Journey into the Unknown (3 page)

Either subconsciously or intentionally, the rest of the week I focus on my work. I’m even taking work home with me. Kye remains very friendly at work and talks to me about various things, but backs off of the thorny topic. She is also very busy with work and doesn’t have much time for chit-chatting, yet she invites me to lunch with her and a friend. I turn down her lunch invitation. She has also become a favorite in the office with staff. She has been invited out by employees to participate in extracurricular activities. She extends the invitations to me, but I decline.

Friday soon arrives and Kye offers once again that I attend an event with her and friends. I decline her offer late in the afternoon while we are both in the break room. Upon returning to my desk, I find an envelope on the seat of my chair. It's addressed to me, but is marked personal and confidential. I place the envelope inside my briefcase without reading the contents. I take it home with me.

Stepping outside of the building, I feel something is missing. I figure it out when I realize that Kye usually walks me out, but she left early with coworkers. Feeling a bit jealous, I breathe in the fresh afternoon air and suddenly I feel wild and free. I twirl around and around with my briefcase, barely missing passersby. Of course, they all look at me as if I have something strange going on. Actually, I do have something strange going on inside of me. I let many taxis drive by. Passing by the lesbian club, the Eagle’s Nest, I hear the music coming from inside. I stand there bobbing my head and I begin dancing in the streets. Again, people look at me as if I am losing my mind. It doesn’t matter because some type of rejuvenation is going on inside me. I feel like nothing matters. Nothing matters so much that I find myself inside of the Eagle’s Nest sitting at the bar again.

* * * *

Mick the bartender remembers me. He asks if I want the usual. I smile. The reason he remembers me when I only visited the place once is probably because I passed out and had to be carried out of the bar. I nod my head and he places the shot glass before me. He fills it up numerous times. I look around the club. I feel alive watching the happy hour people dance around, talk, and have fun in the dimly lit room.

Soon, I am approached. Instead of it being a woman, I am pleasantly surprised to see a handsome man sitting next to me asking me a question. I'm so lost in the atmosphere of the room that initially I don't hear his question. I assume he is now asking me the question for the second time.

“May I buy you another shot?” He sounds British, with a posh accent.

“Oh no, I think I may have had too many already.”

“You come here often?”

“No, actually, this is only my second visit.”

“Well, I’m guessing since you returned, it suits you.”

“No, I’m just a curious onlooker. I enjoy watching the people because they throw caution to the wind and just seem so free and open.”

“So, when you say you are curious, do you mean bi-curious, lesbian-curious, or may I ask what type of curious do you mean?”

I look at the man with such bewilderment that I think he is mortified. He takes several drinks before he speaks again. I keep my attention set on the bartender.

“I’m sorry if I said something to offend you. Actually this is my first time here. I knew the type of establishment, but I never had the nerve to come inside.”

“So, now that you are inside, how do you feel being the only male in here besides the bartender? Even the bouncers are female.”

“Well, I feel neither here nor there. I just feel like…well, to be honest, I’ve always had this inkling to meet a lesbian and try to seduce her.”

Once again this man with the James Bond accent shocks me to hell. I stare at the bartender in complete silence.

“Do you find the bartender more interesting than my conversation or am I on a roll with the shock factor tonight?”

I push my shot glass forward and Mick fills it to the rim. I toss it back and I look into the guy’s face.

“'Shock factors' have come into my life so much lately, I'm accustomed to them. I hear you and I shouldn’t be shocked, but I am. So, if you will excuse me, I think it’s time for me to catch a cab.”

“Please don’t go. I generally see things in people like trustworthiness, honesty, good, or bad. Something about you is pretty cool. Do you get what I’m saying?”

“I get it,” I respond with a sigh. “Besides, I’m not ready to go home to an empty house anyway. But, if you turn out to be some type of pervert, I do have mace and a stun gun.”

He laughs then reaches into his jacket pocket. He hands me a business card.

I take the card and slip it into my purse without looking at it. My eyes are too blurry from the alcohol to read the card. I have been drinking too many shots. He may think that I am not interested in him, but that is not the case.

