Keeping Katie (A Mother's Heart #1) (21 page)

I
t was a risk borrowing Rita’s car to go see Tommy.

Maureen possessed a legal Florida driver’s license, so she was within her rights. But if she was stopped for any reason, she’d be in trouble. She couldn’t show anyone her license because she couldn’t allow them to see her real name. So she’d be arrested for driving illegally.

It was a chance she had to take.

Following Rita’s directions, she recognized landmarks from the day she had driven this way with Alan. She remembered seeing the small church sitting on the side of a hill, boarded up, needing paint and nearly hidden by the surrounding woods. It looked desolate and alone, doomed to lose its struggle to remain standing. In a flash, she thought of her own situation. Although she was determined to retain custody of Katie, circumstances seemed to conspire against her. She too might lose her battle for survival, just like the little white church on the hill.

Shaking away the depressing thoughts, she turned her attention back to the surrounding countryside. Spring had become summer since she’d last been this way. The mountains, which had just started to awaken a month ago, were now alive with their summer growth. Everywhere she looked she saw new life, whether it was the broad green leaves of deciduous trees sprinkled among the evergreens, a patch of wildflowers caught in a stretch of sunlight, or a baby rabbit darting among rocks at the edge of a stream.

These mountains, once again, soothed her soul.

Her thoughts drifted back to the day she and Alan had driven to Seattle. So much had changed since that day, yet so much had remained the same.

To those around them, it appeared as though Alan and she were developing a relationship. They spent a lot of time together. They had even shared a night of passion. On the surface, they’d come to know each other well.

Yet Maureen knew they’d never been further apart.

She was on her way to visit Tommy Simmons and she’d purposely hidden the fact from Alan. She knew he wouldn’t understand or approve. Just as she feared he would never understand about Katie. When it came to important things, they knew very little about each other.

Nothing had really changed.

A half hour later, she pulled slowly into the Simmons yard and parked under a copse of trees near the barn. The ranch was as she remembered, a rundown shambles of a place set against the stark beauty of the Cascades. She wondered how it would look, how it might have looked at one time, the yard clear of debris, the house and barn repaired and painted. It would be a peaceful place to live. Somewhere you wouldn’t mind calling home.

Once again she shook her melancholy thoughts and made a more practical survey of the yard. Bud’s truck was nowhere in sight. That meant Tommy had been right and Bud was off somewhere.

Or maybe Joey had the truck.

She didn’t want to think about that possibility. Memories of a big man wielding a rifle rippled through her thoughts. She didn’t want to encounter Bud Simmons. It occurred to her that maybe she shouldn’t have come. Maybe she should have listened to Rita and minded her own business. But everything was quiet, and no one—not even Tommy—was in sight.

Getting out of the car, she closed the door soundlessly. If Bud
was
in the house, he might not even know she was here. She glanced around again and started slowly across the yard.

“Tommy? Are you here?” She kept her voice low, not wanting to call out and possibly attract any unwanted attention. When she reached the open barn door, she stopped, taking a minute to peer into the dim interior.

“Tommy?” she called a little louder.

Suddenly, someone stepped out of the shadows directly in her path. Maureen’s hand flew to her mouth to stifle a gasp as she stumbled backward. Then she realized who it was and she shook her head. “You startled me.”

“Sorry.” Tommy dropped his hands into his pockets and grinned sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to.”

Maureen stood there another minute, giving her heartbeat a chance to return to its normal rate. “It’s okay,” she said. “I guess I’ll live.” Then, after another momentary pause, she added, “Is anyone else here?”

“Nah. Pa and Joey are …” He let his voice trail off and shrugged. “They’re out. Won’t be back till dark.” Maureen nodded and glanced around, feeling suddenly awkward, wondering what she was doing here. She’d purposely come out when this boy’s father was away. What was she trying to accomplish?

“I wasn’t sure you were coming.”

Tommy’s words brought her back to the moment. She met his gaze and saw the uncertainty there. “I told you I would come,” she said, responding to the unspoken plea in his eyes.

