Jingle Bell Blessings (9 page)

Shrugging out of her sweater, Chloe paused, surprised to hear raised voices upstairs. Although the situation with Jimmy had caused plenty of tension, this was the first time she had heard any arguing. Uncomfortable about being able to overhear, she knew she couldn't go up to her room to change for dinner.

Chloe ran chilled fingers through her windblown hair. Thelma wouldn't mind what Chloe wore. The older woman was too down-to-earth to care about trivialities. Quick, hard boot steps hit the wooden stairs, reverberating throughout the entry hall. Chloe wanted to turn and escape through the
kitchen, but whoever was coming down the staircase would see her.

Heart sinking, she was fairly certain those strident steps belonged to Evan. Still uncomfortable, she glanced up, hoping to remain unseen.

Evan looked livid. Brow furrowed, lips thinned, his neck flushed, Evan exuded anger. Unconsciously, Chloe took a step backward.

“There you are!” Evan accused.

“I was taking a—” she started to explain.

“Stay right there.” He hit the last step with a forceful thud.

“I want to talk to you.”

Chloe had a strong feeling he wasn't going to just talk. Not with all the anger spilling out of him.

“Did you talk to my father today?” Evan demanded.

She opened her mouth.

But he cut her off. “Don't bother denying it. He was all ready for me.”

Chloe could easily guess what they had been arguing about.

“Which part of
this isn't going to work
don't you understand?” He stepped even closer. “I've heard all your reasoning, but I told you mine. That isn't going to change.”

Perplexed, she wondered what had set him off just now. “Did something happen?”

“You barged in here. After I'd told Wainwright no.”

Chloe looked around uneasily. “Do you know where Jimmy is?”

She hadn't thought it was possible, but Evan looked even angrier. “Am
I
supposed to be keeping up with him now?”

Chloe lowered her voice. “I don't want him to hear us.”

He threw up his hands. “You still can't seem to remember this is my house.”

“I just—”

“Look, I've been patient. Now it's time—”

A muffled cry caught Chloe's attention and she turned.

“What—”

“Shush.”

Evan jerked his head back in disbelief.

But Chloe was following the sound she had heard. Reaching the dining room, she spotted something on the floor and knelt to retrieve it.

“What…” Evan repeated. But his protest trailed to an end when he saw what Chloe had found.

A fully decorated cupcake dropped so that it had landed on its side and smushed the frosting.

Grimly, Chloe picked it up, glaring at Evan angrily. She had asked him to stop.

Glancing around, Evan wondered when the boy had come in to the dining room. “You think Jimmy heard?”

“You think there was any way he could avoid it?” Anger warred with disappointment in her face.

Guilt swamped Evan. He had never intended to hurt Jimmy. How had he allowed himself to get in this position? He pushed through the swinging door to the kitchen, but the room was empty. “Did you leave Jimmy by himself?”

Indignation mounted on Chloe's face like a wind-whipped flag. “Of course not! He was playing out back with Bailey. Thelma was watching him.”

Evan yanked open the door leading out to the porch, crossed it rapidly and searched the yard, spotting Thelma deadheading the last of the autumn chrysanthemums. “Thelma, do you know where Jimmy is?”

She turned around. “He's right…” Her watchful gaze swept the yard. “He was here just a minute ago. He must have gone inside.”

That was what Evan was afraid of. Immediately, he ran through a mental inventory of all the places he had used as a
kid to hide. Not wasting time explaining to Chloe, he strode toward the old carriage house. There was still a loft intact above where they now parked their vehicles. Once it had held hay. Now he hoped it held a small, seven-year-old boy. He quickly climbed the built-in wooden ladder. These days, only a few trunks were stored in the loft. Evan's breath shortened. A few of them were large enough to hold a small boy. But was there enough air in them for that same small boy?

Yanking open the lids, he quickly discovered that Jimmy hadn't climbed inside any of them. Nor was the child anywhere else in the loft. Evan descended the ladder quickly.

“He's not down here in the garage,” Chloe told him, her eyes filled with worry.

“He can't have gone far.” Evan headed next to the storage shed. In addition to practical items like a lawn mower and gardening tools, the shed held an array of implements that dated back to his great-grandfather's time. Plenty of places for a young child to wriggle under. But Jimmy was nowhere to be found. “He couldn't be in the attic,” Evan muttered. “We would have seen him going upstairs.”

“I thought the house had three staircases.”