“So, one more shocker question. Do you think you can handle it?”

“Yes…no…yes…wait! I’ll take that shot you offered me first.”

He laughs.

“Okay. Bartender, please give the beautiful lady as many shots as she requires. It’s on me.”

I knock back two or three drinks and then look his way.

“By the way, what is your name?”

“It’s on my business card which you so boldly tossed away, but I’m Alastair.”

“I didn’t toss it. It’s right here in my purse. I know where it is. But, your name—Alastair—and your accent make you British, right?”

“Indeed it does. I’m so glad that you noticed...uh, your name?”

“Miranda, my name is Miranda.”

“So, may I ask the question now, Miranda?”

“Fire away.”

“You say that this is your second visit to this place. So, I’m trying to figure out if you fit in with the crowd.”

“Are you asking if I’m lesbian?”

“Yes.”

I laugh. I laugh until tears form in my eyes. I laugh and laugh and laugh. I laugh my way to the dance floor without responding to Alastair. I twirl around and around and around. I dance to techno and to beats I haven’t danced to in years. Actually, this is my second dance in some three or four years. First, I danced in the streets and now I’m dancing in a lesbian bar. I’m on a roll! I’m alive and free.

I see Alastair looking at me like I'm crazy at first, but then he stands close to the dance floor, and claps and cheer me on. His clapping invigorates me, or maybe it’s the alcohol. I’m loose now and going strong. Ladies gather around me as I flail my arms all around and in the air. I’m sure Alastair likes this since he wants to seduce a lesbian. I’m not a lesbian, but he doesn’t know it. I sure feel like one now because I’m being pulled close to women who are grinding on my body, palming my butt, and kissing me on the mouth.

I’ve never experienced being pulled so close by a woman, to feel soft, voluptuous breasts pressing against mine, lips as soft as mine pushing against my mouth, a female tongue parting my lips to touch my tongue. I’ve never had the soft hands of a woman pull me close and pull tightly on my soft butt cheeks. I’m not reciprocating the touches, but my body likes this feeling. Then again, I see my mother’s face looking at me with a mean expression and telling me that I’m sinning by lusting. She’s saying that I am committing a double sin by having a same-sex sexual experience and liking the tingling, electrifying feeling through my body. “Sin, sin, sin!” I hear my mother say.

I watched the women the other night when I was here with Kye. The females enjoyed the same things that are being done to me now. I’m hot and I’m curious how it will feel to be with another women. I’ve got a man wanting me over there and I’ve got several women wanting me on the dance floor. How much more important and popular can I feel than at this moment? I’m riding on cloud nine!

The music changes to a slow beat. It’s like I’m mesmerized by a tall and attractive woman. She approaches and looks into my eyes. She takes the pin from my hair and it tumbles down my back. She holds the small of my back with one hand and caresses my hair. My head rolls back with each stroke of her hands. My eyes roll back in my head as she pulls me closer and closer. I feel her soft breasts pressed against my softness. I feel a longing for her. My panties moisten. I feel her as she licks her lips and come close to my mouth. I hear Alastair and the crowd screaming out for us to do it and suddenly I snap back into reality. I shake my head and turn away. I turn down several invitations to slow dance. I rush to the bar. I ask Mick for my briefcase and purse and I rush out the door. I can hear Alastair calling my name. Women repeat my name from hearing it from Alastair. I hail a cab and get in before any of them could catch up with me. I can hear Alastair screaming.

“Miranda, please call me! I leave the country in two weeks!”

* * * *

The cab pulls away. I remember the envelope that was placed on my chair back at the office. I open my briefcase to find the envelope. It looks like an invitation. There is a fancy formal invitation enclosed inside with gold trimming. There is also a personal note from Kye inside.

Hi Miranda,

I know things have been moving fast and I’ve taken you places you may never have gone on your own. I'm sorry if it seems that I am pushing you into beliefs you want no part of. You have your own opinion. Sure, my girls and I are huge activists, but you have the right to choose if you want to pursue this gay rights appeal or not.

