Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1) (52 page)

And lastly, we talk about Tris. He tells me how things have changed with their friendship over the last few years. That ever since their time together at the mansion with Adrienne, things have been tense between them. I suspect I know what it is, and wonder if Parker is at all aware of the fact that Tris has feelings for him.

“He’s been trying to push me over the edge for a while,” he confesses.

“He has feelings for you, doesn’t he?” I decide to ask. I’m not sure how he will react to the question, but he’s being so open right now, I might get a straight answer out of him and I don’t want to miss the opportunity.

“Did he tell you that?” he asks, his eyes narrowing.

“He didn’t have to. I know jealousy when I see it.”

“Is that… fuck, don’t tell me he did this to you because you called him out on that?”

I sigh, and after a moment, nod my head.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”

“Did you know?”

Parker shakes his head. “Not till the day he attacked you,” he tells me. I wait for him to explain further, but when he doesn’t, I let the topic drop. It’s clear that whatever happened between them is still bothering him, and I don’t want to pry. He’ll tell me when he’s ready, he always does.

I'm at a complete loss as to why Parker would choose to spend his time with a horrible person like Tris, though he doesn't make any excuses for it, their friendship was built on a foundation of drugs and debauchery and over the years it has disintegrated piece by piece. Tris has been trying to hurt Parker for a while in any way that he possibly can and, unfortunately, I was an obvious target for that.

He also tells me that Ellie is not the girl who he had almost slept with during the time I was with Bree. I’m glad, but I'm still hurt that he never told me anything about her since we’ve gotten back together. She's obviously a good friend to him and someone he confides in. I'm honest about my feelings with him and confess that I'm a little bit jealous of his connection with her.

“You have nothing to worry about,” he says softly, kissing the center of my forehead. “Ellie’s been rooting for you since the day I told her that I saw the love of my life kissing her best friend at school and it destroyed me.”

“You said that to her?”

He nods. “Yep. Right after I went to talk to you at Bree's house that day and you made it very clear to me that you and Bree were an item and that you wanted nothing more to do with me. I went to see Ellie then.”

Apparently Ellie had an inside scoop on what was going on with Evan and the feelings he had developed for Bree, so she encouraged Parker to make a move to get me back even though he had already decided at that point that he didn't want to compete with a girl for my affection. He was jealous of Bree and completely destroyed that I had moved on with her, but he wasn't about to fight her for me.

So, I guess, the night he came here to explain everything to me about who he is and what he does and how sorry he is for how we turned out, wasn’t a coincidence, he knew Bree and I were going to be having problems soon enough, and he was using that knowledge to his advantage.

At first I’m pissed at him about this because I feel like he should have told me what he knew from the start. But it doesn’t take long for me to remember that he did tell me shortly after that night, and I was desperate not to believe him. Sometimes these things just need to take their own course, and I think Parker knew that.

On the morning of the class trip, I look around my room, feeling overwhelmed. My stuff is scattered all over my bed waiting to be packed for our weeklong trip to Madigan City, but I just can’t bring myself to start. Everyone seems pretty excited about this trip, but I honestly couldn’t care less. The only reason I even wanted to go was because it was a great opportunity for Bree and me to have alone time together. Now that we aren’t together anymore, I’m not even sure why I’m still going. I can only imagine how awkward it will be for the two of us, sharing a room together after everything we’ve been through these last few months.

I walk over to the bathroom to gather my makeup and hair accessories just as Parker returns to the apartment. He’d left to pack up his own bags and promised he’d only be gone twenty minutes. He didn’t lie.

“That was fast,” I say as I’m walking out of the bathroom with all of my toiletries.

He drops his bag on the table and smiles. “I told you I would be fast.”

I wrap my arms around his waist, looking up into his eyes. I love those eyes. I can’t get enough of them. I push myself on my tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the lips. He kisses me back, holding his lips to mine a few seconds longer than I had originally intended. I feel the tingles his kiss gives me run throughout my entire body, and I sigh contently the instant he moves away.

“Almost ready to go?” he asks, slipping off his boots and beginning toward my room. He sees the mess of things all over the bed and turns to look at me questioningly. “Something wrong?” he asks with a hint of concern in his voice.

“Did you bring the condoms?” I ask, attempting to change the subject as I dig around for some hot lingerie. I'm determined to have a sexy weekend with him in spite of the pain I'm in, but he's not as determined, unfortunately.

“I brought them, but I’m not sure about us having sex just yet, baby. You’re still in a lot of pain.”

I force a little smile. “You’re always looking out for me.”

Parker’s brow creases with worry. He takes a seat on the messy bed, scooting his back up against the headboard, and motions for me to join him. “Come here,” he says. I sit on the bed between his legs and carefully scoot myself backward so that my back is pushed up tightly to his chest. He instinctively wraps his arms around me, being sure to keep the embrace loose so that he doesn't hurt my still sore body.

“Tell me what’s going on.”

I shrug, not wanting to make it into a big deal. “I’m sharing a room with Bree tonight and for the rest of the week. It doesn’t feel right. You can’t be ok with it. Are you?

“Well,” he begins, taking a deep breath and then exhaling. “Do you still have feelings for Bree?”

