Authors: Heather Allen
Just Breathe (4 page)
As I round the last corner I notice a person lying in the grass on their back. As I get closer, I realize it’s a boy with dark hair about my age and he is listening to music through ear buds, so he doesn’t hear me come near. His eyes are closed and he is doing something with his fingers. I see light bouncing up and down again, almost like he is shining a flashlight around to the beat of his music. But I can’t see anything in his hands. As I get a little closer, I can see the light is coming from him. As if it is radiating out of his fingers. I stumble backwards, shocked.
I stop suddenly and hold my breath, frightened. Realizing I need to get out of here before he realizes someone else is here. I turn around glancing back and quickly, as quiet as I can, jog in the other direction. I don’t stop to look back again and head straight for my jeep on the opposite side of the lake. I hope he didn’t see me.
I start the jeep, flinching at the sound of the loud engine and glance in the direction of the opposite bank. Still no sign of him, I take a deep breath and put the jeep in reverse. Whatever it is, I don’t want any part of it. I drive for a while sans music thinking about what I saw. What in the world? There has to be a logical explanation. Maybe he had something in his hands after all.
That was the first night of the dreams.
I went home and decided not to repeat what I saw. After all, I am in a state of heartbreak still, aren’t I? I was unusually tired that night and turned in early, which of course, alarmed my mom who had to go through the whole battery of taking my temperature and a thousand questions. I swear my parents know when anything unusual happens to me. My brother is the one who usually always gets off question free, so not fair.
I’m running through the brush and grasses along the bank of the lake looking back frequently for something behind me. The grass is so dry it scratches my legs causing paper thin cuts that seep tiny drops of blood. My feet keep getting caught causing me to trip. My breathing is coming out so ragged, I’m sure my heart will burst. It feels like I am running for my life. I trip a final time and it feels as if someone has caught me, grabbing my arm calling out “Gotcha!”
I wake with a start holding my breath, sitting straight up in bed. Then I start panting really hard, it feels like I just ran a marathon. After I catch my breath I get out of bed to get a glass of water, the dream made me so thirsty. I’ve never had a dream so real like that before. My body starts to calm after a whole glass of water, but not sure I want to venture sleeping again. Checking the clock, it’s only three o’clock in the morning, ugh. I still have three and a half more hours til I have to get up for school. Great, I decide to try to sleep some more, that’s all I need is circles under my eyes in the morning.
***
Suddenly, my alarm is going off. I'm so glad the dream gave me a break and didn’t come back. It’s Friday, our first football game of the season, so I decide to show some team spirit; instead of my usual drab colors. I slip on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt featuring our school mascot – a Knight in the real flattering, garnet and gold. A smile plays on my lips, knowing Gabbi will get a kick out of this.
As I park in the student parking lot, Gabbi meets me at my jeep with Reggie. He has his arm around her shoulders and they are giggling together. Guess they got real cozy, fast. I am so happy for her; I give her my best grin these days to show her how happy I am for her. The first thing she notices is my infallible school spirit and she starts laughing. She ends up doubled over with Reggie giggling too, but both of us looking at her quizzically.
“So glad I could amuse you.” I say.
She straightens up quickly and says, “Sorry, I couldn’t help it, you have worn not an ounce of color in a month, it’s so nice to see you in something other than black.”
I ask with a smile, teasing her, “And that is funny how?”
She just waves me off.
She asks, “We are on for tonight, right?”
I nod truthfully, “Oh yes, looking forward to it.”
Her eyebrows go up and she asks, “To what do we owe this new and improved Ever? Are you finished mourning?”
I roll my eyes and shake my head smiling, “If you keep mentioning it, I might regress.”
She giggles and they walk off waving.
Now, to tackle first period, always the hardest because Michael is in that class and it’s World History, double whammy. Currently, not a fan of any kind of history, nor am I very good at it. I can remember anything from the periodic table but put historic dates in front of me and my brain shuts down. There’s no future for me there.
I walk slowly into class, early like normal. I would rather be early and watch Michael come in than vice versa. I hate that feeling, when you walk in and everyone is staring at you. I would rather be the one doing the staring. I take my seat towards the back. The seat to the left of me is always empty, now that Michael has found a new spot. The other three sides are all occupied.
Sasha to my right is a pretty good friend, so we start up a conversation about the impending game and our predictions for the outcome.
Our teacher, Mr. Griggs walks in and greets us so I turn to face the front and notice in my peripheral vision the seat to my left is not empty, as it should be.
No, Did Michael come back?
I‘m scared to look. My heart starts to speed up. Slyly I turn my head to the left letting my hair fall into my eyes to mask my glance. My heart stops and my breath catches. It’s him, the boy from the lake. He has ear buds on and he doesn’t notice my glance. I turn the other way quickly and realize I am going to hyperventilate or faint.
Ok Ever, you really didn’t see anything, there really is some logical explanation as to why this boy’s hands lit up like a Christmas tree in broad daylight. Calm down.
