Just What I Need (The Bradfords) (7 page)

“You’re going to have to talk me out of buying ponies and Barbie Dream Houses, you know,” Kevin heard Sam say to Sara.

She laughed and squeezed him. “I’m gonna be the one giving you fifteen reasons why you have to buy
two
of everything.”

“Even ponies?”

“Especially ponies.”

The elevator arrived as Sam said, “I wonder what the chances are of
you
having twins girls too.”

Mac’s groan was quiet, but heartfelt.

The NICU was, of course, set up to have parents staying for long periods of time—if not constantly—with the tiny patients. Jessica pushed herself out of the recliner next to Natalie and Ellie’s incubator as she heard Sara’s voice coming toward them.

As her siblings stepped around the corner, Jessica had to swallow hard.

Sara looked young and sweet, while Sam looked like hell.

They were both in hospital scrubs. Jess had dug them out when they’d arrived, knowing they were all going to be at St. Anthony’s for the next several long hours and comfort needed to be one of the main objectives.

“Hey,” Jessica greeted softly.

The environment in the NICU was one of low stimulation for the babies. The lights and noise level were kept low at all times.

“Hey.” Sam strode forward and pulled her into a hug.

Jess sagged against him in relief. She hadn’t been sure he’d want that, hadn’t been sure what to say, or how to support him best.

She felt him pull in a long breath, then whisper “thanks” against the top of her head.

When he let her go she asked, “For what?”

“Being here.”

“Where else would I be?” she asked, blinking up at the younger brother who had towered over her since he was sixteen.

“Exactly.” He gave her a little smile. “Thank you for that.”

She pressed her lips together and nodded. She was worried about the little girls in the incubator, of course, but she was also worried about Sam. This had to be killing him. Sam didn’t admit it readily, but he took care of people and didn’t do well with feeling helpless.

“They’re doing okay,” she said, gesturing at the incubator where Ellie and Natalie slept curled together.

His eyes shining, Sam stepped forward. He leaned in and put his forehead against the plastic that encased them, staring down at his daughters.

He stayed that way for several long moments while Sara and Jess stood behind him, their arms around each other.

“I knew this was how it was going to be,” he finally said softly. “They told us a while back that Ellie was a lot smaller and they’d both probably need the NICU. But I still had visions of holding them and feeding them and hearing them cry.”

Jess had to clear her throat before she spoke. “The clothes I bought aren’t going to fit them for awhile.”

Sam straightened and looked at his sisters with a faint smile. “Clothes? You didn’t know they were going to be twins.”

Jessica lifted a shoulder. “I might have gone overboard enough that you could have had five and still had plenty.”

His smile grew. “You didn’t know they were girls, either. How’d you know what colors to get?”

Jess glanced at Sara, who was pressing her lips together and gave Jessica a little shake of her head. Sam stepped toward them, his eyebrows up.

“You didn’t know they were girls. Did you?”

“Well…” Jessica stalled.

“Dani slipped, didn’t she?” Sam said.

“But not about the twin thing,” Sara hurriedly assured him. “
That
was a total shock.”

Jessica nodded. “And I don’t think she even knows now that she made the slip. We were talking one day about clothes and she mentioned something about borrowing one of Ava’s dresses sometime.” Jessica and Ben’s daughter, Ava, already fussed about wearing dresses, much to her Aunt Sara’s chagrin.

“I’m telling you right now,” Sara said to Sam, “at least one of those girls is going to be girlie and like heels and skirts and manicures and sparkly things in her hair.”

Sam visibly relaxed and Jessica realized that talking about the future, the girls being home and past all of this, was helping.

“Maybe you’ll have a girlie-girl of your own,” Sam said.

Sara’s eyes widened as her hand went to her stomach. “Hey, yeah, maybe.”

“I’m so glad you told us you’re pregnant,” Sam said to his little sister.

“You sure?” Sara asked. “It was bad timing, no question.”

“There’s never a bad time for happiness,” Sam said.

“Wow, quite philosophical,” Sara said, swatting Sam’s arm.

“Well, I’m a dad now, you know. Wise and mature and all that crap.”

Sara laughed. “I’ll believe wise before mature, and wise is a real stretch.”

And then Jessica was crying.

Sam and Sara turned to her with surprise. Jessica wasn’t much of a crier, usually.

“What’s with you?” Sam asked.

“I’m…” Jessica sniffed and tried to smile. “I’m so proud of both of you.”

The two people standing before her had kept her up many, many nights, given her gray hair before her time and had, at one time, made her certain she never wanted to be a mother to another child. The responsibility and pressure of stepping in after their dad had been killed had been so intense. And so good for her.

These kids—who were now two of the best people she knew—had saved her. She didn’t often think about her crazy, rebellious past or where she might have ended up if their dad hadn’t been shot and killed, but she knew, without a doubt, that she’d needed Sam and Sara as much as they’d needed her.

Sara smiled and enfolded Jessica in a big hug. “Aw, we’re proud of you too, Jess.”

Jessica looked up at Sam and he grinned at her. “Not so much when you’re a blubbering mess for no reason, but yeah, most of the time.”

God, she loved them so much. She pulled back, wiping her eyes. “Sorry.”

“What’s with the water works?” Sara asked. “I know why I broke down. Newborn nieces, my husband being heroic, my brother being all sweet and worried, and, of course, hormones. What’s your excuse?”

Jess felt her cheeks heat. “Um, well…that stuff. Too.”

“Newborn nieces or Sam being sweet?” Sara peered at her closely.

Jessica focused on Sara’s earlobe instead of meeting her eyes. “Both. And Ben being heroic.”