“I care about her,” I tell him honestly, and I feel his body tense up slightly at the confession, “but I have no desire to be with her in that way anymore. All I want is you.”

He pushes his forehead to the back of my head and hugs his arms around my neck loosely. “So there you go then,” he says as if my words solve everything.

“But it’s not that easy. Bree and I are out of sorts right now. We aren’t even friends. She hasn’t even called or come to see me since the night Tris attacked me. I don’t think I want us to be forced into being friends again. It should happen naturally once we’re ready, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbles, and I can tell by his voice that something I said has made him drift off somewhere in his mind.

“What?” I ask, turning around to face him. I do it slowly because of the pain it gives me, especially when I make sudden movements. Sex may actually be out of the question for this trip, but I’m not about to tell him that he’s right. Not yet anyway.

“Bree came to see you the night you were attacked. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I don’t know what I was thinking…” his voice trails off.

“Are you serious? Why the hell would you keep that from me?” I feel my anger boil to the surface. All this week I thought she didn't give a damn at all, and now I find out she was here the very first night!

He doesn't reply right away, causing me to study his facial features in order to figure out what his motives could have been. I see an uneasiness in his eyes and it catches me off guard. I've never known him to be intimidated by anyone, so I certainly didn't consider my previous relationship with Bree to be something that might worry him.

“She makes me nervous,” he says finally. “She's still in love with you. You know that, right?”

“Parker,” I say with a sigh. I don't know what else to say. I've known for a while that she's still in love with me. It's probably the biggest reason why I'm so nervous about rooming with her for an entire week in Madigan City.

“I know you know that she is,” he says softly, and I can hear the defensiveness in his voice. “I said I’m sorry I didn't tell you, and I’m telling you now…so let’s not fight about it, ok?”

“Are you telling me now because you know she'll probably tell me tonight?” I ask.

“I’m telling you because keeping her away from you won’t keep you with me.” He brushes his hand across my cheek. “But I don't want to lose you again,” he says, and I hear the pain in his voice when he says those last words. So broken… and I did that to him. I literally feel an ache in my heart the instant the words escape his mouth.

“You won’t lose me,” I whisper into his ear, and the corner of his lip curls up into a tiny smile. Such a tough guy with such a wounded heart, his sensitivity and insecurities catch me off guard every single time he makes them visible.

“But I think you should still room with her for the trip,” he adds, “I know she’s with Evan now, but she still has a lot of strong… feelings…for you. Those feelings might still be there for you too, but you won't know it if you keep avoiding her.”

Oh God…I don't like the sound of that at all. Everything he just said right now is very reminiscent of what I'd originally said to Bree the night Evan kissed her. I told her I wanted her to explore her feelings for him, I told her to be his friend. I did this hoping she'd come back to me after all was said and done. I was stupid.

“It's not about exploring my feelings. It's about making a choice, and I've made mine.”

“But are you sure about that choice? What if you wake up one morning and realize that all I am is a rebound and it's Bree who you really want to be with?”

I shake my head stubbornly, “Bree was the rebound.” I say with certainty. “I didn't know it at the time, but it's the truth. You're all I want, Parker. All. I. Want.” I take his face into both of my hands and plant my lips firmly onto his. I know that he doesn't fully believe me, but I can feel the hope emerge in him as he begins to kiss me back.

When I ran away from him that night on the beach, I left him with so much insecurity. He hides it well, but behind that tough guy exterior is a little boy who just needs someone to love him. I want to be that someone. I
need
to be that someone… just like he needs to be mine.

“Then I guess there's nothing for either of us to worry about, is there?” he says, breaking free from my lips and kissing my neck with his beautiful mouth. He takes in a deep, and steady breath as he gathers himself for his next words. “You'll room with Bree… and we'll be just fine.”

I squeeze his hand. We'll be just fine.

Bree

“This is crazy,” I say to Spencer who's sitting next to me on one of the tour buses our school rented for the class trip. He has his seat reclined and is lying back comfortably as he scrolls through
Facebook
on his phone.

“What's crazy?” he mutters, distracted.

I sigh and yank the phone from his hand. “Evan's right over there and he still won't even look in my direction. He says we’re not broken up, but he could have fooled me. What's the point of being with someone if they won't even talk to you?”

“Did you try talking to him?”

“Of course I did. I’ve been messaging him on
Facebook
all week since he can’t text with his broken phone. He never replied to me, even though all the messages are marked as
seen
,” I say bitterly.

“So maybe he needs space,” Spencer says, grabbing his phone back from my hand.

“It's been a week!”

I glance behind me at the back of the bus where Skylar and Parker are sitting cuddled up next to one another, completely oblivious to the fact that everyone on this bus is talking about her very visible injuries and how Parker is the one who gave them to her.

Idiots.

And then I keep seeing people looking at me as if to say, 'Why are you letting her be with him?' Like they know anything about it anyway.

“I know he didn't hurt her,” a female voice says, breaking into my thoughts as though she'd been reading my mind. I face forward in my seat and see Adrienne Ambrose standing before me. What the hell does she want? I've never spoken a word to this girl my entire life and now she's coming over to me and striking up a conversation like we're friends?