Jingle Bell Blessings (10 page)

Tilting his head ever so much, he leaned close. So close she felt his breath whisper over her. The chill of the night fell away.

Evan's mouth met hers, searching, settling into her lips, soft and strong, intoxicating and powerful. Somewhere, drifting in her thoughts, was the notion that she should pull away, remind him that this could go nowhere. That she was a completely temporary fixture in his life. Perhaps remind herself…

Instead, she waited until he ended the kiss, until he leaned back so that she could see his face. The regret.

Shakily, she inhaled. Was she doomed to go from mistake to worse mistake?

Evan looked as though he wanted to say something. Even though she had been hoping since she met him that he would speak more, now she couldn't bear a word. Not one single word.

E
van retreated to the den, warming his hands on a mug of coffee. Guilt filled, overflowed, brewing like the fresh coffee he'd just made. No worry that it would keep him up. There wouldn't be any sleep for him this night. He couldn't believe he had kissed Chloe again. Having almost convinced himself that it was an unintentional slip and vowing never to repeat it, all reason had fled when she lifted her face.

Sinking into a deep leather chair, Evan placed his coffee on the side table, staring at the portraits lining the wall. His great-grandparents, grandparents, then finally his father and mother. Each had taken the vow till death do us part. And each had kept it.

He and Robin had planned to sit for their portrait on their tenth anniversary. No longer newlyweds, but still early in what they assumed would be a decades-long marriage.

And he couldn't even keep the vow a single decade. What was he thinking? Kissing another woman? The shame was overwhelming. He had ignored the Lord's voice since that fateful day when Robin and Sean had been killed. Now all Evan could hear was His censure. Dropping his face into his hands, Evan hated the other truth prodding him. That he had
enjoyed the kiss. That he might even be developing feelings for Chloe. He groaned aloud.

“That's a mighty heavy load, son.” Gordon's voice reached out from across the room.

Evan wasn't terribly surprised. His father had always seemed to know when he was needed. Slowly, he lifted his face. In the quiet, he could hear the tamping of fresh tobacco in his father's pipe. Not that Dad ever smoked it. He had given that up thirty years earlier. But he still enjoyed the ritual, the smell of his favorite blend.

“When you were a kid, you'd fall asleep in here, reading books about rocks, dinosaurs, and the Hardy Boys. Remember?”

Evan nodded.

Even though only one dim lamp lit the room, Gordon recognized the silent gesture. “Life's not quite like one of those Hardy Boys' mysteries. Not so easily solved, sure not wrapped up all tidy.”

Evan sighed. “I know, Dad.”

Gordon stood, relocating to the chair adjacent to Evan's. “I never wanted you to suffer so. When you were two days old, I promised you I'd never let anything hurt you. At the time, I thought I had the power to keep that promise. Took a lot of maturing to realize I couldn't. Only the Lord can hold you in His hands. And He does.”

Assaulted by guilt and indecision, Evan doubted it. But hurting his father wouldn't help. “That's what you raised me to believe.”

“Belief's a funny thing. It's easy when things are good.”

Evan's defenses stirred. “You think I'm a rainy-day believer?”

“No man should outlive his child. And nothing hurts more than your child's pain. You're my child, Evan. Your pain is mine. I've felt it every day since you lost Robin and Sean. It's
not belief you need to seek. It's acceptance, the reinforcement that you will see them again.”

Staring at the floor, Evan wondered, as he had done since the accident. “Why them?”

“I don't know, son. But when the cancer took your mother, it was my faith that made it bearable, made me realize I could go on. Without it…” Gordon glanced up at the portrait of himself and Evan's mother. “I loved her all my life and I couldn't imagine life without her. Didn't want to.”

“I'm sorry, Dad.”

“We both lost her.” Gordon tamped the unlit pipe again.

“But I sure can't lose you.”

“Don't think I'm going anywhere.”

“Without your faith, you'll die inside a little bit at a time. One day you'll wake up and nothing's left.”

Evan picked up his cooling coffee. “I'm having a tough enough time just getting through today.” The kiss he shared with Chloe pricked his conscience again.

“The hayride.” It wasn't a question.

Evan blinked. “Did you intentionally push us together?”

“Good parents don't push. They lead.”

And that wasn't even an answer.

“Got any more hot coffee?” Gordon asked.

“It'll keep you up.”

