Junie B. Jones Has a Monster Under Her Bed (4 page)

“When is this
ever
going to end?” she said. “When are you
ever
going to realize that there are
no such things
as monsters?”

She did not wait for me to answer.

“
Everyone
drools on their pillow sometimes,” she said. “It doesn’t mean you’re a baby. Your mouth just opens when you’re sleeping. And you drool a little bit. It’s no big deal. And it is
not
from monsters!”

After that, she went out of her room to the kitchen. And Daddy went to get Ollie.

I crawled into her bed and counted my piggy toes.

Good news.

There was ten.

That day at kindergarten, Mrs. had a surprise for us.

It was called our school pictures were back from the cheese man.

She passed them out to us.

Lucille got hers first.

My eyes popped out at those things!

“Lucille! Look how gorgeous they are! They are the gorgeosest pictures I ever saw!” I said.

Lucille fluffed her fluffy dress.

“I know it. I know they are gorgeous. That’s just how I look, Junie B. I can’t even help it.”

After that, Lucille stood up at the table.
And she held up her pictures for everyone to see.

Mrs. said
sit down
to her.

Just then, Mrs. bended down next to me. And she smoothed my hair.

“Junie B., honey? You might want to have
your
pictures taken again,” she said kind of quiet.

Then she handed me my envelope
real secret. So nobody could see.

I sneaked a peek at those things.

My stomach felt sickish inside.

“I look like I smelled stink,” I said.

I quick tried to hide my pictures. But Lucille grabbed them away from me.

“Eeew! Gross!” she said. “Junie B. looks gross!”

I tried to grab them back.

“YEAH, ONLY THESE ARE NOT EVEN YOUR BEESWAX, MADAM!” I yelled very mad.

Only too bad for me. ’Cause lots of other kids already saw them. And they laughed and laughed at those things.

Finally I grabbed the pictures back. And I hided them in my coat.

I didn’t talk to Room Nine for the whole rest of the day.

After I got home from school, I sat on my bed. And I looked at my pictures.

“I hate these ugly, dumb things!” I said very furious. “These are the ugliest dumb pictures I ever even saw!”

I leaned over the edge and holded a picture down there.

“See this? See this, you stupid monster? This picture is just as scary as you! And so maybe I might put it right under my bed!
And it will scare your whole entire pants off!”

Just then, I sat up very straight.

’Cause that might be a good idea I just thought of!

I quick found my scissors.

Then I cut my school pictures apart from each other. And I shoved them right under my bed.

“I am not even afraid of you, you dumb monster! ’Cause these ugly pictures can bite your head off!”

Just then, I heard Mother come home from work.

“Mother! Mother! My pictures came! My pictures came!” I hollered very thrilled.

She hurried up to my room.

I pointed under my bed.

“See them, Mother? See my school pictures?
I spread them out under there.”

Mother looked curious at me.

She bended down and picked up a picture.

Her mouth did a gasp.

“Oh my,” she whispered.

I clapped and clapped.

“I know they are
oh my!
That is why I put them under my bed! Get it, Mother? Get it? Now my scary face will be down there all the time! And so that monster already got scared away, I bet!”

All of a sudden, Mother started to laugh.

Then I started to laugh, too.

Plus here’s another happy thing. ’Cause this morning there was more drool on my pillow.

Only I am not that worried.

’Cause it was from Raggedy Ruth, I bet.

Or else maybe it was from Philip Johnny Bob.

Or maybe it was even from me.

But that does not mean I’m a baby.

’Cause
everybody
drools on their pillow once in a while!

My very own mother told me that.

And she would not even lie to me…

probably.