Jude's Salvation: This Love Series (7 page)

He places me on the bed and has me stripped down to my blue satin panties in seconds. I’m surprised when he leaves them on me. He stares at them with a slow grin before he settles his shoulders in between my thighs. I moan loudly when I feel his hot breath through the thin material. My back arches as I search for a touch. He nibbles my clit through my panties and I cry out at the pleasure racking through my body. He’s just as impatient as I am, ripping my panties from my hips he pulls my ankles up to my knees and spreads my legs. His gaze focusing on my body and I let him stare, I want him to memorize me, I want him to think of me when we are no longer together.

“
You are beautiful Eden, so fucking gorgeous,” he said before sliding his warm tongue along my thighs. My body shivers under his touch. I can’t resist running my fingers through his hair and down his shoulders. I need to touch him. He makes his way back up to my lips and kisses me so deeply, I feel as though I’ve found my forever and I’m terrified he’s going to leave me. I’m terrified that I’m going to be ripped away from him. I cling to him, wrapping my legs around his waist as he enters me. I arch towards him, his hips thrusting slow and deep. I can feel him filling me so perfectly. His kiss consuming me as he takes me into sheer ecstasy. Every muscle flexes, his body shimmering in a layer of sweat as he continues his possession of me. He moves back and flips me over, pulling me up onto all fours and takes me from behind. I cry out when he enters me again, gasping for air with each thrust. A whimper escapes my lips when he fists the back of my hair and pulls my head towards his chest. He holds me in place with his hips while his other hand comes around and slides across my neck. The pleasure mixed with this dark action thrills me. I need it. I need to feel all these emotions at once. When I am consumed by him nothing else matters. There are no memories surfacing, no one is following me, no one is lying. All that I see, feel, hear, inhale is Jude.

I can’t hold back, my body shakes as the waves of my orgasm wash through me. I fall onto my elbows while he continues fisting my hair, he releases my neck and grips my hip, pulling me back up against him. He impales me with his full, thick erection, with each thrust I tremble around him until he releases into me, shaking as his arms tighten around my waist, holding me so close I can feel his heart racing. He loosens my hair and it falls around my shoulders. He keeps himself in me as he brings us both down to the soft cool sheets. He begins rubbing circles over my shoulders, trailing with kisses as he goes. His love is intense and I don’t want it any other way ever again. My body still trembles slightly under his touch, knowing the heights he can bring me to.

“
I think I’m in too deep Eden,” he whispers and I nod. I know how he feels, the fear of the possible pain that is coming when we have to say good bye is growing inside me. He slides out of me and I feel cold suddenly. He wraps the blanket around us, turning me to face him. I roll on my side and press into his warm, muscular chest. Jude is my safe haven. He kisses my forehead and I fall into a deep sleep.  

CHAPTER SEVEN

Always Paris

Eden

Staring out the window, looking at blackness I can't help but think that I may never see Jude again. I may never kiss those sexy as sin lips or feel his hands around my waist, pulling me close to him. We may actually be over before we really had a chance to begin. I thought that maybe I rushed things between us, I may have been too quick to get into bed with him but I knew we didn't have much time. Now I wonder if I should have just walked away. I don't need this heartbreak. I suppose foolishly I was hoping it would be like my Hawaii adventure. Fun for a short while with no real feelings involved. We both knew what it was and so when we said goodbye it was easy. I left Hawaii with a grin on my face and never cared if I ever saw him again but with Jude, it isn't the same, not at all.

Looking at him this morning, lying in bed beside me after we made love again, I saw someone I knew. I saw someone I trusted. He is someone that has protected me before. He has cared for me. I don’t know why I have these feelings about him but I do. I can’t help but think we’ve met in some other time and some other place. I haven’t had another vision since that night in London but I could feel a memory looming in my mind, threatening to break free while lying there, looking into his eyes. He smiled and kissed me.

“
Don’t look so anxious Eden. Don’t try and force yourself to figure this out, let it come naturally,” he said and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was talking about my memories or us. He took my hands in his and kissed my palms.

“
I’m not letting you go, I promise. We are going to stay together, this isn’t it for us. This is too good to let go of. Promise me you’ll remember that when I’m not with you, because in those times I will be doing everything in my power to get back to you,” he said, easing the pain and the knots forming in my stomach a little.

I'm actually close to crying and never stopping. How can being without someone you just met three days ago be so heartbreakingly painful? He promised me Paris, it is that promise that is keeping me together. Angie sits beside me and wraps her arms around me.

"You fell hard didn't you Eden?" she asks, sensing my pain. It must be written all over my face. I nod, a tear sliding down my cheek.

"Is it that obvious?" I ask, knowing the answer. I wipe my tear and glance at her.

