Karma (Karma Series) (15 page)

I went to her car parked in the driveway. The doors were open and I lifted up the passenger seat mat. A small packet of off white powder was there. I took it and placed it on the back dashboard.
I walked over to the back of her car and gave it a little tap before I hopped back on my bike and rode to the playground.

For reasons I'd never be able to explain to any sane human being, I knew after she left there, she would get pulled over a little less than a mile away for a bad brake light. Upon the officer approaching the vehicle
, he would spot the bag of heroin through the back windshield.

Between h
er probation being violated and possession of an illegal substance, she would be incarcerated and spend the next three years in jail. The entire time she’d be wondering how the bag got there when she thought she'd stashed it under the rug.

I didn't know what would happen to the man b
ut I hoped he’d find peace.

I hadn't seen Fate at all, that night. I knew he'd been there from the dent in his pillow. So when I got in the office the next morning, I went straight to Harold. I knocked on his open door to get his attention.

“
Yes?” he said and waved me in, not bothering to look up, but he seldom did.

“
Something odd happened.” I slumped into one of his chairs.

He looked up briefly, shook his head and looked back down at his papers.
“I’m not surprised.”

“
I went on a job yesterday—”

“
Alone?” His head perked back up.

“
Yes.”

He looked me over, nodded and then looked down again.

“There was an older man there and even though his daughter didn't see me, he did.”

“
Close to death. When humans start straddling the line, they sometimes pick up on us.”

“
Ah.” I leaned back in the chair.

“
How are things going?”

I picked up a pen from his desk and started nibbling. My quasi partner was a bastard, I had an old guy who looked like he shouldn't even be breathing who stalked me, my murderer had been keeping tabs on me from childhood and the door guys hated my guts and made it their purpose in life to have me wade through dirty gully water and sink in mud piles.

“It could be worse.” Technically, it could be. I still had pizza and coffee, after all.

Harold
looked up at the exact minute a slip of paper appeared in my lap.

Maxwell Stein, Fort Myers Beach
Pier

“
What is that?”

I jammed the paper in my pocket.
“Huh?”

“
That paper! Give it to me.” He stood, leaned over the desk and pointed to my pocket.

“
Oh, that? It's just my notes.” I stood and started edging toward the door.

“
No, it isn't. I saw that show up. It should've come to me. That's my note. I get the notes.”

“
Harold, I don't know what you're talking about. I pulled that piece out of my pocket.” I just kept shaking my head, as I got closer to exiting his office, hoping he wouldn't follow me.

“
You're leaving at the end of your trial, right?”

“
Yes. No worries there.”

I could see him deciding whether it was worth pursuing the paper and then he finally slumped back into his seat with a scowl
ing face.

I opened my phone and speed dialed Fate as soon as I got out of hearing distance.
“Meet me in front of the office.”

***

“What is that?”

I handed Fate the piece of paper.
He looked down and then back to me.

“
Harold give this to you?”

“
No.”

“
Then where did you get it?”

“
I just got it.”

“
How?”

“
It just came to me.”

“
But why are you getting memos?” He was holding the paper in front of my face.

“
Back off. I don't know why, but I did and I bet this is his target.” I ripped the note from his fingers. “Are you in or should I find this guy alone?”

He pulled the slip from my fingers.
“Come on,” he yelled, walking briskly toward his car.

“
Where we driving?”

“
I want to drop my car off at my house.”

“
The Jinxes are upstairs. Why not have the kids drive it?” I already knew the answer. He probably didn't like them to drive
his
car, but it was fine for my Honda.

It didn't take long to drop it off
and pull up a picture of the guy online so we could make sure we’d recognize him.

I let Fate make the call for the door guys, hoping they wouldn’t realize I was with him until after the door was open.

It didn’t work. The door started opening oddly from the bottom up but stopped about a foot and a half off the ground.

“
What the hell?” Fate asked, walking closer and bending down and trying to yank the door up. He turned to me. “What's the deal with this?”

“
Ask them,” I said pointing to the guards.

“
They don't speak.” He turned toward me, hands on hips.

“
They point.”

“
No, they don't.”

“
I guess you don't know everything.” I walked closer, but not too close, to the guard on the right. “Why is the door like this?”

A gloved hand raised and pointed to
a ding on his shoulder.

I swung back to Fate.
“See? They're still pissed off about the hail storm.”

His face looked disbel
ieving. “You're mad?” he asked them.

They nodded and then pointed to me.

Fate motioned for me to follow him, as he walked about twenty feet away.

“
Why is everything to do with you so strange?”

He looked at me as if I had some sort of explanation for him.

“What? That they’re mad? I did dent their suits. It's not that surprising that they’re upset.” If someone stained the only dress I had, I’d be pretty pissed.

“
That they're communicating.”

“
Have you ever tried talking to them before?”

