Lost in her own agony, she was startled by a village dog barking. She stood up and peered over the parapet to see a shadowy figure entering the courtyard. At first she was afraid, concerned it was a robber or worse, but as the figure stood in the moonlight, she recognized him. It was Shimei!
With a stifled cry of relief, she hurried down the steps to the courtyard. Shimei seemed surprised to see her at that hour of the night. Marah looked around quickly.
“Come inside the house. There is news I must tell you. I have been watching for your return.” When he hesitated, she took his arm and urged him to come quickly.
To their relief, Athaliah was sleeping soundly. They moved quietly so as not to disturb the animals below them and wake her. Marah lit a small oil lamp.
“Shimei, the shammash was here. The elders wish to speak with you when you return. I am to tell you to come to the
Bit Allah
for questioning by the elders and the high priest.”
Shimei did not seem to be startled or surprised. He sighed. “Word came to me from a friend concerning this. I have known for two days, but there were things I had to do. I thank you for what you tried to do, but it would not have worked. It is too late for that now. I must leave Shechem tonight and I cannot return.”
He knew? “But then why . . . ?” Marah whispered.
“Why did I return?” Shimei pulled a rolled parchment from his cloak. “We are betrothed, Marah, under the Levirate law you are as my wife, and the only way you can be free of me is . . . a bill of divorcement.” Seeing the shock on her face, he tucked the parchment on a ledge and put his hand on her shoulder.
“You are divorcing me?” Marah stared at him, bewildered.
“It is best. The truth is known and I am in danger of stoning. You should be free to have a better life, Marah, to marry a man who can give you children . . . who can make you happy. I cannot be such a man, in spite of my mother’s wishes. You will also be free of the Levirate law to marry a kinsman. It was the only way.”
He had thought of everything. Marah nodded dumbly, her mind reeling with the shock and anguish over the terrible import of his words.
Shimei glanced over at Athaliah who was now snoring softly. His face softened for a moment. He turned back to Marah. Taking out a small pouch, he placed it in her hands. It was heavy with coins. “Listen carefully, Marah, I haven’t much time. Even the shadows have eyes in the night. There are things you must know.” He spoke in an urgent whisper. “Will you take care of my mother?”
Marah nodded. She was fond of the old woman and knew she couldn’t leave her alone in her present state of mind. Then she also feared Athaliah’s reaction when she found out what Shimei had done. Yet if she was divorced . . . ?
Shimei continued, “This is a portion of the money from the sale of the sandal shop to a man in the next village.” He shrugged sheepishly. “I have no wish to make sandals.”
Marah smiled ruefully at this.
“The man who bought the shop is coming with his family as soon as he is able. The house is Athaliah’s with the bill of divorcement, but you do not have to show that to the elders yet.” He had known what she was thinking. “When the time comes, go to your friend. She will know what to do. I have spoken to her.”
Marah marveled at Shimei’s resourcefulness. He had spoken to Hannah.
Shimei continued in an urgent whisper, “I have sent for a kinswoman, who will take care of my mother. I do not know how long it will take for her to come. As you are no longer my betrothed, you cannot remain after she comes. It is better this way. You understand what I have done?”
Marah nodded again. “I understand, Shimei. I . . . am sorry it turned out this way.” She felt like she had lived a lifetime in the last few months.
She looked at the strange man before her, at the sharp nose and sallow face. He had aged also in the last few months. His long arms hung down at his sides.
Shimei turned and watched Athaliah quietly. “She will not be sorry I have gone,” he murmured almost to himself. “I wonder if there was a time she ever really knew I was here.”
“Let me get you something for your journey,” Marah whispered, as he turned to go.
She sought to do something for him, before he was gone from them forever. She quickly and quietly gathered up some cheese and what was left of the day’s bread. She gathered some dates and a pomegranate. Wrapping them in a cloth, she gave them to him.
“May God be merciful to you, Shimei,” she said softly.
