Just Another Girl (13 page)

“Do you want me to stick around?” Owen asks. I can tell he's uneasy.

“Well, maybe just until I make sure everything is okay,” I say nervously. “I mean, I didn't even think that he might not be home.”

“Why don't you go and check. I'll wait here.”

“Okay.” Still, it feels like my rear is glued to the upholstery. I'm not sure I really want to do this. I'm not sure I
can
do this. Suddenly this seems like one of the nuttiest things I've ever done.

“There's Dad!” Lily shouts, pointing over to the side of the house where a man is pulling a hose. How she knew it was Dad beats me, because he has a full beard, and I'm not even
sure I would've recognized him. Although the red hair is kind of a giveaway.

“Okay then.” I glance at Owen, and he gives me an encouraging smile.

“Good luck,” he says.

“Thanks.”

“Come on, Aster,” Lily urges. She's opening the passenger door now, halfway out. And the bearded man is looking curiously at the strange white pickup parked in his driveway.

“I'll have my cell phone on,” Owen says. “I'll probably go grab a bite to eat and check out that new electronics store.”

“Great,” I say, although I'm not really listening. It's like my ears are buzzing with nerves and my hearing is impaired. I watch Lily streaking across the driveway straight for Dad, like she thinks he's going to give her a big hug, and I'm thinking he probably doesn't recognize this bulky teenage girl.

“I better go,” I tell Owen, quickly jumping down from the truck. Then I follow Lily, forcing a weak smile. I send a cautious little wave to my father. “Hey, Dad, what's up?”

12

“What's going on, Aster?” My dad's expression is a cross between surprise and irritation.

“We just thought we'd stop by and say hi,” I tell him.

“Yeah,” Lily says. “Hi, Dad. Where you been?”

“I've been right here.” He's smiling at Lily, but there's a stiffness in his face.

“Sorry to catch you by surprise,” I say. “I guess I should've called.”

He nods and then seems to relax ever so slightly. “Yeah, calling would be good. Still, it's great to see you two. Where's Rosie?”

“Not Rosie!” Lily says with authority. “Just Rose.”

“Yeah, she throws a fit if anyone calls her Rosie, Dad.”

“Good to know,” he says.

“Anyway, she's at work. She's still working at Delilah's.”

“Man, you girls have grown.” He sighs loudly, then eyes Lily like he wants to ask how she got so fat, but thankfully, he doesn't say anything. Then he stares at me. “Wow, Aster, you got tall. How tall are you anyway?”

“About five ten.”

“Just a couple inches shorter than your old man.”

“Daddy!” a child's voice yells from around the side of the house.

“Oh, I almost forgot about Nelson.” He dashes back and returns with a blond toddler in his arms. He reintroduces us, and Lily gets down on her knees in an attempt to hug him, but Nelson backs away like he's not too sure about this big girl.

“Don't scare him, Lily,” I warn her. “Little kids take time to get to know people.”

“Hi, Nelson,” she says in a babyish voice. “Wanna play with Lily?”

He nods but keeps his distance.

“Let's go in the backyard,” Dad says. He herds us back along the side of the house and through a gate. I wonder if he's afraid to let us in the house. Maybe Jana will throw a fit or throw us out. But then I see that he seems to be working on putting together a play structure.

“That looks fun,” Lily says as she grabs hold of a swing.

“Not yet, Lily,” Dad warns. “I have to sturdy some things up before it can be used.”

But then Nelson gets on the swing and Dad doesn't say anything, which makes me think he was worried that the structure wasn't strong enough to bear Lily's weight. But Lily seems oblivious to this as she starts to push Nelson in the swing. Dad stands nearby like he's worried she'll push him too high or cause him to fall out. But Lily is actually being very careful.

“Hey, Aster, why don't you give me a hand with this,” he says as he picks up a yellow plastic slide that's lying on the grass.

So I end up helping my dad put together a play structure for my half brother while Lily keeps him occupied by swinging then playing kickball. They end up in the sandbox, where Lily seems to be having the time of her life.

“Lily is good with Nelson,” I point out.

“So far, so good.”

“Meaning you don't trust her?”

“She's got the mentality of a preschooler, Aster. You don't let a preschooler babysit a toddler.”

“It's not like she's alone with him. I'm just saying that Nelson seems to like her. And she certainly likes him. I think it's sweet.”

Now Dad smiles at me, and it seems like the first genuine smile he's had since we arrived. “Yeah, you're right. It is sweet.” Now he just stares at me again, slowly shaking his head like he's trying to figure things out. “You've sure grown up, Aster.”

“I'll be seventeen next week,” I remind him.

Dad gets ready to put together what looks like the final part on this structure. “Darn, I'm missing a bolt.”

I go over and peruse the pile of junk that must've come in the kit—various screws and washers and stuff—but I can't find this elusive bolt either.

Then Dad's eyes light up. “Hey, maybe you and Lil could keep an eye on Nelson while I make a quick run to the
hardware store to get another one. It'll be so much easier than loading him into his car seat and—”

“Sure,” I tell him. “Go ahead. And don't worry, I'll keep a close eye on Nelson and Lily.”

I assume this means Jana isn't in the house today, and that is a huge relief. I can talk freely to Dad without Jana popping in and putting in her two cents. Not that I dislike her that much, but I guess I don't really trust her, and I'm pretty sure she doesn't like Lily or me. She and Rose seemed to get along okay at first, but that sort of cooled off after the baby came. Especially when Rose informed Jana that she “didn't care to babysit Nelson.” Big surprise there, since Rose never helped much with Lily either. And, naturally, I wasn't any help to Jana, being that I was—still am—sort of joined at the hip to Lily. My guess is Jana hasn't missed the Flynn girls much.