"I think you found something real, something honest and true. I really hope he doesn't hurt you Eden. I know I'm not one to talk, I break up with guys before they have the chance to touch me so deeply but I know you and this is new to you too," she says and I understand her fears.

"I don't know what happened, I was instantly attracted to him and thought maybe I could have a fling on this trip, it's been done successfully before and you just move on but I fell for him, hard like you said. He's all I think about and it hurts to miss him. I feel as though I’ve known him a lot longer than a few days," I confess with a sheepish smile. She doesn't reply, instead she wraps her arms tighter around me.

"You'll see him in Paris," she tells me and I smile at the idea. The romance of it, being in Paris with a man I love.

"I will, he promised," I tell her, almost in a whisper as I look back out the window.

I must have dozed off because I awake to Angie poking me in the stomach. The train has stopped and people are beginning to get off. I stand on wobbly legs and reach for my suitcase. Sophie leads us to an awaiting car again. I am grateful this time, my energy has waned since London. We had all agreed to staying at Sophie's favorite hotel, separate rooms for four nights then we share a room for the last night in Paris. We know we'll end up in each others rooms at some point but having our own room to sleep in will be nice and if by chance Jude finds me here, I'll have the privacy we need. Just the thought of being with Jude alone again causes my body to shiver. I miss his touch already.

Once settled in our rooms we decide to go out together for an early dinner. Sophie has chosen a place close to the hotel. It is nice to dress up and put on some makeup. Paris is a beautiful city, I can understand why Jude loves it. I wonder where he grew up, if he ever walked this sidewalk. I'm sure he must have spent time in this district. The maitre d shows us to our table. Everyone seems a little tired from the train still.

"So, what’s on the itinerary for tomorrow?" I ask, hoping to get everyone back to enjoying themselves on this trip. Sophie begins to explain the museums and galleries on the schedule when I notice a man enter the restaurant, choosing a seat a few tables over from ours. He seems to be interested in us. I tell myself I'm just being paranoid again and try to ignore him.

"Mariana,  you haven’t touched your plate, spill it," Angie demands. I look up at Mariana and feel like the worst friend in the world. I've been so absorbed in my own problems that I haven't noticed Mariana falling apart. Not that Mariana not eating would be a sign that something is wrong but her quiet demeanor and the way she’s fidgeting with her napkin tells me something serious is on her mind.

"We are not leaving this restaurant until you finish everything on your plate," Angie tells her. I raise my eyebrows, knowing there is no way Mariana will eat all that.

"Now who's the mother?" Mariana scowls. I watch her take a few slow bites of her salad.

"What is it Mariana? Has something happened?" I ask her. She looks up from her plate and stares at me a moment before taking another bite which surprises me. I glance at Sophie then Angie, neither seem to know what's wrong with her. She takes a sip of water then sighs, looking back over at me. I can’t help but think I’ve done something to really upset her this time. Maybe it’s because I haven’t been around enough. I’m about to apologize but she speaks first.

"I have decided to break up with Mason when we get back. I think we need to have a cooling off period. He is planning on asking me to marry him but I’m not ready for that yet. My eyes have been opened, like you pointed out before this trip Eden. You asked me if I was in love and I couldn't answer that. After seeing the way Jude looks at you I realize that I want that too. I don't need to settle for a guy that my parents have chosen. I want to marry a guy that has truly chosen me. I want lust and love, passion and what else did you say you wanted?" she says, taking another bite of her dinner, her resolve coming through. I smile and touch the top of her hand.

"Fireworks and butterflies. There is no rush for you to get married Mariana. You are only twenty one, you have time to find true love and you will. There’s someone out there that will give you butterflies in your stomach when he looks at you and unbelievable fireworks in the bedroom," I tell her with a grin. Angie wraps her arm around Mariana’s shoulder and nods her head in agreement.

“
There is someone out there that will want to spend his life making you happy and not just the in laws or his bank account,” she says.

“
I know there is someone special out there for you, for all of us. The man you choose should consider himself lucky and worship the ground you walk on. Settling is not in your nature Mariana,” Sophie said, surprising us with her views on love. I consider questioning her on Quinn again but decide I’ll confront her later. Right now Mariana needs us.

"I’ll find him, you're right, all of you. There is no need to rush into this marriage. If I don’t love him then I won't marry him. Honestly Eden, thank you for making me open my eyes. I really want what you seem to have almost instantly found. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you look so happy, so vibrant," she said and I gulp, feeling eyes boring into me. I glance quickly towards the man that is sitting close to us. I can’t help but think he is trying to listen to our conversation. For some reason I feel as though I need to keep Jude's name silent from him. He looks familiar to me but I don't know why.

"I'm not sure what I have yet or if it will last. I am just enjoying him while I have the chance to. I don’t dare hope for more. It may break me if I do," I explain, feeling the pain of separation from him again. I finish my wine and we pay our bill. On the way out I notice that the man that I thought was watching us is gone.

