Jessica's Breakdown [Journey of a Thousand Miles 4] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (6 page)

“Too bad, maybe next time.” She stood, pulling on the leash. “Enjoy your dinner. We’re going to head over to the club for a couple hours.”

“Have fun.” Jessica watched them leave and picked up her menu. Her stomach growled loudly and she searched through the various dishes trying to find something she wanted. When she finally found what she wanted, she placed the menu down and waited for the server.

“Ma’am, may I take your order?” A young man asked. He kept his eyes on the floor, and she knew right away he was submissive.

“Yes, thank you. May I please get an iced tea with lemon, an avocado burger, cooked medium-well, and steak fries with ranch dressing?” She picked up her menu and held it out to him. He took it right away and tucked it under his right arm.

Taking a few notes, he said, “Yes, ma’am. I’ll put your order in right away.” He nodded his head and walked off.

Looking around once more, Jessica took in the scenery. The restaurant was dimly lit, large candles in sconces spread around the room making it look almost medieval. The walls were dark gray bricks, the floor a smooth stone, and there were decorative black iron gates on the walls.

The server walked toward her, went to his knees and placed her iced tea in front of her. One thing about this place, everyone did things by the owner’s wishes. The employees were all in the lifestyle and served the drinks and food on their knees.

“Thank you,” she said, and the server stood up and walked off. She usually liked eating alone, but for some reason, she was feeling a little lonely.

She took a drink of her tea, needing the cold beverage to help her from feeling so dehydrated. Leaning back in her chair, she tried to appear more relaxed than she actually felt at that moment. It had been a really long day and she yawned.

After about fifteen minutes, the server arrived, on his knees once more to deliver her food. Her stomach growled loudly, and she stared at her burger, her mouth watering. Wrapping two hands around her burger, she brought it up to her lips and took a big bite. She chewed slowly, enjoying the delicious flavors before putting it down and taking a drink of her tea.

Sitting alone didn’t bother her, but Jessica quickly ate, wanting to get to her room so that she could enjoy a nice hot bath before turning in early. She hid a yawn as she finished her dinner, staring at the table. Her eyes were dry and she rubbed them quickly, yawning once more. Traveling always seemed to have that effect on her.

A stern voice caught her attention and Jessica looked up, watching a couple across the dining room. The man pulled his sub up to her feet and rubbed her knees. He kissed her gently and Jessica wondered what that must feel like. She was caught off guard when she realized that she didn’t want to be in the man’s place. She wanted to be the woman that was getting the affection. She could hear him whispering but couldn’t make out his words. A server brought over a soft-looking cushion and put it on the floor by the man’s feet. Once again the woman knelt and nuzzled his thigh. He patted her head and gave her a bite from his fork.

The scene was sweet and Jessica’s shoulders sagged. It was such a strange feeling for her to want that, to be a little envious. There were so many single men looking for a dominant woman and she had always loved playing games, making big productions out of her scenes. Ever since meeting Beau and Chase, things had slowly started to change, and she wondered if there might be something wrong. She just didn’t understand this need inside her, this desire to have them dominate her.

Pushing her plate away from her, Jessica watched the couple for a few minutes before writing her room number down on the small piece of paper at her table. She could take care of the bill later. She really didn’t want to sit in the dining room any longer. Standing up, she walked toward the exit, wanting to get back to her room.

Pushing the elevator call button, she waited until the doors opened. She pushed the number three and leaned back against the railing. When she finally got back into her room, she went straight to the bathroom and started the bath water before stripping off her clothes. Pacing around her room, she looked out the window, waiting for the bath to fill up. She looked out at the property, and watched as the sun set, casting bright, beautiful colors across the landscape.

Turning, Jessica went back into the bathroom. She shut the water off and stepped in, moaning as the warmth surrounded her. Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes and tried to relax. Chase and Beau were at the forefront of her mind and she tried to push them back, not wanting to think about them. She didn’t feel like analyzing her feelings. There was nothing she could do anyway. She was in Dallas and they were both home in Coltmann County.

Staring at the wall, she couldn’t help but remember their one night together. “No, no, no. I will not think about them,” she said aloud, hoping to banish them for good, but her mind wouldn’t let go, and she felt restless and irritated.

“Tomorrow is my class. Need to prepare and think about that.” She started to think about the other seminars she had spoken at. The different titles and subject matters had varied greatly, and she smiled thinking about a few of her favorites. Everything Anal, Spank Me, It Hurts so Good, How to Deal with Emotions and BDSM. The people were always so welcoming, and she loved being on stage sharing her knowledge and helping other folks in the lifestyle learn more.

She had been so busy working at the store with her friends that she hadn’t taken the time to create a class outline. The owners of Iron Gate, Mark and Sean, were great Doms, and she hoped that they wouldn’t mind her just winging it and including different bits and pieces from her previous talks. The class was for newbies, so she wanted to touch on some basic stuff and then maybe shift gears and talk about different implements to use during a scene, maybe even some sensation play with a volunteer.

Sitting up, Jessica stretched out and reached for her razor, she knew that if she didn’t shave she would be stuck wearing pants. Looking down at her legs, she cringed. Yuck, no man wanted a hairy woman. She grabbed the bottle of conditioner and squeezed a quarter-sized amount into her palm before rubbing it up and down one leg, soaping it up. She pulled the razor up, creating perfect lines in the bubbles. Cleaning her razor in the water, she moved to the other leg, before rinsing off once more and climbing out of the tub.

Stepping out, she grabbed a towel and dried herself off before walking back into the room. The cool air touched her skin and she shivered, wanting to get into bed. She pulled open the top drawer and got her favorite cotton jammies. Yawning, she got dressed and then went to the huge king sized bed and got in, pulling the covers up high.

