Kate's Vow (Vows) (14 page)

“Oh, for goodness’ sake,” Kate said impatiently. “I’m not going to fire you.”

“There are worse things than being fired,” Zelda replied huffily.

“Like being yelled at when you were only trying to help?”

Her secretary’s eyes widened. “For starters,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” Kate apologized. “I’ve been a mess ever since Mom’s wedding. I can’t really explain why, but that’s no excuse for taking it out on you.”

“You mean because you and Ellen are only half sisters?”

With a sinking sensation in the pit of her stomach, Kate regarded her in astonishment. “How in the world did you know that?”

“Your sister explained.”

Irritation flashed through Kate, followed almost at once by resignation. It was Ellen’s story to tell or to keep secret. Obviously she’d needed an ally in her battle to get past Kate’s hostility and had trusted Zelda enough to share the information with her. As thrown as she might be feeling at this instant, Kate knew that Ellen’s trust had not been misplaced. For all of her off-beat personality, Zelda was as loyal and discreet as she was compassionate.

“I see,” Kate said slowly. “Then you understand why I’ve been unusually stressed out.”

Zelda shook her head. “Not really. But if you were feeling so bummed out, why didn’t you just talk about it?”

Why, indeed, Kate thought. Wasn’t that the advice she parceled out almost hourly to her clients before she agreed to handle a divorce? Wasn’t that what she’d been advocating that David and Davey do? Talk out their problems, discuss what was on their minds honestly, and when that didn’t work, keep talking until it cut through the barriers. She tried to analyze her reluctance to follow her own advice.

Perhaps it had something to do with a lifetime of feeling in control, of feeling absolute certainty about her place in the scheme of things. She’d always credited her parents for giving her that kind of self-confidence by creating a secure environment, filled with love. The discovery that her world was not at all what she’d thought it to be had caused her to question everything about how she fit in. Nothing had prepared her for the loneliness and desperation of that kind of uncertainty.

The blow had also thrown into doubt everything in her universe. Subconsciously she’d apparently put family on a back burner in order to pursue her career, confident in the stability of their love. When that confidence had been shaken, her priorities had been turned topsy-turvy. Talking about it would only have made it seem more real.

“I guess I was hoping that with time, the feelings would go away,” she admitted to Zelda. “I suppose I even felt guilty for begrudging Mom her happiness and Ellen her new father.”

Zelda gazed heavenward. “Do you hear that, Lord? The woman is human.” She regarded Kate with a shake of her head. “Must have been a rude awakening, huh?”

“You mean Ellen’s news?”

“No. I mean discovering that not every single thing in life is within your control.”

Kate grinned ruefully. “Yeah,” she admitted. “It was. Anyway, I am sorry for taking my mood out on you. Now send Mrs. Mason in.”

Zelda nodded. “By the way, Davey called from school. He wants to come by when he gets out. I told him you could fit him in. Okay?”

Kate frowned. “Did he say what it was about?”

“No.”

“How did he sound?”

“Like he’d lost his best friend.”

Kate muttered a curse and wondered what had happened in the week since she’d last seen Davey and his father. With one of her cases going into court this week, she’d been swamped with preparations and hadn’t checked on them. Besides, she’d been so sure that the tension between them was easing and that David understood the importance of rebuilding that relationship. Even as she thought about their fragile rapport and its need for nurturing, it occurred to her that she had some bridges to mend herself.

As if she’d read her mind, Zelda said, “By the way, don’t you think you should reschedule that lunch with Ellen?”

“I could almost swear I did not hire you to be my conscience,” Kate retorted.

“No,” her secretary agreed. “It’s a bonus.”

Kate laughed. “Call her. Set it up. See if Mom wants to come along.”

“Perfect,” Zelda said approvingly. “Then maybe she’ll relax and finish her honeymoon.”

“Is there anything about my family life you don’t know?”

“Not much,” Zelda said cheerfully. “I’ll send Mrs. Mason in.”

As it turned out, Mrs. Mason was less in need of legal counseling that she was of a friendly ear for her complaints about the philandering Mr. Mason. Kate suggested she make notes for a tell-all memoir that would embarrass the jerk so badly he’d never want to show his face again at Musso and Frank’s, the old film industry hangout on Hollywood Boulevard which had managed to maintain its character despite other changes to the neighborhood. Mrs. Mason’s eyes lit up at the suggestion.