With a shrug, he started to turn away.

Maureen stopped him with a hand on his shoulder. “I keep my promises, Tommy.”

He studied her for a moment, as if trying to decide whether to believe her. Then he smiled. The dim light of the barn didn’t have a chance against the brilliance of that smile. Maureen’s heart tightened within her chest, and her doubts about being here dissolved. Somehow, this shy boy had crept into her heart and taken hold.

Slipping out from under her hand, Tommy moved deeper into the barn. “Come on. Pesky’s waiting.”

“Pesky?” Maureen followed, steeling herself for the smell of the unkempt barn. To her surprise, the air was clear.

“I named the deer Pesky ‘cause he can’t seem to stay still.”

“Very appropriate.” Maureen glanced around and noticed the other differences in the barn. “Looks like someone’s been doing some barn cleaning.”

“Yeah. I thought Pesky might want a clean place to live.” He stopped at the last stall. “Here he is. What do you think?”

Maureen was surprised at the changes in the animal. He stood in the middle of the stall—formerly two stalls—gazing at her with big brown eyes.

“He started walking yesterday,” Tommy said.

Maureen’s gaze wandered to where the wooden railing between this stall and the next had been removed.

“He needed more room,” Tommy said, as if reading her thoughts. “I just took down some of the boards.”

“By yourself?”

Tommy nodded and slipped his hands back into his pockets. “It wasn’t any big deal.” Opening the stall door, he moved inside to the deer. Pulling a handful of small granules from his pocket, he held out his hand to the animal. Pesky immediately took the boy’s offering. “If you’re quiet, he’ll let you touch him. Come on in slow and close the door behind you.”

Maureen did as he directed, approaching the deer with caution while the boy crooned soothing words. “He’s so soft,” she said, running her hands down the animal’s sleek sides. “How you doing, Pesky?” She met Tommy’s gaze and smiled. “What are you feeding him?”

The deer nuzzled the boy’s pocket, looking for more treats. Laughing, Tommy drew a few thinly sliced apples from his other pocket. “Here you go. I should have named you Greedy.” Then, glancing at Maureen, he grinned. “Most of the time I just give him sweet feed—you know, the stuff they feed horses. But he likes apples better.”

Maureen took the opportunity to squat down and take a look at Pesky’s leg. Tommy had removed the bandage and makeshift splint. It looked as though the animal’s leg was healing nicely. “How’s he walking?” she asked.

“He doesn’t look too steady yet. But he seems to get around the stall all right.”

“Let’s see.”

Tommy got the deer to follow him by holding out another handful of sliced apples. Maureen watched as the animal limped behind him.

“Well, it doesn’t look like he’s going to win any races real soon,” she said.

“I can’t let him go …”

“You’re right. Not yet, anyway.” Maureen didn’t know much about deer, but she could guess what would happen to any animal in the wild that couldn’t run. “Give him some more time. He’ll heal. But sooner or later, Tommy …”

The boy nodded and continued stroking the animal. “Yeah, I know. I’ll have to set him free.”

“Yes. You will.” Maureen watched Tommy and his deer for a moment in silence and then sat on an overturned bucket in the corner of the stall. “Does your father or Joey know about Pesky?”

A flicker of apprehension crossed Tommy’s face, and she wished she hadn’t asked the question. “Don’t know about Joey,” he answered. “He hasn’t said anything.”

She thought about letting the subject drop, but she wanted to know more about what was going on out here. “What about your father?”

He shook his head. “Pa don’t know.”

“I see.”

“Pa don’t like animals much,” Tommy offered.

“But surely he wouldn’t object to your helping a wounded deer.”

He shrugged, and the gesture told her more than words ever could. Bud Simmons would definitely not care for his youngest son harboring a stray deer. She couldn’t for the life of her understand why, but it was one more thing about Bud Simmons that made her want to shake the man.

“So how have you been able to keep Pesky a secret?”

