Kept (14 page)

I grabbed Heidi’s outstretched hand, but it was too late. One of the closest imps jumped on her back. I growled at it, my claws out and ready to swipe.

Heidi was no wallflower ready to die. She belted out, “Son of bitch!” and grabbed at the imp. But the creature scampered all over the place, reaching and scratching. Not far behind, the others prepared to join it.

In my back pocket, something burned and vibrated: the knife from the goblin.

I pulled it out of my pocket and jumped off the railing. The knife glowed and drew me toward the imp on Heidi’s back. When I touched the blade to the imp, its skin sizzled like bacon in a hot pan. The creature screeched and jumped away—trailing a line of black blood. The others closed in but kept a healthy distance.

The two dark elves appeared. A disturbing sight, one holding a sword and the other a knife. A tourist couple ready to gut the locals—how nice.

“Climb over.” I knelt down and offered Heidi my cupped hands. She wouldn’t like the ride I was about to offer, but things didn’t look too good. When she got into position, I jettisoned her over the fence—she landed with a painful
umph
on the concrete. I heard it but kept my eyes on the dark elves and imps. They glared at the blade in my shaking hand.

“C’mon!” I said hoarsely. “Who wants to play with my little knife next?”

One little knife against twenty or so imps and two dark elves carrying much bigger knives. I had a great chance—when Hell froze over and the devil opened a Popsicle stand.

An obviously bold imp jumped forward, only to have
a limb fried off by yours truly. They had numbers on their side, though, and I only had one blade. They swarmed toward me, some leaping toward my arm while others jumped on my leg. The wolf within whined, urging me to change. To give in and let it fight.

I had almost decided to do so when the roar of a horn and the blast of a cranky engine belted toward us. The imps that didn’t move were crushed. As the truck came up beside me, the passenger door flew open. A hand snaked out and grabbed my arm, two imps still clinging to me.

The rush of the truck propelled me forward, but Nick’s hand around my arm held firm.

A yelp snuck out of my mouth from the biting pain on my arm. My two passengers clung to me for dear life. Perhaps they’d hoped I’d fall off and develop a road rash like their other comrades.

The truck veered wildly out of the parking lot, then settled into a hard pace on a side road. I expected Heidi to drive toward the highway, but she kept roaring down the side street.

Using the goblin’s magical blade, I swatted madly at the two remaining imps, now clinging to my leg. Damn, those little bastards were persistent. Their claws dug into my jeans until they pierced the thick material.

“Hold on!” Nick held on to me with one hand, the other gripping the truck. The open door swung into him.

A rough bump kept me from slicing into one of the imps. One of them crept up my leg again, while the other tried to maintain a foothold on my backside. That one bravely took a leap toward Nick. Boy, did it get the surprise of its life. A light brighter than a set of stadium lights filled my vision and burned my eyeballs. It was painful enough for me to curse madly in Russian.

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” My grip on Nick faltered. The wizard
had picked a great time to use his little flashlight to protect us.

The blinded critter fell to the road. The other imp scrambled off me to find a safe spot on the side of the truck. Over the wind, I heard it hiss at us.

With a rough yank, Nick tugged me inside. I landed on his lap with a grunt. By the time he slammed the door shut, the second imp had climbed to the window. It glared at us, perhaps throwing curses in whatever grunt-like language it used.

The Muse was as close to the mermaid as she could get without impeding the driver. Heidi had the intricate focus of a neurosurgeon—until the imp scrambled over the top of the truck and landed square in her line of sight.

“Fuck me!” The mermaid swerved hard to the right. Everyone inside flew to the right.

Abby whimpered, while I screamed, “Wipers! Damn it, wipers!”

The imp had its face plastered against the windshield—its large eye swiveling side to side, pretty much mocking us as well as any middle finger.

The wipers moved, banging into the imp’s body. The little shithead didn’t budge.

To add to the fun, a set of honks and a growing police siren ahead alerted us to big trouble.

“Could you stay in your lane, please?” Nick yelled.

The truck jumped again to the left.

Abby slapped Heidi’s arm. “Don’t regular people drive on the right side of the road?”

“How about you grab the wheel and take it for a fucking spin if you know what to do?” Heidi checked her seat belt. Umm, that wasn’t a good sign. “I suggest you hang on.”

