Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (14 page)

“Don't you think I know that?” I snapped, running my fingers through my hair. I knew better than anyone the kinds of sacrifices that had to be made to bring dreams into reality. Sometimes, to get one wish right, you have to give up a hundred others.
Or at least one really, really big one.
“That's why I'm going to see her, to talk. Tomorrow, we'll crush the Sun Devils, alright?”

“Okay, dude,” Kai said, but he didn't sound convinced. Maybe I didn't sound convinced either? Fuck, I'd spent the night sending nude pictures to Teagan Fletcher. I must've been out of my damn mind. “Hurry back.”

“Try not to be bare assed and fucking when I come home.”

“I'll try,” he chortled as I slipped out the door and down to the parking lot. As I walked, I noticed that my palms were sweaty despite the cool drizzle outside the dorms. It was cold as hell, but I was hot as a pig with an erection to match. Thick, hard, hurting. I wanted to bury it inside Teagan's warm body, move until I made her moan, made her jaw go slack, her eyes roll back. I wanted it so bad I could practically taste it.

I pinched my wrist until it bruised, trying to drag my mind up from the gutter. We were going to coffee to talk, not to get get warmed up for another sexting session.
Or a screw in Alton Baker park.

I unlocked the doors to Kai's Mercedes.

I made her bleed. I used her.

Those thoughts would not stop haunting me. I needed this talk to clear my head. Thing was, I kept saying that to myself, that this visit with Teagan would make things better, but it only seemed to be getting worse. I tried cold turkey, two weeks and then some with no contact, and that didn't work either. The second she texted me, I fell right back into it.

Teagan Fletcher was a trap that I was falling for.

And I'd known all along this would happen.

How could I not fall for that face, those round pink cheeks, that wicked smile, the fiery red of her hair? It was a lost cause to even try and resist that. I needed to do what I'd done before and
run the hell away.

“Talk is cheap, Winship,” I told myself as I climbed in and started the engine purring. I could hardly believe Kai was lending me this thing, but then again, his dad could buy a whole fleet of them and barely feel the dip in weight of his wallet. “Act now, ponder later.” I was quoting Coach Deryl now. Not a good sign. “This is the last play right here. Do what you need to do and finish it.”

I sped all the way to Teagan's place, confident that the cops were well acquainted with this vehicle. Kai was a notorious speed demon, rich, a member of the team. Nobody pulled him over. The only guy on the team that was more privileged was Mason Fenna, and he was a fucking dick.

I smirked as I thought about practice, about how I'd whipped his ass in frigging everything. Of course, he wasn't that far behind me and that freaked me out.
I
was the best. Me. The team was
mine.
I needed to keep my head in the game and keep things that way.

When I arrived at Teagan's apartment, I stayed in the idling car and sent her a text. If I went up to that apartment, things might happen between us. Sweaty, hot, sticky, grabby things that made my jaw hurt when I clenched my teeth and reached down to cup my junk.

'I'm in the parking lot,'
I sent, rubbing myself as I wait for a response. It didn't help, just made things worse.

'Three minutes,'
she sent back, giving me a small window of opportunity to be an asshole. I pulled up the pictures of her breasts, her smooth belly, those sexy panties, and slid my hand into my jeans. My dick was almost literally on fire at that point, a bit of friction and a firm grip and I was coming hard and fast inside of
two
minutes. Not a performance I'd ever want to pull during a real game. Good thing Kai had wet wipes in his dash. Didn't want to know what they were for, but they came in handy for cleaning up.

“Hey,” Teagan said, pulling open the door at just right the moment. I felt like she'd be easier to look at if I took care of myself. She wasn't. Her hair was loose and wavy, curled and falling around her shoulders in gentle waves like a river of liquid fire. Her shirt was new, white, almost see through. I could see her bra, the deep line of cleavage at the V-neck. But it was her eyes that really got me. They were as green and beautiful as usual, but they were also puffy, makeup smeared, moisture glistening at the edges. “Sorry about that. My roommate kind of freaked when I told her I was going out with you.”

