Read Kicking and Screaming Online
Authors: Jordan Silver
MAXIE
"Don't you have a breakfast to upchuck Jenny? Why don't you take Mr. Clueless and your twit of a sister to the outdoor pool? I think I'll stay here for another hour or so."
The nitwit actually stomped her foot. If I’d been born with half her malfunctions I would’ve drowned myself at birth.
"You get out of there right this minute, it's our time, and besides, it's cold out there, we can't use the outdoor pool."
"You could do with a cooling down, it's thirty degrees outside, just enough to cool you off hot pants."
If she got any redder she’d singe. “That shade of puce does not suit you at all Jennifer. It does go rather well with the yellow tinge on your head where I knocked you one.
You wanna try for another one, keep pestering me. Now take your entourage and head out so I can get back to what I was doing. That goes for you too Don Quixote.”
The jackass had the nerve to shake his head at me and grin while folding his arms like he was preparing for a show.
"I'm telling mother about this." Geez was she still here?
"Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier? Oh dammit, here comes the other one. You better tell her not to say one word to me or I'll finish what I started with you last night on her bony ass."
"I can't believe we're related, I think mother brought home the wrong baby, I mean look at us and then look at you."
Oh she was going to get it. So what I have a plump ass, it's not like I made myself, besides its the only thing big on me.
"Listen you anorexic bean pole, don't start or I'll drown you swear to..."
"Ladies, ladies lets not degenerate into violence. Again."
"Oh stuff it you twerp; who the hell speaks like that? Get a grip would ya."
"I'm thirty two sweet cheeks, I think I've outgrown twerp status."
"Don't call me that, I don't like it." I was about to turn into a prune if I had to stay in this water one second longer. Why can’t these people just leave me alone anyway?
"I pretty much don't care what you like, you haven't been exactly welcoming to me now have you? In fact you've been downright rude and obnoxious, so why should I care what you like or don't like?"
"What did I do to you, except stay out of your way?" I don’t like the way he was trying to make me feel like a recalcitrant child. I had a very excuse for my behavior, not that he would think so the snake.
"If you don't know, then you're more screwed up than I thought."
"Eat shit and die."
"Maxie...." Dammit, why was she always catching me? How come she was never around when Jenny Baby and Miranda the pest were being menaces? It was always me, crap.
"Out of there this instant young lady."
"But mom...”
"Now!"
Crap, now he's going to see my bubble butt, just great. I’m going to die of mortification.
I fixed my bikini before climbing out, head down and face red as fire.
Just one word and I’ll knock you into next week ass-wipe.
I just know he was staring at the extension that was attached to my lower back.
My ass is a great source of confusion, or has been in the past. Men seem to salivate over it and women seem to see it as an abomination that I should be doing everything in my power to eradicate.
I have no idea where it came from, since neither my mother nor any of my sisters suffer from the same dilemma.
Whatever, if he makes any off color comments I’ll just push him into the pool.
JACKSON
Sweet merciful...it should be a crime for someone with such a sour disposition to have such a magnificent ass, not to mention the rest of her.
She was pure magic, but somehow I doubted she knew it. She’d pretty much sewn me up with her piano playing, but that ass alone was worth putting up with her mouth.
I felt my cock twitch when she leaned to the side to wring the water from her hair. Fucking perfection that’s what she was, and I knew I was in trouble.
Wait a minute what the fuck was I thinking? Down boy, that one would snap you off at the root for sure. No way, we're not going there, I like my balls just where they are.
But damn I sure would like to, the problem was, I didn’t have the time it would take to tame her. Someone with that much fire and passion, it would take me a week at least to ride her into submission.
The more I thought of having her beneath me, the more appealing the idea became, but no, I don’t think so.
She seemed embarrassed, and I didn’t like the way she seemed to be trying to hide her body, like she was ashamed of it or something. It was only at her sister’s next words that I understood.
MAXIE
"You really ought to look into some sort of surgery." Jenny snickered behind me and I felt anger as well as tears well up inside.
"It's like she has another human being coming out of there." Miranda just had to ass her two cents as well.
"Now girls, play nice." Well that took care of the tears at least. "What the...now girls play nice? I get yelled at like a two year old and all you can say to these two evil twats is play nice? Thanks a lot mom way to be impartial."
I finally grabbed my towel and brushed past Jackson. I'm so embarrassed. I can hardly pick my head up. No doubt he wanted to laugh like the rest of them.
"Maxie..."
"It's okay mom, nothing new, you've been doing it all my life why change now?"
I practically ran from the room before the stupid tears could fall. What did I care what that old stuff shirt thought anyway? He wasn’t going to be here much longer, and after the wedding I probably won’t have to see too much of him.
Upstairs I got dressed in jeans and a thick sweater, which I covered with my bomber jacket. A nice ride out to the Club is just what I need.
I turned up the radio as I brushed my hair just to give me a little pep I guess, and my song beat through the air.
