Just Breathe Trilogy Box Set (86 page)

The day after Halloween, I oddly get a knock on my door around eight-thirty in the morning. I’m not expecting any deliveries and if it was any one of my bodyguards, they would have texted. Logically, my brain concludes that there is only one person who would be at my door this early in the morning.

Pulling the door open, my mouth begins to blurt a greeting, expecting to see Joe. Surprisingly, my jaw drops in shock when I see an older woman standing in front of me holding a vase with all-white roses and a single red rose in it.

“Good morning,” the woman greets with a smile. “Are you Ms. Emma Peterson?”

“Y . . . Yes,” I fumble.

“Great,” she says. “These are for you, my dear. Happy Birthday!”

“Thank you,” I barely say, taking the flower arrangement from her.

“Have a lovely day,” she offers and then turns, walking away.

“Wait,” I announce after her.

“No tip is needed, sweetie. The sender took care of that,” she informs as if she’s reading my thoughts.

“Thank you!” I shout as she disappears around the corner to the elevators.

I place the flowers on my breakfast table area and open the note. It reads:

One white rose for each day it’s not your birthday,

And, one red rose for the day that is your birthday.

Happy Birthday, beautiful!

xoxo

Joe

My heart skips a beat at his sweet gesture and I stare at the card for a long while before smelling the exquisite roses. A knock at the door pulls my attention away, but a smile remains on my face as I move to answer the door. I do my best to compose myself, but I can’t help but feel giddy.

“Did you forget . . .” I say as I open the door, expecting the delivery woman to return.

Joe steps in and kisses me. “Happy Birthday, beautiful.”

“It’s not my birthday,” I remind.

Joe doesn’t comment. He closes the door and greets Sadie. “I see the flowers arrived.”

“Yes. Thank you,” I return uncomfortably.

“You’re welcome.”

“You shouldn’t have,” I say.

“Well, I wanted to,” Joe admits.

My mouth opens to comment, but by brain falls short of coming up with anything. Joe leans in for a kiss, but I deny him. “Why did you have them delivered if you planned on coming over?”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d accept the gift if I brought it,” he confesses.

“I . . . just friends, Joe.”

“For now,” he says, stealing a kiss.

“No,” I unsuccessfully challenge.

“I’ll let you go,” he states. “I just wanted to see you before Jimmy and Allen wake up.”

I nod.

“I’ll see you and Maggie tomorrow,” he confirms more than reminds like he’s nervous I’ll cancel our business trip.

“Tomorrow.”

“See you then, beautiful.”

“See you.”

The next day, Maggie and I settle into our suite in Oregon quickly before heading to the hotel restaurant to have a late lunch with Joe. Maggie and I excitedly discuss business the majority of the time while Joe mostly sits and listens. When our meal concludes, we drive over to the building to supervise the delivery and installment of the equipment for the Raven Media servers.

It takes two whole days to get most things set up with the crew we’ve hired and six of our employees. By the time Joe, Maggie, Sadie and I head back to California, I feel certain my staff is capable of handling the remaining details. Once everything is triple checked, we can turn on the hardware and begin installing the software.

Other than mentioning that I had attended Ayana’s Halloween Bash, the media has calmed down considerably. I’m grateful that they seem to already have forgotten all about me.

During the following week back in California, Joe and I get together a few times in the evening, but we don’t have sex. It’s that time of the month again for me and I’m a little irritable — I’m not the best person to be around before, during or after my birthday. Joe’s a gentleman and tries to make me feel better, but my mood dampens when I find out that he’s heading back to New York for a long weekend with his family to celebrate his birthday. On top of that, Joe’s stay may get extended for business which then keeps him there past Thanksgiving.

Two days before my birthday, I shut myself off from the world. Jared, Nathan and Maggie are the only people who know what’s going on and what I’m about to do. I purposefully don’t inform my bodyguards until a few hours before my trip.

When I was eighteen, I took the train back to New Jersey to visit — to visit what, I’m not quite sure. Nǎinai’s advice to go and forgive sounded like a good idea, but as the hours get closer to my departure, I’m reconsidering my thoughts and feelings.

Once on the train, Sadie and I remain in our cabin the majority of the time, only exiting when there’s a stop to allow her time to stretch and pee. Taylor visits a few times to check in on me, but doesn’t press to know where we’re going and for how long. I can see the tension in his eyes about us being confined on a train as well as being shut out from our travel details. He does try to pry a few answers from me, but I never give him enough to fully know my plans.

Two cars pick us up at the train station and take us into New York City to our hotel. I booked a room for myself and several for my team at a very posh, high-end luxury hotel that caters to celebrities or anyone with a lot of money who wishes to not be disturbed during their stay.