“Right. Still…” Evan stepped out of the shed, listening to the sounds carried in the light breeze. Abruptly, he turned, striding in the opposite direction.

Chloe's shorter legs pumped to catch up to him.

Evan skirted the back porch, sprinting to the side of the house where the wraparound porch continued. The yard sloped near the end of the porch, creating a nook beneath the wide planks. Evan remembered plenty of times as a kid when it had been his sanctuary. Like the day when, while playing in the Little League championships, he struck out, and his team lost. The times when a beloved pet had passed away. When his grandfather died.

Chloe caught up with him, walking by his side as they
neared the secluded retreat. The spot was the farthest away from everything without leaving the property. The sound of muffled crying nearly stopped Evan in his tracks. Waves of memories hit. Sean's tears, his own. The ones still unshed mixed with both.

His hesitation allowed Chloe to shoot past. Kneeling down, she crawled beneath the porch, her petite frame easily fitting inside. Jimmy hugged his knees to his chest. Lips wobbling, he swiped at the tears running from red-rimmed eyes.

Instantly, Chloe gathered him close. “Oh, sweetheart, what is it?”

He cried even harder and Chloe glanced back at Evan. Then, she dug in the pocket of her jacket, retrieving a handkerchief. She gently dabbed Jimmy's cheeks.

Jimmy allowed her to wipe his face, then buried it against her shoulders, sobs rattling his small frame.

Evan felt horrible, utterly guilty. Kneeling down, he couldn't begin to fit his tall body beneath the porch, but he could reach in with his long arms. He patted Jimmy's back awkwardly at first, then in a remembered comforting way as he had done with his son.

Eventually, Jimmy's sobs slowed down until he was dragging in deep gulps of air. When he was quiet enough, Chloe stroked back the damp hair on his forehead, speaking quietly. “Did you hear something you didn't understand?”

He nodded against her shoulder.

“Sometimes grownups don't agree about things. That's all it was.”

“Evan doesn't want me here.”

As his gut knotted, Evan caught Chloe's loaded glance.

“Oh, honey, that's not true. We were talking about some grownup stuff, nothing to do with you.” This time when she looked at Evan, her gaze was a hybrid of pleading and glaring. “Right, Evan?”

He swallowed. There was only one answer. Only one his conscience would allow. “Right.” Evan couldn't stop looking at the hurt in Jimmy's eyes. “I've been worried about the business. It's on my mind all the time. Guess it just got to me today.”

“Especially since I was working in his office today,” Chloe added helpfully.

Startled, Evan jerked his gaze toward her.

“You know, like Perry suggested,” she explained rapidly, inclining her head to tell him to agree.

“Right.”
She had been in the office today?

“Remember? I go there after I take you to school,” she reminded Jimmy.

He looked up at Evan, a tiny bit of hope struggling to bloom in his face.

“To do…” Evan struggled “…office stuff.”

“When I picked you up from school, we talked about it,” Chloe continued explaining in a soothing tone. “I filed lots and lots of papers.”

Whose brilliant idea was that?
Still, Evan was incredibly relieved to see Jimmy's tears stop.

“You know what? I was just about to go upstairs to change for dinner. Do you want to go up, too? Maybe splash some cold water on your face?” Chloe studied him hopefully.

Jimmy looked at her, then at Evan.

“Why don't you go ahead,” Evan suggested. “We guys can wash up downstairs, right, Jimmy?”

Anxiously, Chloe watched for Jimmy's reaction.

He looked cautiously at Evan and sniffled. “I guess.” Chloe didn't look completely convinced. “Okay, big guy. I'll be down in a flash.”

Evan extended his hand to Jimmy. When the small fingers curled in his hand, Evan had to quash the protective feeling that exploded. He held out his other hand to Chloe, helping
her stand. Though he allowed her to take the lead in returning to the house, she dawdled, as though afraid to leave him alone with the boy.

The boy.
He had to keep thinking that way or Jimmy would slip past his defenses. Once Chloe disappeared upstairs, he led Jimmy to the washroom in back of the kitchen. It was a plain, utilitarian space with a deep sink, soap and white cotton towels. The shelves held supplies, along with Thelma's own home-concocted soap they used when nothing else would clean motor oil or grease from their hands. “No frilly girl stuff in here.” Evan grabbed a fresh washcloth and turned on the tap, letting cool water flow. Then he pulled out the stool that had been stored in the room since before Evan was born. “Hop on up.”