“And you, Marah.” He patted her shoulder awkwardly, and slipped out into the night.
Marah stood still for a long moment after he had gone. She was still reeling from the import of what Shimei had done. Perhaps it was best, considering the circumstances. She looked up at the small scroll of parchment on the ledge—a bill of divorcement. She dreaded facing the women of the village. Then there was Athaliah. What would happen when she broke the news to her mother-in-law? Slowly she reached for the scroll and unrolled it, looking at the strange marks that had been written. She did not understand them. She must take Shimei’s word for what it said. Then she rolled up the scroll and placed it back up on the ledge, time enough to deal with that in the morning. She put the small bag of coins under her pallet and turned to lie down. With a start she looked at her mother-in-law. Athaliah’s eyes were open and staring at her. A shudder passed through Marah as though the face of a stranger confronted her.
“Has Zibeon returned?” Athaliah quavered.
13
M
arah awoke early and felt as though she hardly slept at all. She had comforted Athaliah and told her that Zibeon would return. When at last her mother-in-law began to snore softly again, Marah sank to her pallet in exhausted sleep filled with strange dreams. She was running across the desert, stumbling in the deep sand, pursued by dark clouds like faceless hunters in great, swirling black robes who mocked her as she ran. Her feet were like lead as she struggled on, weeping. Then the swirling black clouds disappeared and the sky cleared. She stood alone, waiting for something. Suddenly the stranger from her previous dreams appeared before her. There were no words, yet she felt no more fear, only peace. At that moment she awoke.
As her eyes traveled slowly around the familiar room, she saw the small scroll on the ledge. What would she do if Athaliah awoke and also saw the scroll? Her small, bright eyes missed nothing, even in her madness. As Marah started to rise to get the scroll, she heard Athaliah’s voice.
“Good. You are awake early. We have much to do today, Daughter. My son returns soon and there are preparations to be made.”
Marah sighed inwardly. Athaliah was herself this morning, or so it appeared. It was going to be a difficult day. How long could she pretend she did not know about Shimei? When a reasonable time had passed, she knew the shammash would return. She could not lie to the shammash, for she knew he would know. He would see the fear on her face. How could she hide it? She did not look up at the scroll for fear Athaliah would follow her eyes and see it too.
As the day progressed Marah could not help glancing from time to time toward the entrance to the courtyard. She did not realize how many times until Athaliah patted her on the shoulder.
“You are anxious for my son’s return also, Daughter. That is a good sign. All will be well, you will see.” Athaliah nodded her head, smiling to herself.
Athaliah began to tick off on her fingers the various things they would need. “Shimei can bring more wine. He always knows what to get. We will need to prepare the raisin and date cakes. Now where is Shimei? He is never here when I need him. There is so much to do. Ah . . . it will be a feast to remember.”
Marah felt the hair on the nape of her neck rise. She looked at Athaliah closely. Where were Athaliah’s thoughts now? She nodded dumbly as she went on sweeping the courtyard. How could she let Athaliah do all those things in preparation? It would only make things worse when word of Shimei’s desertion was known. If the shammash came again, he might reveal that Shimei had gone. It was said that the high priest had spies everywhere.
Over and over she turned the thoughts in her mind as one would turn over shells along the shore of the sea, examining each one carefully and discarding it. She felt the scroll was safe. It was still on the ledge and Athaliah had not seen it. When her mother-in-law was busy letting the animals out, Marah had pushed the small scroll back farther on the shelf so it was concealed by the shadows.
While she worked, Marah sought for some way to gently tell Athaliah what Shimei had done.
There is no gentle way to tell her
, Marah reasoned,
no matter how I say it
. What kind of a reaction would Athaliah have? Would it push her over into the world of madness forever? She must do as she had promised Shimei, but there was no way to make it easy.
Oh Yahweh
,
God Who Sees Me
, she prayed silently,
help me
.
