Junie B. Jones Is Not a Crook (2 page)

I jumped up.

“Start again, Grace! Say your name again! Say that you are Yellowie!”

That Grace looked curious at me.

“I’m Yellowie,” she said.

I pointed to Lucille.

“I’m Blackie,” she said next.

I spinned around real joyful.

“I’M BROWNIE!” I shouted. “ONLY GUESS WHAT? YESTERDAY MY GRAMPA BROWNIE BOUGHT ME BLACK FURRY MITTENS! AND SO
THAT IS HOW COME I AM TWO DIFFERENT COLORS, APPARENTLY!”

After that, all of us did high fives. And we started playing horses.

We galloped. And trotted. And snorted. And snuffled.

Only too bad for me. ’Cause the sun kept on beating down on my horse head. And I got drippity inside my attractive winter jacket.

“I am going to die from heat perspiration,” I said.

That’s how come I trotted over to a tree. And I took off all my stuff.

First I took off my attractive winter jacket. Then I took off my furry black mittens. And I piled them in a careful pile.

After that, I galloped away to find my horse friends. And we played and played.

Pretty soon, Mrs. blew her loud whistle.

That means the end of recess.

“COMING!” shouted Yellowie.

“COMING!” shouted Blackie.

“COMING!” I shouted.

Then I hurried up back to the tree to get my stuff.

Only guess what?

I saw something very terrible there, that’s what!

And it’s called
HEY!!! SOMEBODY STOLED MY MITTENS!!!!!

I runned all around the tree.

“911! 911! 911!” I hollered. “SOMEBODY STOLED THEM! SOMEBODY STOLED MY MITTENS!”

Mrs. came very quick.

“THEY STOLED THEM! THEY STOLED MY MITTENS! 911!” I shouted some more.

Mrs. bended down next to me. “
Who
, Junie B.? Who stole them?” she asked.

“A stealer, that’s who! A stealer stoled them! And so what kind of school is this? ’Cause I didn’t even know there was crooks at this place!”

Mrs. said calm down my voice.

“Yeah, only I can’t even calm it down that good. ’Cause I am heartsick, that’s why.”

Heartsick
is the grown-up word for when your heart is sick.

I looked at the ground real sad. “Now all I have left is my dumb attractive jacket.”

Mrs. picked it up. Then she holded my hand. And me and her started to walk.

“You and I are going to the office,” she told me.

I quick tried to get my hand away from her.

“No, Mrs.! I’m not allowed to go there!
Mother said if I get sended to the office one more time, I will get
grounded, young lady.”

Tears came in my eyes.

“Grounded, young lady
, is when I have to stay on my own ground,” I said. “Plus also I can go on the rug.”

Mrs. smiled. “I’m not taking you to the principal’s office to
punish
you, Junie B.,” she said. “I’m taking you to find your mittens.”

I did a gasp.

“Principal?” I asked very shocked. “Principal stoled my mittens?”

Mrs. laughed real loud.

“No, Junie B. He didn’t steal your mittens. The office is where the Lost and Found is located.”

After that, she took my hand again. And we hurried up to the office.

There is a grouchy typing lady at that place.

I am not fond of her.

“Junie B. needs to look through the Lost and Found,” Mrs. told her. “Please send her back to class when she’s finished.”

Then Mrs. went back to Room Nine and left me there all by myself.

The typing lady looked over the counter at me.

I did a gulp.

“Yeah, only I’m not even bad today,” I explained very nervous. “Somebody stoled my mittens. And that is the end of my tale.”

The typing lady kept on looking at me. She didn’t say any words.

Sweat came on my head.

“Whew…it’s warmish in here, isn’t it?” I said.

Just then, I heard a door open.

It was Principal!

He was coming out of his office!

I jumped up and down at his sight. ’Cause I know that guy very good!

“Principal! Look! Look! It’s me! It’s Junie B. Jones! My mittens got stoled on the playground! And so Mrs. brought me here to get them! So just hand them over and I will be on my way…no questions asked.”

Principal looked funny at me. Then he went to the closet and pulled out a big box.

“This is the Lost and Found, Junie B.,” he explained. “Anytime that someone finds something that’s been lost, they bring it here. And we put it in this box.”

“How come?” I asked. “How come they bring it here instead of taking it home? ’Cause one time I found a nickel in the
street. And Daddy said I could put it in my bank. ’Cause
finding
isn’t the same thing as
stealing
. Right, Principal? Finding is a
lucky duck.”

Principal laughed a little bit.

“Well, finding a nickel in the street is different, Junie B.,” he said. “For one thing, it would be almost impossible to discover who the owner of the nickel really was. And for another thing, losing a nickel isn’t really a big deal. But when someone loses something
personal
—like mittens, for instance—well, that’s a
very
big deal. And so if someone else
finds
the mittens, they can bring them to the Lost and Found, and the owner can get them back.”

