Just a Little Sequel (9 page)

Chapter Ten

Friday, October 31 | 4:00 p.m.

The next few days were strange, to say the least, not
bad
strange, but different.

Luke never woke me up before he left in the mornings. He’d disappear for his run, come back and shower, get ready for work, and be off to the station before I ever opened my eyes. Though he didn’t wake me up, he always left a short and sweet note on the marker board in the kitchen. Most mornings it said something like
have a good day at school, love you, see you this evening
.

I’d roll out of bed in the late morning and get ready for my afternoon classes. By the time class was behind me, I’d put in a short shift at the flower shop and head home. Not long after I’d show up, Luke would stroll through the door, and we’d spend the evening catching up.

That routine played out for about a week, and it was wonderful. We weren’t wasting time trying to squeeze each other in between the other stuff; we were just there, together. And it was perfect.

It’d been days since I’d talked to Charlie, and I hadn’t seen him once since he left the hospital. I didn’t know how he was doing, what was on his mind, or if he’d ever get over his feelings long enough to try to have a conversation. I thought by now that my uncle would’ve reached out and tried to talk to one of us. In all honestly, I kept expecting Luke to come home from the station with some kind of news from Charlie, but he never did, and I never asked.

Luke and I got cleaned up after a long day and ended up at Charlie’s that evening. I knew it would be the best opportunity to catch him at home because I’d heard through the grapevine—
Matt
—that he was going to throw Derek a post-birth baby shower. It was set to kick off in just a few minutes. Matt sent me a text to let me know; if I still wanted to catch my uncle, now would be a great time.

Plus Luke still hadn’t talked to Mattie about possibly subletting the apartment, so it gave us a perfect excuse for dropping by if all else failed.

But as much as I was eager to catch a moment with Charlie or hear what Matt had to say about the apartment, part of me—the nosey part, of course—was just as anxious to attend the shower just so that I could finally witness the dynamic between Derek, Rebecca, and the rest of the Reibeck clan. The news that Derek would be raising the baby alone hadn’t seemed to shock Lonnie or Grace back at the hospital; I wondered if they’d already picked up on that vibe somewhere along the line. Or maybe Rebecca had told them? But when Derek finally took it upon himself earlier in the week to make that announcement to all of his friends and family, Luke was the only one who’d seemed surprised. And I’d felt an instant pang of guilt for not giving him some kind of heads up.

He hadn’t said much about that arrangement since he’d found out. And as always, I had trouble trying to gauge his feelings. Luke had said once before that it’s
time
that heals all wounds, and if Rebecca’s decision had left a scar, I knew that the only thing that would help Luke was a little bit of time. So I remained patient; I didn’t press or ask any questions. After all, that’s what he’d wanted from me all along—to let
him
come to
me
when
he
was ready. So I waited.

“Knock, knock,” I stuck my head inside the house. I wasn’t really sure what the protocol was with things like that. After leaving home, especially under the terms that I left, how did you act when you returned? Were you supposed to knock? Ring the bell? Just walk in? I didn’t know.

Luke stood next to me, carrying the small gift basket we’d put together.

“Hey,” Matt said, coming in from the living room, “I guess you got my message?”

“Yeah,” I stepped in and looked over my shoulder. “Is he here?”

“He’s up in his room,” he said. “He’ll be down soon. I just…” he lowered his voice and stepped a little closer. “I just told him that you and Luke were coming by, and he’s…”

“Mad?”

“It’s hard to say,” he shrugged. “He didn’t really seem to have much to say at all.”

“I’ll go talk to him.”

“Julie,” he took my wrist as I headed for the stairs. “Maybe you should just wait until he comes down, okay? Give him some space.”