"I think we'll call it an early night tonight but tomorrow will be a full day. There is a burlesque show we have tickets for tomorrow night so rest up," Sophie says when we enter the hotel. We managed to get our rooms on the same floor but not side by side. I had overheard the concierge mention that the room availability was slim, they had a full house this week. I haven’t heard from Jude all day. I left him a text, telling him my room number but he hasn't responded which makes me nervous.

Once inside my suite I run a bath. The hot water relaxes my tense muscles. Thankfully I didn't see that man from the restaurant in the hotel lobby. I was worried he might be following us. I can't shake the feeling that I've seen him before and that he wasn’t at that restaurant for pleasure. A part of me believes he was there for me. If I dared mention that to my friends they would have shipped me home in a straight jacket. Angie is already worried about my sanity. Taking a few deep breaths, I try to forget about him. I won’t be able to solve this tonight.

I look around the beautifully decorated bathroom, smelling the french soaps and sinking further into the tub. I rest my head, closing my eyes, hoping to release the tension building in my temples. Memories are attempting to break through and I can’t fight them, holding them back is becoming harder. The smell of a man's cologne and burning cigars overwhelms me. A deep voice is talking but I can't make out the words. Then a woman's scream startles me. My arms flail out of the tub, causing water to splash over the edge and onto the floor. I stand up quickly and wrap the bath towel around my shivering body tightly. Pulling up the plug, all I can do is stand there and watch the water run down the drain. That wasn't a vision, that was a real memory and for the first time since these nightmares started, I am truly frightened by what I will remember next.

I resolve to try my best not to overreact until this trip is over. I need to be in the safety of my home when it all returns. The suite is dimly lit but I manage to dress in my nightgown and robe. I pour a rather large glass of red wine and look out the window onto the busy evening sidewalk. I do love this little oasis in the city of Paris that Sophie picked out and I love having my own room. It had only been three nights but the four of us in that tiny room in London was just too close for comfort, even if I didn’t sleep there much. I like to have my space. I get claustrophobic and now with the dreams I feel like I should be alone. Maybe Jude shouldn't join me here either. I'll keep him awake or worse, terrify him. I've been thinking of sending him another text but I don't know what to say exactly. I want to see him. I want him here. I miss his smell, his touch just everything about him and I feel unsafe, almost frightened to go outside knowing he isn't here. Which is strange because I seemed to manage just fine before meeting him. I glance at my phone and feel tears well in my eyes.

"What is wrong with me?" I say aloud, falling onto the bed. Running my hands over the soft duvet, there is nothing I can do to stop the memory bubbling up to the surface, it's too strong to stuff back down. I stare up at the ceiling, hoping that if I don't close my eyes then it will go away but it's getting closer and very vivid. A young man comes into my view and I can’t resist him. He has a comforting smile, not malicious or threatening. I rest my head back down on my pillow and decide to let this one in, relieved at least that it isn't a woman named Marisa bleeding in front of me this time.

The boy looks tall, solid and muscular even. He has very short, sandy blonde hair. I can only see his side profile. I call him a boy because he looks younger then me. His chin is clean shaven, his skin tanned like he's spent the summer outside and his clothes seem to hang off him a little, as though that is the look he was going for. He reminds me of some boys from high school I used to know. Suddenly he laughs, his sound rumbles through me. I’m startled by the familiarity of it. Unable to take my eyes from him, I don’t even dare blink, I watch as he opens a bag of food. I gather it is take out and he's offering it to me. I can't see his eyes under the brim of the hat he put on. I need to see those eyes. His smile turns serious as though he's deeply concerned that I'm not taking his offering.

"You have to eat Eden. You have to survive this, please, for me at least, eat," he begs. I know his voice, I know that accent, it is too unique to go unnoticed.

“
Please, let me see your eyes,” I whisper. Just as he's about to tilt his head for me my cell phone buzzes and the memory vanishes. With shaking fingers I reach for my cell, sighing at the interruption until I see it's from Jude.

Him: I'll be at your suite soon my beautiful girl. Be waiting.

Always with the commands, he knows I'll be waiting for him. He's ruined me for all others. He has haunted my dreams and now my visions are of him. I can't not think about him. From this day forward I will always be waiting for him. Just the thought that he's almost here with me, makes me feel safer, happier and whole again. So many feelings swirl through my head when he's around. It almost seems as though he's bringing me to life. My mother and sister have always told me that I don't react enough, I don't laugh sincerely. I don't cry at sad movies. I have never fallen in love, my heart has never been broken and a kiss from a boy has never made my heart flutter. I didn't beam with excitement when I was accepted to Harvard, I just said good and shrugged like it was nothing, like I hadn't worked my ass off for the past four years of my life to get in.