Keeper'n Me (30 page)

“Hey-yuh, bagga antlers, lookin' kinda jake, all right. Lookin' kinda jake,” Jackie said, slapping me on the back.

“And another thing,” Stanley added, looking at both Jackie'n me with that wide-eyed head-tilted look he offers up when he's really being thoughtful. “People really been needin' an example of how following our way can help somebody. Really needin' it. Been forever since anyone's really got into it and done it the right way. You comin' here the way you did, lookin' the way you did, actin' like a James Brown Indian and then latchin' onto Keeper'n doing what you been doing the last year's really made a lotta people look. Really made them see what they been missin' themselves. You kinda become a leader, and this feast's all about showin' how much they respect what you been doin' since you were home. That and just wantin' to party like crazy.”

“That's right,” Jackie said. “It's about honoring. See, us we find it hard to just come out'n say things like we're prouda you, we respect you. Timid that way us, I guess. Rather show it. Means more to us an' to the one we're doin' the showin' to. Always been our way to show the things we feel about people instead of sayin' them. Ceremony, you know. Old people say that the words disappear too fast'n we sometimes forget we said them. But displayin' our pride and respect for people is gonna last forever. You'll remember this feast as long's you live. Us too. Watch.”

“Hmmpfh,” I said. “Who woulda figured?”

“Figured what?” they said together.

“Figured I'd be being held up as an example of living the Indian way. Didn't mean to. I was just doing what felt right all along.”

“That's what it's about,” Jackie said. “All you ever need to do to follow our way's to do what feels right.”

“Hey-yuh,” Stanley said. “All you gotta know. Ceremony'n ritual'n customs are just there to help you go deeper once you feel that way. Go deeper, learn more. All starts with feelin' right inside about something.”

Jackie said, “You follow that teaching and you'll be lookin' jake all the time. Lookin' jake on the inside's a whole lot better'n bein' all cool-lookin' outside. You know that by now.”

“Hey-yuh,” I said, looking at my brothers with pride and doing a quick James Brown spin. “But damn, brother, can I help it if I be lookin' jake all the time on the outside too?”

We laughed.

“Lookin' jake. Hmmpfh,” Stanley said. “Still ain't got no butt. How are you gonna look jake when you ain't got no butt?”

“That's right,” Jackie said. “Look at you, my man. Narrow-assed Ojibway. Straight line from your shoulder blades to the back for your heels. Can't look too jake like that!”

“Reeee-leee!” Stanley said, stretching the word out on purpose to sound like some of the old ladies and eyeing
my rear end. “Ho-leeee! Gettin' kinda ripped off when you buy jeans, ain't ya?”

“Whaddaya mean, ripped off?”

“Well, it's like your friend Lonnie told you in T'rana—there's gotta be two square feet of unused denim back there!”

We laughed again, wrestling around and collapsing onto the ground. The three of us. My friends'n me. My brothers'n me. My family.

When the laughter and wrestling died down we looked each other over and stood up kinda embarrassed.

“Ah-hem … well … done a good jobba spookin' any deer in this neck of the woods. Better move on down the line a little,” Jackie said.

“Yeah, right. Gotta get one anyway,” Stanley said.

“Hey. Did you guys know that I knew how to make a deer stew before I even got home here?”

“No way. City guy like you? Hmmpfh,” Jackie said, all disgusted.

“No, really,” I said. “I knew how all along.”

“How do you make a deer stew, then?”

“Sneak up on him and whisper in his ear, it's hunting season, it's hunting season. He'll stew over that for days!”

They chased me into the bush uttering ugly threats.

Me I like a good feast. Get to be my age there's only a couple things really get to be important. One's a good story'n the other's free food. Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, them feasts are good things
.
Mostly on accounta they feed the old ones first. Heh, heh, heh. Sorry. Kinda gettin' all excited just thinkin' about it. But them feasts are good an' us we been doin' that long time now. Feastin' an' celebratin's big part of the Indyun way. Any time there was somethin' to be recognized or even any time the people all wanted to get together they had a feast. Wanna keep an' Indyun happy, keep him round, I always say. Heh, heh, heh
.

