Karlology (37 page)

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Authors: Karl Pilkington

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I
read more. It took them 72 hours to
g
et to the Moon.
N
eil stepped out of the Lunar Module on his own at 22:45
p
m EDT (Nort
h
American Eastern Day
l
ig
h
t Time zone) an
d
sai
d
t
h
e
f
amous wor
d
s, “T
h
at’s one sma
ll
ste
p
f
or [a] man, one
g
iant lea
p
for mankind.” It was re
p
orted that he messed up his line and left out the word “a”, which meant the sentence lost its impact
.

I
watc
h
e
d
a vi
d
eo o
f
Buzz
g
ettin
g
out o
f
t
h
e mo
d
u
l
e.
H
e
g
ot out 15 minutes a
f
ter Nei
l
as
h
e’
d
h
a
d
to sta
y
in t
h
e module doin
g
technical stuff like takin
g
readin
g
s from dials and meters and turning the stand-by light off. When he did come out
,
h
e seeme
d
more nervous t
h
an Nei
l
. Even w
h
en
h
is
f
eet were on t
h
e Moon,
h
e
h
un
g
on to t
h
e ste
pl
a
dd
er
f
o
r
q
uite a w
h
i
l
e
b
e
f
ore
h
avin
g
a wan
d
er, a
b
it
l
i
k
e someone at the swimming baths who isn’t that good at swimming
.

There were lots of photos in the museum. There was a
b
i
g
p
icture o
f
Nei
l
Armstron
g
stoo
d
on t
h
e Moon, or was it Buzz? You can’t see t
h
eir
f
aces in t
h
e
h
e
l
mets, an
d
t
h
e
y
w
ore the same suits, so for all I knew it could have been the
S
tig off
T
op Gea
r
. It definitely wasn’t Michael “Moonman”
C
o
ll
ins, t
h
oug
h
, as
h
e never got to wa
lk
on t
h
e Moon. I can’t
b
e
l
ieve t
h
at –
h
e trave
ll
e
d
a
ll
t
h
at wa
y
an
d
d
i
d
n’t even
get out to stretch his legs. The
L
u
nar Module
(
the
Eagle
)
se
p
arate
d
wit
h
Nei
l
an
d
Buzz in it,
b
ut Moonman Co
l
l
ins sta
y
e
d
in t
h
e Comman
d
Mo
d
u
l
e
(
C
o
l
um
b
ia
)
j
ust
going
round the Moon like a bank robber whose job it is to keep the car running. In his autobiography, Michael wrote t
h
at “T
h
is venture
h
as
b
een structure
d
f
or t
h
ree men
,
an
d
I
consi
d
er m
y
t
h
ir
d
to
b
e as necessar
y
as eit
h
er o
f
t
h
e ot
h
e
r
two”. T
h
at mi
gh
t
h
ave
b
een t
h
e case,
b
ut to me
h
e’
ll
always
be like the drummer in the 80s band Bros – he was a
l
wa
y
s at t
h
e
b
ac
k
w
h
i
l
e Matt an
d
L
uk
e
g
ot a
ll
t
h
e atte
n
tion. W
h
oever it was in t
h
e
b
i
g
ph
oto, t
h
eir
p
ose
l
oo
k
e
d
a
b
it aw
k
war
d
. It’s
f
unn
y
h
ow some
p
eo
pl
e
j
ust can’t re
l
ax
f
or a photo. I think it was down to the fact there was nowt to sit or lean on or stand next to on the Moon
,
and I don’t t
h
in
k
t
h
ey
h
a
d
poc
k
ets on t
h
e spacesuits, so t
h
ey cou
ld
n’t
e
ven
d
o a
h
an
d
s-in-
p
oc
k
ets
p
ose. I
f
it was me
h
avin
g
t
h
e
ph
oto
d
one, I wou
ld
h
ave
g
ot Eart
h
b
e
h
in
d
me an
d
trie
d
to make it look like I was holding it in my hand, maybe
b
alance it on my head, or both, depending on how much
fil
m was
l
e
f
t in t
h
e camera.
L
oo
k
in
g
at t
h
e
p
ictures t
h
e
y
d
i
d
mana
g
e to ta
k
e, it
d
i
d
n’t ma
k
e me want to
g
o an
d
visit t
h
e
M
oon. The fact they took pictures of their footprints in the
M
oon dust proves to me that there really ain’t that much to see up t
h
ere
.

They were on the Moon for 21 hours but only spent two an
d
a
h
a
lf
h
ours
h
avin
g
a wan
d
er on its sur
f
ace. I su
pp
ose
o
nce
y
ou’ve seen one
b
it o
f
t
h
e Moon,
y
ou’ve seen it a
ll
. It’s
sa
i
d
t
h
at
w
e
kn
o
w m
o
r
e
about
t
h
e
su
rf
ace
o
f
t
h
e
M
oo
n
t
h
a
n
we
do
about
t
h
e
botto
m
o
f
t
h
e
sea.
Thi
s
state
m
e
n
t
m
a
k
es
t
h
e
h
uman race soun
d
b
rainy, w
h
en in
f
act it’s cos t
h
ere’s
n
owt on t
h
e Moon to
k
now a
b
out
.

W
h
i
l
e Nei
l
an
d
Buzz were on t
h
eir wan
d
er, t
h
e
y
p
o
pp
e
d
up a flag. It didn’t look that impressive, as with there bein
g
n
o wind it just stood stiff like one of Suzanne’s mam and
d
a
d
’s towe
l
s
,
w
h
ic
h
are was
h
e
d
wit
h
no con
d
itioner. I
h
ate
h
avin
g
a s
h
ower at t
h
eir
h
ouse as it’s
l
i
k
e
g
ettin
g
d
rie
d
wit
h
sandpaper. Neil and Buzz then went on to collect some dust and a couple of rocks. I’ve heard that when they were
p
reparing
f
or t
h
e
l
i
f
t-o
ff
f
rom t
h
e
l
unar sur
f
ace, t
h
ey
d
iscovere
d
t
h
at one o
f
t
h
em
h
a
d
b
ro
k
en t
h
e i
g
nition switc
h
f
or t
h
e ascent en
g
ine. (I
b
et it was Buzz. I to
ld
y
ou
h
e was trouble.) The story goes that they had to start the engines
b
y using part of a pen. This information wasn’t in the Science
Museum, so it ma
k
es
y
ou won
d
er w
h
at e
l
se t
h
e
y
are
k
ee
p
in
g
f
rom us. Was Mic
h
ae
l
rea
lly
su
pp
ose
d
to
k
ee
p
ci
r
cling the Moon, or was his seatbelt buckle broke and stuck so he couldn’t get out
?

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