Jimmy did, sticking his hands under the cool water, then splashing some toward his face. Evan smiled, seeing that the youngster had missed most of the tears, in fact most of his face. Still holding the washcloth, Evan placed it under the faucet, then wrung out the excess water. “Okay, turn toward me.”

Obeying, Jimmy waited. Evan carefully wiped his face, removing all traces of his tears. Only the redness remaining in his eyes indicated his distress. “Sorry about arguing before. Like Chloe said, grownups make mistakes, too. I've sure made my share.” Evan smoothed Jimmy's hair which was sticking out in every direction. “So, how'd your cupcake project go today?”

Jimmy ducked his head. “I brought you one, but it's probably all messed up now.”

Evan remembered the dropped, now crushed cupcake. “You think you might want to decorate another one? Or maybe some cookies? I'll bet we could talk Thelma into whipping up a batch.”

“Would she be mad?”

Hating that this child had to worry about such things, Evan shook his head. “Nah. She bakes lots of cookies during Christmas. She makes a killer frosting to put on them, too. We could ask her, then head over to the grocery store and grab a few more bottles of sprinkles.”

Jimmy sniffled, then looked down as though studying his sneakers.

And Evan could feel his insecurity. “We can see if Chloe would go with us.”

Jimmy lifted his face. “Okay.”

“Now, we'd better go sweet-talk Thelma.”

C
hloe could scarcely believe they had wound up back on the baking aisle in the grocery store. She was even more stunned to realize Evan was planning to participate in the decorating. While they had been picking up supplies, Thelma had indeed whipped up a pan of sugar cookies and a large bowl of buttercream frosting. This was in addition to finishing dinner and serving it. Now a pan of gingerbread men was in the oven.

The first batch of sugar cookies cooled while they ate dinner. And somehow, Thelma had cleaned up the mess and also managed to arrange all the bottles and little plastic cups of assorted sprinkles, colored sanding sugar, dots and silver balls. Chloe didn't remember buying the little silver balls, but she did remember Evan saying they were his favorite. No doubt Thelma had a bottle of them tucked away in the pantry.

Freshly made frosting was divided in several small bowls so it could be tinted various colors. Bailey sat beside Evan, wagging his tail, staring hopefully at the cookies.

Jimmy's eyes widened when he saw the preparations. “Wow!”

Thelma chuckled. “We've had many a good time decorating
cookies in this house.” She affectionately batted Evan's arm. “And this one ate them almost as fast as he decorated them.”

Chloe couldn't picture Evan as a boy. She couldn't imagine all his hard edges covering what had once been soft spots. But this house exuded warmth. Gordon was a loving father and she had never heard anything negative about Evan's late mother. Something must have changed him….

She watched as Evan reached up with one long arm to pluck a basket from the tall shelves.

His face went peculiar for a moment, then he seemed to shake it away, putting the basket on the table so that Jimmy could peek inside. “Next time, Thelma will let you pick some cutters and make the cookies in special shapes, if you promise to help clean up the mess.”

Jimmy plucked a star-shaped cookie cutter from the basket. “Mommy had one like this.”

That same peculiar look crossed over Evan's face again.

“We made cookies lots,” Jimmy continued.

Seeing the bleak tension on Evan's face, Chloe stepped forward. “Then you'll know all about cleaning up the mess when you get to use these special cutters. What do you say we start on the first cookie?”

Jimmy didn't have any trouble deciding he wanted four colors of sugar. After he smoothed them in place, he heaped on sprinkles and dots. “Can we make another?”

Chloe glanced over at Evan, seeing he still looked upset. “Of course. What do you want to start with?”

Jimmy reached for a bowl of frosting.

“What color do you want to make it?”

His small eyebrows pulled together as he thought. “Can it just be white?”

“Sure.”

Jimmy picked up the small offset spatula and carefully
spread white frosting over the entire surface. Then he reached for the silver balls and carefully placed them so that they sparkled in all the right spots to form a star. As soon as he finished, Jimmy hopped off his chair, going to Evan's side, then tugging on his sleeve. The motion seemed to bring Evan back from wherever he had mentally traveled.

Jimmy looked up at him. “This one's for you, 'cause you like Thelma's frosting and the little silver things.”

Evan stared first at the cookie, then at Jimmy. And something in his face changed. The hardness that never completely left his eyes dimmed. Though Chloe couldn't really believe it, she thought she glimpsed vulnerability there, too. “Well…” His voice was husky, almost gravelly. “That's fine….” He knelt down and accepted the cookie. “Mighty fine.”

