Keep You From Harm (19 page)

“Nothing is going on. We’re just friends.”

He darts a skeptical look at me.

“I’m not lying to you, Kyle,” I state, feeling angry at his distrust even though his instincts aren’t exactly wrong. The fact that nothing is going on doesn’t mean Lucas and I both don’t want it to.

This seems to deflate him. “I know you’re not,” he says.

“Your nose will grow if you lie just like Pinocchio’s.” Penelope points at my nose.

“That’s right. Lying is very bad,” I say.

She nods gravely at me.

“Eat your dinner,” Chloe instructs Penelope, helping her to spear a bite with her fork.

“Be back by ten,” Kyle states.

I nod my agreement and hurry through my dinner.

I
dash outside when Lucas pulls up, and I already have my hand on the car door handle when he appears beside me. “I was going to get that for you,” he says. The low, rumbling sound of his voice sends a shiver through me.

He’s wearing a long-sleeved black pullover that stops just above the waistline of his low-slung jeans. I’m wearing a black turtleneck sweater with blue jeans, too. I grin as my eyes travel over his clothes and finally up to his strong jaw line and mussed hair. “We must be on the same wavelength tonight,” I say, gesturing between our matching outfits.

He gives me a stiff smile. “That would be a nice change.”

I study him and wonder whether Myles told him the truth about Chad not being my prom date. If so, I would think he’d be toning down the attitude.

I step up into the truck and let him the close the door after me feeling too tired to play
‘Guess my mood swing’
with him tonight.“Do you know who Desmond is?” I ask once we’re moving.

“The drummer. He used to go to our school. I think he dropped out.”

The ride continues silently after that. I turn to watch the downtown area pass by the window.

“I got asked a lot about my missing cast today,” he says causing my eyes to land on his toned forearm.

“What did you tell people?” I let my eyes wonder to his face, so handsome in profile.

He glances at me. “That the doctors screwed up and it was never really broken.”

“How did you get the cast off?”

“I used my dad’s power tools, mostly the buzz saw. Liam helped me.”

My eyes widen with worry that he used a saw on himself, but his perfectly fine looking arm stops me from commenting.

His hand opens and closes on the steering wheel. “Can I ask you something?”

I immediately tense up. When he asks permission to ask a question, that’s a bad sign. Despite my worry, I nod.

“What does it feel like when you’re healing someone? Does it hurt?”

A knot forms in my stomach. After spending my life not talking to anyone about this other than my mother, it feels wrong to do so now. But it’s too late to turn back. He already knows my secret, and I know his. Deep down I’m glad. I couldn’t handle this alone anymore and for some reason, I trust Lucas with this even if I’m not sure I can trust him with my heart. “It hurts not to heal,” I finally answer.

He wrinkles his brow as he chances a long look at me.

“When you found me in the stairwell that day, I’d just brushed against someone who was in pretty bad shape. I think it was probably that student, Derek. Because I didn’t use my power to help him and I held it back, I felt sick.”

“Sick? That’s an understatement. You were shaking like a leaf and could barely stand,” he points out.

I nod my head.

“That happens every time you don’t heal a sick person you come into contact with?” His incredulous question is understandable. I couldn’t live my life if that was how it worked.

“I don’t pick-up on all sickness. If someone’s illness hasn’t progressed enough to affect their health, I won’t sense it. But if I’m near a really sick person, one who’s hurting, it can happen when I let my guard down. I know how to block it out most of the time so that I don’t get inundated or overwhelmed. But when I’m upset or stressed, things sneak in sometimes.”

He blinks for a minute as though he’s processing something. “Jesus, that’s why Chris was covered in blood that night but the paramedics couldn’t find a scratch on him. You pulled him across the road to get him away from the car, and you healed him.”

“It was inadvertent, but yeah, I did. That night definitely ranked pretty high on the stress scale.”

He runs his hand over his cheek and glances at me. I can sense his hesitance. “What is it?” I ask.

“Why didn’t you help Grady? He was in much worse shape than Chris. He still is.”

I barely understand my own abilities. It’s hard finding the right words to explain them to him. “There are rules,” I say.

He continues to glance at me as he drives, waiting for me to expound on that.

“The number one rule is don’t fuck with death.”

Lucas widens his eyes at me, looking too long this time, and swerving at the last minute to stay on the road. He curses under his breath and pulls over to the side, putting the truck into park.

