Keeping Katie (A Mother's Heart #1) (20 page)

“I know you did.” He paused, holding her with his eyes, willing her to understand his words. “And
I
meant everything I said.” Without waiting for a reply, he turned back to Katie. “Come on, princess. I’ll push.” Lowering the little girl to the ground, he followed her over to the swings. “How high?”

“Way high.”

Maureen watched them go, desire and anger warring within her. The man had no scruples. First, he threw their passion in her face, and then he used her daughter to get to her. He stood behind Katie’s swing, pushing her just high enough to keep her satisfied.

Katie laughed and called to her mother while urging Alan to push higher. Maureen smiled and waved at her daughter, though both gestures were forced.

She felt the urge to slap him—almost as strongly as she wanted to feel his lips on hers again. Shaking both feelings, she forced her thoughts down less dangerous paths. Like how she was going to deal with him. If only Katie hadn’t taken to him, she might have been able to ignore her own feelings. But Katie adored him, and it tore at her heart.

Glancing at the two of them at the swings, Maureen saw how he watched her. Even at a distance, the hunger in his eyes reached her.

I want you.

She heard the words as if he’d spoken them, and the most feminine parts of her stirred in response. For the briefest of moments, she gave herself over to its warmth. Then Katie giggled, and Maureen pulled her gaze away, forcing herself to deny her body’s response to his silent plea.

Silence hung around them for long minutes. Maureen didn’t dare look at him, but pretended instead to concentrate on something at the other end of the park.

“Okay, princess.” His voice, ripe with frustration, sliced through the air. “That’s it for today. I need to get back to work.”

Katie started to protest, but stopped when he pulled her off the swing to give her a hug.

“I’ll see you on Sunday,” he said. Then, setting her back on the ground, he nodded to Maureen.

She met his gaze again briefly. His eyes had turned hard and brittle, his anger stabbing her like a knife in her heart. She started to reach out to him, but stopped herself. Instead, she gathered Katie into her arms and held her tight, as if the child could protect her from her own desires.

“See you around,” he said, and started to leave.

Suddenly, she couldn’t let him go. Not like this. “Alan.”

Her voice stopped him. As he faced her, she let herself be drawn by his eyes again, and for a few moments, she forgot all the reasons she couldn’t have him. His eyes brought back memories of their time together, and all the unchecked emotions of that night swirled about her. Their wild abandon by the river. The sweet seductive lure of him as he asked her to go home with him. Her own driving desire to have one night with him. His anger when she’d lied. She longed to go to him and curl into his arms. He would protect her and Katie. Surely, when emotions ran so strong, nothing could stand in their way.

“Yes?” His one word broke the spell, bringing her back to the real world.

Closing her eyes for a moment, she took a deep breath. She couldn’t go to him. If he knew who she was, what she’d done, what would he think? Now that he had become fond of Katie, perhaps he would understand. Possibly everything would be all right if she just told the truth. But she couldn’t take the chance. He might not understand, he might despise her, and she didn’t know if she could live with that.

“I’m sorry,” she said, thinking she had never spoken truer words. Looking deep into his eyes, she willed him to understand, to know that she regretted having to turn away from him more than anything in her life. But he just stood there, without a word, and she knew he expected her to say more. And she owed it to him.

“The way I’ve been acting, and what I said Saturday night …” She hesitated, pulling her gaze from his long enough to set Katie on the ground. “You were right. I lied.”

“I know.”

“Yes, I imagine you do.” She raised her eyes back to his, knowing she needed to face this head-on. She owed it to both of them. He started to move toward her but stopped when she took a step back.

“What are you afraid of?” he asked.

“I’m not afraid.” She glanced away, and then with an effort met his gaze once again. “No, that’s not true. I am afraid. This isn’t what I want. It’s just not right for us now. Not for Katie or me.”

“But?”

“I want you to leave us alone. Please.”

Alan sighed. Removing his hat, he shoved a hand through his hair and half turned to stare off into the distance. Maureen held her breath, unsure what she would do if he pushed any harder. If he took another step toward her, or touched her, would she be able to resist?

“Sorry,” he finally said. “I can’t do it. Not this time.” Looking back at her, he resettled his hat on his head. “You see, this isn’t exactly what I wanted, either. But it happened. And I have no intention of leaving you alone.”

A flood of emotions rushed through her, and she sat down to try to pull herself together. She couldn’t speak, because she wasn’t sure whether it was fear or relief coiling relentlessly within her stomach. Either way, she just stared at him.

“In fact, I plan to spend a lot of time with you and that little girl of yours.” He grinned that cocky, little-boy grin of his, and her heart melted. “So you may as well get used to the idea.”

He tipped his hat and waved to Katie, who had made her way back to the swings. “See you, princess.” Then he was gone, walking away casually, not realizing he had just handed Maureen a jail sentence.

She watched him go and understood that it was her heart, and not Alan, that would betray her. She knew now that it was relief that she felt. And Alan had known it, too. If she’d truly wanted him to walk out of her life, he would have gone.

Fate had played a cruel trick on her. She wanted more than friendship from Alan. She felt more than friendship for him. And it was those feelings that had betrayed her.

It had just been a matter of time.

As spring drifted into summer, the weather turned warmer, and Alan remained true to his word. He spent all his free time with Katie and Maureen. There were no more passion-filled moments like the night of the Apple Blossom Festival, but neither were there any empty days like the three that had followed.

He gave them the grand tour of the surrounding countryside. They drove east, out of the Cascade Mountains and into eastern Washington, where they explored apple orchards. A little farther north and back into the foothills, they swam in the cool blue waters of Lake Chelan. And they hiked. With Katie mounted on Alan’s shoulders, it became their favorite activity. He showed them the splendor of the high mountains of the North Cascades Highway, where they picnicked within sight of the majestic Liberty Bell Mountain.