Chloe tried not to gape. It was a huge reaction for a small cookie.

Gordon strolled into the kitchen. “I can smell gingerbread men all the way to the den.”

Pulling her gaze from Evan, Chloe glanced at the timer. “They'll be ready soon. Right now, we're decorating sugar cookies. Would you like to join us?”

Gordon glanced at Evan, then Jimmy. “I think I'll wait until the gingerbread men are done—they're my favorites.” He took a glass from an upper cabinet and filled it with water. Turning back around slowly, he spoke to Chloe. “You know, the company hayride's this Friday night. Everyone brings their whole families. I thought maybe you and Jimmy would like to come along.”

Chloe dared a peek at Evan. But she sensed he hadn't quite returned to normal. “It sounds nice.”

“We always have a good time. The Markhams have a huge wagon and a strong team of horses. Someone usually brings a guitar, which we sing along with. Off-key, of course.”

She smiled.

“Afterward there's a bonfire. Kids always like the whole shebang.”

“The kid inside me thinks it sounds fun, too.” Chloe realized she was growing nearly as fond of Gordon as… Her thoughts screeched to a halt. That train of thought had to be derailed fast.

After Gordon ambled out of the kitchen, she sat at the table and eventually both Jimmy and Evan joined her. She had thought Evan would disappear once the decorating began again. But he sat quietly, helping Jimmy tint the frosting green, then outlining a tree shape on the cookie with toothpicks.

Entranced, Jimmy carefully smoothed on the frosting, staying within the design for the most part. Then he embellished his Christmas tree with jimmies and multicolored nonpareils. His last touch was a small clump of silver balls for the star at the top.

“That's lovely,” Chloe told him quietly.

“I wanna make an angel next. A Christmas angel.”

Evan blinked. And the pained expression returned to his face.

Instinctively, Chloe realized Evan couldn't continue. “I'd like to help you with that, Jimmy. I think stars and angels are the very best designs for the season.”

Evan's head rose, his guarded eyes meeting hers. He didn't speak.

Nor did she.

But, Chloe sensed that somehow they had just communicated more in the past hour than since she and Jimmy had arrived in Rosewood.

 

Full moons had their advantages, Evan reasoned, as the hayride began. But so did partial ones, like the slice of moon that lit the dirt road. At the same time, there wasn't so much light that every nuance of a person's expression could be
read. Normally, it wasn't a concern. But he had been overly emotional since Jimmy had presented him with that special star cookie. Even though the child felt emotionally battered, Jimmy had reached out to him again. And Evan had nearly come undone.

It wasn't as though he hadn't faced any emotional encounters since his young family perished. Life hadn't stopped for everyone else when it had for him. But none of the others had been orphaned with only him as a possible guardian.

Equally unsettling was Chloe's surprising sensitivity, her understanding. Just when Evan thought he might crumble, she had reached out, diverted the disaster. She should have taken advantage of his sudden weakness, striking when he was vulnerable if she wanted to press her case, to accomplish what Wainwright had sent her to do.

Why hadn't she?
The thought rolled around in his mind like a ceaseless pinball, striking curves, hitting flat out, but never disappearing. The few days before the hayride he had actually hidden out at his own office, unwilling to run into Chloe. Not certain what he would say if he did. But she had remained low-key as well, mostly staying in the file room. He overheard her speaking with the office manager, but left before Chloe could see him.

Hardly cold-blooded professional behavior. She could be off her game, but he didn't think so. Chloe continued to nurture and encourage Jimmy, and to further her relationships with everyone else in the house.

The clip-clop of horses' hooves blended with the quiet voices and occasional bursts of laughter from the wagon's passengers. He glanced over at Chloe and Jimmy, who were wearing newly purchased jeans and casual cotton shirts. He had heard her consult with Viola about what the attire should be. In addition, Chloe had made sure Jimmy was warmly
dressed, insisting on a jacket and hat. But she wore only a light sweater.

The nights got nippy this time of year. Not the fierce cold of the northern midwest, but still cool enough to chill the bones. Everyone else on the wagon had been raised in and around Rosewood and knew the peculiarities of their own weather and had dressed accordingly.

Jimmy pointed toward the sky. “I can see really big stars.”

Chloe smiled. “They're all big and bright in Texas.” She leaned close. “
Everything's
supposed to be bigger in Texas.”

“I'm bigger,” he announced.

She laughed. “Probably nearly a foot taller.”