Gordon smiled, his concern evident. “Thought you might like some company.”

Acceptance. Was it a concept or a reality?

Rising, Evan carried his coffee into the kitchen, dumped out the cold dregs, filled his own and a second mug. He paused. Thelma hadn't closed the kitchen curtains. Staring into the darkness, he continued to wonder. What if? What if he hadn't booked the vacation? What if Robin and Sean had survived?

What if he hadn't met Chloe?

Hadn't kissed her?

Evan's hand strayed to his lips, remembering the softness, the scent of her. What if, Lord? What if?

 

Chloe devoured the new stack of correspondence that had been plunked into the
To Be Filed
tray. Letters to and from TEX-INC, apparently a new customer. They painted a hopeful picture. The enormous order could put Mitchell Stone back in the black.

Bells jingled in the doorway. Viola popped through a few seconds later. “Time to decorate. Actually, past time.”

Her mind filled with what she'd just read, Chloe frowned.

“For Christmas,” Viola explained. “We usually put everything up right after Thanksgiving. Being shorthanded and all, we waited.” She shook the string of bells again. “We all fix up our own areas, then a few of us tackle the reception area. You game?”

Chloe had been thinking about the tiny tree she usually set up in her mother's room. The home would have one in the communal television room, but it wasn't the same. She put down the letter in her hand. “I'm game.”

Viola led her to the break room where open boxes were scattered around the tables. Plastic holly trailed from one, wooden strings of cranberries from another. One box in the corner remained closed.

“That's the nativity set,” Viola explained. “We set it up in reception. Gordon and Adele brought it back from the Holy Land. It's really special.”

“Ours always was, too.”

“Was?”

Chloe bit down on her lower lip. “We sold our family home a few years ago. My mother's in a care facility. And my
brother and his family are stationed overseas. He's Army. So there's no place to set up the nativity. I kept it, though. That and the ornaments we made with our father.” Ridiculously, she felt the sting of tears that she blinked back.

“It's an emotional time of year,” Viola said quietly. “It's supposed to be. Would you help me set up the nativity this year?”

Chloe's lips trembled. “I'd love to.”

“Good. And pick anything you want from the boxes to make the file room area festive. We all do, so stuff gets switched around each year. Everything except the nativity.”

“Thank you, Viola.”

The older woman paused, searched Chloe's face, then nodded. “See you in a bit.”

Chloe chose a few simple pieces to arrange on her desk and the incoming records table. Her mind swirled with memories and anticipation. Memories of Christmases past, the kiss she had shared with Evan, the expression on his face….

And the anticipation of setting up a nativity for the first time in several years.

For Jimmy's sake, she also considered the reverberations of Mitchell Stone's new customer. If Evan felt his employees' futures were secure, maybe he would rethink his decision. Perhaps he would decide that his life would be fuller with Jimmy in it.

Then, of course, she could go home. No more missing her mother, no more endless images of Evan's regret, his distaste for her. No more Evan.

Chloe pushed back the hurt, reminding herself it was for the best. That, even if Evan had been attracted to her, they could have no future. She expected the rationalization to make things better, to make the hurt go away. Yet it lingered, and it grew.

The day dragged along. Chloe popped into Viola's office
to ask when they would be setting up the nativity. Learning it was just after closing time, she left to pick up Jimmy from school and get him settled before returning.

The days were growing shorter, the sun setting earlier and earlier. Driving down Main Street, Chloe felt nostalgic as she saw the lights, which were strung across the road, flicker on. A huge star dominated the middle of Main Street. Alongside, on the sidewalk, living Christmas trees were placed about every twenty-five feet. How long had it been since she had taken time to enjoy the signs of the season? Always in a rush from her job to the apartment or retirement home, she never noticed anything but red lights and stop signs.

Pulling in one of the diagonal spaces in front of Mitchell Stone, Chloe parked. She could see Viola and the receptionist, Jackie, through the large plate-glass window.

Once inside, she shrugged out of her jacket. “Hope I'm not late.”

“Just on time,” Viola replied cheerfully. The box containing the nativity was perched solidly on the counter. “We keep this area simple, tasteful.”

Jackie, who had been humming “Joy To the World,” set up a brass easel. “This holds our greeting cards.”

A simple wooden table, topped by marble from Mitchell Stone's own quarry, had been placed between the two leather couches. Chloe tried to remember where she had seen the piece of furniture before.