Well, if nothing else, I was glad that Charlie had Matt to look after him like that, and I was even happier that Matt had finally come clean to his father. He’d called me earlier in the week to say that Charlie had been moping around the house for days, slamming things around, and mumbling under his breath. He said it was just too hard to watch his dad suffer in silence, so he came downstairs and told him he’d come home. But instead of telling him the whole truth—again, I still wasn’t sure what that really was myself—he just told Charlie that he needed to take some time off from school, come home, and really figure out what he wanted from life. Matt said that Charlie didn’t really react at all; he wasn’t happy, he wasn’t angry, he was just… stoic.

I knew better than Matt probably did that him being home to support Charlie meant more to my uncle than he’d probably ever know. Charlie needed the companionship, and there was no one better to help him through his loneliness than his one and only son.

The house was already buzzing with guests. Lonnie, Grace, and Bruno crowded Derek on the couch, but only because Derek hadn’t let go of his sweet little Zoey (wasn’t that the cutest name?) once since we’d walked in the door. Rebecca and Molly were over in the corner enjoying some quiet mother-daughter time, and it seemed a little odd that she could sit there so distant from her newborn. Was she really going to just let Derek step up and take over? I didn’t understand it; how could she be close enough to touch, and yet so numb to her maternal instincts?

I stopped worrying about it; Derek was a big boy, and he didn’t need me looking out for his best interest. Whatever was going to happen between him, Rebecca, and their daughter was their business, not mine, and I had to stop
making
it my business. I had to stop stressing about everyone else’s problems. I needed to focus on what mattered most: me and Luke.

Luke dropped the gift basket on a decorated table near the front door. He mentioned to Matt in passing that he’d like to talk to him later about something. I imagined it was just apartment talk, and then he headed to the living room to join his family. Smile and all, Luke crowded in to get some one-on-one time with Zoey, and he didn’t seem the least bit uncomfortable swooping in and snatching her up. Then he went right into
Uncle Luke
mode—cute baby voices and all.

I turned to my cousin and paused.

Matt usually took opportunities like the baby shower to really show off his culinary skills, and I honestly expected to find dozens of trays filled with his special-recipe appetizers. Most of the food readily available looked like it’d been picked up from the local deli and dumped haphazardly in place. I eyed my cousin as he stood in the corner, blowing up pink balloon after pink balloon. I considered pointing out that there was probably no need to overdo the decorations for such a small affair, but he was keeping his hands busy, and that seemed to be a good thing.

Charlie came downstairs shortly after Luke and I arrived, and he only nodded once in acknowledgment to both of us.

The next hour was uncomfortable for so many reasons, and I didn’t really know how to handle my discomfort. Charlie had put together quite a few baby games, and he seemed really chipper about being the big party host. Each time Luke or I cheered because of a correct answer on a quiz or even made our presence known, Charlie would watch us with a distasteful look from the corner of his eye.

Derek was pleased with everything Charlie and Matt had done to celebrate Zoey’s arrival; he opened each of the gifts with a smile, thanked everyone for their thoughtfulness, and after another hour, he and Zoey went home for some much needed rest. Rebecca and Molly left shortly thereafter. Then Lonnie and Grace. And then Bruno. That just left me and Luke… all alone with Charlie and Matt.

After a while, no matter how kind and inviting Matt was, it just became too unbearable to stay in the house for another second. Charlie wouldn’t even stay in the same room as us, and I started to feel that we’d long overstayed our welcome.

“You know,” I said, ten minutes after everyone had left, “maybe we should go.”

Matt looked up and nodded as if he felt that would probably be best, and Luke and I stood in unison. I walked toward the kitchen, leaving Matt and Luke alone, and stuck my head inside.

Charlie was standing at the sink, staring out the window into the backyard. He didn’t look up, didn’t flinch. It didn’t seem as if he’d even heard me.

I took a step into the room and leaned against the doorframe. “I just wanted to say thanks for everything today. We had a great time, and I think Derek really appreciated everything you did for him and Zoey.” Charlie kept silent. “I think Luke and I are going to hit the road now. So…”

I stood and watched my uncle, still as a marble statue. If he hadn’t taken a sip from his coffee cup a moment later, I would’ve assumed he was paralyzed.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said, and this time he jumped a little. He must’ve thought that I’d left because I seemed to have taken him by surprise with my apology. I expected to keep talking to his back because he showed no will to face me, but after a minute he finally looked over his shoulder and turned around to meet my stare. His red eyes were sunken a little, and I could see that he’d shed a few tears since he’d excused himself from the living room a little earlier.

