Judgement Day (2 page)

No man ever really
believes they are evil, with the possible exception of someone in
the midst of psychosis. Sometimes people may believe that they have
done the wrong thing in the past, but at the time they did not
believe that it was the wrong thing to do. A man is guided by his
conscience and sense of morality, but some people have a very
twisted sense of morality. Never does an individual or group attack
or kill someone because they believe that they themselves are bad,
it is always because the other person has done something wrong,
even if this wrongdoing is not true. All of the people considered
the most evil men in history, they did not believe that they were
evil, they believed that they were perfectly justified in carrying
out their actions of death and destruction. These men all had the
knowledge of good & evil, all of these men said to themselves
“I am good, and you are evil.” Of course, if they were to set out
with the intention of doing evil, they would have just judged and
therefore condemned themselves
,
but it is only ever cartoon villains who believe that they are
evil.
Each man is capable of following his own moral
compass, but it is only when one forces, or attempts to force,
their sense of morality on to others that problems are created. For
example, being gay is not a sin, but accusing someone of wrongdoing
for being gay is a sin, and of course the accusers are always the
ones perpetrating the acts of violence. Men can only claim to have
the knowledge of good & evil, no man truly has the knowledge of
good & evil. Good & evil is an illusion perpetrated by men
who believe that they are morally superior to others. Unless you
have spoken to God Himself, you cannot possibly claim to have the
knowledge of good & evil, you have no knowledge of good &
evil. You cannot take someone’s word for it, surely if you truly
feared God then you would be terrified of believing the wrong
prophet and you would require absolute proof, not just “faith.”

This brings us to the
concept of playing God, if the knowledge of good & evil is all
about playing God, it must be said that men may play God on other
men because they feel themselves superior to others. If a sin, by
definition, is a crime against God, what do you think would be the
one thing that offends God? That’s right, playing God. The one
thing that truly offends God is people who play God on other
people. Playing God doesn’t strictly stop by saying “I am good, you
are evil,” playing God is all about using your strength to rule
over others, playing God is about forcing others to submit to your
will. Playing God is the source of all oppression in the world.
When you force others to follow your rules, when you force others
to submit to your will, this is when problems are caused.
Oppressive dictatorships, religious zealots, tyranny, these are all
the results of the strong trying to force the weak to submit to
their will. Playing God is all about using your strength to rule
over others, this is highly offensive to God.

Is smoking a sin? No.
Is drug use a sin? No. Is drink driving a sin? No. Is prostitution
a sin? No. Is theft a sin? No. Is homosexuality a sin? No. While
some things may be detrimental to a person’s wellbeing, or to the
wellbeing of others, that does not necessarily make them a sin. The
only sin is claiming to have the knowledge of good & evil, the
only sin is passing judgement, the only sin is playing God. What is
a sin but a crime against God? It would be perfectly understandable
that God would be angry with those men who play God on others.

On the subject of
theft, many would ask,
“
how could theft not be a sin?
”
Theft is a grey area, in the age of the
internet, music and video downloading, viewing copyrighted images
or literature on the internet, or even cheating on your taxes, or
maybe just hustling someone to get a better deal, and of course, is
it a sin to steal to feed your starving family? Theft is very much
a grey area, but I think that if one were to force someone to hand
over their money or goods by threatening them, by using their
strength to force them to submit to their will, then that would
constitute a sin.
Theft is not
a sin, because a sin by definition is a crime against God and theft
is a crime against men.

The Tree of Life

In the Garden of Eden
there were two special trees, the Tree of the Knowledge of Good
& Evil and the Tree of Life. After Adam & Eve ate from the
Tree of the Knowledge of Good & Evil, God said
“
The man has now become like one of
us, knowing good and evil. He must not be allowed to reach out his
hand and take also from the tree of life and eat, and live
forever.
”
Then God
banished Adam & Eve from the Garden of Eden and blocked the way
to the Tree of Life.

Genesis clearly says
that if a man eats from the Tree of Life he shall live forever. So
how does one eat from the Tree of Life?

If the story of the
Garden of Eden is to be believed, then one must also believe that
having the knowledge of good & evil would prevent one from
eating from the Tree of Life and living forever.

Jesus said “all who
sin are slaves to sin.” Only by freeing ourselves from the
knowledge of good & evil may we free ourselves from sin. Only
by freeing ourselves from sin may we eat freely from the Tree of
Life and live forever.

Jesus may have lived a
perfect life, but I don't have to. I don't even know what a perfect
life is. I am completely innocent.

Epilogue

Every day religious
leaders come up with new laws for people to obey, and new
interpretations of old laws for our changing world.
I
n the beginning there was only one
law, and the world was “very good.” For thousands of years every
religious teacher in the world has attempted to teach us what is
“good” and what is “evil,” but by denying the knowledge of good
& evil we can turn the entire question of good & evil on
its head. The world didn’t need teachers to tell us the difference
between good & evil, the world needed teachers who didn’t tell
us the difference between good & evil, then the world could
really grasp the meaning of true morality.

There is only one
problem with the world, the problem with the world has always been
the same, the knowledge of good & evil. Whether you believe the
story of Adam & Eve or not, the problem of the knowledge of
good & evil is a universal truth and it has plagued mankind
since the dawn of time. It ends now.

The rules are, there are no rules, so don't try to
force other people to play by your rules.
You have no knowledge of good & evil, you are
not like God.

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Contents

A
TALE OF MADNESS AND DISCOVERY

You are a poor
man, do not say “since I am poor I cannot seek out knowledge.”
Rather, bend your back to all discipline, and in the abundance of
your intellectual potential investigate the Mysteries of Existence.
Then you will know what is bitter for a man, and what is sweet for
a person.