“Seriously?” I asked as I reached over and brushed a jiggling teardrop away with my thumb. I didn't mean to do it; it just happened. Teagan's eyes whipped over to me in shock and I withdrew my hand, stretching my arms above my head like I didn't give a shit. I watched as her gaze caught on the edge of my shirt as it rode up and exposed a few inches of my belly. Her pupils dilated and she glanced away suddenly. “Why? About what? Did she make you cry?”

“Oh,” Teagan said, like she didn't realize her emotions were still showing, reaching up to rub at her eyes. “Sorry. No, that's something different.” I stared at her, waiting for her to explain. Instead she just looked at me like there was an elephant in the room, one she really wanted to sweep under the rug. “About last night,” she began, but didn't bother to finish her sentence. I guessed I was supposed to finish it for her.

I tried. I used to be able to do that, you know. Not anymore, I guess.

“I shouldn't have started all that with you,” I said, hoping that was what she wanted to hear. It wasn't. I was fucking up again. Teagan looked away, out the window as her neighbor, that girl I almost slept with, climbed into the car next to us. They stared at each other for a few, agonizing seconds before the bitch flipped us off and peeled out of the parking lot in her ugly ass Prius.

When Teagan turned back to look at me, her lips were pursed and she was clearly pissed.

This day was not going to go well for me, was it?

“Never mind,” she stated, leaning back on Kai's leather seat and buckling her belt. I couldn't pull my eyes away from the spot where it crossed her breasts, squeezing her chest tight and making me feel like I was losing my mind. Boobs are cool, right. They're great, but they don't flip me on my lid like some virgin kid with a nudie mag.
This is ridiculous.
“Where are we going for coffee?”

“Never mind?” I asked, using my anger as a blanket. It was my definite go-to. Not a good choice, but an easy choice. “If you have something you want to say about last night, you should just say it.”

“I don't have anything to say, Tyce,” Teagan assured me, looking straight out the front windshield and refusing to meet my eyes. I studied her slim profile, her pert nose, the heart shaped curve of her jaw where it met her small ears. She was wearing Oregon State Beavers earrings, probably to piss me off. It was kind of funny actually. “Can we go now? I have a lot of homework to do tonight and you,” a pause that seemed to stretch on forever, “have a game tomorrow. Don't you have a physical therapist or a nutritionist or a personal masseuse or a world class ass kisser that you need to meet with before the game?”

“That's funny,” I said as I released the parking brake. “Really, Tea. It's nice to see you haven't lost your sense of humor. Nice earrings by the way.” For the briefest of seconds, her lips curved into a tight smile, but it dropped away just as quick. With the tension in the car between us, it was hard to imagine the passion that had coursed through my body last night. I might not have been touching her, but I felt
something.
Something I shouldn't have, granted, but it was so much better than this. “Do you want to talk about the pictures?”

Teagan snapped her gaze over to me, but she didn't move her head, just her eyes.

It struck me that this was the first time we'd seen each other in person since the park. Since I took her virginity. Since I left her alone at night at a crosswalk with blood between her thighs and my semen inside of her.

I punched the steering wheel, and her eyes got big. Huge. Like two fucking mossy moons, pale and green and flecked with silver. Eyes. Not something you usually notice about a person. Hell, I had a hard time even remembering what color Kai's eyes were when he wasn't around and they were blue as fuck. Teagan … four years without seeing her and I still dreamed about those
fucking
eyes.

“Tyce, are you … okay?”

“Are you?” I asked, putting my forehead in my hand and glancing over at Teagan. She just continued to stare at me, her mouth partially open, her brows raised. “Well, are you?”

