Jingle Bell Blessings (16 page)

T
he light in Jimmy's room was dim. Exhausted, he had fallen asleep soon after eating his dinner. Thelma had fussed over him, using the corner of her apron to wipe her red-rimmed eyes while she offered to cook any and everything he might want. Too tired, emotionally and physically, to care, he had agreed to a bowl of chicken and dumplings. But he didn't eat much, instead leaning against Evan for a while, then Chloe.

Evan had helped Jimmy with his bath, then sat with him while he settled in for the night. Evan continued hovering until he was absolutely certain Jimmy was asleep and content.

Chloe had given Evan space, knowing he needed to reassure himself that Jimmy was really, truly out of danger, that he was safely ensconced beneath the Mitchells' roof. Evan was reluctant to leave, finally forcing himself to go.

Now, Chloe watched as Jimmy slept. Although she had tucked Elbert at his side, Jimmy hadn't reached for him as he usually did. Having an actual human to count on had relieved some of his fear, perhaps all of it. She stroked his dark hair, memorizing each feature, holding fast to this memory.

Stars filled the windswept sky. The storm had moved on, after bringing a light rain to wash the last of the dust away. A fresh start, Chloe mused. Utterly, inescapably grateful for
Jimmy's safety, she thought she saw one of the stars blink.
Thank You, Lord, for everything, for keeping them both safe, for opening Evan's heart.

The star twinkled and Chloe's throat closed. Evan's heart had opened for Jimmy and she was more grateful than she could have ever thought possible. Now that Jimmy had a guardian, one who loved him, her precious child would no longer need her. It was what she wanted, what she had brought Jimmy to Rosewood to find. Although she had told herself it would be difficult to say goodbye, Chloe hadn't imagined the loss now swamping her.

Jimmy would also have Gordon, Thelma and Ned, who clearly loved him as well. And Rosewood was a wonderful place for any child to grow up in. He had caring teachers, friends at school, an inspiring church and caring church family. Now that Evan had committed himself to being Jimmy's guardian, he wouldn't hold back. As in everything, Evan would be on full throttle, ensuring that Jimmy would be an incredibly happy child.

Heart brimming with love, Chloe glanced down at him, sleeping so soundly, so peacefully. This sweet boy would never cry himself to sleep because he was lonely, and all his holidays would be filled with family and tradition. The kind of tradition she had secretly dreamed of, imagining the years stringing out before them like a sparkling garland on the tallest Christmas tree.

The door to Jimmy's room eased open. Thelma stuck in her head, followed by Ned, peering over her shoulder. “Is he okay?” Thelma mouthed soundlessly. Chloe nodded.

Both smiled back, then left as silently as they had come.

Yes, Jimmy would be encased in more than enough love for one small child. But, he would also be loved from afar
because Chloe knew she would always carry him in her heart. This, her first, most precious child.

Jimmy slept deeply, unaware that she watched over him, memorizing the shape of his small nose, the way his eyebrows scrunched together when he was concentrating, the bright light of his soul that shone in his winsome eyes. Gently, she stroked his dark hair again, hoping to leave the tiniest imprint in his consciousness so he wouldn't completely forget her.

Gordon opened the door, crossing silently to the bed. “You won't get a minute's sleep with all of us checking on him,” he whispered.

Unable to speak, she stepped back, allowing him access. Gordon would be a wonderful grandfather—loving, caring and fun. It was the best ready-made family she could have hoped for.

“I'll get out of your way,” Gordon whispered, patting her back. “Our boy's just fine.”

Chloe managed to keep a neutral expression until he left. Then she sank in to the wood rocking chair adjacent to the bed. Earlier, she had moved the chair from its usual spot in the corner so she could sit by Jimmy.

Bending her head she prayed silently.
Dear Lord, please help me show Jimmy that I know he's in the right place. Give me strength. Don't let me show my sadness, my need to stay close. I want what's best for him. But I'll need help, Lord. More help than I've ever needed before.

 

Christmas Eve dawned bright, filled with people, noise and mysterious but enticing aromas from the kitchen. Refreshed by a full night of sleep, Jimmy bounced up, ready to tackle another day.

He ran through the open door to Chloe's room. “Chloe! Chloe!”

