Joyful (20 page)

To her surprise, it was Bud who started the conversation. “Miguel stopped me on the way to my car and asked me to stop seeing you.”

“How did he even know we were seeing each other?”

“I told him.”

“What?”

“Pippa, I wanted everything to be out in the open.”

She understood that. Kind of. But bringing Miguel to her restaurant? “If you had called, I would have asked you not to bring him.”

“I decided to take a risk.”

“I'm sitting right here, you know,” Miguel said.

She exhaled. “We are divorced. You can no longer tell me what or what not to do.”

“But that doesn't mean I want to see my friend and you together.”

She felt helpless. “What do you want me to say, Bud?”

“Not a thing. Actually, all I want you to do is listen to what I'm about to tell Miguel.” Before Miguel could interrupt, Bud continued, his voice firm. “It's like this,” he said. “For years, we've known each other and have been good friends. You met Pippa first. And because of that, I stayed to one side when you asked her out. But I knew even back then that I liked her.”

Pippa was floored. “You did?”

He cast an embarrassed smile her way. “I did.”

“I never knew.”

“I couldn't let you know. You were with Miguel.”

“That's right,” Miguel interjected. “She was mine.” He glared at her. “Don't you even start pretending that you didn't love me. We said vows.”

“I did love you. But even back then I wasn't sure.” She couldn't even believe she was admitting this now! “But, Miguel, it had to be as obvious to you as it was to me that things weren't progressing like they should. Instead of becoming closer when we got married, we drifted apart.”

“You were always working.”

“And you were always with your friends.”

“And Bud was one of them.”

“I wasn't married to her. You can't blame me for your actions.”

All of this talking was well and good, but she sure wasn't eager to rehash everything that had already been said a dozen times. “Are we done?”

Bud shook his head. “Just give me a sec,” he said gently. “Miguel, I'm telling you now that I intend to keep seeing Pippa as long as she'll have me. You are going to need to learn to accept that.”

“And if I don't?”

“Then I'll move, and we won't be friends anymore.”

“You'd do that, Bud?” Pippa could hardly believe what he was saying. It was beyond anything she could have imagined, certainly beyond anything she imagined anyone saying to her.

Bud looked at her directly and kept looking at her, even though Miguel was looking more furious by the second. “Yeah. I passed up my chance once before. I'm not about to pass it up again.”

Miguel surged to his feet. “I don't have to sit here and listen to this.”

Bud got to his feet, too. “You're right, you don't. But you do have to honor Pippa's choices.”

Miguel shook his head slowly. “You're asking too much of me, Bud.”

“You need to calm down.”

“I can't calm down. How did you think I was going to react? You were my friend.”

Bud stiffened. “Were?”

“If you continue to see Pippa, I want you to know that our friendship is over.”

“You're being unreasonable.”

“No, you are being a child.” He mumbled a couple of choice Spanish words under his breath—words that Pippa sincerely hoped no one else in the restaurant could understand. “I don't know what you thought was going to happen here. I have no idea how you thought I was going to react.”

And with that, he turned and walked out of the restaurant without another word.

Bud sighed as he sat down. “Well, that went well,” he said dryly.

As Pippa became aware that they'd drawn quite an audience, she pressed her hands to her face. “I can't even believe this all just happened,” she mumbled. “I was really hoping I wouldn't have to see Miguel again anytime soon.”

“Please don't be mad at me. I wanted everything out in the open.”

“I'm not mad.”

“I wouldn't blame you if you were. But it had to be done, Pippa.”

“Did it? I don't even know what to think right now. I'm not even sure if I know how I feel.” She shrugged.

“Pippa, I don't want to sneak around with you. I don't want there to be any confusion, either. I want to date you. I'm serious about you.”

Those were words she would have loved to have heard when she was young. Even two years ago, back before things with Miguel had gotten so bad, she probably would have reacted to Bud's sweet words differently than she was at the moment.

Now? She felt too cynical. Too tired. She'd learned the hard way that words were easy to say. Sometimes, it was actions that mattered.

But that was exactly what Bud had done. He'd gotten them all together, and had been willing to have her face Miguel in order for her to see just how serious he was about their relationship.

“I guess I'm feeling a little stunned, if you want to know the truth.”

Bud winced. “That wasn't quite the reaction that I was hoping for.”

“To be honest, I'm feeling a lot of things. So much, I don't even trust myself. But I'll give you this, you are full of surprises.”

To her amusement, he seemed pleased by that. “I'll take stunned. Please, just don't be too mad at me.”

She thought about it for a moment. Was she mad? It certainly seemed like she should be! But, actually, what she was feeling had a lot more to do with regrets than anger. She wished she had known about Bud being interested in her before she and Miguel had gotten so serious. She wished she had known that he would have stood up for her, placed her first in his life before now.

Correction: She wished she had believed that there were men like him before she'd made such a mess of her life.

But if there was one thing she did know, it was that she would never regret what had just happened. Not even for one minute.

“I'm not mad.”

“Will you still let me take you home?”

The question hung in the air. She wanted to grasp it, but was afraid if she moved forward she was going to want more and more.

Setting herself up to be disappointed. Or maybe, just maybe . . . she was also setting herself up to be happy.

“Let me go get my purse and tell everyone good-bye,” she said as she stood up. “Then, I'll be ready to leave with you.”

“Good. That's real good, Pippa.”

Funny, she felt the same exact way.

Hours later, after making fried chicken, a green salad, mashed potatoes, and a corn casserole for supper . . .

After joining the Beiler boys, Kaylene, and her grandmother at the table and quickly eating a generous slice of dried apple pie topped off by a too-big scoop of vanilla ice cream . . .