Viola opened a package of dried moss, then pointed to a small box. “The straw's in there. Do you want to set up the stable and arrange the straw? You'll have to take out the other figurines first.”

Taking a deep breath, Chloe realized she was being given the privilege of opening the nativity box. Carefully she reached inside, removing the first of several pieces wrapped in tissue. One by one she unwrapped the glorious wood
figures. She paused when she held the manger. The quality of the carving was exquisite, replicating the rustic resting place of the Christ child.

Chloe took out small handfuls of straw, placing the chaff inside the stable. She centered the manger, then placed Mary on one side, Joseph on the other. As she finished placing the holy family, the entire scene came to life.

Chloe added the shepherds, then the Magi. Oxen, sheep and camel completed the last semicircle around the stable. Now, to place the babe in the manger. A lump stuck in her throat.

“Looks beautiful,” Viola said quietly. “Every year, when it's set up, I'm moved all over again.”

“My mother would be pleased,” Chloe murmured. “Thank you for letting me be part of this.”

“It's gotten cliché, the saying that people who work together are like a family. But we really are, have been for four generations. My great-grandfather was one of the originals. And, someone in my family has worked here ever since.”

“It's rare—this complete devotion to the welfare of the employees. I'm lucky. I have a good boss, too. But this…You're right. It is family.” Brow furrowing, Chloe frowned.

“What is it?”

“Just that family is so important to the Mitchells, yet Evan's so resistant to Jimmy.”

Viola studied her and Chloe wondered at the doubt in her eyes.

“You've put it in a nutshell,” Viola finally replied. “Family is everything to Evan.” She walked to the light switch and flipped on the exterior one. Soft white lights surrounding the main window flickered, then settled to a gentle glow.

And Chloe knew she wouldn't learn anything about Evan's past from Viola. It was frustrating, yet she had to admire the
loyalty of his friends, family and employees. Perhaps there was one person who would tell her. One person who had once been new to the town herself.

 

Grace's free hour was at ten in the morning and she had readily agreed to meet Chloe at the café on Main Street for coffee and pie. Although Chloe loved coconut cream pie, she didn't pick up her fork.

Finishing a sip of coffee, Grace's eyes lingered on Chloe's untouched dessert. “It's wonderful getting out for a while and I love the pie, but I'm guessing that's not why you asked to meet.”

Chloe hadn't dared tell Grace what she wanted over the phone. “You're the only person I've really talked to in Rosewood who isn't related to or works for Evan.”

“Hmm…” Grace listened, holding the mug close to her lips, but not drinking.

“And I think you know what I want to ask. Everyone keeps alluding to some sort of secret about Evan… his past or some event. I don't know what it is, but I feel that it's what could be keeping him from accepting Jimmy.” She leaned forward.

“Yes, I'd like to know for myself, as well. I admit it. But Jimmy's entire future is at stake, his happiness. I wouldn't ask if I…well, I could ask Evan. But he's not going to open that door for me.”

Carefully, Grace set her cup in its saucer, staring down at the table. “It's not a secret. The whole town knows about it. But, it's such a source of pain….” Empathy filled Grace's blue-gray eyes. “I know something about pain, how long it takes for a person to heal.”

Chloe waited while Grace struggled over repeating Evan's past.

“Evan was married.”

An involuntary gasp escaped before Chloe could stop it.

“And he had a five-year-old son. Robin and Sean were his life. Evan and Robin were high school sweethearts, then both went to the University of Texas, too. They knew they were meant for each other from their first meeting. They were married a short time when they learned they were expecting a baby. I don't know of any child that has ever been more anticipated and loved since conception. Their family was the ideal I wanted for myself. I think a lot of other people felt the same way.”

Trying to assimilate the revelation, Chloe remained silent.

“To surprise Robin for her birthday, Evan arranged a vacation for the family in Hawaii because Robin had always wanted to visit there. They had honeymooned at Catalina because it was closer and Evan had to get back to the university for his master's studies. Anyway, they flew to Hawaii and stayed on one of the smaller islands. On the second day of their trip, they went to the beach. It was a gorgeous, out of the way area. And there was only one place to rent umbrellas and that sort of thing. Evan walked down the road to rent life jackets, chairs and a float for Sean. While he was gone, Sean got away from Robin and ran out into the water.”