Jimmy grinned, then looked over at a group of kids his own age on the other side of the wagon.

Chloe followed his gaze. “Do you want to sit over there?”

“Can I?”

“Just remember what I told you. Have fun, but don't hang over the sides or back of the wagon.”

“Okay.” He took off like a shot.

Her smile turned tender. Jimmy had gotten to her. Why couldn't she have been the one with the opportunity to raise this loveable child?

Evan watched Jimmy scramble away, then studied Chloe's dreamy expression. “Think he'll mind you?”

“He's a good kid.” She stared up toward the sky.

Evan couldn't ignore the sweep of Chloe's long lashes, the curve of her cheek, the fullness of her lips. His gaze lingered overly long at the last spot. “I know.”

“I was teasing Jimmy,” she said in a muted tone, “but the stars truly do seem brighter.”

“The sky looks different everywhere. Altitude, air quality, proximity to artificial light….”

“That's the scientist in you. But as a Texan?”

“Definitely bigger and brighter.”

Chloe laughed quietly. “The sky reminds me of how it looks back home at the lakes. Very different from the city.”

“Which do you like better?”

“That's like asking which is cuter—puppies or kittens.”

Amused, he relaxed a fraction. “Guess it
is
the scientist in me. Never compared newborn animals with astronomy.”

“Surely you've seen them in the clouds,” she protested mildly.

“Not during the night.”

“Ah, so technical,” Chloe teased. “I've seen every living thing in the clouds.”

“Even microbes?”

She groaned. “You do know how to take the magic out of the night skies.”

No. The romance.
That's what he was obliterating. And, the fact that he needed to, alarmed him. Yet he didn't pull away. If anything, he slid the tiniest bit closer. “Magic is in the beholder.”

“I thought that was love.”

The word dangled between them, hovering like a harbinger of danger, perhaps even more.

Chloe shifted first, ostensibly to check on Jimmy who was laughing with the other kids, paying no attention to two tense adults.

It was ridiculous, Evan reasoned. Just because he was a man and she was a woman. He couldn't quite complete the thought.

The wagon hit a bump, jostling Chloe, pressing her against his side. She didn't straighten up immediately, instead holding
her breath. Lurching the other direction, the wagon took her away almost as quickly. Evan immediately missed the contact.

She hugged her arms, shivering.

“You should have worn something warmer.”

“I didn't pack a coat. I thought…”

That he would have already said yes to keeping Jimmy. That she wouldn't be in Rosewood long enough to need winter wear.

“Why didn't you buy one when you got the jeans?”

Chloe glanced down. “I'm fine.” There wasn't extra money in her budget for a new winter coat. Not until she received the raise Mr. Wainwright had promised if she fulfilled her mission. She had received an email from the administrator at her mother's retirement home. The rate was going up again, starting the following month. If Chloe was very, very careful she could squeeze it out of her budget. Fortunately, her utilities would be less since she wasn't home. But what if Evan stuck to his guns? What if she failed?

And what if she never forgot the solid feeling of his muscled body beside hers?

Chloe knew he was strong. She had seen the muscles flex beneath his shirt sleeves, and she could never have missed the endless length of his legs. Her breath was so short, she wondered if it would return to normal.

Even if Evan wasn't off limits because he was a client, she couldn't trust her judgment any longer. She had actually believed her fiancé, Derek, had loved her, that they shared the same dreams and values. How could she have missed what must have been colossal clues?

And then there was Mom. Chloe could never leave her. Chip wouldn't be back in the states for at least two years. Then he could be stationed on the other side of the country
or world. No, she was the only constant in her mother's life, the one Mom depended on.

The evidence was conclusive, inescapable and it made her heart ache.

Surreptitiously, she peeked over at Evan. He, too, looked as though he had more than stars and hayrides on his mind.

There was something so basic, so appealing about bumping along a country road in the dark, wrapped in the comforting warmth of good people. For the briefest moment, Chloe let herself imagine how it would be if these were her friends, her family. Evan and Jimmy…family? The tender part of her heart twinged.

And she couldn't stop herself from lifting her face to meet Evan's eyes. Despite the dim light of the night sky, she watched his eyes darken, shifting to another place, another mood. She swallowed. The wagon lurched and Chloe allowed herself to slide with the motion, her arm pressing against his. Although reluctant to lose contact, she twisted until she faced him.

His eyes darted to her lips.

Throat dry, mouth drier, she could only continue gazing at him.