He shook his head.

“Well, maybe it's not that odd. You can lack certain social graces, on occasion.”

“
No, you don't get it. Everything to do with you is odd.”

“
How so?”

“
You want a list?”

“
No. I don’t need a list from you about how weird I am.”

“
You're a transfer. We haven't had a transfer in eons because they don't work out. You transferred over within a week of losing our other Karma. Spots usually stay open for a year or more. You're still so connected to your past life you never should have even been an option and yet—”

“
And besides having no social graces, you stink at truces!” I walked away from him and back toward the doors, screaming over my shoulder as I did. “I'm doing what I'm supposed to do...most of the time.”

He
cut in front of me, dropped to the ground and rolled through the opening. “Come on,” he called out from the other side.

I paused right before
I dropped to the ground myself. “I hope you both have a really nice day,” I said to the guards.

They turned their heads away and stiffened
. It didn’t matter; I’d crack them.

I rolled right onto a sandy beach. Fate reached down and grabbed m
y hand, yanking me to my feet and letting go quickly.

“
Hey, how’d I end up in this?” I realized I was in a gold bikini that I filled out quite nicely. A cute black wrap hugged my hips.

“
Did you pick this out?”

“
The guards did,” he said but wasn’t actually looking at me.

“
Over here,” he said, weaving his way through the people sunning themselves.

He was in bathing trunks but had a shirt on over it.
Considering I was in a tiny bikini, the shirt struck me odd. He looked like he was in superb shape but maybe he had something under there he was uncomfortable with.

“
I see him.” He pointed to the distance. “There, the guy in the blue trunks and the surfboard.”

“
Are you going to try and get close?” Maxwell was floating around on his surfboard with a couple other guys.

“
Not me, you.”

“
Me? Shouldn’t the more experienced person do this one?” He was still staring out at the ocean. “Hello? Can you look at me for a second?”

He looked back at me
and I immediately wished he hadn’t. It was
that
look. I knew what could come from that look. Completely thrown off kilter, my tongue darted out to wet my lower lip while I crossed my arms over my chest. I couldn’t decide if I should close the gap between us or run screaming down the beach in the opposite direction.

I realized I’d liked it better when he wa
s telling me he wasn’t interested. Disinterest was insulting but safe. That look scared me.

Sometimes I was lulled into thinking he was something he wasn’t
by his relaxed posture. Then he looked at me like this and my heart wanted to relocate out of my chest as I waited to see if he’d act on it.

He
was the type of man that could consume me. After a man like him, I didn’t know if there would be a
me
left. The scariest part of all was, when he looked at me like that, I wasn’t sure if I cared.

“
You know, it’s probably better to keep track of where he is.” I pointed toward Maxwell. “Keep looking at him.”

There was a slight hesitation, a decision being made. I held my breath while I waited to see what he would do. He turned back toward Maxwell and the tension broke.

“What should I do?” I asked.

“
Wade in and try and get a little closer.” He laid out a couple of beach towels he had tucked under his arm, provided by the guards. He sat on one of the towels.

I kicked off my
sandals and unknotted the cover. “Why am I the one going?”

“
Because I can’t pick up anything from him. It would be good if we could get a clue why Suit wants him.”

“
You can tell from over here?”

“
Yes.”

“
Then shouldn’t I?”

“
No. You haven’t been doing it long enough and you’ve got too much human left on you to be that sensitive.”

I nodded. It made sense.

I watched Maxwell as I waded into the water, getting as close as I could but not close enough to arouse suspicion. I got about ten feet from him but I wasn’t picking up anything. I lingered in my spot but it was futile. I waited until he started paddling out to catch a wave. Whatever Fate thought I was supposed to pick up on wasn't happening.

I waded back out toward the beach where Fate was reclined on the towel, shirt still on.
It’s not like he was pale and maybe had a fear of burning. What was with the shirt?

“
Anything?” he asked, eyes still fixed on Maxwell.

“
No.”

He stood and grabbed
the towels, not elaborating any further.

“
Well?”

“
Either his karma doesn't swing strong enough in either direction or it's you.” He started walking back to where we had initially entered the beach and I followed.

“
And?”

“
I'm guessing it's you.”

Fate stepped through the doors first.

“I’ll be right there,” I yelled when I lost my sandal in the sand. I grabbed my shoe and just as I was stepping through the door, I heard him.

“
See you soon, Camilla,” I spun around, just as the door was shutting, to see Suit standing there.

I turned to find Fate, but he was getting in his car. He paused half in, half out.
“What?” he asked.

I looked over my shoulder, the doors gone.
“Nothing.”

I pulled my legs up under me on the bench as I watched Charlie walk out of his office
. He looked tired as he got into his car.

Did he look thinner
, too? Yes. He did. He needed to eat. He was always working crazy hours. I used to bring him dinner, a lot of the time. Who'd make sure he ate now?