“Other than Jared, Nathan and Maggie,” I begin. “No one else needs to know where I am, Taylor.”

“Yes, Emma,” Taylor replies.

My bodyguards, Sadie and I arrive at our hotel in the early afternoon. The valet assists with our bags and escorts us inside to the desk.

“Good afternoon, Miss,” the male receptionist greets.

“Hello,” I return.

“How may I assist you today?”

“I’d like to check in, please.”

“Ah, yes, Ms. Peterson.” He hands me back my identification and credit card. “Your rooms are ready and Byron here,” he says, gesturing for a man to come over. “Will see you and your bags to your room.”

“Thank you,” I reply.

“Is there anything specific or special you require from us for yourself, or
any
of your traveling companions?”

“Sadie will be with me the majority of the time, but I will let you know. Thank you.”

“My pleasure, Ms. Peterson. Enjoy your stay.”

With a smile, I return, “Thank you.”

Taylor and Caesar follow Byron, Sadie and me up to my room for inspection prior to getting settled into their own rooms. At least one of their rooms is on the same floor as mine. Sadie gets comfortable on the bed as I start to unpack my things. Right as I finish hanging up my clothes, I hear a knock at the door.

Without thinking, I open it, not checking to see who it is. I’m expecting it to be either one of my guards or a staff member checking in on me. As I open the door, my eyes widen and my voice catches in my throat, unable to utter a word.

“Hey, beautiful,” Joe says with a smile.

“H . . . hi,” my mouth mutters.

“I knew you’d miss me, but I didn’t think you’d come all this way just to surprise me,” he comments, stepping into the room. Joe’s lip fall to mine despite the shock that has consumed my entire body.

“What the hell are you doing here?” I blurt.

Joe lets go of me and greets Sadie. “I could say the same to you.”

“Taylor is fired,” I announce, reaching for my phone.

“Why?”

“I told him not to tell anyone I was here,” I rant.

“Taylor didn’t tell me you where here,” Joe explains, a little shocked at my response.

“So, he told Hunter and Hunter told you,” I speculate.

“No,” Joe corrects. “I was leaving a meeting here in the hotel and saw you and Sadie.”

“What?” I gasp in surprise. “Why would you have a meeting here . . . in this hotel?”

“My family owns it,” Joe answers.

“Shit,” I reply. “Of course you do.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to New York? You don’t need a hotel room. You could have stayed with Jimmy, Allen and me,” Joe says, clearly perplexed by the situation.

“No one was supposed to know I was here,” I inform. “Only Maggie, Jared and Nathan.”

“Why? What’s going on?” he searches with concern in his eyes.

I look away.

“Emma?”

Wrapping my arms around my torso, I keep my gaze to the floor as I answer him. “I came . . . to . . . .” My body trembles with the thought, now confident that this was a mistake. “This was a mistake. I need to go.”

“Hey.” Joe catches me by the arm. “You’re worrying me. What’s going on? What’s wrong?”

My head shakes, not wanting to confess.

“Please, beautiful,” he coaxes sweetly. “Tell me.”

“I came to visit,” I reply on the verge of tears. My gaze jumps to Joe’s face, immediately looking away when I see the distress in his eyes. “Tomorrow . . . it’ll be nine years . . . since the accident.”

Joe surrounds me with his arms, kissing me on my temple several times.

“I didn’t want you to know,” I begin, fighting back tears. “With tomorrow being your birthday and all. I . . . .”

“I’m glad I know,” Joe states, looking deep into my eyes.

Joe doesn’t let go of me for a long while. At some point, he guides me over to the bed and surrounds me with his body. When my tears subside, he lets go of me for a brief second. He takes his phone out and calls someone, informing them that all plans for tomorrow need to be cancelled. I can tell the person on the other end of the phone asks why by the way Joe answers, refusing to share the real reason.

“What are you doing?” I question the second he hangs up. “Why are you canceling your birthday plans?”

“You’re more important,” he answers kindly. There isn’t a single hint of pity in his tone.

“No,” I object. “You need to be with your family and I need to do this alone.”

“I’m not going to let you do this alone,” Joe states. “You need me.”

“I’ve done it before by myself,” I snap.

“This would be twenty-five years of my family seeing me for my birthday,” Joe reveals. “Missing this year won’t be a big deal.”

“No,” I repeat. “Call them back.”

“No.”

“Joseph.”

“You can’t get rid of me, beautiful,” Joe announces.

Arguing with him is pointless. I’m too tired to fight and I wouldn’t be surprised if he knows that he’s already won.

“Don’t worry,” he soothes. “No one will know you’re here. I promise.”

