Kelly's Quest (NYC LOVE Book 2) (25 page)

I touch his chest. “Shit, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for her. Or you. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s one of those things in life you have to accept, I guess.” His lips purse in a mock-smile. “Nothing we can do about it now.”

“You’re so sweet with her. The two of you seem close.”

“Someone had to take over after our mom died. Our dad was too involved in his work to help, and would be gone for months at a time. We lived with Aunt Carmela. She was the best parent she could be while trying to run a busy restaurant. Our dad offered to hire a full-time nurse, but I didn’t want a stranger raising Gwen. That’s about the extent of the relationship we’ve had with him.” He reaches up to ruffle his hair, something he did earlier in the night when he was talking to his sister about some guy she was seeing. “I only went into the Marines because by then she was strong enough to do just about everything on her own whenever our aunt wasn’t around. And she insisted that I sign up because she knew it was something I always wanted.”

Looking into his beautiful eyes, a world of emotions well up inside. There are so many layers to Theo, each one more amazing and complex. To think I once saw him as someone who just wanted to get laid and nothing more. Jewels always claimed he had a heart of gold, but I had no idea it was this big or this full of compassion for those he loves.

Taking both of my hands in his, Theo smiles wide. “It’s just like I thought, my family adored you.” He leans in to press his lips to mine, bringing his hands up to my face and deepening the kiss. Before we get a chance to make it all hot and heavy, he pulls away. “Then again, what isn’t there about you to adore?”

“I could say the same thing about you.” I reach up to brush his lips with my thumb, sending my hormones into a tumultuous ride. “I don’t know what I did to deserve this kind of life. You make me feel like a freaking princess.”

“I’ll tell you exactly what you did.” He steps in closer, sweeping me into his arms. “You stole my heart, Cavenaugh. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, not even Brooklyn, and I let her move in with me. You make me want to be a better man.”

“There’s nothing about you that could get any better,” I whisper.

Once again, he crushes his lips to mine. I barely respond, too caught up in my thoughts. Is he saying he’s in love with me? By now I’m sure the wild anxiety stirring in the pit of my gut all night is love as well. It’d be so easy to give myself wholly to Theo. He goes out of his way to make me happy and knows exactly what to do in the bedroom—or at least it seems from our other escapades anyway. The way he doted on his sister all night just proved he’s the real deal.

Theo’s kisses, gentle yet eager, feel so differently than the passion-fueled make out sessions we’ve had in the past. It’s as if he’s getting ready to make love to me, wanting all of me and passing his feelings along through his lips. His tongue lazily brushes with mine as his lips take control.

When we part, he holds me close to his chest, rubbing my back. As much as I want to confess that I’m in love with him, I decide to hold off. When I finally do tell him, it’s the kind of thing I’d like to plan an entire night around. I want everything to be perfect.

I could easily avoid the
madness inside by taking the side door up to the apartment, but instead I decide to see how Mick and the rest of the staff are holding up. I doubt I’d be much help at this point if they needed it, considering how exhausting it is to simply push my way through the energetic crowd, but I can at least wish them a good night and maybe even have a drink to help me slip into a blissful sleep.

Stella, one of my favorites to work with since she’s always full of humorous stories involving her over-active toddler, spots me from behind the bar. Her eyes light up. “Ah, Kelly! Good to see you out on your night off! You alone?”

“Just coming back from Thanksgiving with Theo’s family!” I yell over the loud rock, claiming one of two free barstools. “Thought I’d stop in to see how you guys are doing!”

She hands change to one of the patrons before settling in front of me, her arms folded over the bar. “It’s been a crazy night. The band brought in a bunch of the college crowd. I guess they’re pretty popular on campus.” She suddenly slaps her hand over my wrist. “Oh shit, I almost forgot! Mick about had to kick some poor guy out earlier. He was going on about being your friend, said it was urgent that he talk to you. I didn’t catch his name, but he was a complete mess. Tall guy, gorgeous eyelashes and sultry lips, kind of looks like the Wall Street type. Not sure what he’s doing here. This doesn’t seem his kind of crowd.”