“Ben’s heroic every day,” Sara pointed out.

“So is Mac,” Jessica said.

“Yeah, and it’s not like I’m
never
sweet,” Sam said.

“You’re right,” Sara said, tipping her head, trying to look at Jessica directly. “It must have mostly been hormones, then. How about you, Jess?”

“It was just seeing you both with kids of your own and taking care of each other and…”

“Hormones.”

Jessica looked up quickly, meeting Sara’s eyes. She started to deny it, then snapped her mouth shut. She took a deep breath. “Yes, probably.”

Sam’s face broke into a huge grin. “Are you kidding?”

Jessica couldn’t help but smile at her brother’s happiness, in spite of what was going on with him. “Not kidding.”

“You’re pregnant too?”

“Yes.”

Sara squealed, though quietly, and pulled Jessica into a hug. “This is wonderful!” Then she looked at Sam. She grabbed his hand. “Sorry, Sam.”

“Don’t be sorry.” He rubbed a hand over his face. “Jesus, please don’t be sorry. This is great news. Our kids will grow up together.”

And Jessica’s tears started all over again. “Ben doesn’t even know yet.”

Sara pulled back, her eyes wide. “You haven’t told Ben?”

“I took the test this morning too. I was going to wait for…a good time.”

Sara looked sheepish. “Yeah, I understand.” She quirked an eyebrow. “You still shouldn’t have told us before you told him.”

“You guessed. That’s not the same thing.” Jessica frowned. “Is it?”

Sam coughed. “Maybe you could ask Ben what he thinks.”

“Ask me what I think about what?”

Chapter Five

The girls spun to find Ben in the doorway.

Jessica was always happy to see her husband, but after the emotional rollercoaster of this day, she
had
to touch him, feel his arms around her, hear his voice in her ear telling her everything was all right. She had no idea if other women felt this way. Watching her friends with their husbands, including her sister and sister-in-law, she suspected they did, but even if not, Ben centered her. Whether she was watching him work, listening to him read to Ava or holding his hand, Jessica felt like she could…breathe better or something. She could barely explain it to herself and had never tried to put it into words for anyone else, but simply—and somewhat inadequately—put, she always felt better when Ben was around.

Today was absolutely no exception.

“I need you,” was all she said to him.

“I’m glad,” was his simple answer.

Ben didn’t ask any questions when she took his hand and started for the door. “We’ll be back,” she said to her siblings.

“Take your time,” Sam said with a huge, knowing grin.

Ben didn’t hesitate for a moment when she pushed him into the elevator and pressed the button that would take them to the first floor. The ER was, of course, on the first floor. So was Jessica’s office.

“So, when you said that you need me, you meant…”

She cupped the back of his head and brought him in for a kiss. She pressed close, gratified when he groaned and his hands went to her hips, lifting her against him more fully.

“Yes, this is what I meant,” she said against his jaw.

“Happy to oblige,” Ben said huskily.

“I need…”

Ben cupped her face in his hands, making her look at him. “I know what you need.”

The words could have been sexy. Another time, another day, they would have been. But instead she saw in his eyes that he did understand. She needed to be close to him. She needed to be as close as she could be to everyone she loved today. With Sam and Sara it was sharing the time in the NICU. Later, with Ava, she’d hold and rock her long after the toddler fell asleep. And with Ben, she would give him her whole body, her whole heart, right now, in the moment, as close as two people could be.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“I will always give you whatever you need,” Ben said. “Always.”

The elevator opened in the hallway that led to the ER in one direction and the dining room in the other. It was Saturday and both Jessica and Ben were obviously not meant to be in today, but if they were seen there was no doubt that someone would need something from one of them “for just a minute”.

Ben leaned out and looked both directions. “We’re clear.”

“Hurry.” Jess resisted giggling as they slipped down the hall. They had to pass the ER to get to her office on the other side. As she followed Ben it occurred to her that there were other private places in the hospital they could have gone that would have been easier to get to.

Finally, they got to her office and she got the door unlocked without them being seen.

“On the desk, babe.” Ben started pulling off the undershirt he still wore with his tux pants.

Jess lifted herself onto the edge of her desk, pulling her shirt off and tossing it to the side.

“How do you manage to stay looking so great, without a spot of anything on your clothes after delivering
twins
?”

Ben’s shirt landed on Jessica’s office chair. “I removed nineteen bolts embedded in a guy’s thigh, including the femoral artery, the other day and came out without a drop of blood on my pants. Twin babies are a piece of cake.”

Jessica laughed. “That’s the kind of romantic talk that always gets me going.” She draped her bra over her desk lamp.

“I have lots more stories like that,” Ben said.

“Oh, I know.” They worked side by side in the ER every day. Gruesome, bloody cases were what brought Ben down from the surgical floor.

“But I’d rather tell you how gorgeous you are,” he said, stepping close, shirtless, his pants unbuckled and unzipped, to cup her breasts.

“Well, okay, if you must. I guess I’ll put up with ‘you’re gorgeous’ instead of hearing about foreign objects embedded in human bodies.”

“You’re gorgeous. You’re amazing. I can’t get enough of you.” Ben dipped his knees and drew his tongue over and around her right nipple.

She groaned and held the back of his head, her fingers in his hair. “You’re gorgeous, you’re amazing and I can’t get enough of you either.”

Ben slipped her pants and panties off, letting them fall to the floor by his feet. He stroked his hands up her inner thighs, nudging her knees apart and stepping close.

“I love your skin, I love how hot and sweet you are when I slide into you.” His thumb brushed over her clit, then his middle finger slid deep.

She moaned. “I love how you touch me.”

“Put your heel up on the edge of the desk.”