Lying in bed, in the silence of the room, Jessica closed her eyes and hoped that sleep would come quickly. Her body felt exhausted and she moved around the bed, trying to find the best position. Opening her eyes, she stared at the wall and wondered what Alyssa, Bella, Hannah, and Diana were doing. Would Diana arrive in town while she was gone? Did she remember to e-mail her the itinerary before leaving? Was Alyssa feeling okay? Was Bella? She had been acting more hormonal lately.

Shifting to her other side, Jessica tried to block all of her thoughts but it was useless. Throwing the covers off, she grabbed her phone and sent her itinerary to Diana with a short email, and then she sent quick text messages to her friends. She knew that if she didn’t do it now, she would probably be up later, tossing and turning. Once she sent the messages, Jessica went to back to bed and lay down.

Chase had been a bit nervous, wondering if Jessica had spotted Beau standing near the check-in desk. It had been a long day and trying to avoid one petite woman was harder than he thought. He paced around their room while Beau leaned back against the headboard and watched TV. They had avoided the lobby and restaurant, getting the heads up from a few friends that she was eating dinner.

His cell phone rang and Chase grabbed it. “Hello.”

“She went back to her room. The dining room is all clear. Why don’t you and Beau join Sean and me for some dinner? We’re heading there now,” Mark said, and Chase felt himself relax a bit, his paranoia lessening.

“Thanks,” he sighed.

“You can fill me in on your plan and tell me what the hell is going on with Miss Beckett.”

“We will. Meet you there.” Clicking the
end
button, Chase turned to Beau.

“Come on let’s grab some dinner.” Chase nodded, grabbed his wallet off the desk and held open the door, waiting for Beau.

“I told you she didn’t see me. You need to calm down. We are here to observe and hopefully get to know Jessica a little better.”

“You don’t feel like we might be doing something wrong, by being here?” Chase stared at his brother, wondering if maybe he felt the same way. He didn’t want to scare her off, or create more distance between them. She had done that right after they had sex at the grand opening.

“No. We care about her. She’s a private person and we just want to know what she likes. This is our chance to prove that we can be the right men for her.” Beau sounded confident and Chase wished that he felt the same way. His brother walked past him and Chase closed the door, following him down the hall, toward the dining room. They had been able to get one of the private suites on the first floor, one of the perks of being friends with the owners.

Walking into the dining room, Chase searched for Mark and Sean. When he spotted them, he went to their table and sat down. It was still hard for him to believe that Jessica was here at the Iron Gate.

Looking around, he felt almost out of place. It had been so long since he had been inside Iron Gate. He and Beau both never really thought they would be able to find a woman who would be into all their kinks and also take them both forever. They had given up this part of their lives. What he still had a hard time believing was that Jessica was here as a Domme and not a sub. Then again, she was a very complex woman.

“I want you both to know that I went against policy by confirming that Miss Beckett was here. I normally wouldn’t do that, but since we’re old friends, I made an exception. You also sounded quite desperate on the phone. So, tell me, why are you both here and what do you want with Jessica?” Mark sat back in his chair and waited for a response. Chase wasn’t sure what he really wanted to say though.

“We’ve known Jessica for a while now. She moved to Coltmann County with her friends about a year ago. Her friend Bella told us that she was coming here, and both Beau and I found that quite interesting. We’re here to observe, but we’re hoping for more,” Chase explained.

“We know you went against policy, and we’re very grateful that you confirmed Jessica was coming here. I guess we’re just trying to find a way to prove that the three of us can be together. She really means a lot to us and we want to be the men for her,” Beau added.

“You guys know that she’s not a sub, right?” Sean asked, confused, and Chase gritted his teeth, feeling disappointed. He knew that they had a fifty-fifty chance of her being a sub, but knowing that she wasn’t disappointed him more than he was willing to admit.

“I don’t think that’s the real her, I think she’s hiding from something,” Beau said, obviously refusing to take Sean’s word as the truth.

“You think that you can change her?”

“No. We don’t want to change her. We’re not asking her to become a sub at all. We just want her,” Chase said, hoping deep down that maybe she was really a sub.

“We can’t always have what we want,” Mark said, and Chase wanted to disagree, but kept his mouth shut.

“You’ll still help us though, right?” Beau asked, sitting up straighter in his chair.

This was important to them both and they really wanted to have this chance to watch Jessica from afar. Maybe they could learn more about what turned her on? Maybe they would realize that when she said it wouldn’t work out between them, that it really wouldn’t? He didn’t know anymore.

This was their chance. If she refused them again and rejected their advances once more, they would back off, for good this time. He felt like they were getting mixed messages. She stared at them both as if she wanted to touch them, needed their affection, but then she backed off, giving them the cold shoulder. The day of the grand opening of Love Song, he thought that they were finally going to be together on more than a physical level.

“Yes, of course. It’s obvious that you both care about her and we know that your intentions are good. Tomorrow morning around ten she’s teaching a seminar in the main playroom. That’s the only thing on her schedule right now. If anything changes, I’ll let you both know,” Mark told them, and Chase nodded, feeling a little bit better.

“Let’s order dinner, I’m starved.” Beau handed out the menus and Chase stared at it, not really reading the options.

When the server arrived at the table, Chase ordered a beer and a burger. He listened as Beau talked with Mark and Sean, but he couldn’t get into the conversation. His mind was consumed with thoughts of Jessica wearing black leather and dominating different young men. He knew that she wouldn’t have any problem finding a play partner. After all, she was gorgeous. Men probably followed her around like little puppies.

His stomach felt sick but still he ate, pretending to listen as everyone talked. Could he be submissive for Jessica? Did he want her bad enough to possibly try it or to at least see if it turned him on? Would Beau even consider being submissive? Shaking his head he realized that no, his brother wouldn’t be willing.