Tommy finally met her gaze. “Pa never comes out here.”

“And Joey?”

“If he’s seen him, he ain’t said nothing.”

This time, she let the subject alone. Tommy obviously was uncomfortable talking about it, and she’d pushed far enough for one day. However, the whole situation bothered her. It didn’t make sense—unless Bud was a lot harder on his boys than anyone was admitting. Yet both Rita and Alan had been adamant that there was no sign of abuse.

“So why’d you come?” Tommy asked, breaking the silence.

Maureen looked at him, surprised at the question. “I told you I would.”

“But why?”

Maureen met his gaze. In some ways, this boy was old beyond his years. He felt too deeply, and he saw things most ten-year-olds would never notice. He reminded her of someone, and suddenly she realized why she had risked so much to come see him again.

“I guess,” she said, picking up a piece of straw from the floor, “it’s because you remind me of someone else I know.”

Tommy looked curious. “Who?”

“Me.” Maureen shrugged and smiled. “Actually, you and I are a lot alike. I didn’t know my mother, either.”

“Really?” Tommy left the deer and came over to sit next to her on the floor. “Did your ma run off, too?”

“Sort of.” Maureen twirled the bit of straw between her fingers. “She and my father got divorced when I was seven. My father got custody.”

Tommy didn’t say anything for a moment, and Maureen wondered what his young mind was making of her revelation. When he spoke again, she saw the effort the question took him. “Did you ever see her again?”

Maureen shrugged. “Once or twice.”

“Then what happened?”

“I’m not sure. I think she didn’t like being around my father. They fought a lot.”

Tommy nodded knowingly. “Yeah. That’s what Joey says about our ma. He says Pa was always yelling and she was always crying …”

Maureen felt a momentary twinge of empathy for the woman she’d never met. She could understand how Bud could strike fear in his wife. “That’s too bad,” she said aloud.

“I don’t remember her.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Joey tells me about her, though.” There was a wistfulness in his eyes that tore at Maureen’s heart. “He says she was real pretty.”

“I’m sure she was.” Maureen reached over and brushed a stray lock of blond hair from his forehead. She wished there was some way to comfort this boy. “I’m sure she loved both you and Joey very much.”

“Then why did she leave us behind?”

Maureen shook her head. She didn’t have an answer for him. Not really. How could she know what his mother had been through, what had made her leave without her children? She’d asked the question a million times herself about her own mother. Why hadn’t she at least come back to see her own daughter?

“I don’t really know, Tommy. Sometimes adults do things …” Maureen hesitated, searching for the words to ease this boy’s pain, words she’d never found herself. “I just don’t know.”

Silence fell between them. They both sat, lost in their own thoughts. Then he asked, “What about your pa?”

“He was a bit of a tyrant.”

“Yeah. Mine, too.” Tommy shook his head. “Man, if we don’t toe the line, there’s hell—heck to pay.”

“Mine, too.” Maureen paused, weighing her next words carefully. “He never hit me or yelled, though. He’d just fix me with this icy stare that meant he was
really
disappointed in me.”

“You’re lucky. Pa can bring down the roof when he’s mad enough, and his belt smarts on the backside …” Tommy blushed and fell silent. Then, after a few moments, he stood and made his way back over to his deer. “Will you come out again?” he asked. “To check on Pesky?”

“Sure,” she answered, standing, feeling as if she’d been dismissed. “I promise.” Tommy glanced back over his shoulder and met her gaze. “I don’t break my promises,” she added. “I’ll be here again next week.” Then she turned and let herself out of the stall.

Maureen drove back to town feeling more confused than ever.

The boy didn’t talk as though his father beat him. Not that she was an authority on child abuse, but while working in the emergency room of an inner-city hospital, she’d seen her fair share of battered women and children. Nothing Tommy said made her think he fitted that category. As Alan had indicated, Bud seemed to be a little heavy-handed with the belt, but that was all. It was only when she’d asked about the deer that Tommy had become apprehensive.