“We need to get to the rehearsal,” I protest, looking pointedly at his dashboard clock.

“There’s time.” Lucas turns his body to face mine. “What do you mean, don’t fuck with death?”

My palms are beginning to sweat with his full attention on me now. I shift uncomfortably in my seat. “I’m not supposed to heal anyone that’s meant to die, as in die imminently. I can’t try to reverse that.”

“Why? What would happen? Would they die anyway?”

“No. I could save them, but death would find someone else close to them, usually a family member, a blood relative. I’ve seen it happen with my mom and then my grandmother told me about it, too. That night, I could feel how close Grady was to death. I knew I couldn’t touch him. If I brought him back from the edge or something, death might find someone else in his family instead. I couldn’t risk it.”

Lucas is slowly shaking his head, and I’m not sure exactly what he’s thinking. “You’re saying death would actually jump to someone else?”

“I know it sounds crazy, but that’s how it works.” I rub my wet palms over my jeans.

He shifts towards me. “You have to learn more about this, Ray. You need to find out where it comes from so you can understand why it works the way it does. It can’t just be a curse. There must be some rationale to it, some higher purpose.”

I stare down at my hands, and I shake my head. “Do you really think my grandmother was meant for a higher purpose?”

He tugs gently on my arm, causing me to look up at him. “People abuse power all the time. That doesn’t mean the power itself is evil, just the wielder of it.”

I smile at him, so smart and reasonable in spite of all I’ve told him. “It doesn’t matter,” I say. “There’s no way to find out more. Mom is gone, and I’m not planning on talking to my grandmother again.”

I notice him studying me. “But Kyle may know something, and there’s always your father. We could try to find out more about him.”

I immediately feel resistant to that idea, and I begin to shake my head.

“Don’t you want to know more?” he asks.

“I don’t want to open a can of worms. My mother warned me away from all this for a reason.” I feel tears of frustration burning behind my eyes, and I clamp down on them. I really do not want to cry in front of him again.

“I’m sure she was trying to protect you, but she also left you in the dark. Is that where you want to stay?” His voice is so calm while my blood pressure is skyrocketing, I can’t help feeling irritated.

I turn to look out the window at the night beyond it. He’s verbalizing all the tiny, whispering thoughts that are already in my head. It’s not hard to ignore everything I don’t know about my abilities. I’ve been doing that forever. It’s harder to ignore the fact that I know virtually nothing about my father. My grandmother contradicted what my mother told me, and my mother lied about so many things. Who knows what the truth is? There is a possibility that my father is alive somewhere, and that he has these abilities and maybe some answers, too.

“Ray, I’m sorry,” he says gently. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I know.”

“You never answered my first question,” Lucas says. “What does it feel like when you heal someone?”

I turn back to him and take a deep breath as mostly inadequate words pop into my head. “It feels pretty incredible. It’s like the thrill of riding on a roller coaster and the peaceful calm of a warm breeze all wrapped into one sensation. It starts as a low vibration that fills me and then flows out of me, and I feel completely aware of everything. Then it changes into bursts of light, like fireworks going off inside me, tingling against all my nerve endings.” I shake my head, feeling silly. “It’s just so hard to describe.”

“It sounds like an orgasm,” Lucas states.

My eyes widen at him.

“I think I understand what you’re saying,” he continues. “That’s how it felt for me, too, while you were doing it, just how you described. It was amazing. I was completely connected to you, like we were sharing something intimate without actually being intimate. How can something that you’re compelled to do, that feels so incredible while you’re doing it, be a curse?”

I clear my throat. “I don’t know.” I can feel his scrutiny of me.

“You’ve had an orgasm, right?”

I bark out an awkward laugh, and I feel my cheeks catch fire. I can’t believe he just asked me that.

“You haven’t. Have you?” His voice is quiet and full of disbelief. “You’re not a virgin. Are you, Ray?”

This is too much. “That’s none of your business. Can we get moving? We’re going to miss the practice.”

“Hunh, you are,” he decides.

I turn my beet red face to him, and see that he’s not laughing at me or even smiling. He’s just staring out the windshield and shaking his head like it’s too hard for him to comprehend me. I don’t know why I’m so embarrassed. I’m not the only seventeen-year-old virgin in the world. “So what if I am,” I state defensively. “Is that a big deal or something?”

He turns his bright gaze on me, and I see nothing but tenderness and affection there. “Yes, it is kind of a big deal. But not for the reason you think.” Then he swings the truck back onto the road and drives on without saying anything further on the subject.