And after laughing with Levi at the sink while he helped her with the dishes, and chiding Neil for sneaking another slice of pie . . .

Elizabeth collapsed on the couch in the hearth room. Glad they kept such a casual house, she propped her feet on the coffee table and silently vowed to herself that she wouldn't move until it was time to get ready for bed.

When Micah walked by, a textbook and spiral notebook in his hands, he smiled. “You look comfortable.”

“I am. Ah, you don't mind my feet on the table, do you?”

“You know how we live. Do you think we'd ever mind that?”

She laughed. “That's why I went ahead and did it.”

“If you keep making supper like you did tonight, you can do pretty much whatever you want.”

“I won't tell Randall you said that.”

He grinned. “
Gut
. I need to do a little reading. Do you mind some company?”

“I don't mind. But it is your
haus
, Micah. You don't need to ask me.”

Micah tilted his head. “You know what? I was just thinking about that.”

“Oh?”

He tossed his books on the coffee table and plopped down on the big leather recliner across from her. “You and Anna Mae gave us something special tonight.”

“Micah. I made fried chicken. That isn't too special.”

“We both know I'm talking about you making this big house feel like a home. It was nice.”

“
Danke
. I've already talked to Neil about this, but I really am grateful you didn't mind my grandmother coming here, too.”

“She's a lot of fun.” He paused. “I almost like her being here the most of all.”

She chuckled. “If you were trying to get a rise out of me, you made a mistake there. I happen to think she's pretty terrific myself.” Wanting the focus to be away from her, she gestured to the books. “What are you studying tonight?”

“Biology.”

“You and Kaylene! Have you been reading about the food chain?”

“I wish I was only learning about the food chain. This chapter is on photosynthesis and its effects on the global climate.”

She lifted her chin. “See that? You just went over my head.”

“Sorry. It's interesting, though. I like it, but not as much as my other class. I'm taking American history, too.”

“What are you going to do with all that learning, Micah?”

“I can't decide. Sometimes I feel like I'm meant to stay on the path I'm on. That I'm meant to go to college and get a degree. Other times, I can't help but think of one of our uncles. He's Amish, but he's also one of the smartest men I've ever met. He reads about things like I'm reading for fun.”

“When do you think you'll know?”

He shrugged. “If there's one good thing about not having parents at my age, it's that I don't have one of them telling me what to do. I figure I have all the time I need. As long as I do my part around here, you know.”

“From what I've seen, you do a lot.”

“I try.” He gazed at her then, a new light of concern in his eyes. “Elizabeth, what is going on with you and Randall? Are you two still seeing each other?”

“You know I just saw him a couple of hours ago,” she teased.

“You know what I mean. Do you want to start seeing him again?”

That felt like a loaded question, one that she couldn't give a straight answer to. All things considered, she would have rather avoided it entirely. Maybe even pushed Micah's question away.

But he was staring at her intently, as if her answer really mattered to him. “I don't know,” she hedged. “Micah, you know that your brother and I don't seem to be communicating very well these days.”

“Has he upset you?”

Because he looked like he was ready to do battle on her behalf, she shook her head. “Not at all.” She shrugged. “It's just hard not to feel like we had our chance. It wasn't meant to be.” Though she didn't believe her words, she felt like that's how Randall felt about things.

“For what it's worth, I know that he was right fond of you. Randall's not one to talk too much about his personal life, but I do know that you meant a lot to him.”

It didn't escape her notice that they were speaking about her and Randall in the past tense. The realization made her sad, but not as devastated as she used to feel. Maybe she was growing up?

Or, perhaps, she had simply learned to move on?

“Micah, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather not talk about me and Randall anymore.”

After staring at her for a few seconds, he exhaled. “Of course.” Leaning forward, he picked up his book. “I'll go in the kitchen and leave you alone.”

“Please, don't do that. It's time I went to bed. See you in the morning.”

“Yes, you will.
Gut naught
.”

As she slowly walked up the stairs and settled into what was Claire's old bedroom, Elizabeth felt a new sense of calm. At last, she'd finally turned the corner. She and her grandmother were going to stay here a few days, watch over Randall, clean and dust and cook as much as possible, and get paid a pretty penny for it.

Then they were going to return home and pretend that their quiet, empty house felt as comfortable and warm as the Beilers'. That she was glad to not be living in the middle of a bunch of noisy men who had never met a clean floor that they couldn't make dirty.

As she clutched her nightgown to her chest, Elizabeth knew if she tried really hard, she might even be able to fool herself for a while into believing it, too.

A
fter swallowing two ibuprofen tablets, Judith leaned back with a moan. “Mamm, I'm so sore and achy, I feel like I fell down a flight of stairs. I don't know what's wrong with me.”

“I do. You have the flu, Judith,” her mother replied. “And though it pains me to remind you of this, I hope you recall that I told you to get some rest two days ago when you started to look a little peaked.”

“Mamm, mothers don't get sick.”

She chuckled. “They most certainly do!”

“Well, they don't let everyone know it. I can't remember a single day when we were little that you stayed in bed all day.”

“Just because you don't remember it doesn't mean it didn't happen.”

“Still—”

“Oh, but you've become a trial! Judith Knox, if you don't lie down and get some rest, you're going to infect the rest of the family.”

Trying to breathe through a stuffy nose, Judith waved off her mother's words. “You're overreacting, Mamm.”

“I think not.” Holding up the thermometer, she said, “The evidence is right here, one hundred and two point two. You're sick.”

If she hadn't felt so achy and miserable, Judith knew she would have protested a bit more. Instead, she coughed. “How is James?”

Her mother's gaze softened. “He is
gut
. Caleb and Rebecca have him for the day. Then Gretta and Josh are going to watch him tonight.”