About an hour later, Anna arrives at my room with a bag for Joe. I hide Sadie and myself in the bathroom, not wanting her to see me, especially since my eyes are still puffy from crying. Joe orders room service for dinner and has Taylor take Sadie out when she needs to go. Most of the night I’m pretty quiet and so is Joe. Eventually, we take a long bath and Joe rubs my neck, shoulders and back. When we move to the bedroom, we snuggle up with Sadie and put on a movie — Joe picks what to watch because I’m too indecisive.

As the sun goes down, I fight the urge to sleep — fearing the nightmare.

As I attempt to lift my heavy eyelids, I discover a hazy darkness surrounding me. Blinking slowly several times, my half-opened eyes won’t focus to give me any clear indication of what’s around me and where the blurry, flashing lights above are coming from. My body feels heavy. Still unable to open my eyes all the way, I perceive that I’m laying down somewhere. A cool dampness near my left cheek reveals itself as a slight gust of air brushes past my face. Sliding my right arm up the side of my body like a snake, my fingers creep to my lips. Drool — or, at least I hope so.

Two large and oddly shaped figures materialize in front of me. They are so close, only a foot or two away. Voices suddenly emanate from the now more defined silhouettes. Their speech sounds muffled and trails off into the distance even as I try to concentrate on their words. Who are they? What are they saying? Why can’t I understand them? One of the voices almost sounds feminine.

Another indistinguishable sound gradually becomes more apparent as it grows louder and the ringing in my ears subsides. It’s the engine of a car. My brain finally starts to put the fuzzy pieces of evidence together. I must have fallen asleep in the back seat. A familiar smell creeps into my nose that reassures me — my mother’s perfume.

“Mom?” my throat squeezes out in a raw, breathy, hoarse tone.

Wake up, Emma.” Her voice replies in a low sluggish tone.

What is she talking about? I am awake.

A sudden rush of nervousness enters my belly. The car feels as if it’s flying down the road like a rocket ship as the speed of the flashing lights zooming above my head all blur into one.

“Mom,” I try to shout, but not a single sound escapes my mouth this time. Confused, I try again. “Mom!”

She doesn’t hear me. I don’t hear me.

A single, bright white light races toward us, growing larger by the second. Mom turns her head toward me smiling. Why doesn’t she hear me? How does she not see the light?

Again, with all my might. “Mom . . . !” my voice trails in my head like a deafening siren, stabbing my ears like a knife.

Time stops in this very moment. I can see everything with complete clarity as I stare in horror into my mother’s eyes. I can’t move. My mouth is left open, screaming without a sound. I can’t hear anything besides a piercing ring that echoes in my brain.

My body lurches backward as I scramble to grab anything.

“Wake up, Emma!” the voice beckons.

Ignoring the command, my nails dragging over the flesh of my mother’s body, I reach to yank the bloody, metal object from her stomach. Black liquid oozes from her mouth as her eyes stare lifelessly past me.

“Mom!” I finally hear the sound of my own voice as I claw at the protrusion in her abdomen. Tears streaming down my face, blocking my vision as I jerk at the metal object to remove it from her cold, stiff body. “Mom . . . I can’t get it out.”

I’m thrown backward when the voice echoes again, “Emma, wake up!”

With my mother’s body no longer within reach, I scramble to get a hold of one of her legs. Using all of my strength, I pull myself over and grab onto the metal.

“I need to get it out,” I cry as I’m snatched away again. “I need to . . . .”

“Wake up, Emma!” the voice orders.

My eyes fling open as I scream out in horror. Disoriented, my body shakes as tears continue to down my face.

“Emma?” a voice calls full of tormented concern.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to focus on its words.

“Emma,” it calls. “It was just a dream. It isn’t real.”

I nod, but my eyes stay closed.

Sadie rests herself across my lap.

“Emma,” he says. “Emma, please. Look at me.”

Five seconds later, my eyes flutter open. “I’m . . . okay,” I gulp in-between breaths.

“You sure?”

“Yes,” I say a little more confidently.

“Was it the bad one?” he checks.

“Bad one?” I ask, not understanding.

“Like the one you had at my place the first time you . . . .” Joe chokes on his last words.

“Yes,” I admit sheepishly.

He curls his body around mine, firm enough to let me know he’s here and I’m safe, but soft enough to not crush me. “Will you tell me about it?” he inquires tentatively.

It takes me a few minutes to calm down enough for me to describe the dream in detail. When I’m finished, I mention that prior to the last one, that was just like the one tonight that happened at his place, I haven’t had this severity of the dream for a number of years. I explain a little bit about my first few years with Jared and how the nightmare haunted me every night. When they stopped, which was right around my eighteenth birthday, I thought I could visit my parents’ home, but I was wrong. It took another few months for them to go away after that. Since then, I haven’t returned.

I study Joe’s face when I’m done explaining. There are a myriad of emotions painted across his face — pity, thankfully is not one of them.