Junk (9 page)

No. There was no way Lewis was going to have sex with Jasper on a bed like that. And they couldn’t do it at Lewis’s parents’. And besides, he definitely shouldn’t be thinking about shagging a client. Especially a screwed-up, hot client with an adorable nervous tic.

Maybe he should just go to the pub. Reconnect with some old friends. And until then, he’d lose himself in the homework questionnaires Jasper had filled out for him. Yes. That was bound to help him forget all about the man.

Lewis sighed and scrubbed at his forehead with his fists.

“So, do we have a full-blown case of OCD on our hands?” Carroll asked when Lewis called her as he stepped down from the bus.

“I don’t think so, no. He doesn’t seem to have any rituals that I can see. He even let me pick up a book, although I wasn’t allowed to move it.”

“You sure? He seemed pretty twitchy to me.”

“Plenty of people get twitchy when they’re nervous.”

“Yeah, I suppose…”

“What is it? Come on, sis. I know that tone.”

“Have you thought about which of us should handle the case?”

“Definitely me. He trusts me now, and he’s got some serious attachment issues with his hoard.”

“You sure?” Carroll asked, but Lewis could hear the relief in her voice. “You’ve got more clients than I have at the moment.”

“I can fit him in okay, and we’ll need your help when he gets stuck into serious clearing.” Lewis pictured the narrow corridors through walls of paper. “It’s the most extreme case I’ve ever seen in terms of quantity of stuff. He’s filled his house. We’ll probably have to hire a storage unit and move it all there temporarily so he can begin sorting through it all.”

“Wow. Haven’t had to do that in a while. Right. I’ll get looking for somewhere nearby. And maybe a removal van. Won’t hurt to have it all set up for him when he’s ready, will it?”

Lewis chuckled. Carroll was such a whirlwind at times. It was just what some clients needed, although he felt Jasper would be better off with his more gentle approach. “Okay, but it could be a couple of months before he’s ready to get rid of anything. I’m going to be working on his acquiring habits first. He can’t seem to resist picking up old books and newspapers.”

“Bit of a problem for someone who works in a library.”

“Exactly.”

“So, you still finding him just as sexy after seeing his house? His bedroom?”

“I’m not getting involved with a client.”

“Don’t remember suggesting it, bro. Just wanted to know if it was off-putting for an anal retentive like you.”

“I’m not anal about mess.”

Carroll just snorted. “What was his bedroom like? Oh, go on. You know I’m not going to tell anyone else.”

He was about to inform her it was confidential, but they always shared this kind of stuff, didn’t they? Yes, best not to start thinking of Jasper as in any way different than one of the other clients. “His bedroom was like the rest of the house. Piles of books surrounding the bed on all sides. It’s a total death trap.”

“Not somewhere you’d want to have wild monkey sex, then. If he wasn’t a client.”

“Carroll!”

“Take a chill pill, for fuck’s sake. I’m talking hypothetically. God forbid I suggest you do anything normal like shag someone you fancy.”

Lewis took a deep breath, glad to have reached home and have a good excuse to ring off. “No, that whole house is a health-and-safety hazard. I wouldn’t want to have sex anywhere in it, hypothetically speaking.”

“Gotcha. You’ll just have to sneak him into Mum and Dad’s when they’re out. That’s what I used to do with all my boyfriends when I was still living at home. Not that Mum and Dad would have minded, but I didn’t want the boys all getting scared off by them in their birthday suits. Still, who knows. Maybe Jasper would find it a turn-on. D’you think he’s kinky? The quiet ones often are.”

“I’m not listening to you anymore.” Lewis hung up and unlocked the front door. Time for a soak in the bath, then a night out with people who had no idea Jasper Richardson even existed.

An hour later, Lewis boarded the night bus into central Bristol. When he’d called Brandon earlier, his old university friend had sounded pleased to hear from him again, and Lewis’s conscience twinged. Yes, he’d probably neglected Brandon while seeing Carlos, but then again, Brandon had been equally wrapped up in his Dutch boyfriend, along with his interminable urge to save the world via the medium of tea and biscuits with other right-on Bristolians.