Then I hear Mr. Griggs drone on about a new student. What? What did he say? I totally missed it. As I glance over to the left, the boy is just sitting back down after being introduced and our eyes meet. He smiles and I blush feeling warmth spread through my face down my neck. Wow, his eyes, he is gorgeous. I keep staring unable to break the lock of his eyes. They are the bluest eyes I have ever seen. They look like the color I would imagine the ocean to be.
Suddenly I hear my name.
“Ever Harding,” Mr. Griggs says loudly.
I break my trance and glance around, all the eyes around are on me, I stammer, “Um, Yes Mr. Griggs?”
I sink further down into my seat. “Ever, can you please pair up with Mr. Tanner and show him the assignments for this week?”
“Um yes, Mr. Griggs,” I mumble.
Sasha bumps me with her elbow and asks, “What was that, you just phased out there for a sec.”
I just shrug my shoulders hoping not to draw any more attention.
Tanner, I think, what is his first name? I glance over at him and he has a confused, almost frown on his face staring straight at me. There’s that warmth again. I look forward suddenly, maybe my mom was right and I am coming down with something. I put my hand on my forehead to feel for a fever, nope pretty normal.
I lean over towards the new boy and without meeting his eyes and ask, “Um, sorry I didn’t get your first name.”
He backs away and stutters like I surprised him, “It…It’s Jack.”
Then he glances the other way as if trying to avoid eye contact.
I lean over and whisper, “I have fourth period study hall in the library at twelve, can we meet then to…ah, catch you up on the assignments?”
He just nods without looking at me and looks up at Mr. Griggs. He doesn’t glance my way again throughout the rest of the class. When the bell, I look over and he’s gone. I think I’m going crazy. Where is Gabbi when I need her?
Second period creaks slowly by, of course because I want to be somewhere else. I practically run to English Lit and see Gabbi talking to Reggie. Lucky me, now I have to share her during our only class together. I sit down and she glances toward me smiling but does a double take when she sees my face.
“What is it?” she asks.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
I take a deep breath and spill it.
Luckily Reggie is looking the other way talking to another friend. I give her the condensed version starting with yesterday at the lake. I had vowed not to mention it to anyone but now I reason, if anything happens to me at twelve, at least one person knows something.
Gabbi’s mouth drops open and before she can say anything, our teacher walks in. I hold my breath for a minute thinking, what if he has this class too? I scan the room and find he isn’t here. I take a deep breath,
thank god
.
My mind drifts as our teacher, Mrs. Pine starts discussing West Side Story, I’ve read it a thousand times already.
I imagine walking into the library and Jack showing me that he has flashlights for hands. Maybe he is really an alien from another planet coming to take people back with him. I know fifth grade imaginings. I met Gabbi when I moved to Pahrump in fifth grade. She was my first friend and she’s been the only really close one I’ve had through all the years. We used to play in her tree house, nestled in a huge oak in the middle of her two acre backyard. It is one of those multi-level thingys. I guess her dad wanted her to only have the best of everything being an only child. We would make up these stories about aliens coming down through the tree to abduct us and how life would be so different on another planet. We had the mysterious planet all figured out down to the clothing they wore and the language they spoke. Maybe we were on to something after all.
I smile at the memory and glance over at Gabbi. She is looking at me with this questioning look. I brush her off and focus on Mrs. Pine.
Class drags on forever. Finally, as we walk to our lockers, Gabbi is able to react to my story.
“Oh my god, are you really going to meet him in the library? Maybe you should skip it and just ignore him.”
I shake my head, “Mr. Griggs asked me to help him. I’m probably making more out of this than it really is. I’ll be fine Gabbi.”
Realizing now that I sound a little more confident than I feel.
She raises her eyebrows, “Okay I will leave my phone on during next class, text me as soon as you are done. I want to hear everything.”
I take a deep breath and start walking in the direction of the library.
As I walk through the doors I spot him. He is seated at a table in the far corner facing the window. The library doesn’t have the best view. Directly outside the windows is the parking lot where all of the students park, then across the street is the park, where I spent my first class, a while back, mourning Michael.
Wait where is that flutter in my stomach when I think about him. Hhhmmm not there. Maybe I am getting over him, finally.
I feel a new flutter, or more like, a nervous rumbling.
As I approach Jack, he turns and smiles, “Hey, you made it.”
I smile back, that warm feeling spreads through my face and down my neck again. This time I hold his gaze. I could get lost in those eyes. They are almond shaped and the bluest I have ever seen. As I get a better look, I notice his brown hair is a little shaggy on top and falls across his right eye at times. He is a little lanky but still strong looking.
Don’t know what it is about this guy but I am speechless. He offers the chair next to him, so I sit. I have to make myself stop staring. I glance at the table and books piled in front of us.
Don't make a fool f yourself, Ever.
He asks, “So what should I do to catch up in Mr. Grigg’s class?”
I grab his book, thankful to have something other than those eyes to focus on and explain, “Well each week we are responsible for reading two chapters and completing questions with a project.”
I continue, “Um... It’s all listed in the syllabus.”
He nods as I talk and smirks occasionally. My breath catches when I look up and find a little tilted smile at the corner of his lips. His full lips with that smile are so captivating, and I lose track of where we were.
He asks,” Which classes do you have left?”
I have to think for a minute, my mind is scrambled.