“I didn’t want things to be like this,” I let my gaze fall to the floor. I couldn’t look him in the eye; it was just too much. “I’m really sorry for the things I said, Charlie. It was out of line, and I should’ve never been so cold.” I thought of explaining myself and making a million excuses.
You refused to give Luke your blessing. You hurt him. You broke my heart. You’re manipulative and controlling, and I just wanted you to back off for once!
Saying those things, no matter how true, would only hurt him more. So I just nodded and looked up again, “I hope that you can forgive me. I really… I just wanted—”

“I know,” he said, and his voice was raspy and little shaken.

Again, I nodded.

“Maybe we can get together soon,” I said. “I’d really like to take you over to the house and show you the place. You’re welcome any time.—”

“I know.”

“And Luke,” I swallowed a little harder than before, “he’d love to show you all the things he’s done—”

“I know.”

“Right,” I said, figuring that I could stand there all day and talk, and he’d never muster up more than a simple
I know
. “I guess we’ll just hit the road then.”

He nodded again.

I waited to move; a few long seconds went by, but I let them pass. I thought he might say something else, anything. I hoped to hear that he’d accepted my apology, that he’d love to get together and see the new house or something. But he just stood there, unfazed by everything I’d just said.

“Okay then.” I walked away and tears stung my dry eyes the moment I put Charlie behind me. Luke met me in the foyer and pulled me into his arms. I stood beneath his hold for a few long minutes, and after I’d cried a wet spot into his shirt, he pulled back and lowered his face to mine.

“Why don’t you wait outside for a few minutes,” he said quietly. He looked behind my shoulder at the kitchen doorway, and then his gaze fell back to me. “Let me try to talk to him.”

I knew that wasn’t a good idea. Luke and Charlie hadn’t had a successful conversation in months, and I didn’t know what made Luke think anything might’ve changed in the matter of a couple days. Still, if he really thought he could get through to my uncle, I wasn’t about to stand in his way.

I needed him to crack Charlie’s shell
.

Luke reached up and wiped my mascaraed tears away with his thumb. “I’ll be right out,” he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

He headed for the kitchen, and I didn’t even look to see how Matt had reacted. I just went outside—I did as Luke had asked me to. If there was any chance (and I think we all knew that there was) that they were going to start yelling at one another, the last place I wanted to be was front and center. I didn’t want to hear that.

I just wanted it to stop.

I wanted them to get along.

So I waited on the porch for five minutes.

Then ten.

And then fifteen.

When Luke still hadn’t come outside, I decided to take a walk around the block to clear my head. I reached the end of the block and I didn’t turn around. I just kept walking. And then I walked a little farther. I don’t know how long I walked, I honestly lost track of the time. But before I knew it, I was crossing the Oakland border… still walking.

I tried telling myself that I didn’t know why I’d walked so far. I tried to pretend I had no idea where I was going, or why I’d chosen to leave Oakland behind me—if even for a few minutes.

I just kept moving away from our small town, winding down the back roads of thick trees, lush forest greenery, and wildlife. I walked for another fifteen minutes before I turned off the road and into a gravel driveway. The forest opened up into the small cemetery, and I walked to the very back edge of the property where we’d buried my parents.

Back by the giant oak tree and just in front of the fence at the far end, my parents’ grave rested, shaded and decorated by the natural colors of the fallen leaves.

I’d been there a lot over the last year, and I’d managed to come each time without shedding a tear. I’d always found something to talk about: Matt, Charlie, Luke, Derek, school, work, the everyday things. And by keeping my mind focused on what I
had
as opposed to what I’d
lost
, most of my trips to the cemetery were successful ones.