Jodi's Journey (24 page)

She went to the wagon and pulled out the tea.
She smelled it. Now that Hunt was better, she didn't have to worry
about him. And if anything did happen to her, he'd take the herd
through. She knew that beyond a doubt.

There was only one way she might end this
all. She'd wait till they reached Abilene and see another doctor.
Do it right!
At least then she might get the right
proportions. Yes, that was a good idea. They were only days from
their destination, and that would be soon enough.

With the plan firmly planted in her mind, she
began packing up the wagon. She'd only had a weak moment with Hunt.
She was better now; she could finish this.

Boring flatlands stared at her through the
haze of a cool breeze. The only break in scenery was around the
springs and rivers, and the lonely, far reaching mountains in the
distance. Here spring wasn't budding out. Here it was still dead,
and only the mountains to the north made the land interesting. But
this grassland was perfect for cows and the cattle seemed to settle
into it well.

Nearly out of Indian Territory, the only
problem seemed to be the weather. It was cold and the streams and
rivers were icy cold. The storms were unthinkably cruel to the
land, people, and cattle. The wind whistled a lonely tune against
the tumbleweeds that scattered with no place to go.

Jodi joined her place in the lead and headed
north for a camp spot. Long before the midday meal, Matt joined
her. Jodi was a little surprised to see him.

“Boss sent me up to help and keep an eye
out,” Matt said.

“An eye out for what?” Jodi challenged. “I
don't see a need.”

“Indians mostly, and farmers. He said in this
land the farmers were sort of bitter at the way the cattle came
pushing their way on to their land. I guess he's just being
cautious. And he said to keep our eye out for the other herd and
any buffalo signs.”

“I've seen signs of the buffalo coming
through here, but I haven't actually seen one in days.”

“Yeah, more than likely we could feel them
before we seen them,” Matt chuckled.

“They do make a little noise,” she
acknowledged with a chuckle of her own.

Matt laughed aloud. “And then some. Orneriest
critters I've ever seen. Cain't hardly kill one less you have a
good gun and know where to shoot it. They ain't like cows at all,
and I don't know why I thought they would be easy to down, but I
figured they would be.”

“Maybe you'll get one next time,” Jodi
laughed.

They were rolling along the prairie and
suddenly rolled over a rock in the pathway. Jodi jolted. She felt
something—something strange—inside her. The baby! Dear God, it was
the baby! She nearly shrieked aloud. Shocked beyond words, she sat
speechless for a full minute. What had the doc said about the
quickening? That it was a sign it was a human being and against the
law to kill it? Dear God, had she waited too long?

The doctor in Ft. Worth had asked if she had
had movement yet, and she hadn't until now. What did it mean? Was
it unsafe to try to abort the child now? One bump and her entire
life was changing? And yet, it was like a message to her that what
she had inside her was real, and alive. No longer was it
silent.

She had to control herself; she had to act
normal. Matt was here with her. He'd know something was wrong and
probably call Hunt up to them. But for the life of her, she felt an
emotion she had never felt before. Until this moment, she hadn't
thought of herself as a mother. It was as though the thought hadn’t
hit her. Now, suddenly, there it was! And that realization made all
her emotions spring forth at once. Like a flood pounding her brain
with added problems. Pride and fear mixed with something new.

“You all right?” Matt asked, obviously seeing
the play of emotions crossing her face at the moment.

“I'm fine. I'm going to check on the food,”
she said and hurried to the back of the wagon to give herself a
moment to collect.

As she climbed to the back, she pretended to
take care of things while her mind raced with worries. Why couldn't
it have waited till after Abilene? Why now? What was she going to
do now?

Tears were at the edge of spewing, but she
knew she couldn't afford the luxury of crying. There were too many
people about. She had to carry on. Perhaps when she got to Abilene
the doctor could help her there. Yes, she had to hope and pray that
the doctor would somehow see her predicament and help her.

As they came to the Ne-ne-squaw River, Hunt
rode up to the wagon. “Let's camp here tonight, cross over
tomorrow, and get ready for the Arkansas River. Once we've crossed
that one, we'll be close to Abilene.”

