback, the best way to find her will be on horseback too.”

“You're right,” said Johnny. “I'll go.”

But Sally insisted that she would. “And I'll ring as soon as I find her,” she added.

The way she said that, as if she would
definitely
find her, made me feel a bit better.
Thank goodness an adult was in control. But I knew I had to go with her, I just
had
to. I was about to try explaining that when she saw the look on my face and instantly understood. “Come on, Jess,” she said, as she set off for the pony field. Bailey, Claudia, Dannii and Johnny came too, to help catch and tack up Jewel and Blue. “There's one saddle without a bridle here,” said Sally, frowning. “Tegan must have gone bareback.”

I started crying again then. It would be even harder for her to balance without a saddle and stirrups. What if Twinkle got spooked by something and bolted? What if Tegan got thrown off? I hadn't even checked whether she'd taken her hat or not. She could already be lying in a ditch somewhere, maybe unconscious. I burst into hysterical sobs, wailing, “This is my fault! It's all my fault!”

Sally got quite strict with me then. She took me by the shoulders and held me tight. “Jess, if you want to come, you have to calm down,” she said firmly. “Getting hysterical won't help Tegan. You need to be positive and focus on finding her. You can make it up to her then, OK?”

I nodded and sniffled, and even though my legs were still shaking I managed to mount up. Jewel definitely knew something was wrong. She sprang from hoof to hoof, alert and ready, as if she couldn't wait to get going. Sally and I set off in trot and headed down the bridle path. New worries filled my head as we rode on, things like what if it got dark and we still hadn't found her? What would we do then? I pushed them away and tried to think positive, as Sally had told me to, but it was difficult. I tried to look for clues, but I couldn't see any – there were lots of different hoof prints in the mud but it was impossible to tell which were
Twinkle's. Also, it was starting to rain again, and the sky had grown dark with storm clouds.

After what felt like ages we reached a crossroads with a narrower path. Sally was sure that Tegan would have carried on on the main bridle path. I thought so too, but Jewel was pulling left, wanting to go down the narrower path. I tried to steer her back, but she refused to budge. That surprised me – she didn't usually ignore my aids. “Come on, let's get moving,” said Sally.

“I think we should go this way,” I told her. “Jewel obviously wants to. I really think she's trying to tell me something.”

Sally was about to insist, but something in my face must have changed her mind. “OK, we'll go with Jewel,” she said.

I leaned down and patted my pony. “Good girl,” I told her, “please lead us to Tegan. Please.” I didn't quite believe she'd be able to, but we had to try.

Every time we got round a bend I kept thinking we'd see Tegan up ahead, but there was nothing, just more thick hedging and slushy mud. If we'd met anyone along the way we could have asked if they'd seen a young girl riding bareback on her own, but no one came past.

After a while my confidence in Jewel started to ebb away. Sally's must have done, too, because she said, “Perhaps we ought to go back to the main path. If we're on the wrong track, Tegan could be really far ahead
by now.” The worry in her voice sent a shudder of fear through me – she didn't sound quite so in control any more.

We came to another split in the path and Sally said we definitely needed to turn back then, but my mind was made up. I knew I had to follow Jewel's lead. “Please, could I just have a minute,” I begged. I tried to calm down, sit still, relax my hands and
listen
. Jewel whinnied and shifted her weight beneath me. Then I squeezed her on gently, leaving my hands loose and open, letting
her
choose which path to take. She took the left and we set off again.

Sally followed after me, but she was already pulling out her mobile. “We need help,” she said, coming to a halt. “I'll ring Jody and get her to send Johnny and James out along the main bridleway. I'll ask her to call the police, too. And of course your parents will have to be told.”

I felt sick thinking of how worried Mum and Dad would be, and how it was all my fault. I slumped over in the saddle, tears running down my face. It started raining harder then, pouring down. All of my positive thoughts completely vanished and I felt like there was no hope. “You tried your best,” I told Jewel, “but I shouldn't have expected you to know which way Tegan went.” But even though my reins were slack, Jewel continued along the path she'd chosen.

That's when we heard a dog barking up ahead.

I sat up, listening hard. Sally did too. Without a word, we gathered up our reins and trotted on. When we got over the hill we saw a farmhouse.

“I think it's coming from over there,” said Sally. “Dogs usually start up when a stranger comes near their property. It could be nothing, of course, but it might be that Tegan's over that way. Come on!”

My heart was pounding and in my mind I chanted, “Please let it be Tegan,” over and over again. Sally had been right when she'd said how lucky I was to have a little sister who liked me and looked up to me. I really was. And all I'd done was push her away. I promised myself that from now on I'd be more patient with her, and include her, and play Operation for hours if she wanted. Anything. Just as long as we found her.