Anyway, I want you to let loose and have as much fun as I do. Please come to Edgar’s mansion and have fun with us tonight. Remember the millionaire with the mansion? Well, he will throw parties each Friday night for the remainder of this month. Will you come? I hope to see you there.

Your friend, Kye.

“Driver, can you wait for me to change clothes? I need to go somewhere else after I get to my house.”

“Can do,” the driver responds.

I give the driver the invitation. It’s very difficult to read Kye’s letter and invitation after drinking so many shots, so I leave it up to the driver to read the address.

“Lady, do you realize that this is like a forty minute drive from here?”

“No, I didn't know, but maybe I can sleep the whole way?”

“Yeah, you can Ms. Smarty Pants. But, in case you do not know, this is a ritzy neighborhood you are visiting. I see you like the ladies. Maybe they will help you pay taxi fare.”

I don’t bother to respond to the mouthy driver. I take a quick shower, change my clothes, do my hair, put on makeup, and rush to the car. The driver complains a little about how long I took, but it was okay since the meter was running. I close my eyes to sleep the duration of the ride. I am so out of it from alcohol that I don't hear the driver calling to wake me up as he drives into the driveway of the mansion. I missed the approach, landmarks, community views, and neighboring houses. The driver opens the door to let me out. I open my hand-held mirror with built-in light so that I can adjust my hair and makeup.

This event is so upscale that they have valet parking. I see couples pulling up in expensive cars like Bentleys and Lamborghinis. The attendants give the drivers claim numbers then hop into the cars. They zip away from the circled pavement in front of the mansion to some unknown parking zones. I’m sure the attendants make believe for one night that they own each expensive car they drive.

I pay the driver. He leaves me with, ''Have fun!'' and winks at me. I’m sure it he had some inappropriate notion in his head about me being lesbian because I am attending this event. It’s so easy for people to assume things.

* * * *

I marvel at the luxurious house as I walk up the lighted walkway. I have to show my invitation in order to walk through the expensive and massive front doors. I look around at the breathtaking surroundings as I am being led into a huge crowd of ladies chattering and the sound of music playing in the background. I look around for Kye and the girls, but I don't see them. I am offered various drinks by tall beautiful waitresses, but I refuse. I had too much to drink already. I can’t wait to find Kye and tell her about my experience at the Eagle. I want her to know that I am now convinced that opening up to a carefree life like Kye and her friends has been rewarding. I became popular in one night just by letting loose and being free. I don’t know if Kye and her friends are lesbian. Just being around them, the free spirited people at the Eagle, and then the gay pride festival has changed my life for sure.

I pause when I hear an announcement. Everyone goes to the stage. I’m eager to hear what is about to be presented. A man appears and grabs the microphone from the stand and starts to speak. I gather that he is Edgar, the millionaire owner of the house. I look around while the crowd is still. I try to see if I recognize anyone, but I'm unsuccessful. So, I listen to what the young millionaire has to say.

“Hello everyone. I welcome you to my humble abode. I’m so glad to see so many people here. Although you've never let me down before, so I guess this proves I must throw a hell of a party.”

The crowd cheers, laughs, and claps throughout his speech.

“We gather today as we gather at many civil occasions to represent people like us, people who are placed into categories. Categories which try to prompt us toward hate and shame when we should really be like just any other human being who walks around on two legs. You'd think we are creatures from another planet the way we get bashed and make national news. We deserve the right to marry and add our spouses to our health insurances and any other benefit we have as employees. We are no different than regular people who marry and have a family and live happily. But, we can’t walk the streets holding hands and kiss unless we are attacked by some gay basher who wants to prove that his or her beliefs are the model for everybody’s life in this country. So, we must stand firm. We must stand tall. We must get word out that we are no different except we love a person of the same sex. We want to be in a family just like anyone in a hetero relationship. We are no different! So, stand up for your rights and have fun everyone! Let the party continue.”