“It looks like rain, though…” Jodi remarked
as her eyes quickly scanned the horizon.

“Yeah, but the cattle can graze and fatten up
a bit as we get closer. You and I will have to ride ahead and see
if we can find a buyer,” Hunt instructed. “So let's make camp.”

Jodi was uneasy about everything. She saw
things in a totally different light now. She was so shocked and so
nervous, she wasn't sure she could manage. Matt helped her all the
way and seemed to sense something was amiss, but he said
nothing.

Although it rained and it was very cold, the
cattle seemed lulled, especially since Hunt had taken to singing
again.

He worked the late detail and let the others
come to camp early. Jodi was glad; maybe she could go to sleep
before he came in. She wasn't used to the feelings he created in
her and she knew she wasn't thinking straight about him. She
couldn't trust her heart to Hunt. She had to take care of this, and
soon.

She heard the rain dripping from the wagon as
she dipped up the last of supper. Hunt was the last to come in. He
looked tired and wore dust like a second skin. Jodi wanted to
comfort him, but knew she needed to keep her distance.

He took his shirt off and cleaned himself in
the wash water, then grabbed his shirt off the tree limb and strode
toward the chuck wagon.

His chest gleamed with hardly a hair on it.
She found it hard not to look at him.

She dished the last crew up some dinner and
started to go into the wagon. “Can I talk to you?” Hunt asked, his
voice low and mesmerizing.

“Sure,” she said, wishing she had a good
excuse not to be close to him, yet wanting to be close to him,
too.

They sat on the ground, against the wagon
with a slicker beneath them. “What's up?” she asked, trying to act
natural.

“We've almost reached the end of the trail,
Jodi,” Hunt concluded with a tired sigh.

“I know, and we're doing great too. We've
made good time and managed to keep more than what we started with.”
Jodi smiled with open satisfaction.

“Yeah, we've done pretty well.” He watched
her closely as he spoke. “But there are some things we need to talk
about.” He glanced at her. “Between you and me…”

“What do you mean?” Jodi asked innocently,
although her breath hitched.

“Oh, a lot of things. For one, we're married,
for another, you are with child, for another, you want to get rid
of the child.” He said it so matter-of-factly that it startled
her.

“If you are worried about us being
married…you don't have to be.” She drew a breath and went on. “We
can go right back to where we both came from and live…”

“No, we can't, and you know it. Nothing will
ever be the same again, Jodi, for you or for me. This drive has
woke me up, made me see things for what they are. It's breathed new
life into me, Jodi, and you were a big part of that,” he said quite
finally. His expression was taut. “Look, I don't know how to talk
to you about this except to be blunt. I understand what Hershel did
to you…it was wrong, dead wrong, and he'll pay, but Jodi.” He
looked at her and his eyes seemed to nail her to the ground. “You
can't get rid of the baby.”

“Now look, Hunt, I appreciate the fact that
you care what I do, but this is my concern, not yours. It's my
decision,” she injected, trying to keep the hysteria at bay.

“Jodi, I know what you want to do,” he began.
His gaze softened as his voice filled with understanding. “And I
understand why you want to do it, but you've got to hear me out on
this.” He turned toward her.

“We've been over this. I don't see…”

His eyebrows lifted wearily, his frown
marring his compassion for her. “I wasn't sure, but I had a notion.
And now that I know…well…it makes a difference, for you and for
me.”

“Be quiet, someone might hear,” Jodi
insisted, glancing about and realizing that everyone had bunked
down for the night.

“Well, I don't think anyone would make much
of this conversation but you and me. Look, Jodi. I haven't always
done things right, myself. I've made my share of mistakes, you know
that. But…how can I put this? How can I explain? If you don't want
the kid, I'll take it,” he blurted out.

When she gasped and stared at him in total
shock, he continued. “I'll raise it as my own. I can't offer the
moon, but with this job, it's a start in the right direction. I can
get a place, some cattle, and keep going that way. The way I see
it, if you wanted to…we could even stay married, if you want. We
can be…a family.”