“Why wouldn't I be okay?” she asked, but the question was riddled—
riddled—
with hidden emotions. I kept staring at her, the faint buzz of the radio barely audible over the whirring sound of air blasting from the heater. “And why are you so mad? What is there to be mad about?”

“I'm mad because you're not mad. I'm pissed because
you're
not pissed. Call me an asshole, a fucker, a dumbass, a pig. Say something, talk about it. You used to tell me everything, blurt what was on your mind at the most random times. And now, there's something seriously screwed up here that we need to talk about and you're being polite and quiet and … weird.”

“Weird?” she asked, her voice bursting from her mouth like the screech of some wild bird. That was better, though. Much better. As kids, we used to have these epic rows. Just
epic.
Sometimes we'd even hit each other, smack and push and shove. I needed to see that her spirit wasn't broken, that
I
hadn't broken it. “I
wanted
to talk to you, Tyce. I wanted to tell you how I was feeling, but you left too quick for me to get it out. So maybe I am being weird, okay? But you know why? Because that whole thing was weird.” She shoved her fingers through her hair, getting it all tangled up and mussy. I liked it so much better that way.

“What thing?” I asked. I knew. I was being a dick again.

“That thing in the park,” she gasped out, unbuckling her seatbelt and letting it whip back into place. I pressed lock on the doors. I was afraid she was going to get out and leave me with this nagging feeling of guilt and shame and longing and lust that was stirring up dust clouds inside my chest. It was the most horrible thing I'd ever felt, like I was fucking up so bad, irreparably bad. “Losing my virginity like that, with you. There. That way. You left. I was feeling things, Tyce.”

“What did you want me to do?” I was seriously asking that question, listening to the sudden burst of raindrops on the roof. I think Teagan took it the wrong way. She still wouldn't look at my eyes. My mouth, my forehead, my cheeks. All fair game. But not my eyes.

“Not sprint away from me. Talk to me. Talk to me
right then.
Not two weeks and five days later.”

I almost smiled at that.

“You've been counting?”

Teagan rolled her window down a bit and stuck her head out, closing her eyes against the drops of rain before tucking herself back into the car. She took a deep breath, staring down at the white and blue leggings she was wearing. They stuck to her shapely calves, her tight thighs, like a second skin. When I'd left, Teagan had been a cute girl, but she was definitely a woman now.

“You should've had some compassion, Tyce. Pretending not to know me, flirting me with like that, like I was some Ducks fan at a tailgate party.” She shook her head, took another deep breath. I stared at her, at her smudged makeup and I wondered if maybe
I
was the reason she'd been crying. God, I hoped not. I might not be able to give her what she wanted, but I sure as shit didn't want to make her cry. “And then … I waited a long time to lose my virginity, to have my first kiss.”

“I was your first kiss?” That was news to me. I felt sick. I wanted to throw up. I slept around with girls who knew what they were doing, not people like Teagan. Teagan needed a boyfriend, someone to hold her at night, give her the attention she deserved. I was screwing that up completely.

She ignored me, picking at the fabric of her leggings, focusing intently on the ratty old tennis shoes she was wearing. I desperately wanted to get her new ones. But I didn't have a job. And I didn't have any money, not really. Everything I needed, the school, the team, they gave it to me. But as a college athlete, I didn't get paid. Even more proof that I wasn't ready for a girlfriend, a lover, anybody at all really.

“It might not have been a big deal to you, Tyce, but you leaving, it screwed me up so bad. I'm still reeling over the idea that you're here, that we're sitting in a car together. I almost threw up when I saw you.”

“I panicked, too. That's why I pretended I didn't know you. I had no clue what to say.”

“So you … cupped your junk and asked me to sleep with you?”

She had a serious point. Maybe I was suffering from brain damage or something? A few too many tackles on the field I guess.

“I'm sorry,” I said, and I really meant it. No strings attached.

“Can we go to coffee now?” she whispered, and I nodded. A cup of java might not fix everything, but it sure as hell wouldn't hurt.