So I go sit on the edge of the sandbox and watch as Nelson and Lily play. They really do seem to get along nicely, and I think for the next several years they could probably be friends. Until Nelson outgrows her or begins to feel embarrassed to be around her. I'm sure it will happen.

Dad returns with the bolt after about twenty minutes. By then Nelson is starting to get a little cranky, and Dad announces it's naptime.

“For me too?” Lily asks. Sometimes I make her take a nap.

“Not you,” I say.

“Uh, do you girls want to come inside?” Dad offers in a way that suggests he's not quite comfortable with the concept. I suspect this has to do with his neat-freak wife.

“Yes!” Lily says. “I'm thirsty.”

So we follow Dad and Nelson through the French doors that go into the family room. Their family room is about twice as big as ours, and everything matches. I mean really matches, like Jana picked it all out at the same time or maybe even from a catalog. Rose thinks it's beautiful, but I think it feels phony. Lily just likes the big-screen TV.

“Aster, why don't you get Lily and yourself something to drink,” Dad says. “I'll get Nelson off to dreamland.”

“Dreamland,” Lily says in a wistful voice.

Lily decides she wants Pepsi, and I settle for water. We both just stand in the kitchen, because I don't want Lily to spill her soda on the cream-colored rug in the family room. Dad comes back, gets himself a beer, and asks us if we want to sit down.

“Maybe at the breakfast bar,” I suggest, nodding to Lily and her soda.

Dad seems to get this. So we all three sit at the breakfast bar, and Lily does spill some Pepsi when she spins around too fast on the bar stool. I give her a warning as I run for some paper towels. Then I sop up her spill, wipe her face, and tell her to drink the last sip, which she does. I take the can over to the sink, rinse it out, and turn to see Dad staring at me again.

“Where does this go?” I ask.

“Just leave it in the sink, I'll get it later.”

So I set the can and my glass in the sink, then turn to face my dad, who is still sitting at the breakfast bar between us. Lily has wandered into the family room, where she has discovered a basket of picture books and seems content.

“I'm sure you're wondering about this surprise visit,” I say quietly. “And I don't want to play games, so I'm just going to come right out with it.”

He nods. “Okay.”

“Why haven't you been paying child support for the past two years?”

Dad frowns, then runs his fingers through his beard. “Didn't your mom tell you that I'm not working?”

“You're not working?” This stuns me. How can Dad, the guy who used to be a total workaholic, not be working?

“No, I quit when Nelson was really small. You see, Jana decided—I mean,
we
decided that one of us needs to stay home with Nelson until he starts kindergarten. He was getting sick so much from the day-care center that we were worried about his health, and Jana was missing work when she had to go get him all the time.” Dad holds up his hands. “Anyway, since Jana makes more money than I do and she had the best health insurance and benefits, I was nominated to be the main caregiver for our son.”

“So you're a stay-at-home dad?”

“Just call me Mr. Mom.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. And let me tell you, it gets old fast.”

I glance over at Lily. “You don't have to tell
me
.”

“Yeah, I guess not.”

“Even so, Dad, aren't you still
supposed
to pay child support? I mean, isn't it a law?”

“When I told your mom about this development a couple years ago, I explained that since my income was going to be reduced to zero, it would be impossible to pay child support, and as you can imagine that didn't go over too well.”

“So I heard.” I don't point out that I just learned of this recently.

“Anyway, your mom pretty much told me that if I didn't pay child support, I wouldn't be allowed to see you girls at all—ever.”

I blink. “She really said that?”

“Yep.”

“So that's why we haven't seen you.”

“She explicitly told me that if I had any more to do with you girls other than sending you things for birthdays and holidays, she would talk to a lawyer.”

“Oh yeah . . . now it's beginning to make sense.”

“Didn't she tell you any of this?” Dad asks.

“No. If the subject of you comes up, which it seldom does, Mom gets angry, and that's pretty much the end of it.”

“Well, your mother also said that as soon as I start working again, she will go after the five years of unpaid child support,
which means I won't be bringing much of a salary home. I, uh, I haven't told Jana this yet.”

And I assume that Jana hasn't offered to help Dad pay child support for the three girls she can barely tolerate. In fact, I suspect that Jana is perfectly happy with this little arrangement. Dad gets to stay home and take care of their child, plus they don't get stuck with child support. Nice setup.

“So I don't really know what I can do for you, Aster.” He holds his hands up again in that helpless gesture. “Unless I go back to work, which sounds tempting, although Jana would throw a fit.”

“You wouldn't want that to happen.”

He forces a weak-looking smile. “No . . . I wouldn't.”

“So is it all you hoped it would be, Dad, to have a son?” I hear the bitterness in my voice, and as much as I don't like it, I don't think I can help it. I am angry. Really angry.

“Well, I have to admit that for as much work as that little bugger makes for me, he's a lot of fun too.”

“Yeah, sometimes I feel like that about Lily.” I narrow my eyes at my dad and lower my voice. “But I don't get off caring for her for
only five years
. It's been more like most of my life. Not that I have a life, really. It's hard to when you have a full-time job taking care of a—” I stop myself from saying “retard.” I know that's wrong. And it's not really how I feel. But I am frustrated. More at Dad than Lily.

Just then we hear the door to the garage opening, and I turn to see Jana coming in. She looks as shocked to see me as
I am to see her. She has on some kind of medical garb, kind of a like a doctor, I suppose.

“Why, Aster,” she says with raised brows, “what are you doing here? Is anything wrong?”