Jodi's mouth fell open, and this time she was
completely baffled. Two months ago, she would have laughed in his
face at such an offer. But that was two months ago. Tonight, she
was dumbstruck for words. What he offered was incredible. But, why?
He hadn't said the one thing that might have turned her away from
her thoughts. He wouldn't be saying it, either.

“You'd raise another man's child?” she asked
with unhidden shock.

“Why not? I was an orphan when the Johnsons
took me in. I was barely a year old when my folks both were killed
in an Indian raid. Just a babe. This family of twelve took me in,
said one more mouth to feed wouldn't hurt. I grew up healthy and
strong with lots of love and family. I loved them like they were my
real folks. They raised me, sent me to school for awhile, taught me
about the Bible and the good things in life. I could do the same
for you and the baby. I'd like you to think on it.”

“You think it's wrong for me to want to get
rid of this baby?” she asked in a bare whisper as she grabbed her
belly.

“Don't get me wrong, I understand why. I just
don't think its right,” Hunt said with all sincerity.

“Why?” she cried.

“Because it would be murder, the worst kind
of murder, an innocent. The child didn't do anything wrong, Hershel
did. I could understand you killing Hershel easier than you killing
the baby. Heck fire, I'd help you kill Hershel, but not the
baby.”

She eyed him with cold calculation, softened
only by an unexplained emotion choking her. “But I want no part of
Hershel Walker, in any way. I don't want anything that reminds me
of what he did to me around me. You'd have to be a woman to
understand that, I guess.”

He grew more serious, more withdrawn. “I
guess if you couldn't stomach the baby, I could take it and raise
it alone, if that's what you wanted. And I'd do it.” His soft voice
urged her into complacency. “Look, you feel the way you do right
now, but time can change that. I know how you feel about Hershel.
And believe me, I'm glad of that. But, the baby doesn't have to be
a part of him. The baby is yours. You see, you thought you were
violated, and you were, but God gave you something out of this. A
baby. Now it's up to you what you make of it.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks now as she
looked up into his face. “I can't promise you. I won't promise
you…”

“Then think on it, and while you're at it,
think on this.” He pulled her to him and kissed her so tenderly she
swooned in his arms. It both shocked and thrilled her, the way he
manipulated her. It was so intimate, so real. She clung to him and
whimpered when he pulled away.

“Not everyone is a Hershel Walker, Jodi,” he
rasped, and then he was gone.

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

When they reached the Arkansas, it was way up
and the banks were overflowing. Not that it surprised anyone,
especially Hunt. It had been a very wet spring. The water had
nowhere to go but up.

The herd ahead had been bedded and they
stopped and camped near a fork of the river.

“I've got to go ahead and check on that
herd,” Hunter announced as they made camp the next evening.

“You can't,” Jodi cried as apprehension swept
over her. She couldn't seem to get a grip on her own emotions where
Hunt was concerned. Her mind kept reliving his warm and tender
kisses, and the sensations he evoked from her. And his unselfish
and caring offer to take the child and raise it as his own had
shocked her.

Hunt firmed his mouth and looked down into
her face. “I have to. We can't move on till they get out of our
way. I thought they knew what they were doing, but I was wrong.
There is just something wrong with that outfit, and I don't know
what. But we can't stay here forever.”

“But they nearly killed you the last time,”
Jodi pleaded as emotion choked her.

“He won't go alone, Señora. We will go with
him,” Concho said as all the men stood behind him.

Hunt eyed them with new respect, but shook
his head negatively. “Someone's got to look after our herd, Concho.
And I'm afraid you are the man for that job. I don't want to have
to worry about us back here while I'm dealing with them.”

Concho frowned and bowed his head.

That's when Cole, Joe, Dutch, and Sparky
stepped up. “We'll go with you, boss. The others can man our herd.
You're right, something is wrong with that bunch.”

Hunt stared at the men, and then heaved a
sigh. “I'd rather not lose any of you.”

“You won't be losin' anyone,” Cole corrected,
his hand on his gun, a smile on his lips.

Hunter realized that Cole was probably very
good with his gun, but preferred cattle to fighting. He liked that
about him. There was this inexplicable feeling of understanding
growing between him and his men now and it gave Hunt pride he
hadn't felt in a long time.