I wondered if he'd been sleeping. I knew it was hard for me. Between Fate and this job, now I had Suit tracking me and I was too afraid to even tell anyone. Like Fate had said, there was no jury here. Harold hated me and Fate didn’t trust me. I’d just have to take my chances, keep my own counsel and hopef
ully get out of here before the situation escalated.

Charlie's car was pulling out of the driveway when I heard footsteps
approaching.

“
You've got to stop.”

Fate was standing behind me but I didn't turn.
I just wanted—no, needed— some time alone, away from them and everything to do with the office.

“
I'm not looking for company, right now.”

Instead of leaving, he sat down next to me.

“This is the problem. And your problem is becoming my problem.”

“
He doesn't even notice me.”

“
That's not what I'm talking about. This is why you aren't picking up as much as you should. I bet this is why you couldn’t pick up on Maxwell. If Suit wants him, there’s something off and, for good or for bad, I bet it’s strong enough to show up in his karma. You can’t pick up on it because you can't let go.”

“
So what?”

“
You said you were leaving at the end of the trial period, correct?”

“
I told you I was.”

“
Then I only have a small window to figure out who this guy is. You’re my best lead and you’re screwing this up.”

I edged over
, further away from where he was sitting next to me. “How does coming here screw up anything?”

“
The more you cling to your mortal life, the duller your senses and the less you pick up. Why do you think everyone knows something’s off with you the second they see you? You practically reek of human.”

I could hear the disgust in his voice and
, if anything, it made me want to cling harder. I didn’t want to be like them.

“
I thought you wanted to get your killer?”

“
Don’t think you can throw those words out at me and I’m going to hop up and do whatever you want. What am I, an idiot? Just because we didn’t get a read off of that Maxwell guy doesn’t mean it has anything to do with this. I could never visit Charlie again and I might still stink of human. I don’t know what your problem is with this, but it’s your problem. I agreed to cooperate, and I am. Now back off.”

I grabbed my purse and
walked away from Fate.

“
He wasn’t even your soul mate,” he said as he got up and followed me.

“
You have no idea what we were to each other.”

“
Stop lying.”

“
I'm not lying to you.”

“
Lying to me isn't the problem. I know it's bullshit and I make my arrangements accordingly. You're lying to yourself and that is an issue.” He stepped around and stopped right in front of me.

“
Come on.”

“
What?”

“
I want to show you something.”

“
What?”

“
I didn't want to do this, but it’s getting out of hand.”

When I didn'
t move he grabbed my hand and yanked me after him.

“
You're so bossy!” We walked to his car, where he opened the door for me and waited.

“
Where are we going?”

“
You'll see. Get in.”

Charlie had left for the day so I didn’t care enough to fight about staying. If I had to go see something with him to get him to back off, it was easier to just go.

I sighed extra loud, voicing my annoyance, but I got in the car.

We drove several blocks away and parked on the street. Walking between the houses to beach access, the sun was just starting to set.
We stopped in front of a two-story beachfront house.

“
Would you mind explaining what we’re doing at the beach?”

“
Now we wait.”

“
I’m not standing out here all night. Five minutes and I’m leaving.”

He looked down at
his watch. “Only need two.” He tapped my shoulder and nodded to the house we were in front of, just as the sliders to the deck were opening.

When
I saw the intense expression on Fate’s partly shadowed face, the panic started. I felt lightheaded and my legs were weak, but I didn’t tell him that.

“
I want to leave. I’m not into peeping tom scenes.”

He grabbed my wrist when I went to walk away.
I tugged at my arm but he wasn't budging.

“
You already know, don't you?” It sounded like an accusation.

I swallowed hard but didn't answer. He wasn't
going to let it go so I was forced to let this play out. I looked at the house.

An elegant brunette walked out
, followed by Charlie, both with a glass of wine in their hands. I knew all of Charlie's friends, and I didn’t know her.

I stood transfixed
, watching as the woman walked over to the railing and put her glass down on it. Charlie followed and placed his beside hers. Then, the woman's back to the railing, Charlie placed his hands on either side of her. I’d never taken a real beating in my life but I knew I would’ve preferred the physical pain compared to what it felt like now. I watched as he leaned in closer until there was no possible excuse left that could be made. His fingers threaded through her hair as hers found his shoulders.

They were oblivious to us watching.
Why wouldn’t they be? We were just two strangers, enjoying the beach on a nice evening.

“
And he didn't just meet her. But you knew that, didn't you?” Fate was angry and I didn’t understand why. I was the one watching my fiancé with another woman.

“
Do you get some strange satisfaction out of this?” I looked at the ocean, the beach, the dunes that ran along it, and finally I looked at Fate. I looked anywhere but back at Charlie.

“
I don't understand,” he said, and I could tell he meant it.

