Keeping the Promises (15 page)

Before I start reading the next part Dhruv sent me, I seek an answer from you. What if you’ve a secret inside which probably can change your life? Which could either be exuberant or malicious? I don’t know if the secret I’m keeping inside of me will bring happiness or loneliness for me, but all I know is that Dhruv is not the only one who’s keeping the promises; I too am. And what I wonder is whether I will ever be able to share it with him or not. Will I ever get the courage to share it with him? What would be his reaction after that? Will he be willing to see me again after that?

May be…May be not…

Had it been seven years back, I would know exactly what he would say, how he would react. But now he is an entirely different person – the person who’s my best friend but also a person who does not see his future with me.

Or maybe he just needs some time, and I won’t mind waiting for him for the rest of my life. Or maybe I would. A thought does nothing romantic except making me dreadful. Fear is a strong emotion – having the ability to conquer trust, affection and sensibility, and to replace them with anger, hurt and bitterness.

The answer I seek from you is, should we keep a secret from someone we love or not? Even if it can break everything that belongs to you?

Perhaps I’m not responsible for it; perhaps I’m.

But not more than my friend…M, where are you? I need your help and I’m coming to talk to you.

9 February

I
was placing M’s favourite white chocolates on the wooden tray along with some orchids. Mom who was standing there, couldn’t help but smile. We all had our eyes swollen red. They, along with me, had been crying all night long. We even prayed for some miracle to happen. Can miracles happen in real life? When was the last time I felt something miraculous?

The answer was obvious and easy – when I saw her blue eyes for the first time. Unlike her, her mom had grey eyes, like a Greek goddess. She too, like M, is blessed with mesmerizing beauty and grace.

I swung the door and saw her sitting on her bed with the envelopes.

What? She forgot everything again? That punched me hard in the stomach. I somehow couldn’t convince myself with the fact that it was never going to be the same between us, as it was before. I was standing dumbstruck with her snapping at me. I chose to refrain myself from saying a word. After a brief silence, she softly spoke.

“Are you Dhruv?”

“Yes, ma’am, I am!”

“Are you sure? I mean, you didn’t con me into something, did you? I can’t see any reason for you deserving to be my boyfriend.”

I frowned, stared at my toes, embarrassed.

“Sorry for that!”

“Did we have sex? I mean, did you ever get your filthy fat body on me?”

“No M, I didn’t…get my filthy hands on you.”

“I knew it. I would never allow a fat pig like you to touch me.”

I swallowed, unsure of what to say. After all, the person sitting in front of me wasn’t my girlfriend. My M knew me to the core of my soul and I didn’t blame her for forgetting me. Even if I’d been a hundred times fatter than I was before, she would still love me like she did. Once you ascertain love, everything else seems minuscule in front of it.

“I know M, and you didn’t. Don’t worry!” I softly answered.

“Now get lost, I don’t want to see your shitty face.”

This was it. The magical moments we spent for the past eight days had come to an end. This part of her didn’t want me with her. I gently placed the plate beside her and reached for the door. To see my blue-eyed girl for the last time, I turned around and saw her laughing.

“GOTCHYA!” She screamed. And I sighed audibly and rushed to her.

“You almost killed me, bitch!”

“Just bitch?”

“Okay, sexy bitch!”

“Just sexy bitch?”

“My sexy bitch. Okay?”

“Fair enough!”

And we bumped our heads in laughter, but not before putting her favourite white chocolates in my mouth and sliding it into her mouth from mine. Her tongue and lips felt tastier than ever; perhaps the prank she played had its effect on it.

She then, as a ritual, kissed the orchids and opened the envelope.

Today – since you don’t remember most of the time we spent together – I will tell you about a moment related to this white chocolate
.

One day, we had a belligerent fight over some issues, and you – holding your anger on your about-to-turn-red nose – didn’t want to see my face. For about ten long days, you kept your head burning and rejected all my apologies. On the eleventh day, you agreed to meet me. We talked about nothing that day; neither had you apologised, nor had I. We just sat there and ate those white chocolates I had brought for you. When we finished and I stood up to leave – with no hope of reconciliation – I softly asked you, “Shall we meet again?
”

And, of course with a smile, your answer was, “Only if you bring me these chocolates.” And I rushed towards you and took you in my arms. For the following ten days, we met and without sharing a word, ate these chocolates – while holding each other’s hand
.

She giggled while putting the note down, blessed my lips with the morning kiss and softly said, “You have been a great lover Mithu! And I remember that. Even death cannot make me forget your ‘no apologies’ attitude.”

I laughed, because that was true…I’ve been egoistic at times.

On the ninth day after dinner – in which she had our favourite paneer, unlike regular soups – we sat on the bed. The hardest part of the narration was on its way and we both knew it.

And so I started reading.

Dhruv woke up, half sleep when he heard his phone ringing.

“Hello Dhruv? You there?” Spoke Mr. Shah, over the phone.

“Yes, Mr. Shah! How’s your leg?”

“Listen to me carefully. Angel and Ansh are together right now. I forced Angie to meet him. Rishi heard this conversation. I saw him and around ten of his friends going out with bats and hockey sticks in their hands,” Dhruv could clearly sense a certain fear in his voice.

‘This is serious and above our differences. Move your ass Gajju!’

“Where are they?” He asked while getting his car keys.

“At Shambhu’s coffee-bar.”

“Okay, Mr. Shah! Don’t worry, I’m on my way.”

He hung up the phone, walked out and sat in his car. Shambhu’s coffee bar was probably twenty minutes away from his house, but on that day it took him merely five to seven minutes to reach there. Obviously by troubling people on the road and by changing lanes swiftly.