“I think I’ll buy one of those little tape recorders on the way home,” she said, then added with a certain amount of glee, “Just seeing me with one of those ought to terrify him.”

Personally Kate thought the bill for a month at a fancy health spa would terrify him more, but clearly Mrs. Mason wanted public revenge more than expensive relaxation.

No sooner had the middle-aged woman gone off in search of a tape recorder than Zelda announced Davey’s arrival. To Kate’s regret, the boy who walked into her office looked much as he had on his first visit. Too neat. Too polite. Too lonely.

“Hi,” she said. “What brings you by?”

“I just wanted to visit,” he said in a dull tone. He regarded her uncertainly. “Is that okay?”

“Of course it’s okay. My favorite client can always be squeezed in.” She watched as he paced the room, looking at pictures, touching the small bronze sculptures she’d chosen as decorations. He seemed particularly fascinated by her Remington cowboy. “How are things at home?” she asked finally.

“Okay, I guess.”

“Davey,” she said insistently, waiting until he turned to face her. “The truth.”

“I thought it was going to be better,” he said finally. “I really did. Especially after we went to the beach and everything.”

“And the studio,” she said.

His chin lifted stubbornly. “But I had to remind him and remind him about that.”

“Sweetheart, it was only a week or so after the trip to the beach. Even the very best parents in the whole world can’t plan special outings like that for every single day.” It was a reasonable excuse, but she could see from Davey’s expression that he didn’t care about grown-up logic.

“He missed my first ball game, too.”

“Did you remind him?”

Davey shrugged and Kate guessed that he hadn’t, that he’d wanted his father to come through on his own.

“It’s going to take time to work all this out,” she told him. “It won’t happen overnight.”

“I know, but we had a list for all that other stuff. Like breakfast. We were supposed to have breakfast together on the weekends until school started. When I got up Saturday, Dad had gone to the office. Sunday he was out in the yard telling some guy how he wanted him to cut the grass or something. School started Monday, and he hasn’t been there for breakfast once.” Those brown eyes, which telegraphed his hurt feelings, stared at Kate. “I don’t think he likes spending time with me.”

Only recently having resolved her own feelings of insecurity, Kate could sympathize, even though she knew he was every bit as wrong about his father as she had been about her family. At least she had been old enough to understand what was going on at an intellectual level, even when she hadn’t been able to overcome the hurt. Davey was only ten.

“What would you like me to do?” she asked, wanting him to sense that he had control over the steps she was taking. He needed desperately to believe that at least one grown-up was taking him seriously. Hugs and platitudes wouldn’t do it this time.

“Maybe we should go ahead with the divorce.”

Kate regarded him seriously, her heart aching for him. “Now let’s think about that a minute. Your dad promised to make some changes, didn’t he?”

“Yeah, but he’s not changing at all.”

“No,” she corrected, “he did make some. Shouldn’t we give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe a little more time?”

“I suppose,” he conceded grudgingly. “But then what do we do?”

“I’ll talk to him, if you like. I’ll remind him that we have a binding, legal agreement, and that he has an obligation to live up to the terms of that agreement.”

“But what if he doesn’t?”

“Then you and I and he will sit down and discuss the alternatives.”

“You mean the divorce,” he said dully.

Kate went over and pulled him into a hug. “Sweetheart, I can almost guarantee it will not come to that,” she said firmly. Not if there was a way in hell she could prevent it, up to and including personally supervising every single activity David was supposed to be sharing with his son.

“How’d you get here?” she asked Davey.

“Mrs. Larsen brought me. She thinks I went to a movie with my friends, though. I’d better go back over so I’m there when she comes to pick me up.” He regarded Kate hopefully. “You’ll talk to Dad?”

“Today,” she promised. “And I’ll call you later.”

His expression brightened and he hugged her back finally. “Thanks, Kate.”

“You bet, kiddo.”

The minute he had left, she buzzed Zelda. “Call David Winthrop and tell him I want to see him in my office.” She wanted him on her turf this time. Her
professional
turf, so there could be no mistaking the seriousness of her intentions. This was not a place where they could get sidetracked by easy charm and distracting kisses.