Mom would probably be up here any second telling me to turn it down. ‘Girl I heard you were a wild one, ooh ooh ooh ooooooohhh.’ I sang at the top of my voice to exorcise the pain that was in my heart.
I didn’t let myself think of the embarrassment as I finally made my way down the stairs and out the door.
I was still a little peeved, but already I felt better. Nothing like escaping the madness to free up my mind and make me feel human again.
I should never have stayed home in the first place. I knew from past experience that the tow banes of my existence loved to show me up in front of strangers, they seem to get some type of inordinate satisfaction from it. I wish to hell I knew what I’d ever done to them.
Oh well, I don’t have to think about it anymore, mom can bitch all she likes I’m done.
I hopped on my bike and could already feel the wind on my face as I rode to freedom.
***
JACKSON
What the hell are they talking about, are they insane? There's nothing wrong with her body; she's amazing. Well all except for the attitude, but if she had to deal with what I'd just witnessed on a regular basis, then I guess I could understand.
"Come on Jackson she's gone, we can have fun now." Jenny came over to grab my hand.
"I don't think so." At least I kept the censor out of my voice, which was as much as I was willing to give.
I turned and left the room, their stunned gazes following me. I might come off as a bit of a bastard, but I never liked bullies and that's exactly what they’d been to their sister just now.
She had a lot of spunk that one, but I noticed she never attacked unless she was attacked. She was no shrinking violet that’s for sure, but I think her barbs were more about self-preservation than any real need to be mean.
And I could just be full of shit because she was growing on me and I didn’t like the idea of anyone picking on her.
I heard a bike revving outside the window as I walked through the vestibule, and was just in time to see black locks under a helmet, as the sweetest ride I'd ever seen disappeared down the driveway.
"You have got to be kidding me, no way, it can't be."
"She's something isn't she? My little Jack-of-all-trades! She built that thing herself, started when she was sixteen. Says it's her de stressor, after a concert tour she'd come home and work away in the garage."
Her father appeared out of nowhere to stand next to me in the window where I was still coming to terms with what I’d just seen.
"She's one talented lady. I didn't recognize her at first, I mean I've never seen her in concert, but I do have her recordings, the name just never registered and Mike never said anything."
"Jan probably asked him not to, that's imp's deal, she'll have to be the one to tell you about it."
"Imp?"
"Oh, I meant Maxie, force of habit."
"I was just thinking how appropriate the name is." It brought a smile to my face, and I was pleased to see that at least the father had a genuine affection for her. It made me feel better somehow, knowing that she had someone in her corner; so much for not getting involved.
"Don't tell her I called her that in front of you, she'd use my guts for garters."
"Is she really that bad?"
"Worst, she's a holy terror, don't tell her I said that either."
“I’ll try not to, but I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I don’t think your daughter likes me very much. We probably wouldn’t have much cause to have a conversation where it would ever come up.”
“Oh I wouldn’t say all that now. It takes a lot to get my imp to actually hate a person.
Not to worry, she’ll come around sooner or later, but in the meantime, I’d see about investing in some protective gear if I were you. The girl does seem to have an inordinate amount of hostility where you’re concerned.
He walked away whistling with his hands shoved into his pockets.
What a strange family. I didn't take his words to heart though, since he'd been smiling when he said them.
***
I spent the morning with Janet and Mike, going over their wedding plans. I was trying to find a way to pump her for information on her sister, without seeming too obvious.
In the end, for some reason, I decided I would rather get my answers from the source.
Granted I might come out of that encounter looking like I'd taken on a rabid raccoon without protective gear, but what the heck.
One thing was puzzling. I had been under the impression that she resented my wealth, but although her worth wasn't even on the same scale as mine, her millions were nothing to scoff at.
I was also going to have a talk with my investigative department; they hadn't come up with anything on her.
They'd only listed her as a sister that was all. I think since they were still so young and didn't have criminal records, (which I found to be a minor miracle for the fire breather) the team had overlooked them.
But how could they have overlooked an international star? And what was with all the secrecy surrounding her name?
I’d had a thorough search done from the minute Mike had told me of his choice for a wife. It’s not like I’d done it behind his back, he knew that I would and had even joked about my over protectiveness.
My men hadn’t found anything that would throw up any red flags for a cynic like me; in fact, they were all pretty normal.
Janet was the eldest at twenty-five, Miranda was next at Twenty-three, then came Maxie, who was almost twenty-one, well she will be in five months time; and last there was Jennifer, who was going to be nineteen soon as well.
My men had focused on Janet and the parents, especially the father's business dealings.
The other thing bothering me, was her crack about Sophia Ambrose. I wasn't that close to Sophia, so had no idea what it was Maxie thinks I might've done.
I guess there was only one way to find out, but now I’d have to wait until she came back from her ride. I shook my head as I walked away from the window.
This weekend was not turning out to be anything like I’d expected. I wonder what kind of mood she’d be in when she returned? And I found that I couldn’t wait to find out.
