Kairos (12 page)

I feel my spine stiffen, and my hands tremble slightly as I shift on the couch and try to rein in the surge of anger pulsing through my veins…but it’s not working, and I let it out like a volcano erupting.

“Who the hell do you think you are to march into my life and think you can upend everything I’ve worked for, expecting me to acquiesce as if nothing about this whole thing is crazy? You asked me to hear you out, and I have, but I’m not convinced I’m this important person you’re seeking. There are some things about me that you don’t know. Maybe I’m the wrong girl. Maybe I’m—” His fingers press my lips shut.

His eyes lock with mine. They are glimmering with barely contained intensity. His lips crinkle with tension, and he looks at me as if nothing else exists. I shudder, and I’m lost to him. I feel my blood rushing through my narrow veins and my heart pounding double-time in my tight chest. Logan Thatcher is the most intensely arousing man I have ever met, but this is different. I’m enthralled.

“You are exactly what we need! What I need! Don’t you see? Can’t you feel the magic running through your veins, encircling your heart, and tingling through your fingertips?”

He firmly grabs my shoulders and leans into me, invading my personal space, but I don’t care. My breath is hanging on his every word, his every breath. “You are a Macgregor. You are the key to all of this. I assure you there are other important persons, but you, Sulwen, you are the catalyst.” His lips brush against mine like a soft warm breath of summer air. The air rushes from my lungs. He draws back and looks into my eyes. Our foreheads are touching, and he affectionately rubs my nose with the tip of his.

Sitting back, he takes my hands again. “This is much larger than us, but I want you to know that you are my priority, and your safety and happiness is of the utmost importance to me.” His lean fingers clutch my chin as he looks into my eyes with the depth of a crystalline green sea. I’m drowning in his gaze, but I’m not scared. I trust Logan. I know he will protect me, but I need him to know that I’m quite capable of doing so myself as well.

I poke my chin out and sit back from him. “I know you’ll protect me, Logan, but I also need you to know that I’m capable of protecting myself. You can’t step in and take control of my life and expect me to simply nod like an addle-minded fool. I’m far from ignorant, and I’d appreciate it if you trusted me with equal measure.”

My shoulders shift back, and I exhale the pent-up tension from my chest. I swallow two deep breaths and stand from the couch. Logan stands with me and tenderly grips my forearms and pulls me into his arms. His embrace is warm. He smells like a crisp breeze blowing through a pine forest. I inhale deeply and feel him kissing the crown of my hair. His strong arms squeeze me firmly into his muscled chest. My cheek snuggles in over his heart. I love the way it feels beneath my face. My hands clutch his shirt over his broad shoulders. His fingers are running hot trails up and down my back as he soothes my worries away.

“I’m sorry, baby.” He’s holding me as if I’m precious to him, and my heart stutters and then resumes a frantic rate. Oh God. Oh God. He feels so good against me. I want to sink into him and soak up his glowing warmth. It flows over my bare flesh with sweet tickling sensations, leaving me short of breath and greedy for his touch.

I nod silently into his chest, and he tightens his arms around me. This is where I belong. Here in his arms. This is what love in its purest form is. I have never felt this way for a man before. I loved my father with all of my heart, but what I feel for Logan is all encompassing. It makes me feel exposed yet excited all at the same time.

Logan pulls back and looks down into my shining eyes. I can feel the tears building, but I swallow the thick lump in my throat and fight them back. It’s too soon. I can’t feel this so quickly. He’s so new in my life, but he has come to be the most important part of it. How has this happened?

He leans down and kisses the moist corner of my eyes and then rubs his nose against mine and releases me. Then he sits and pulls me down on his lap.

“Logan?”

“Hmm?”

His chin is nuzzling the crown of my head, and his arms wrap around my chest and clutch together over my breasts. Our legs are twined around each other. It’s as if every inch of my body is perfectly attuned to his and yearns for contact. Any space between us is unacceptable. I need his touch.

“I’m scared. I’ve never done anything exciting in my life. I’ve always done what was expected of me and followed the safest course to my destination, wherever or whatever it was.”

He gently tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and smiles warmly down at me.

“I’ve got you, Sulwen. I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise you. I’ll never leave you alone.”

Chapter
Six

W
hen I finally crawl into bed that night, a thousand thoughts are racing through my mind. Today was a turning point in my and Logan’s relationship. He revealed all of the specifics that he felt I needed to know at this point. He didn’t want to overwhelm me with everything at once. At first I took offense, as if I was too naive to understand the significance of what he was telling me.

I told him about my mom and how she left shortly after I was born. I told him the whole story about how she and my dad met while he was on a graduation trip with some college buddies in Scotland. When he returned she was sitting on his apartment steps, and they were inseparable after that. They were married less than a month later, and shortly after she found out she was pregnant, and she didn’t think I was my dad’s.

She told him that she had been brutally attacked and raped not long after they met in Scotland. My father, the compassionate man that he was, loved her all the more. They had me eight months later, and my mom placed his name on the birth certificate with the stipulation that I carry her Macgregor name when I turned eighteen.