“To what?” I mumbled. I was still on Nick’s lap—with
no seat belt on. “What are you doing, Heidi?” I said with a growing frown.

The honks increased as the truck sped up.

“We need to stop,” the Muse begged.

The honks grew closer.

The Muse squeaked, “We’re going be a roadside pancake.”

Heidi stomped on the brake.

The imp, with its beady eyeball trained on us, flew forward. Everything that came next almost happened faster than my eye could catch. Nick’s grip on me tightened.

Since he didn’t have a seat belt on either (future lesson here), we both crashed forward.

Hello, windshield, my name’s Natalya
.

I’d never had such an up-close introduction with a windshield before. My forehead
thunked
soundly into the windshield before it bounced back and then hit the dashboard. I guess I should be grateful that they saved me. Poor Nick, trying to keep me from getting hurt, ended up smashing me farther into the truck.

Sounds around me didn’t make much sense after that. Heidi cursed a few times in a language I didn’t recognize before the truck jerked forward. We hit a squishy bump, and she snorted.

By the time we rolled to a stop a few feet later, I could only hear one thing: the sound of a single police siren in front of the truck.

Chapter 10

E
ven
though I was at my wit’s end, I knew we were in trouble. Reckless driving. Evading a police officer. Murdering, or should I say running over, a supernatural creature.

“Does everyone have their license on them?” Heidi asked.

“It’s in my other trench coat,” Nick mumbled. He didn’t sound too good.

“Will he see mine if I pull it out?” The Muse laughed lightly.

“Not funny.” Heidi rolled her eyes. For once, I had to agree with her.

A speaker from the cop car blared, “Everyone out of the truck with your hands up. Nice and slow.”

Nick managed to unravel his hands from around my waist. I slowly pushed myself upright and rubbed the monstrous goose egg that was forming on my brow. Underneath my skin, I sensed my body already at work to mend anything that might be broken. But I’d still hit my noggin pretty hard. My upper lip felt a bit swollen, too.

Heidi opened her door and held her hands out. Should I be alarmed that she looked as if she knew
exactly
what to do? I’d seen enough cop reality shows to know most folks would be wetting their pants and professing their innocence. Heidi, however, just marched out with her
hands on top of her head, as if she’d been arrested every Sunday.

The Muse slowly followed her and tried to mimic her movements. She didn’t need to bother, of course.

On the other side of the truck, Nick opened the door with a groan. “My neck’s killing me.”

“I’ll trade your whiplash for my concussion,” I said.

He slumped out of the truck. “I’ll pass.”

“You ever been arrested before?” I whispered as we moved over to Heidi’s side of the truck.

“I distinctly remember asking you that question not too long ago.”

“And I remember you telling me you’ve never been.” It hurt like hell to rest my hands on my head. “I guess I get to say yes if you ask me again.”

The officer approached us and belted out, “Shut up!” Through his shoulder mike, he spoke briefly to dispatch. “I got ’em, off Shaw Road.”

The mike responded immediately. “ETA on backup is ten minutes, Stan. We got a 246 in Burnsville.”

“Roger that.” The cop marched up to us with his gun extended.

The pain in my head increased to the point where my vision doubled a few times. I wobbled a bit but still managed to stand.

“Okay,” the cop said. “Which one of you was drunk enough to take up two lanes for the past two miles?”

We exchanged glances. I tried to say a few things, but it came out as globbledygook. Then Heidi spoke up. She began the harrowing tale with a hitchhiker, along with his pet monkey, trying to get a ride with us. She lied through her teeth pretty well, didn’t even hesitate or stammer. The hitcher had tried to take over the truck, apparently. We’d managed to get rid of him, but his vicious monkey somehow ended up on the hood. Through Heidi’s quick thinking (and this was where I thought she
began to sound like she was full of shit), she’d managed to slam on the brakes and get rid of the monkey before we crashed into other innocent drivers.

No one said anything after that. What the hell could I say to back up a story about an evil hitcher and his trained killer monkey?

The officer’s face suddenly reddened. “Do you think I’m gonna believe some cockamamie story like that?”

Well, at least Heidi’d tried
.

Nick groaned and then shrugged at the cop, unsure of what to say.