Athaliah watched her move about the small house, setting out bread and fruit for their morning meal. Marah poured goat’s milk from the stone jar that was kept in the corner of the house where it was hidden from the heat of the day. Athaliah was silent, waiting.
“You did not sleep well, Daughter?” she finally inquired.
“No, Mother-in-law,” Marah confessed slowly, “there were many things on my mind.”
“What things? Have you had word from Shimei on his return?” The enemy attacked head-on. Today Athaliah seemed in her right mind and was inquiring about Shimei! There was no way out left for Marah.
“Yes, Mother-in-law, I . . . have heard from Shimei. It is not ... good news.” She took a deep breath. “He has gone.”
“Of course he has gone, child. He shall return soon and you will be married.” Athaliah patted her hand.
“He . . . he has gone . . . forever.” Marah held her breath, watching Athaliah’s face.
“Gone forever?” Athaliah clutched at her arm, a puzzled look on her face. “He is not dead?”
“No. He is not dead. He has sold the sandal shop to a man in the next village.”
“Sold the sandal shop? But why? He will need a trade. It was good enough for my husband and his brother. Why is it not good enough for Shimei?” Athaliah stamped her foot in consternation.
“Because he has gone away.” This was going to be difficult. Did Athaliah understand? “The man who bought the sandal shop is coming here to live with his family.”
“Here to this house?”
“No, here to the village.”
“I do not understand. Why would Shimei do this?” Athaliah began to wring her hands. “Where is Shimei? Where is he?”
“He has gone. He will not be coming back. There will be no marriage. He . . . he had to go away . . . forever.”
The old woman’s face crumbled and her whole body sagged. Marah reached out and put her hand gently on Athaliah’s arm. “I am sorry. I did not know until last night. He could not marry me.”
An anguished cry wrenched itself from Athaliah’s being, and she fell to her knees, rocking back and forth, keening, “The shame of it, how could he do this?” over and over.
Marah tried to quiet her cries and, dropping to her knees, put her arms around her mother-in-law.
Suddenly Athaliah stopped her moaning and her voice was low and heavy with anguish. “Always he has mocked the law. Because he was my son, I sought to protect him.” Athaliah’s eyes became bright pools in her wrinkled face. “Now he must answer to God. I can protect him no longer.” She began to weep softly, letting the tears fall on her hands. Then she looked up, and Marah saw again the face of a stranger and shuddered.
Athaliah’s eyes narrowed and her tone of voice took on the strange crooning of her madness. “We will find a kinsman, Daughter. We will find a husband for you and I shall have my grandchild. Zibeon might return any day now. He would not run away as Shimei has done. He will return soon.”
Seeing that Athaliah was past reason at the moment, Marah nodded silently in her agony. What was she to do now?
Lahai Roi
. . .
God Who Sees Me
,
show me what to do.
Just then Marah heard young Dibri calling her from the courtyard. He had come to gather their few sheep to take to the shepherd. Quickly she opened the lower door of the house and let the sheep move out. She thought of the boy’s soft voice calling the sheep and their trust in him as they followed him out of the courtyard. Her father’s words, “Does the God of the whole earth not know His way?” came back to her mind. Once again she was comforted. God knew her way. Her life was in His hands. She turned back to Athaliah who sat motionless, staring vacantly ahead of her. From time to time a tear slipped down her wrinkled cheeks. The depth of Athaliah’s pain nearly broke Marah’s heart. There was no way Marah could shield her from the loss and the shame of what Shimei had done. There would be no grandchild now and both of her sons were gone, one through death, and the other by desertion.
Her own pain was mingled with fear as she thought of the events of the past days and sought for answers. She watched the gateway, expecting the shammash and the elders to return at any moment. Did they also know about the bill of divorcement? If they came, would she have to leave? Shimei had said to go to her friend. How she longed to talk with Hannah! Just then a neighbor’s child passed the gate. On impulse, Marah ran to catch him.