He ate lunch at the diner and dinner at Rita’s, where he turned dull, weekday nights into warmth-filled evenings. He spent time at the playground, pushing Katie on the swings while entertaining Maureen with humorous stories about small-town life. He made her laugh, he made her yearn, and he made her want him.

Fighting her desire became a losing battle. It was her own heart she warred against. She couldn’t help it if she enjoyed every moment she spent in his company, or if she lay awake at night remembering the way it had felt to be in his arms. He was male and exciting, and the very air around him reverberated with life.

Occasionally, she reminded herself that she and Katie would soon be leaving Wyattville, but those moments came less and less frequently. More often, she wondered when he would touch her again. Not the friendly, warm touches he constantly bestowed on them, but the hot, passionate caresses they’d shared the night of the Apple Blossom Festival.

At the same time, she became closer to Tommy Simmons. A couple of weeks after the festival, she ran into him at his school. She and Katie had gone out walking, enjoying the late spring afternoon. Without planning to, they ended up at Wyattville’s Middle School just as it let out for the day.

Swarms of preteens milled about the school yard, talking in groups or waiting to board buses. She hadn’t realized that there were so many children in the surrounding mountains who attended school in Wyattville.

She approached the school slowly, wondering if Tommy was old enough to be in middle school. Her mind had been so occupied with Alan, it had been days since she’d thought about the shy little boy and his wounded animal. In fact, she’d almost forgotten her resolve to go out and check on him and his deer. When she saw him, she felt a renewed determination to get closer to him.

“Hi, Tommy,” she called.

Surprise registered on Tommy’s face as he caught sight of her. Glancing anxiously over his shoulder, he moved to intercept her. “Miss Adams. What are you doing here?”

“I was just passing by.” She shrugged and smiled, trying to put him at ease. “So this is your school.”

“Yeah.” He followed the direction of her gaze toward the one-story, featureless building. “Not much, is it?”

“Oh, I don’t know. It looks nice to me.”

Tommy shoved his hands into his pockets. “I guess it’s okay.” Then, nodding toward Katie, he asked, “Is that your little girl?”

“Yes. This is Katie.”

“Uh … hi, Katie.”

Katie smiled sweetly, shyly resting her head against her mother’s shoulder.

“She’s a little bashful,” Maureen said. “So, how are you doing?”

“Fine.” He smiled but threw another quick glance over his shoulder.

She realized that he might be embarrassed to be caught talking to an adult—especially a woman and child—in front of his friends. She decided to make their conversation quick. “I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk at the festival.”

“That’s okay.”

“How’s your friend?” She didn’t want to ask outright about the injured deer since he’d sworn her to secrecy.

“My friend?” He looked puzzled at first, then smiled. “He ain’t walking yet, but I think he’s better.”

“Would you like me to come out and check on him again?”

Tommy’s face lit up. “Could you?”

“Sure.”

“That would be great.” Suddenly, his smile faded. “But, I don’t know … my daddy don’t take kindly to strangers.”

“Maybe I could come when your father’s not home.” She felt guilty even suggesting it, but something about this boy pulled at her and she wanted to help him. If she had to do it without his father’s knowledge, then so be it.

“Okay.” Tommy nodded and smiled again. “Can you come on Sunday? He ain’t never home on Sunday.”

“Hey, Simmons,” a boy called from across the yard. “Come on. The bus is gonna leave without you.”

Tommy glanced over his shoulder and then turned back to Maureen. “I gotta go.”

“Go on,” she said. “I don’t want to cause you to miss your bus. I’ll see you Sunday.”

Tommy grinned and nodded, then took off in the direction of the waiting school buses.

Maureen watched him go and realized she hadn’t felt this good in days. She’d let herself get too tied up over Alan. He’d made her forget her priorities. Sure, she was attracted to him, maybe even cared for him, but that was no excuse to lose sight of what was important. Katie was important. And this boy, Tommy Simmons, was important. And she couldn’t do anything to jeopardize either of them.

Turning away from the school, she headed home. She needed to borrow Rita’s car on Sunday. She planned on keeping her promise to Tommy.

Convincing Rita, however, turned out to be more difficult than she had expected.

“Please, Rita, I have no other way to get out there.” It was later that same day. Katie was asleep, and Maureen and Rita sat in the kitchen drinking coffee.

Rita shook her head. “You know I don’t mind you borrowing the car. And I’d do anything for you and Katie …”

“But?”

“I don’t think going out to the Simmons place is a good idea.”

“Why?”

“Bud doesn’t take kindly to strangers. And he can be … difficult.”

Maureen leaned forward in her chair. “But I’d be going to see Tommy, not his father.”

“I don’t think that would matter to Bud. In fact, that would probably make matters worse.”

“But he won’t even know I’m there.”

Picking up her empty cup, Rita rose from the table and moved to the counter with the coffeepot. “How can you be sure?”

“He had no idea I was there the day Alan and I went to Seattle. At least, not until Alan got him all riled up.”

“Finding you out there won’t exactly make him happy.” Rita refilled her cup and returned to the table.

“He won’t know I’m there, I promise. Besides, Tommy said he’s never home on Sunday.”

“I don’t know.” Rita shook her head again. “I think you’re asking for trouble. What did Alan say about this?”

Maureen hesitated for a moment. “I didn’t tell him.” She met Rita’s gaze and added, “We both know he wouldn’t approve.”

The other woman looked away, her face clouded with indecision. “Those boys need someone,” Maureen added. “Please, let me borrow your car.”

Eventually, Maureen succeeded in enlisting Rita’s help. Rita agreed to let Maureen borrow her car and also offered to watch Katie for the afternoon. The following Sunday, Maureen was off to see Tommy Simmons and his deer.