“
Why do you care? Yes, I knew. I didn't have any facts or details, but I knew the way women always know.”

“
Why did you stay?” His hands gripped my shoulders.

“
I don't know.” His hands tightened on me as he forced me to watch them on the deck together. They weren’t kissing anymore, but he still had an arm around her as she nestled into his side.

“
He met her two months ago. She's his soul mate. I can't speculate on what he would’ve done if you had lived. I don't know if he would've gone through with the marriage or not. I just know she is who he’s supposed to be with and who he'll live out the rest of his life with. And now that they’ve found each other, even if they are reborn, they’ll search for each other until the end of eternity.”

“
Thank you. I'm not sure I could've gone on another moment without being aware of that.”

“
You put Charlie on a pedestal and pretended your relationship was something that, deep down, you knew it wasn't. It was a lie.”

Why was he doing this to me? I just wanted to get away
, but I wasn’t going to struggle with Fate and have him see how much it was bothering me. “Did you have to cultivate being this much of an ass?”

“
I don't understand. With your work, you gave it every ounce of yourself, but your relationships are always disasters.”

“
I'm dead now, so I guess it doesn't matter.”

“
You still don't get it. I'm not just talking about this life, I'm talking about your last ten. You've done this over and over, and over again. It's exhausting to watch, even as a bystander. For fuck’s sake, just once, don't settle for this crap!”

He finally let go of my shoulders and I moved quickly to leave. I didn’t care how it looked anymore
, or if I appeared weak. Right now, I was—and I needed to get away from here and Charlie and the harsh reality I’d avoided until now.

Then he was in my path.
“You could have so much more and yet you accepted this? Why? Every other aspect of your life you live to the fullest, but then with him you take everything that you are and try and squeeze it into the little box so that you blend. Some people aren't meant to follow the crowd, they're born to lead it.”

“
That's all fine and dandy but, in case you forgot, I'm. Dead. So what crowd am I leading now?” I went to move around him, in the direction of the car, but he stepped in front of me. “You know what I want
,
right now? For you to get the fuck out of my way.
” I was on complete information overload as I watched him standing before me. There was a glimmer in his eye. I was about to lose it on a level I'd never done in my life and I got the distinct impression he was happy about it.

“
You want to know why I stayed? Because I wanted it to work. Because it should’ve worked. Charlie was perfect for me in every way and yet, just like every other guy I ever dated, something didn’t click and I was tired of it. I was too this or too that. So I tried to become what I thought he wanted. Is that what you want to know? I was tired. I. Gave. Up.”

Somehow, whatever I said in my frustration finally calmed him down and he
stepped aside.

“
You're a real sicko,” I said to him as I headed to the car. He stayed behind a few minutes before he followed, as if acknowledging that I might need some space.

I’d avoided
the truth when I was alive and now that I was dead and it was too late, I couldn’t escape it anymore. I felt myself wondering who she was, what was so special about her, what could she give him that I hadn't; but I stopped myself. It didn't matter. I wasn’t even human anymore, what purpose did it serve?

The driver's
side door shut and the engine revved to life. He wasn't saying anything at all now and I was grateful.

Neither of us spoke until we got back to the house and were walking
through the kitchen.

“
You look like you could use a drink.”

I nodded. He was absolutely correct. I took the glass he handed me and threw it back in one gulp, which I had to struggle to keep down.

He refilled it for me. “If it helps, I do think he cared for you.”

“
To be honest, it doesn't.” I held out my glass for him to top it off then I hopped onto the counter.

He leaned a hip against it a few feet away.
“You need to understand something, people have different life forces. Sometimes a stronger life force overwhelms the weaker ones.”

“
What’s your next line? I have no friends because they’re all secretly jealous of me?”

He smiled and let out what
sounded like a little laugh. “Actually, you have no friends because I can be a bit of an ass.” He moved over and topped off my glass but didn't move back again.

“
Yeah, forgot to thank you for that.” I laughed at the absurdity of it all and then threw back the last of my glass.

I scooted off the counter and walked toward his room.
“I'm going to bed now, in your room. Please wait until I fall asleep?”

“
Just tell me one thing and I'll never bring Charlie up again.”

The offer was too tempting to turn down.

“Why would you keep watching him when you knew what the situation really was?”

I took a shaky breath before I forced the words from my mouth. Hearing them acknowledged it in a way that was hard to run from.
“Because I miss my life.”

“
But why not watch your old work or your parents?”

“
He was the only part of it I could bear to see.”

***

I fell asleep easily but woke an hour later. I wasn't alone anymore. He wasn't touching me, but I could feel his heat.

And
, for some reason, it made me feel more alone than ever. I turned on my side, facing away from him.

“
You okay?”

I hadn't realized he was awake.
“I'm fine.”

“
You don't sound like it.”