She turned to him with a smile, determined not to allow her sleepless night and anguish show. “Hey, big guy!”

“I got it already! My family!”

“Yes, you did! I'm so happy for you, Jimmy.” So happy that she wanted to die, knowing he and Evan would never be hers.

“And you!” he responded, grinning.

“Me?”

“Sure. Now we're all a family.” Jimmy grabbed her neck, his thin arms hugging hard.

Don't cry. Don't cry!

He pulled back. “Can we go see the outside Jesus?”

She mentally translated. “The live nativity?”

“Uh-huh. Uncle Gordon said they'll be there as soon as it's dark. And that it gets dark faster now. Please!”

“Unless Evan has something else planned, I think he'll agree.”

“They have a
real
donkey and a lamb. Not like Susie Brady playing the lamb in our play.”

Chloe smiled. “That's great. But you know the animals aren't the most important part, right?”

“It's the birthday for Jesus. He was borned where my star is.”

“So, what else do you want to do today?”

“Evan's taking me to the store.” Jimmy stopped. “It's kind of a surprise.”

“Christmas is full of surprises.” She pushed a bit of hair from his forehead. “Good surprises. You have fun today, okay?”

“Okay.” He bounced on his sneakers, ready to start.

Chloe wasn't sure if she could hold her smile in place any longer. “Head on downstairs. I'll see you a little later.”

“Thelma made French toast.”

“Sounds delicious.”

Jimmy skipped through the doorway, then quickened his pace down the hall to the staircase, finally pounding down the stairs.

Chloe heard voices and the closing of the front door. Moving to her window, she edged the curtain back, seeing Evan and Jimmy walk to the truck. Evan had his arm draped around Jimmy's shoulders. They were a perfect match, as she had known they would be.

Watching until the truck was out of sight, she turned around, looking at the shelf in her open closet where her suitcase was stowed. Although she had more presents to wrap, Chloe wanted to pack while Jimmy was out. He didn't need to watch the process. It was going to be hard enough to say goodbye. When she did, Chloe wanted to be set to flee to her car, to make the break as painless as possible for Jimmy.

Grabbing the empty bag, she laid it on the bed, then opened it. Originally thinking her visit would most likely last only a few weeks, there wasn't too much to gather. Pulling open a dresser drawer, she lifted out the jeans and shirt she'd bought for the hayride. She thought of Evan's kiss, the regret that pained him. Holding the items close, she remembered the sweet smell of fresh hay, the laughter, the moonlight, the feelings Evan had brought to life.

Before she could collapse in tears, she shoved both pieces into the suitcase. Folding the rest of her clothes, Chloe dropped them inside, not caring what wrinkled, not caring if the stuff even made it back to Milwaukee. She left out her nicest dress for Christmas Day.

Although she tried, Chloe couldn't get a reservation out for either Christmas Eve or day. She could at least have spent the holiday with her mother. Thinking of Mom alone was worrying Chloe more and more. And she needed to be gone. To allow Evan and Jimmy to bond, to begin their new relationship. Booking one of the few seats left out of San Antonio for
the twenty-sixth, she would remain in Rosewood as shortly as possible.

Chloe opened another dresser drawer, withdrawing the last of her gifts for wrapping. Realizing the paper and other supplies were still in the storeroom off the kitchen, she gathered her strength, and tried to squelch her feelings.

Downstairs, she hesitantly pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen. Smelling the French toast Thelma had mentioned, she spotted a note on the table:
“French toast and bacon in the warming drawer. Syrup's on the counter. Make your own coffee.”

Chloe smiled faintly. The note didn't need a signature. Reading it was like having Thelma standing there, speaking. Having no appetite, Chloe put her gifts down on the table and took Thelma's advice, making a fresh pot of coffee.

Back in the storeroom, the paper had been orderly returned to the shelf. Chloe didn't need much to wrap the few remaining gifts. A lace handkerchief for Thelma, a freshly sealed package of cherry pipe tobacco for Gordon, a children's bible for Jimmy that she had inscribed to him, and a paperweight for Evan, made from his own quarry's limestone. Viola and Dilbert had helped her retrieve the small piece she needed. Dilbert had volunteered to cut the stone for her, then inscribe Evan's initials. Chloe's fingers lingered over the paperweight, then traced the lettering on Jimmy's bible.