I balk with my jaw dropped.
Erik
? Why would he want to see me? “Is he still here?”

Stella tilts her head to the side. “Last I checked he was sitting in one of the tables in back. Mick decided to give him a break since he said he knew you, and made him drink a cup of coffee to sober up.”

“Thanks,” I tell her, sliding off the stool.

I haven’t had a real conversation with Erik since moving out. My heart hammers in my chest as I finally squeeze through the group dancing around to the band and reach the far end of the bar. Erik’s slumped over a coffee mug, dressed in a dark button-down and jeans, his usually perfectly styled hair just as despondent as he seems. I can only see part of his face since he’s looking down.

Taking small steps his way, I ask, “Erik? What are you doing here?”

His head pops up. His eyes are blood shot, red-rimmed and wet, but grow wide when he sees me. “Kelllly,” he slurs, rising from his chair and knocking it over.

“Hold on,” I say, hurrying over to his side.

He collapses against me, burying his face in the crook of my neck. The stout odor of whiskey oozes from him like he bathed in it. I struggle to stay upright with most of his weight on me. His arms wrap around to my back, crushing me to him.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he mumbles into my skin.

The sudden hug and his lack of control with booze frighten me. I’ve never seen him this way. I’m about to ask what he’s doing here when I feel something hard pressed against my stomach. Eyes wide, I back away from him to confirm the wild thoughts racing through my head.

He has a gun.

EIGHTEEN

I can hardly breathe with
the sight of the black handle peeking out from Erik’s rumpled shirt. My first instinct is to find Mick or call the police, but I’m too terrified to make a move. Plus for whatever reason Erik has a gun, I don’t want to do anything that will upset him. He’s already in a terrible state, which could be dangerous in itself.

I struggle to help him stay upright without knocking us both over. “You need to sit down.”

“I don’t want to
sit
,” he snaps, pulling me back to him. “I want to hold you.”

A group of women behind us begin to stare, giggling. I need to shut this down before he causes a big commotion and we’re surrounded by people. The best ideas I can come up with are to either call Adam, or ask Mick for help. I can’t just leave him in a bar, drunk with a deadly weapon.

I finally get him to sit down. While he sulks with his hands on his head, I try calling both Adam and Jewels, only to get each of their voicemails. They didn’t have any plans after the parade, except to order takeout and watch movies all day. Knowing them, they’ve already gone to bed and put their phones on silent. One of these days they’re going to miss an urgent call.
Like this one
.

I search above the bouncing bodies for any sign of Mick, but it’s so packed that I can’t even see the bar from this angle.

Erik’s drunk enough that I could possibly grab the gun from him. But then what? I’d be the one with a deadly weapon in public, and that doesn’t seem incredibly wise, either. Plus he’s bigger than me, so it wouldn’t take much for him to overpower me if I tried. I can’t just send him home in a taxi, wondering if he’s going to lose it on his way home and shoot someone. With the state he’s in, we wouldn’t make it more than two blocks on foot, and he lives over seven away.

“C’mon,” I say, looping my arm around his back. We’re only a couple dozen feet from the door leading up to my apartment. I help him to the stairway where he stumbles over the first few steps, falling to hands.

I help him back up. “Okay, here we go.”

The bar noise becomes muffled when the door closes and I suddenly feel like I can actually formulate a plan. Unlocking the door to the apartment with my free hand, I help him through the doorway and flip the light on. Erik wiggles out of my hold to take the place in, running into walls like he’s a bumper car. He continues down the narrow hallway before ducking into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

I bang my head against the doorframe to my room, welcoming the sharp pain that follows. Erik is incredibly drunk, possibly high on who know
what
, carrying a weapon, and obviously has some kind of ax to grind, and now we’re alone in my apartment. I’ve officially reached expert level in making mistakes of epic proportions.

How’d I let this happen?

I’m reaching for my phone to call Theo when the toilet flushes and Erik emerges from the bathroom. He brushes past me, disappearing into my bedroom. I stick my phone back into my pocket and let out a long, frustrated sigh before following him in. He stands hovering over my things, reaching out to touch everything he sees.

I try to keep my distance from him. “Are you going to tell me what you’re doing here?”