[Dead Sea
Scrolls 4Q416, 418]

Foreword

When I was younger I
wanted to be
crazy, I wanted to be
unique
. I thought it would make me cool. The reality
of being crazy was very different to what I had imagined. It was
much more exciting, much more terrifying, and much tougher than I
thought.
When I first
discovered the infinite Universe I was just plain crazy, I was just
another schizophrenic Messiah. In the years that followed my body
of work became more and more impressive, until one day there was no
denying it any longer. I was indeed sent here for a purpose
,
but for what purpose? I still don’t know.
The signs point the way, but they never tell you
the destination. What I do know is that I was never meant to
fail.

This isn’
t a story about me making a bunch of shit up, this
is a true tale of madness and discovery. God took me to the edge of
the abyss, and then he pushed me over it. I was lucky to survive,
but it’s not over yet. This is only the beginning, and my journey,
our journey, may never be over. This isn’t about me, this is about
every person on the planet, I did this for you.

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In The Beginning…

I was born
Michael David Mulligan at Nepean Hospital in Kingswood (Penrith) to
Rosemary Joan Mulligan (nee Blair-Hickman) and William David
Mulligan on the 10th of March, 1981.

When I was
born and my mother saw me for the first time, she thought there was
something wrong with me, that the doctors had done something to me.
I was born with a large birthmark that covers most of my left inner
thigh. The birthmark on my thigh is unusual, not just for its size.
I have never really investigated it apart from the odd Google
search, but I have never heard of one like it. I think that
birthmark is a thin layer of skin. You can see the veins and blood
vessels underneath the surface and it
’
s quite hot, body temperature hot. I always felt
embarrassed but lucky to have that birthmark, I loved the way that
it kept my hands warm on cold nights.

My father has
schizophrenia and my parents divorced when I was very young. He
used to tell me that his father is the smartest man in the world,
he’s the second smartest man in the world, and I’m the third
smartest man in the world. Somehow I doubted that my father and his
father were the smartest men in the world, but I always knew that I
was pretty smart. He told me how Isaac Newton was the smartest man
in history, and how he discovered the theory of gravity by watching
a falling apple. He used to compare me to Isaac Newton
constantly
and say “you’re Isaac
Newton’s right arm, Mickey.” He also talked a lot about aliens. He
told me he had three alien friends, one was a kangaroo man, another
had veins wrapped around his head, the third I don’t recall, but I
used to dream of those aliens visiting me. He told me that when the
world ends they were going to come and take him, my sister Katie
and myself away and save us. He also constantly called my mum a
witch, which used to make me very uncomfortable.

The last time
I saw him as a child still haunts me. He was asking me to come and
live with him, raving on about aliens and the end of the world. I
was probably about five or six, but I wasn’t stupid. As much as I
loved him, I knew he couldn’t take care of me, provide a home, or
get me to school, so I told him I couldn’t come with him and that I
wanted to live with mum. He grabbed me just below the shoulders, at
the top of my arms and shouted at the top of his lungs, “you’re not
smart enough, Mickey!” His shouting reverberated around the street,
and I can still hear those words reverberating in my mind, “you’re
not smart enough, Mickey.” It’s the story of my life, no matter how
smart I was, I was never smart enough. He didn’t come around again,
my mum took care of Katie and myself until she remarried.

After my
parents divorced my mum dated a couple of guys,
but she
met the man who would become my
step-father, Ken Spears, at the neighbour Tom’s party. I really
liked Ken when I was little, I thought he knew everything. I used
to ask him a lot of questions, as kids do, and he always seemed to
have the answers. Mum and Ken got married when I was about ten, and
my father gave up his rights to me and Katie. Ken legally adopted
us and we changed our names to Spears. We also moved around the
corner to Ken’s place.

I was pretty
keen to change my name to Spears, I never did like the name
Mulligan. The other kids at school used to make jokes about my
name. Spears seemed like a pretty cool name to me, and lots of
people began to call me by my last name. Mum and Ken had two more
children together, my sister Sally and my brother Tom.

We all have
childhoods, but it was at university that my life really changed,
at the age of 20 I lost my mind, and I found myself.

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Chapter 1

To plead insanity one
must show

that they did not know
the difference between right and wrong.

For my life, I plead
“no knowledge of good and evil.”

My “thing” as
a teenager and as a young adult was that wherever I was, I had to
be the most wasted person there. It’s like I thought it made me
cool to be blind drunk, like the village drunkard in an early Irish
novel. There’s a saying, “beer then grass you’re on you
r arse,
grass then beer you’re in
the clear,” my method was grass then beer then grass. It wasn’t a
night out if I wasn’t violently ill. I looked up to famous drunks
and dope fiends, I loved Hunter S. Thompson, I wanted to be like
him, completely out of my mind on drugs and liquor. So cool, so
very cool… or so I thought.

After school I
entered into a degree in chemical engineering at UNSW. During
second year I started to call it “advanced index reading,” it
seemed like all we had to do was learn our way around the textbook
and the course was a piece of piss. Chemical engineering is all
about a myriad of different equations for every possible situation
in chemical plants, so because there were so many damn equations
you get to take the textbook into the exam. You look up the
equation you need, then you look up all the values you need to
substitute into those equations. All you had to do was learn where
to find everything in the textbook and you could pass the
exams.

I made it
through second year uni with no problems, then things began to
change because my best friends at uni were both studying similar
but different degrees. My friend Ben studied petroleum engineering,
while my friend Adam studied industrial chemistry, and when third
year came around we really didn’t have many classes together any
more. I spent a lot more time on my own, and I began to get a
little weird, and when the going gets weird, the weird turn
pro.