My father paid to have my name changed in honor of his promise to her so many years ago. At first I was angry, but then I grew to embrace my Scottish heritage. I was always curious but never had the money to go visit, and then dad got sick. I explained it all to Logan. I thought it was important for him to know my story, even though the telling of it was brutally painful.

To this day I have never understood how a mother could just walk away and never look back. My father loved her, and she just turned her back and left us behind as if we were nothing to her. It hurts so bad to think of her…and how my dad must have felt.

Logan took everything in with a contemplative eye. He listened to everything, never interrupting or making me feel as if what I had to say was of no value. It was the first time I had spoken of my mother in more than ten years. My father gave up on finding her, and we settled into a comfortable and happy life together. There was no need to discuss her. She had abandoned us, and I hated her for it. I hated her for the tears my father shed and for the women he compared to her and found lacking, but most of all I hated her for leaving me.

I know it sounds selfish, but I was so little, and she just left me without a backward glance. That was always a hard pill to swallow for me. So in order to protect myself from the ongoing heartache, I chose to forget her. I put all of her old stuff into boxes and placed them in my dad’s attic. They were there until he passed away, and I had to sell the house.

Now I have her and Dad’s things in a storage unit down the road. I never go there. It’s too painful to sift through their things.

Logan explained his plans to take me back to Scotland. While I was excited to be traveling, I was also feeling slightly overwhelmed. It was a lot to take in. Even though he explained as much as he could, I still feel like I’m in a dream and that any minute I’ll wake up and my life will return to its boring routine again.

So now I’m to turn in my notice at work, pack up a bag, and head to Nairn, Scotland. I’m still reeling from the changes taking place at such a mind-boggling speed. After Logan left last night, I researched what I could on Google about Nairn and its history, but the information I found was limited, and it lacked any mention of “mystical” occurrences or “magical” happenings. I’m flying into this blind, but I’ve promised myself I’ll approach everything with an open mind.

Two weeks fly by as if they are minutes instead of days. Tonya’s dad was upset with my abrupt departure, but he understood. I told everyone I was going to find my mom’s family. It was the most probable story I could conjure up that would provoke the least amount of resistance from Tonya and my dad’s family. They kept a polite but distant relationship with me, thanks in part to my cold indifference.

Everyone knew I wasn’t my father’s biological child, but until his death I had never felt the chasm between us with such painful clarity. I was on my own. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise considering they hadn’t spoken to my father since he married my mother. They despised her and probably saw her for what she truly was.

All of that aside, this is my chance to do something important with my life. Something my father would have been proud of. The thought emboldens me as I zip my suitcase closed and wheel it out to the foyer. Tonya is waiting on me with tears in her eyes. I’ll miss her the most. She deserves to know more, but I was sworn to secrecy, and I couldn’t betray that trust with Logan.

We hug, and I feel her shaking as she struggles to fight back her tears. She knows something is going on, but I’ve had to shut her out, and that’s what pains her the most. It breaks my heart to do this, but I have to in order to protect her. The more she knows, the more danger she’ll be in. It’s better this way.

Logan said I needed to keep quiet to protect those around me. To draw attention to myself was to invite danger. But when I’m with Logan, it all feels as if it’s destined, and I grow more convinced each day that this is what I was meant for. This is the “more” I always felt I needed from life but never had. I’m going to Nairn to play my role in protecting what rightfully belongs to mankind.

I pull back from her hug and smile a heartfelt smile to reassure her. “I’ll be fine. Logan is going to help me with my search. I’ll check in with you twice a week and e-mail you as often as I can. I promise. Okay?”

“You better! You’re like a sister to me, Sully, so please be careful and hurry back home. We’re your family now.” She sniffles and wipes her face with the back of her hand. “I know you need to satisfy that part of who you are, but just remember I’ll always be here for you no matter what. Dad and I. He’s worried about you too, you know. We love you, Sully.” She grins her best friend grin at me, and I smile widely back.

“I love you too. Take care while I’m gone, and if you meet any hot guys, I want the scoop.” I wink and turn to the open door.

Logan and Thad are waiting in the parking lot next to their car. Logan walks to me and takes my bags to the back of the SUV. I turn back and wave to Tonya and climb in the backseat. Logan hops in beside me and fastens our seat belts, and then Thad pulls out.

We arrive at the Inverness Airport and quickly make our way to the baggage claim. The airport is small and easy to navigate, and within minutes we’re heading over to the exit. There’s a black Mercedes SUV waiting for us as we step out into the brisk evening air.

The wind is crisp and cool compared to the eighty-degree weather we left behind in Tennessee. I look at my phone and see that it’s a little over sixty degrees. Perfect.

Absolutely exhilarating—that’s the only way I can describe the way it feels to step onto soil in a country thousands of miles from home.

The SUV is large and comfortable as I slide into its black leather seat in the rear of the vehicle. The driver sits patiently without looking back or paying any attention to me. He has an earpiece in his ear and is wearing a black suit and tie with a shaved head and dark sunglasses. I look at him through the rearview mirror and see his head lift, and our gazes collide, but he doesn’t acknowledge me in the slightest and resumes his forward-facing position.