The damn infuriating girl was making herself very unforgettable indeed. If her plan was to stay under the radar for whatever reason and not bring herself to my attention, she’d failed miserably on that score.
Since I’d landed on her parents’ doorstep she’s all I have been thinking about. Even as I was listening to Janet go on and on with excitement about her big day, my thoughts were on Maxie and what she was going to look like in her dress.
MAXIE
"What has you in such a snit little dove?"
"Nothing, I'm very fine, thank you."
"Yep, that's why you're trying to kill us both with these daredevil stunts; is it the witches again?"
"Nope, I'm just fine." I’d be much better if I could punch somebody in the face, but today wasn’t shaping up to be in my favor.
"How's Mike's friend?" Why can’t I escape him, even here where I am sure of a warm welcome and a shoulder to lean on?
"Ugh, must we talk about him?"
"Huh, you ever think that maybe you’re being a bit unfair to him? I mean, how do you know that that chick was telling the truth anyway?"
"Why would she lie?" don’t out thoughts in my head, especially since I’ve been harboring doubts myself. Why must life be so damn complicated? Why can’t everything be black and white?
"Who knows, maybe she was jealous because he asked you to perform for his mother's party and not her, I don't know. Did he do anything last night to make you believe he was the type of guy she said he was?"
"Well, he was rather chummy with the witless wonders."
"Was he chummy with them or were they chummy with him?"
"What difference does it make?" I gave him the stink eye because he was trying to confuse me again. He might be the closest thing to a brother that I’ve got, but he can be a royal pain in my ass when he puts his mind to it.
"It makes all the difference in the world squirt."
"I don't know; I'll have to think about it. You know you're not bad for a pseudo big brother."
He ruffled my hair where it laid on his shoulder as he listened to me whine like a two- year old brat.
I could still feel the sting of embarrassment in my cheeks from that idiot brining attention to my ass. I should’ve drowned them all when I had the chance.
Now I was going to have to go back there at some point and face him again or mom would make my life a living hell.
"I know it; now let's go see what you've been up to on the scooter."
"Oooh, are you gonna rig the motor for me please Jonas, please, please, please."
"If I give you a racing bike motor Conrad would skin me alive."
"How would he know? Come on Jonas." I gave him the pouty mouth.
"You do know I'm a badass bike builder and the best racer here and in Europe; that shit shouldn't work on me."
"But it does right, you know you can't deny me anything."
"We'll see, but I'm not hopping it up too much."
"Thanks Jonas, you're the best." I was starting to feel better already.
He studied me for longer than was comfortable before speaking.
"You know if those two are giving you a hard time, I'd be more than happy to put green dye in their shampoo again."
"I don't think that'll work twice, we got way with it once, have to come up with something else."
***
Jonas and I headed to my house, where my mother was busy being the perfect hostess. Since it was going to be a long weekend, that Collins person was going to be here one more day.
Of course the slag of Babylon and her sidekick were in rare form. They'd even broken out the crotch shot dresses.
Since I'd decided to never speak to anyone in my family again, except for Janet, it was easy to ignore them. Jonas on the other hand was a shit stirrer.
"Jenny, you're having a shoot today?"
She preened under his attention, although she never had a kind word for him, suddenly she was all smiles what a ninny.
"No Jonas, why, do I look like I'm ready for the runway?"
When Jonas double-checked to make sure mom was preoccupied, I knew he was up to no good.
"No, it's just that I've never seen that much naked flesh outside a swimsuit photo shoot."
"Very funny, why don't you and my delightful sister go build an engine or something? We're having company and mother could do with a little rest from the embarrassment."
"Oh no you don't."
Before I could chuck yet another family heirloom at her head, I felt someone take my arm and wrestle the Dresden vase from my hand.
JACKSON
"Give that back you cretin." She looked at me with murder in here eyes as I said the one thing that seemed to rub her the wrong way.
"No."
I swear if she could, she would've ended me right then and there, the fire breather was back in full force.
I was surprised to find that I had missed her while she was gone. The place felt empty without her, and her sisters’ prattle was even more annoying than usual without her wit there to combat it.
"Settle down, you're giving them exactly what they want, don't you see that?" I whispered the warming in her ear, not that it did me any good.
She looked at me as though trying to figure out my angle, there wasn't one.
I just hated the way these two got after her. Though she hadn't been kind to me in the least, I still didn't like the way they treated her. I could deal with her barbs; I couldn't deal with her being mistreated; or the look in her eyes, when she ran away this morning.
"Actually no, I don't think they want to be brained on a regular basis, but it's been my only form of entertainment around here since I was five or six. Now get the hell out of my way before I knee you in the nut sac."
"Give her to me Collins, I'll see that she behaves." Her father came up behind us and took her arm.
She gave me the stink eye as they call it, and I saw all manner of retribution promised in those eyes of hers.
I left her to him since he seemed to be the only one who could control her, for now. I kept my eye on her to make sure that she was okay, that her father wasn’t about to upset her the way his wife seemed to all the time, and wondered at my interest.