“Considering my brother doesn’t want anything to do with me, you’re the only other person who ever gave a shit about me. Or at least the only one who was ready to give me a chance.” He finds my red-laced bra on the dresser and sticks his finger through the strap, dangling it in front of his face. “You should model this for me.”

I pull the bra from his hands and set it back down. “Did something happen?”

“Apparently I happened.” He begins digging through my things again. “I went over to confront him once and for all, tried to tell him how I feel about that night I tried to shoot him, but he didn’t want to hear it. Kicked his own little brother out. On Thanksgiving.”

Fear strikes my core with lightening fast speed and I whimper.
He went over to see Adam and Jewels with a gun? Is that why neither of them will answer their phones?

“What’d you do to them?” I whisper, my stomach flipping around to the point of nausea. “Jesus, Erik, you have to tell me what’s going on.”

He flops on the bed next to me. The gun pokes out from his waistband. “I didn’t do
anything
. He wouldn’t give me a chance. He told me I’m a spoiled asshole, and that if I really felt remorseful then I’d tell our parents what went on that day.”

With my breath stuck in my throat, I don’t move my eyes off the gun. “Why do you have a gun? What were you planning to do with it?”

“Your pretty little friend and my brother are fine, if that’s what you wanna know.” He blows out a long breath before pushing his face into my neck and trailing his lips up my skin. “I need to feel the inside of you again. We had a good thing, baby. You make me feel
good
. I want to feel that. I need to feel
something
.” His hands spring into action, one reaching for my breast and the other cupping my ass. He’s quick to press his mouth over my lips, jamming his tongue down my throat.

“Stop!” I plead between his kisses, trying to pull away. “Erik! I said
stop
!” I finally break free from his tight grip. “I’m with Theo now! I won’t do this with you!”

Something flashes across his drunken gaze. I can’t pinpoint what, exactly, but it most definitely isn’t the look of understanding or even comprehension. “I should’a known you wouldn’t wait for me to get my shit together. You're too good for me. I knew it the first time I saw you. At least there’s a way you can help me.” He wraps his hand around mine, bringing it to his waistband, resting over the gun. “Apparently I’m too much of a coward to do it myself, but you could pull the trigger and end this thing. We’d all be better off—you, me, my brother, even my parents. No one would probably even fucking notice.”

Feeling as if I’m about to have a heart attack, I slip my fingers around the barrel of the gun and pull it out with shaking hands. I’ve never held a gun before. It’s warm from being down Erik’s pants, and much heavier than I expected. Terror renders me breathless.

“That’s right, baby.” Erik’s lips trail up my neck, and his hand returns to my breast. “You can do this. Make the pain disappear.”

With the gun clutched in my hands, pointed at the floor, I jump from the bed. “I’m
not
going to fucking shoot you, Erik! I can’t believe you even asked me! You obviously need help!”

Bending over, he runs both hands through his hair. “Don’t do this.
Please
don’t do this. I just want...you gotta help me.”

“I am helping you. But I’m not giving you the gun back. I won’t call the police if you can promise me you won’t do anything stupid.” I sneak over to my small closet, never taking my eyes off Erik. I’m suddenly grateful for Mick’s suggestion to invest in a small safe for my valuables. He assured me they had never been robbed, and that his sister trusted my roommates, but he reminded me Avery was known to bring strange men home and didn’t want to see me cleaned out. I quickly punch in the code to the keypad and set the gun inside like it’s made of dynamite.

Erik’s crying softy into his hands by the time I return to him.

I cradle his head against my chest. “I’m sorry you’re dealing with this all alone. Sometimes it just takes certain people a little longer to let themselves forgive someone who’s hurt them so deeply. Once Adam hears about this, he’ll know just how sorry you really are. You have to give him more time. You can’t quit this easily.”

I allow Erik to cling to me until he passes out.

I wake to a persistent
knock on my door. Erik lays at my side, cuddled up into a fetal position, his mouth slightly parted, eyes fluttering in his sleep. As upset as he was the night before, I decided it was safest to stay by his side incase he decided to get up and find something in the medicine cabinet to make the pain stop.