He smiled.

“And that makes everyone happy, Junie B.,” he said. “The owner is happy because
she has her mittens back. And the person who found them is happy because she’s done a good deed.”

He pointed to a piece of paper taped on the box.

“See this? This is a poem the third grade wrote about the Lost and Found. It says:

I did a frown.

“Yeah, only here’s the problem. I didn’t
lose
my mittens. They got stoled on
purpose
. And so no one will bring them in and wear a grin, probably.”

Principal raised up his eyebrows. “Well,
you never know, Junie B. Why don’t you look in there and see?”

He opened up the box for me.

That’s when my eyes got big and wide.

’Cause it was filled with the wonderfulest items I ever saw!

There were sweaters! And sweatshirts! And baseball caps! And gloves! And balls! And a lunchbox! And a scarf! And sunglasses! And a watch with Mickey Mouse on it!

Also, there was a backpack that looked like a teddy bear!

“OOOOH! I ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THESE!” I hollered real thrilled.

I put it on my back and skipped around the office.

“How does it look back there?” I asked.

Principal runned after me.

He took the teddy off my back. And put it back in the box.

“We’re looking for your
mittens
, remember?”

Just then, I felt upset again. ’Cause I almost forgot about those furry guys, that’s why.

“Oh, yeah… my mittens,” I said real glum.

I looked through the box some more.

“They’re not here,” I said. “My mittens are gone forever and ever, I think.”

I did a sad sigh.

Then I picked up the teddy backpack again.

“Maybe I will take
this
instead,” I said. “’Cause this teddy backpack will ease my pain, I believe.”

Principal said no.

“How come?” I asked. “’Cause the owner doesn’t even want it anymore, I bet. Her mother already bought her a new teddy backpack, probably. And so this one is just going to go to waste.”

Principal stood me up and turned me to the door.

That meant I am leaving, I think.

“Come back tomorrow and look for your mittens again,” he said.

I talked real fast.

“Yeah, only I just remembered something. I used to have a teddy backpack just like that one, maybe. Only then I lost it, probably. And so I better take that one home with me. Or else my mother might be mad.”

Principal walked me to the door. He faced me down the hall.

“Good-bye, Junie B.,” he said.

I hanged my head real disappointed,

’Cause guess why?

Good-bye means
no teddy backpack
.

Room Nine is way far from Principal’s office.

I had to stop at the water fountain. Or else I might not make it.

I pressed the water button with my thumb.

Then I puckered up my lips. And I sucked the water in.

I didn’t even put my mouth on the spout. ’Cause there’s lip dirt on that thing of course.

I sloshed the water all around in my cheeks.

Then I bended my head way back. And I did some gargles.

I can gargle very perfect. Except I can’t keep the water in my actual mouth.

It runned out the sides and dribbled on the floor.

I splashed in it with my toe.

That’s when I saw something very wonderful down there.

“Hey! It’s one of those pens that writes four different colors!” I said.

I quick picked it up and pushed the little red button on the top.

A red pen popped out the bottom.

I scribbled red scribble all over my hand.

“Wowie wow wow! I
love
this thing!” I said.

After that, I pushed the green button and scribbled green scribble. And I pushed the blue button and scribbled blue scribble. Plus
also I pushed the black button and scribbled black scribble.

“This pen makes scribbling a pleasure,” I said.

I put it in my pocket and started skipping to Room Nine.

Only too bad for me. ’Cause all of a sudden, I remembered about the Lost and Found.

I stopped.

“Oh no. I wish I didn’t even remember about that,” I said. “Now I have to take my pen to the Lost and Found. Or else I won’t wear a grin.”

I did a frown. ’Cause something didn’t make sense here, that’s why.

“Yeah, only I was already
wearing
a grin,” I said. “I weared a grin as soon as I
saw
this wonderful thing. And so taking it
to the office will only make me sad.”

I tapped on my chin.

“Hmm. Maybe Principal is a little mixed up about this,” I said to just myself. “I’m pretty sure I will be happier if I keep it.

“And here’s another thing I am thinking. I am thinking whoever owned this pen didn’t even take good care of it. So I will give it a good home. And so what can be a gooder deed than that?”

I took it out of my pocket and looked at it.

“Plus this even makes sense. ’Cause first I got my mittens stolen. And then I couldn’t have the teddy backpack. And so keeping this pen is fair and square.”

All of a sudden, my whole face lighted up. ’Cause I just thought of a
different
poem, that’s why!

And it is called
Finders keepers, losers weepers!

“Finders keepers, losers weepers!” I said real thrilled. “Finders keepers, losers weepers!”

Then I jumped up and down very happy. ’Cause everybody says that! And so
Finders keepers
is really the rule, I bet!

After that, I put my pen back in my pocket.