I’m left speechless, staring at his profile.

“T
his
must be it.” Lucas parks behind a line of cars.

If I wasn’t already apprehensive before we arrived, our conversation on the way here has me all worked up. “We need to get in front of him before he spots me in case he tries to take off,” I say, trying to focus on the task at hand.

“Maybe you should wait in the car,” he suggests.

“What?” I gape at him. “I appreciate your coming with me, but this doesn’t really have anything to do with you. Why would I wait in the car?”

His expression hardens. “Gee, I don’t know. In case he’s dangerous or something?”

I’m about to lob a sarcastic remark back at him when I deliberately stop myself. I don’t want to argue with him anymore. “Thank you for your concern, but I’m not waiting in the car.”

“You stay close to me the entire time we’re in there,” he orders, stepping out of the truck without waiting for my response. Rather than bristling, I keep calm, understanding that his sudden gruffness stems from his concern even though I don’t appreciate him taking that tone with me.

I don’t know how the neighbors can stand the noise. From two houses down, I can already hear the vibrating bass and the sound of voices being raised over the din. As we get closer, I notice people mingling on the lawn. All the homes on this street are similar, small single-level clapboard boxes grouped close together. Lucas reaches out to take my hand as we near the door. No one notices or cares about our appearance here. It looks more like a party than a practice.

The front door is propped open, and Lucas steps inside keeping a firm grip on my hand. Immediately, I’m hit by the thick cigarette smoke that fills the hot, heavy air inside. Swimming within it are hordes of people gathered inside the small front rooms of the house. The floor hums beneath my feet with the music the band is playing. I know they’re close but I see no sign of them.

Lucas is slowly snaking us through the crowd. I notice a few familiar faces from school turn in surprise when they spot us. “Hey, man.” An unfamiliar guy claps Lucas on the shoulder as he passes us. Finally, beyond the heads of the crowd, I spot Chad. It looks like the band is playing in an enclosed porch at the back of the house. Lucas stops and leans down to put his mouth by my ear. “I’m going to move us closer. Stay behind me.”

I nod at him, the feel of his warm breath on my ear lingers as he pulls me forward.

I’m bumped and jostled, but we finally end up toward the front of the crowd. I remain hidden behind Lucas as my eyes find Rob Jarvis. The playing is loud but much lower key than it had been in the club. I’m able to really study Jarvis. His long, stringy hair is in a low ponytail and his sleeveless T-shirt reveals a tribal tattoo banded around his narrow bicep. He has a wiry, lanky build. I know it was him that I saw back home. I wish I could call Apollo and ask him what on earth he was talking to Jarvis about. But I’ve never called Apollo, and that’s how he liked it. He had a different phone with a new number every week.

“Hey, it’s the new girl.” Beside me, I notice a couple of the girls from Chad’s lunch table.

“Hi,” I smile hesitantly back at them, suspicious of their friendliness.

They glance at the people around me. “Chad said you were bringing some of your girlfriends. Where are they?” One of the girls yells to me.

“They couldn’t make it. I brought Lucas instead.”

She eyes Lucas before turning assessing eyes on me. “You don’t look like a lesbian.” She raises her voice and some of her spit shoots out in my direction, just missing my face.

In front of me, Lucas starts coughing.
Great
. He definitely heard that.

The girl turns back toward the band as they finish their set and the crowd roars their approval.

“Come on.” Lucas wastes no time, moving us through the remaining people on the porch and placing us directly in front of Jarvis who is bending down to unplug his bass. I notice how new and perfect his instrument is compared to the beat-up ones Chad and the others are using. When he stands, Jarvis glances at me casually, and then he zeros in on my face again before clearing his obvious shock.

“We’d like to talk to you,” Lucas says. He and Jarvis are about the same height and Lucas moves forward when Jarvis takes a step back.

“I can sign stuff for you after I break down my gear,” Jarvis mumbles, concentrating on wrapping wires and moving equipment.

A smiling Chad appears beside me. “Where are your friends?” He has a beer in his hand and his bloodshot eyes tell me it’s not his first.

I glance at Jarvis who seems to be the only member of the band so concerned about getting his gear packed away. “They couldn’t make it. Lucas came with me.”

Chad glances behind me. “Watch out for that one,” he warns. “He’s got a temper. Have you told him you prefer girls?”