“Thought I smelled fresh coffee,” Gordon declared as he pushed open the swinging door to the kitchen, sniffing in pleasure. “Thelma always leaves me to my own devices until supper on Christmas Eve. Personally, I think she turns into one of the elves while she's out.” He filled a mug. “Did you get some?”

Chloe shook her head, afraid to trust her voice.

“You made it, I'm happy to pour.” Snagging another mug, he poured more fresh coffee and carried both mugs to the
large oak table. “Looks like you're busy. Am I going to be in the way?”

“No.” Chloe's voice was raspy. To cover it, she sipped the coffee, forgetting how hot it would be.

“Whew. Must have asbestos-lined innards.” Shaking his head, Gordon added cream to his own mug.

Chloe placed one hand over her scalded mouth.

“Chloe? That burned, didn't it?” Rising, he grabbed a glass, put a few ice cubes and milk inside, and rushed it back. “Here, drink this. It'll help.”

Obediently, she sipped the cold milk. It did help, but for the life of her, Chloe couldn't dredge up a smile.

Concerned, Gordon studied her. “It's not just the hot coffee. You look like you lost your best friend.”

Realizing the milk was no disguise, she set it on the table. “No. Not my best friend.”

Gordon leaned back in his chair. “Jimmy.”

“I'm so pleased, beyond pleased, that Evan has finally accepted Jimmy as his own.” Chloe lifted her face, fierceness burning in her eyes. “And I wouldn't change that for anything in the world.”

“And you?”

“I've done my job.” Expelling a deep breath, she looked back down.

“It hasn't been a job for you for quite a while now.” Gordon squeezing her hand encouragingly. “And, it's not over.”

“Afraid it is. I won't lie and say it's not killing me to leave Jimmy.”

Gordon's kind, wise eyes searched hers. “Just Jimmy?”

“There's that wishful thinking bug again.”

“Oh, Chloe. You've been able to see so much, learn so much while you've been here. Don't stop now.”

She couldn't make Evan love her. Certainly couldn't make him stop missing his late wife, nor could she ever take Robin's
place. And she couldn't say any of that to Gordon. “Thank you for the milk. I'd have never thought of it for a burned mouth.”

He squeezed her hand again, then released it, leaning back to sip his cooling coffee. Chloe was grateful he didn't press her any longer. She couldn't bear it.

 

By five o'clock that afternoon, the Mitchell family had assembled in the entry hall. Everyone wore warm coats, gloves and hats. Chloe wore her warmest slacks and shirt, covered by the sweater she'd brought.

Evan turned the knob on the front door, then paused, turning around. “Whoops. Jimmy, I think we forgot something.”

Jimmy nodded enthusiastically. “Uh-huh.” He pulled out a small, gaily wrapped package, then handed it to Chloe. “Surprise!”

“It's a family tradition,” Gordon explained. “Everyone gets to open a gift on Christmas Eve.”

Chloe looked around. No one else was opening presents. But she didn't want to appear ungracious. With Jimmy about to burst, she unwrapped the box, peeled back the tissue paper and found a lovely pair of brown leather gloves.

“You can put 'em on now!” Jimmy urged, still smiling brightly.

“Great time for it,” she agreed.

“I'll snip the tags,” Thelma offered, producing a pair of scissors.

They had planned well.

“While she's doing that, open this one.” Gordon handed her another box. “You said
one
gift.”

“One, two, who's counting?”

“You guys…” This time, she unwrapped a snug-looking
ivory hat. “Very well coordinated, very appreciated. Thank you, Gordon.”

Thelma held out a slim, rectangular package.

“Thelma, not you, too!”

“Open it or we're going to be late,” Thelma instructed gruffly, her eager eyes giving away her pleasure.

A hand-knitted scarf in an array of colors from a golden caramel to deep brown rested in the folds of tissue paper. “Oh, Thelma… It's gorgeous. You must have spent hours making this.”

“A body's got to stay warm,” Thelma replied, trying unsuccessfully to disguise her delight.

Impulsively, Chloe hugged the older woman, who returned the gesture with a fierce hug of her own. “Guess I'd better put it on,” Chloe said shakily, looping the lovely scarf around her neck. “Wow. I'm all set.”