“When?” Zelda asked.

“Today.”

“But it’s already after four.”

“That’s okay. I’ll wait until he can get here. Don’t take no for an answer.”

She paced until Zelda buzzed her back.

“He’ll be here at six-thirty. Is that okay?”

“Yes. Thanks, Zelda.”

“Want me to stick around to take notes?”

“Nope. It won’t be necessary,” she said, then changed her mind. “Actually, if you don’t mind staying, I think it would be a good idea for Mr. David Winthrop to catch on that we’re playing for keeps with this.”

“I’ll wait,” Zelda said in a tone that suggested that she was at least as interested in getting a look at David Winthrop as she was in being a dutiful secretary.

David showed up five minutes early. He did not look overjoyed at having been summoned across town at the conclusion of one of the hottest September days on record. He looked mussed and exhausted and irritated. For about ten seconds Kate actually felt sorry for him. Then she remembered why he was there and gathered her resolve. She couldn’t let her skittering pulse and sympathetic reaction affect her obligation to Davey.

“Would you mind telling me what is so all-fired important that it couldn’t wait until tomorrow?” he demanded. He glared at Zelda, who scowled right back at him. “And what is she doing in here?”

“She’s here to take notes. I want this conversation on the record.”

He glowered at her. “For what?”

“So I can demonstrate to the court that there was an attempt at mediation.”

“The court?” he repeated incredulously. “Have you lost your mind?”

Despite her determination to remain objective and impersonal, she couldn’t help identifying with what he must be feeling. Mixed in with the anger was no doubt a good bit of humiliation at having his relationship with his son under public attack. Figuring she’d made her point about the seriousness of the situation, she glanced at Zelda. “You can go. I’ll make notes and you can type them up tomorrow.”

“Are you sure?”

Kate nodded. When Zelda had gone, she looked at David. “I hope you appreciate the fact that I shouldn’t have done that. I thought it might be more constructive, just this once, if you and I talked alone.”

“About what?” he snapped, still clearly defensive and obviously feeling besieged. Whatever chemistry had sparked between them in the past appeared to have given way to pure resentment. She couldn’t help regretting that and wondering if there would ever come a time when things would be simple.

“We need to discuss your son,” she retorted firmly. “Remember him?”

He groaned and sank into a chair. “Not this again.” He shoved his fingers through his already tousled hair. “I thought we’d resolved this.”

“So did I,” Kate said evenly. “Unfortunately, Davey stopped by to see me today. According to him, nothing seems to have changed.”

“How can you say that? We spent a whole damned weekend with you. We toured the studio.”

Kate winced at his beleaguered tone.

“What the hell do you want?” he demanded. “I’m on a tight deadline. I’m doing the best I can.”

Actually, he sounded about at the end of his patience and his energy. Kate’s resolve wavered under a flood of empathy. She’d had stretches of weeks, even months, exactly like this, with no time even to pause to catch her breath. She could identify completely with the tension he was obviously under and, for that matter, the choices he had made.

“Are you really trying?” she said, but more gently. She owed it to Davey to get the point across, no matter how much she might relate to David’s dilemma.

“Yes, dammit. You have no idea what it’s like getting crews to bring this job in on time, dealing with a director who’s had a sudden brainstorm that changes the set for one entire scene, handling a producer who’s going ballistic over the budget. I’m at the end of my rope here. I don’t need you adding to it.”

The last of Kate’s indignation on Davey’s behalf faltered. She looked into David’s tired eyes and saw a man just struggling to survive.

“I’m sorry,” she said, resisting the urge to walk over and massage away the obvious tension in his shoulders. “But we do have a problem here. Davey doesn’t understand all this. All he sees is that you made promises and now you’re not keeping them.” At the risk of incurring another explosion, she added, “It’s not as if he has anyone else at home he can depend on.”

His expression went absolutely still. “Don’t you think I know that?” he whispered.

He regarded her with such absolute misery that something inside her shifted. She couldn’t think of any way to respond that wouldn’t jeopardize the stand she had to take for Davey’s sake. Instead, she waited and listened as he struggled to find his own way out of the mess.