I remember when I was a boy. Us we feasted lots. Change of ev'ry season, birth of kids, weddin's, good hunt, good fishin', anythin' was good reason to celebrate together. Lotta things changed real big when we got too hooked into the speed of the outside. Got too hung up in the shiny an' forgot the simple. somethin' like feastin' got washed away on accounta we started to thinkin' we had to be somewhere, do somethin' or see someone. Community kinda got spread apart from each other even though we were still livin' in the same place. Thing like feastin's what helps bring us more together. Reminds us we're all part of one circle. Got responsibilities. Need each other. Nothin' big'n mysterious about it. Just people sittin' down and bein' grateful for things'n eatin'. Givin' thanks to the Creator for the food'n all the things around 'em. That's all
.

Simple ceremony but kinda sly in how it works on you. See, we all throw in together. Everyone brings what they can. Deer meat, rabbit, bannock, moose. Mmm. Moose meat. Little wild rice on the side. Hot bannock, lotsa lard. And it all gets offered to the people. But it's how it's offered that's the sly part. See, the thing with ceremony is, after a while you get used to it. Been doin' it so long it
gets
to be too easy. Somethin' you take for granted lots. Not just us. Me I seen lotsa different belieivers got
the same problem. Too familiar with their ceremonies and they don't mean nothin' after a while. Somethin' you do on accounta you figure you gotta on accounta you're a certain kinda believer. That's where all the lostness comes from. Makin' the moves but not feelin' it. So us we feast and remember
.

Old man used to tell of times when the people'd gather from all over in big feasts'n celebrations. People'd paddle in from way long ways. Days sometimes. Comin' together for honorin' or just praisin' the earth for the gifts been comin' long time. Big celebrations. Hand games, lacrosse, target shootin', foot races, story-tellin', lotsa stuff goin' on all round there. Hundreds of people maybe, sometimes more. When he was a boy he said there wasn't a season went by there without a feast to celebrate. Always happenin'. Me same thing. Lotsa gatherin's all the time. Maybe not so big as that but always somebody feastin'. It's on accounta rememberin'. Rememberin' where it all came from and gettin' centered on that again. Rememberin' how we're supposed to be with each other. Simple ceremony but big teachin's
.

Happens like this. Feast gets talked up. Everyone hears about it, starts gettin' somethin' ready. Hunters hunt, bring fresh meat, people go fishin', bake bannock, everywhere there's people gettin' ready. That's the first sly part. Gettin' ready. Everyone wants to make up their best. Best moose stew, best bannock, best deer roast. Right away they're thinkin' of somethin' outside themselves. Thinkin' of the people. That's what our way's all about. Thinkin' of the people. Right away that simple ceremony's workin' on their thinkin'
.

Then the gatherin' happens. People come together. See each other headin' together reminds 'em of how important they are to
each other, Maybe how much they miss someone they ain't talked with for long time. Gets that feelin' movin' inside 'em
.

Once everyone's there they all get seated in a great big circle. Old man says he seen one circle one time big as the townsite here. Big as the townsite'n seven deep. Lotta people. Dangerous too. Bad enough gettin' two hungry Indyuns together but try bein' close to five hundred Ojibways in a feedin' frenzy. Heh, heh, heh. Anyway, they get seated down in a big circle. Before the food comes one of the elders'll get up'n say a big prayer. Big long prayer. Me I remember one time that old woman who was prayin' prayed so long I kinda fell asleep. It was all the rustlin' around woke me up. Gladda that. Never wanna miss no feast. Heh, heh, heh. Anyway, the elders, men or women, they pray and give thanks for the food, the land, the people, the gatherin', everythin'. That's another sly part. Big reminder of where it all comes from. Everythin'. Hunters remember that it wasn't them that brought the deer, wasn't fishermen brought the fish. It all came from the Creator. That's what that prayer tells 'em
.