As he reached, he saw Ansh and Angie inside through the glass door, with fear in their eyes. Rishi and the gang were waiting for them outside. The security guard was holding his rifle more tightly than ever to avoid any trouble inside the coffee bar. Ansh and Angie were not coming out because they knew that they were safe as long as they were inside, but they could not stay there forever. Dhruv walked towards Rishi.

“You better stay out of this,” Rishi stared at him with anger.

“Do you think I’m going to?” He replied and moved closer to him.

“Do you think you are going to beat all of us with your tiny muscles?” He retorted.

“Thanks for reminding that I’m outnumbered and I know I actually am. But, I don’t care. Because I’m not going to fight you all! I’m just going to keep all my attention on one person and whoever he will be; I’ll beat him till death. May be, I’ll die in the process, maybe I even survive…which I know I will. So if you still want to try then tell me, who’s coming first? You or some of your punter?” He said, moving even closer – head to head. He was showing courage not because he was brave, but because he had to. It was a risk that he had to take for the people he loved the most.

“She must come back home within an hour,” Rishi ordered and cringed.

Dhruv realised that the plan had worked; he did not have to fight them.

“She will come back, whenever she would feel like coming, and remember, if you ever try to repeat anything like this again, then you and your punters will not reach home on your legs. I can promise you that,” Dhruv’s confidence was on a high node.

“I will see you.” He said while walking away.

“You are seeing me right now, this is who I am. If you want to see me again, then just call me. But right now, why don’t we play a game which is called “fuck-off” and you go first!” Dhruv sighed. As they all left the place, he started walking his car. Angie and Ansh came closer to him.

“Gajju!” Ansh called him.

“Don’t you dare to call me Gajju, only my friends do that and you two lost me a while ago.”

“Dhruv, please try to understand…” Angie started saying but chocked in her sobs.

“Please Angie! I don’t want to be rude to a girl, just back off. You know the person you refused to take a stand for last night, called me to save your asses. That man still cares for you. Your father, he called me. Shame on you two for not having a little courage to stand for what is right.” He growled, sat in his car and drove away.

Dhruv didn’t head to his home after that; he instead went to meet M who had already reached there before him. It had been nearly over two months after Mr. Shah’s accident that they met each other, so Dhruv was excited to see his blue-eyed girl where on the other hand, somehow, M was frightened with what was coming. As most staff members already knew her, they were astounded with the way she reached there.

When Dhruv entered, the only thing he saw was M sitting there. Sad and in tears, which he thought were because of Ansh and Angie.

“Don’t cry for those losers, M! They are not worth it,” Dhruv said and held her hand. She immediately took it back, which stunned Dhruv more than it hurt him.

“The problem is not with them, Dhruv! It’s about us!”

Dhruv gazed at her blue eyes to figure out what she was hiding beneath them.

“What are you talking about M?” He said.

“It’s not working Dhruv! Between us…”

That punched him hard in his stomach, but he didn’t say a word. He still believed that M was playing a game with him.

“You’re not serious… Are you?” He paused.

“I am, Dhruv, we seriously need to think…”

“That’s not what I meant. I meant about us, you were really never serious about us, right?”

Underneath his anger, he perhaps wanted her to say no. He wanted her to say she didn’t mean what she said earlier. To his astonishment, she didn’t say a word and perhaps that made him angrier, even cruel.

“Answer me, M!” She didn’t answer and he continued.

“You used me. You wanted a boyfriend who’d spend bucks for your expenses. You never were serious about us, right?” In his heart, Dhruv was praying that she would slap him on his face and tell him that it’s all a lie. She loves him till eternity and this would mean nothing at all. But contrary to that, she looked away. Dhruv, who was already high on anger, now stood up and punched the table hard which forced the other costumers’ and restaurant staff’s attention towards him.

The manager who was in his fifties and knew them closely – was witnessing everything from a side. As knew something like this was going to happen, he’d already told all the staff members not to intervene.

“You’ve seen the best side of me so far M! Now you’ll see the worst and I promise M, you’ll regret it more than me.”

And he walked out, stamping his feet on the floor.

After he left, M burst into tears. Her dad came and sat beside her. When she’d shed every drop, her father along with the manager – who too was in tears – put her on her wheelchair.

Before she left the restaurant, the manager said with his hand on M's head, “I’ll pray for you my child!”

“It’s too late for that uncle! It’s too late for that…”

She mumbled before leaving.

I groaned in tears as I finished the last line I did what I couldn’t do the last time, cried hard in pain, grief, sorrow. She took me in her arms and started rubbing my back with her hand. I broke into tears; the part I knew I would have to narrate disheartened had finally arrived. And ironically, crying was the only thing I could do – or perhaps I was allowed to do.

“Mithu…Mithu… Calm down baby!” She rubbed my back with both of her hands when I collapsed in her arms and broke down.

When tears stopped falling, I was sitting quietly, holding her hand.

“Who told you about what happened after you left?” She softly asked.

“Dad,” I murmured.

“Of course he did!” She squeezed my hand hard and kissed me on my wet cheek. At that time her lips felt soothing.

I knew it was now the promise time and I was getting ready for it. And she said, “Promise me! You’ll try to learn patience. You’ll not let my death go in vain. You’ll come out of it as a better person.”

“I promise I’ll try, my love! You know it’s not in my hands.”

She laughed at this and kissed me on my neck before blessing my lips.

And we slept together, in smile together, in tears together, in love together.

After having a conversation with M in solitude, I’m feeling relieved and strong. It may look unrealistic and confusing to you, but that’s the way it is. We all have secrets within us and believe me, M also stands for mystery; A genius intellectual who will blow your mind soon. Trust me.