They were meeting in the Spyglass—some new place down on the waterfront by Millennium Square that apparently stocked a good range of continental beer. However, he could see from the outside that the owners had apparently forgotten to create any atmosphere while they were planning the interior. Instead, they’d decided the high ceilings and wall of windows would be best teamed up with purple-and-green lighting, and blocky, blond wood tables. Just like every other supposedly trendy bar in town.

Lewis scanned the crowded tables. The two of them shouldn’t be too hard to spot, what with Brandon’s afro and Jos being a blond giant, but the sultry evening meant the place really was packed, even at eight thirty. Eventually, he saw them waving at him from an outdoor table, so he headed on over.

“Great to see you both,” Lewis said, hugging first Brandon, then Jos. The tall Dutchman practically crushed the life out of him, and not for the first time Lewis found himself wishing for a few pounds of extra muscle.

“About time too,” Brandon scolded, but there was a warm lilt to his voice. “Jos, would you mind getting the next round in? Some of that lovely Trappist beer we had last time, yeah?”

Jos left after giving Brandon a peck on the cheek, and Lewis took a moment to study his friend. Yep. Being in love clearly suited him. He’d always thought Brandon had a kind of strained look about his eyes, but that was all gone now. He looked healthy and happy, lounging comfortably in his chair. “You’re looking great. Jos must be good for you.”

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” Brandon said, winking. Winking! Brandon never winked. “What? He’s the One. Seriously. We’re like a hundred times better together than we are apart.”

“That’s cute. And also kind of sick-making.”

Brandon just beamed even more widely. “So go on, then. Spill the beans. What happened with carpet man?”

“Carlos? Oh, nothing much. We just drifted apart.”

“Cheating on you, was he?”

“No! Well, I don’t think so. I never caught him at it, anyway.” Although what with the way Carlos’s job took him all over the place for weeks on end, he could have quite easily had a man in every town and Lewis would have been none the wiser.

“Hey, cheer up. I always reckoned he was a stuck-up wanker, anyway. Reminded me of some of the arseholes I have to deal with on the city council. Only interested in backing policy changes that are likely to inflate their house prices. Never mind that there’s folk sleeping rough just yards away from where they park their fancy cars.”

“Carlos wasn’t like that,” Lewis began, then thought about what he was saying. Why was he defending the man who had been more interested in earning money than spending time with him? “Okay, maybe he was a bit like that, but he had his good points too.”

“Kept them well hidden, then.”

“Not in bed, he didn’t,” Lewis said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“Oi! I don’t want to think about the two of you at it, thank you very much.”

Lewis smiled to himself. Brandon always had been a bit of a prude, bless him.

“So anyway,” Brandon began, glancing over to the bar where Jos’s head was clearly visible above a group of girls in pink, the bride-to-be with the obligatory hen party L-plate on her back. It looked like they were sexually harassing him en masse, poor bloke. “Jos knows this guy at the university who’s single right now. He’s a bit of an odd one and doesn’t get out much, but I reckon you’d like him.”

“You’re not at work anymore, mate.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I mean, I’m not one of your charity cases. You don’t have to try and fix my life.”

“Hey, I’m just trying to help you find a man with a bit of integrity this time. If you’d rather go for the one with the nicest car or biggest dick, that’s your call. Just don’t come sobbing to me when it all goes tits up.”

“But you’ve got such nice shoulders for crying on,” Lewis said, throwing an arm around said shoulders and clasping Brandon to him. Brandon grinned, and the atmosphere eased. Just then a group of three tall pilsner glasses landed in the middle of the table, lager slopping over the sides. Lewis let go of Brandon and glanced up guiltily, but Jos had a knowing grin on his face.

“So, Brandon told you about Jasper, yes?”

“Jasper?” What the hell?