Then the big part happens. Instead of everyone running up'n grabbin' plates'n divin' into it, somethin' real big happens. Big but simple, eh? Young men, warriors, braves, whatever you wanna call 'em, get up outta the circle'n start servin' the people. Drummers'n singers are singing an honor song for the people an' the young men start servin' 'em. Start with the elders. Old guys like me and the old women get to eat first. It helps us remember that we gotta respect the wisdom of them that lived long time. Respect their vision. What they seen'n learned from. The teachin's they hold. Reason the young men serve the people's to remind them of their place. Be humble. Warrior's gotta
be people's protectors. Biggest part of protectin' is nurturin'. Helpin' the people. Bein' humble enough to feed 'em first. It's another sly part. Reminds 'em that warriors gotta learn to nurture before they learn to fight or hunt or anythin'. Biggest part of protectin' is nurturin'. Feedin' the people first. Takin' care of 'em. Mother's side workin' in them young men. That's why they do that
.

After the elders are served the young men feed the women'n children. Once everyone's served they sit an' feed themselves. Women get up after'n fill bowls up. Go around'n round again and again until all the food's gone. Sly again. Reminds us there ain't no such things as better or bigger. Equal. Share the responsibility. Men'n women got to be equals. That's what that simple sharin' of responsibility reminds us of. Equals. Two sides balanced in that circle. Makin' it complete. Two sides balanced inside us too. Makin' us complete. It's another simple teachin' that kinda gets forgot lots. Nobody gets up'n talks about all this. Nobody gives big speeches about the teachin's that are happenin' durin' that feast. Us we don't do that. Eyes gotta grab teachin's on their own in order to keep 'em, and them feasts sure open lotsa eyes again on the way us Anishanabes gotta be. That's why they're such big things and that's why we keep 'em so simple. The only thing I ever learned by someone tryin' to hit me over the head with somethin' was how to duck good. Heh, heh, heh
.

By the time Saturday evening rolled around this place was full of energy. Kids were screaming around all afternoon chasing each other around the community hall.
Adults were wandering around too looking like they couldn't figure out what to do up until it came time to head for the feast. Me'n Ma went for a long walk ourselves just to get a stretch of the legs and could see the drummers and singers arriving from Shoal Lake. People were pulling into the townsite like clockwork every five minutes and their relatives would met them at the porch of Big Ed's store with hugs and laughter. Looked like it was gonna be a big gathering. When Ma'n me headed out towards the hall that evening there were about thirty cars and trucks parked around the townsite and people were heading down to the hall in big meandering lines from everywhere. We could hear the sounds of drumming and singing already.

“Oh boy!” Ma said, picking up the pace a little and tucking a big pot of roast duck under her arm. “Gonna be a hot time in the old town tonight!”

I laughed. It was good to see Ma all excited. My brothers and I had tracked down a couple deer once we'd quit laughing, and I was carrying a big roast under my arm too. I figured if everybody there had something like Ma'n me there was gonna be an awful lotta stuffed Indians lying around tonight.

The hall was crammed. The circle of people went right around the room and I could see where Bert Otter and his helpers had moved all the usual tables and things out back of the building to make room. There were only four tables left at the front of the hall where the food was stashed. All around the room people were
laughing and talking. Kids were running around crawling between people, and a large group of older ladies were arranging the food on the tables while everyone else was craning their necks trying to get an idea of the size of the pickings. One group of drummers and singers was wailing away pretty good and people were moving their arms and shoulders to that old beat all around the room. I felt real warm inside looking at it all and I guess Ma knew what I was feeling by the way she wrapped her free arm around my waist and gave me a big squeeze.

“Kinda nice, eh?”

“Yeah, Ma. Kinda nice. Lotsa people. It's nice.”

“Here for you, you know. Most of these people who drove in are your relatives from Grassy Narrows, Rat Portage an' Whitefish.”

“Really?”

“Hey-yuh. Second cousins'n such. Been wantin' to meet you since you been home but never got around to it. Wouldn't miss no feast though. Good reason to come see you.”

“Wow.”

Jane'n Stanley'n Jackie appeared from out of the crowd and steered Ma'n me towards an empty spot in the front part of the circle. There was a big blanket spread out there and we all sat down together. Jane wrapped her arm around my shoulder and smiled at me.