I’m tired from the long layovers and what seemed to be a never-ending flight halfway across the world. I’ve had a few glasses of wine during our flight and some decent chicken salad, but my belly is growling, and I’m growing grouchier by the minute. I need a shower, clean clothes, hot food, and a very long nap.

Thad hops into the front seat, and Military Man hands him a manila envelope, which he shoves into a briefcase he’s carrying. The man leans over and rattles off some information to Thad, but his accent is so thick with a Scottish brogue that I can barely tell it’s English, much less make out the words themselves.

I always thought accents were incredibly sexy, but not today. Now I’m finding myself at a distinct disadvantage and feel like a sheltered country girl stepping out into the big world for the first time. It’s a little intimidating to say the least.

Logan sits down beside me and reaches over to buckle me in. I swat his hand away and buckle myself up. When it clicks, I look up at him smugly with an “I’m not helpless” look. He shrugs and then fastens himself in. The car pulls onto the road, and we begin our short trip toward the small city of Nairn.

The streets are lined with cobblestone, and most are blocked off from traffic. Sidewalks are everywhere and filled with pedestrians. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen. People are out and about, and 90 percent are walking or traveling by bike.

You would never see this back home. Most of our streets don’t even have sidewalks, and if you see someone walking, you generally think, “Poor bastard doesn’t have a car.” That’s obviously not the consensus here.

The buildings lining the streets are of a different time than back home. Craftsmanship such as I have never seen exists here. Ornate carvings and mortar work speak of a time-honored tradition in their architecture. I’m fascinated and can’t pull my eyes away from the visual orgasm before me.

“Are you nervous?”

I pull my eyes from the window and the beautiful scenery flying by the car as we speed toward our destination and look into Logan’s eyes. He seems relaxed, but his expression is unreadable. He’s been rather hot and cold during the trip here. I never know when he’s going to be the caring and compassionate Logan or when he’s going to flip the switch and become strictly business Logan.

“Yes, a little. I’m feeling many things right now, and it’s hard to pinpoint any singular emotion. Are you going to tell me about the place we’re going to?” I raise my eyebrows in question, and his mouth twitches at the corner. For a brief instance, his eyes light with humor, and then it’s gone as he clears his throat and straightens up in the seat. He turns to look out his window.

“I’ll explain everything when we get there. I’m under orders not to reveal anything until you speak with Duncan. He’s the man in charge.” He shuffles in his seat and turns toward me. I don’t meet his eyes but instead take in his unruffled appearance. We have been flying for an entire day, and he looks as fresh as he did when we left. His hair is perfectly mussed. His sleeves are rolled to his elbows, showcasing toned forearms with traces of light blue veins near the surface.

He has very little body hair, and what he does have is a very light blond, so it’s barely visible. His distressed denim jeans hang low on his hips, giving him a casual sex appeal. And his face is slightly shadowed with light blond stubble, which, in my opinion, makes him even sexier. In a word he is exquisite. And for some reason, it pisses me off right now.

I know I look like shit. My hair feels grimy and gross. At a layover in DC, some guy who reeked of BO sat next to me, and now I swear I smell it on me. Not to mention the fact that my teeth feel like they have sweaters on them. Sweet mother of Mary, I’m a hot mess.

My tone is a little gruff when I respond, “That’s a little harsh, don’t you think? I’ve come all this way, and you’re only telling me what it is you think I need to know. It’s insulting, Logan. Give me a little credit for having a brain that functions within normal parameters.” I practically growl the last word.

“We’re not trying to degrade you, Sulwen. We’re trying to protect you. There are people out there who would kill you if they knew of your existence and location. It’s probably why your mother left you in the States when she did. I know you think she did you a disservice, but I’m beginning to think otherwise. It seems a pretty selfless act, if you ask me.”

“Suck a nut, Logan.” My blood heats to a quick boil. “I didn’t ask you, now, did I? And for future reference, my mother is off limits. I don’t want to think about her. I don’t want to talk about her. And I don’t want you giving her credit where it isn’t due.” My muscles tighten when his hand rests on my thigh. He squeezes gently, and I look over at his grimacing face.

My words were a little sharper than I intended, but I’m sleepy and hungry, and those two are not a good combination for my hormones.

“Sorry,” I mutter. I place my hand on his. His lips rise in a small smirk.

“It’s all right. I know you’ve been through a lot already, and I’m only trying to prepare you for what’s to come.” His eyes soften, and the fine lines around his mouth ease away. “I won’t let anything happen to you, Sulwen. Please trust me. Everything will be revealed in time. A little patience is required in this kind of situation. And I know that’s not your strongest virtue, but please try. For me.” I look down to our joined hands on my thigh and release a sigh.

“Fine. Take me to your leader, mortal.” I grin at him, and he chuckles lightly, squeezing my hand. He raises our twined fingers to his mouth and kisses each of my knuckles. The action sends a warm current through my body, and I’m suddenly picturing him hovering over me as he thrusts deep into my core, his sexy bedroom eyes staring down at me and his face scrunching up that delicious way it does when he comes.

“Stop that.” His voice cracks on the last word, and I look up at him through my lashes. My face is getting hot, and I know I’m blushing like crazy.