“My friend at the university. Sexy librarian man. You two, you will love each other. I know this. Both kind and gentle souls. You’re made for each other.”

Lewis’s eyes felt ready to bug out of his head and land in his pint glass. He took a swig of the strong lager, barely tasting it, but the cold fizz cleared his head a little. “Are you talking about Jasper Richardson, by any chance?”

“Yes!” Jos clunked his glass enthusiastically against Lewis’s. “You know him already? This is great, ja?”

“Er, no. He’s a client of mine. I mean…” Oh sh—
sugar
. He’d broken his long-standing policy of never speaking about clients unless cloaked in anonymity. “Well, we’re working together, anyway. And besides, I want to be single for a while.”

“Oh yes? You’re keen to play the meadow?”

“The field, sweetheart,” Brandon said. “It’s play the field.”

“It doesn’t matter. Lewis knows what I mean.”

Lewis nodded, then caught the raised eyebrows. “No! I don’t want to play the field. Come on, I’m thirty years old. I think I can cope with a few months without sex. It’ll be good for me.”

Jos shrugged. “I do not think so. Not if it means storing up all your urges inside, until they burst out of you and make you wild. I made stupid mistakes like that. Took up with bad men.” Jos got this strangely cowed look about him then, and Lewis wondered what on earth anyone could have done to intimidate the gentle giant.

“Shhh, you’re okay now,” Brandon said, hugging Jos to him and ruffling his hair in a strangely paternal gesture. “I’ll look out for you.”

What was that all about? Admittedly, Lewis hadn’t seen much of the two of them interacting since they’d first hooked up, but that was weird, watching Brandon doing the whole Nurturing Parent thing. Or was he a Controlling Parent? It’d been way too long since he’d read up on Transactional Analysis theory. Not since he’d taken his counselling qualification. He should probably brush up on some of that. Might help when dealing with Jasper.

But when Jos looked up again he seemed totally confident, and definitely in an adult headspace. “So Jasper, he is one of your hoarders?”

“I never said that.”

Jos’s forehead scrunched up like a ball of paper. “Oh, but I thought you said he was a—”

“Look, I shouldn’t have said anything. Hoarders are usually ashamed of their living conditions and do their best to hide it. Promise me you won’t say anything to him.”

“Okay, that’s fine.” Jos was clearly thinking it through. “But do you think I should still be giving him my old copies of
Professional Engineering
? I mean, if he has too much stuff already.”

“He takes magazines from you?”

“Lots of the students give their old course materials to him. Even if the library already has enough, Jasper says he can find a good home for them.”

Visions of the narrow passageways through teetering stacks of books filled his head. “Maybe just don’t give him any more until I’ve figured out what the issue is. So long as you can do it without letting him know you know, if you know what I mean.” How many “knows” did a sentence need, for crying out loud? Lewis took a deep draught of lager. Time to steer the conversation away from Jasper.

“So, are you two going away anywhere this summer?”

As Brandon and Jos launched into an enthusiastic rundown of their plans to hike through the Loire Valley, Lewis did his best to shove thoughts of Jasper Richardson to one side. The world might seem determined to push the two of them together, but that didn’t mean he had to cooperate.

In the end, Lewis made tracks after his third pint, leaving the two lovebirds to carry on feeling each other up. It was starting to make him feel jealous. Carlos had been delightfully tactile when he’d actually been around, and that had been one of the things that made Lewis keep hanging on, even once it became abundantly clear they were terminally mismatched. Unfortunately, the night bus seemed to be full of couples too. Or maybe it was just the one straight pair, sitting down at the front and eating each other’s faces off in full view of everyone farther back. That was just rude. Talk about rubbing it in.

Lewis took out his phone and played Angry Birds instead, but even when he’d beat his high score, there the happy couple still was, touching foreheads and whispering drunken nonsense. Lewis sighed, then called up his Tumblr dashboard and started browsing porn instead. Even his right hand needed a little extra inspiration now and again.