“Stanley?” the Muse addressed the cop and took a step forward.

The cop’s gaze flicked in her direction. “Ma’am, you need to stand with the rest of them and keep your mouth shut.”

Abby whispered, “You shouldn’t listen to your wife about your book.”

All of our heads turned to her. First of all, the cop
saw
her. Second, what the
hell
was she talking about?

“Ma’am, this isn’t funny.”

“Go home and tell Rebecca that you’ve got a great story. The plot just needs a little work.” While she talked, something about her was different. It was as if only the two of them existed. It was like one of those scenes you saw in soap operas where the edges of the TV got all fuzzy. Abby’s features softened. And was I mistaken, or did she just lick her lips in a come-hither manner?

The Muse continued. “You will finish that book. You will get it published. You simply need to make sure she supports your decision.”

“I love Terry and Velma so much.” The hardened exterior of the cop faltered.

My hands plopped down to my sides. This whole scene had to be one of the effects of my concussion.

“I know you do,” Abby said softly. “The gods favor your efforts as well, but they won’t bestow their hand upon your words until you focus on those pages.”

“I will. I’ll do it today.” He nodded vigorously and stared at her adoringly. “Is this a dream?”

“A wet one?” the mermaid mumbled. I elbowed her to keep quiet.

“Only if you’re on the right path,” the Muse whispered. “Go home now. Your wife took a half day today.” She waved as the cop headed to his vehicle. “I expect you to finish chapter five tonight.”

“I will.” He waved fondly in her direction.

We watched the cop car speed away, its lights off.

For a few minutes, Heidi, Nick, and I stared at the gravel road, none of us finding words to talk about what had transpired.

Heidi broke the ice. “That was fucking awesome.”

“That was nauseating,” I said. My stomach quivered at the thought of the cop coming back. I turned to Abby. “How come he saw you? I thought only the authors you inspired could do that.”

Abby shrugged. “I’m not paired with my new author yet. Anyone who needs inspiration is fair game.”

We climbed back into the truck. The passenger-side door was in pretty bad shape as well as the window. A quick glance at my watch told me the obvious: two hours of travel time were gone.

While I brooded, Heidi teased Abby. “I’ve known you for years, and all this time I’ve never seen you in
action
.”

“In action? You make it seem like I’m a
porn
star or something.”

Heidi laughed so hard I wondered how she continued to drive. “I wasn’t the one licking my lips or pushing my boobs up for the cop to see.”

Abby appeared shocked. “Heidi! He’s a married man and an officer of the law.”

“How did you get so prudish all of a sudden?” Heidi’s hands left the wheel for a second and I about grabbed it. “When was the last time you had someone subscribe to your lady softness newsletter?”

Abby groaned. “Oh, don’t give me that again. I talk to guys on the phone sometimes.”

Since the wheel was safely back in Heidi’s hands, I felt it was safe enough to speak. “According to my best friend, Aggie, gentlemen callers are for virgins who aren’t giving it up.”

“Precisely,” Heidi said. “I go straight to the meatpacking plant. No need to wait for the spinsterhood delivery service.”

“What kind of term is ‘lady softness’?” Abby asked.

Heidi snorted. “You’re a Muse and you don’t know every term for a gal’s wooha?”

“I do. A man’s as well. But I don’t inspire people to use something as vulgar as the terms you use. I rather prefer the ones used in romance novels.”

“Oh, here we go.” The mermaid shook her head. “I’d like to apologize in advance for what’s about to happen.”

The Muse took a deep breath before she spoke. “There’s the quintessential classic phrase, ‘manhood.’ Then there’s ‘purple-headed warrior,’ ‘sword of ecstasy,’ ‘pulse-pounding hammer,’ and ‘velvet steel shaft.’ One of my personal favorites, from a science-fiction romance I helped an author write, was ‘staff of felicity and fervor.’ The alliteration is utterly delightful.”

“Felicity and fervor?”
I mumbled.

“Why did I agree to help you again?” Poor Nick sounded horrified.

Abby continued to list crazy names for a man’s love package, while my mind drifted back to calculating the time we had remaining to reach Maine. Only fourteen hours, and we still needed eight for driving. Heidi drove
the speed limit—at my request—so we could avoid little visits from the police.