Kindled (Book 3 The Kindred Series) (11 page)

   His hand wrapped firmly around the back of her head, his long fingers buri
ed
into her hair. “If you want to turn me away again, I will go. It will kill me
,
but I w
i
l
l
do anything for you. But you have to know that I will not leave your life Cassie. I can’t. Not when you won’t take care of yourself, and not with Julian and Isla out there. I will
be here for you
until I am certain that you are safe
.”

   She stared at him in stunned surprise. He was so fierce
,
so intense, and so desperately in need of her. Swallowing heavily, she couldn’t stop herself from reaching out to stroke his magnificent face. It had been so long since she had touched him, held him, felt him. Today in the cemetery she had been too distraught to feel the bliss that he brought
to
her.
But now
,
t
he peace that he
gave h
er
began to
ste
al
slowly through her body, seeping into her pores, warming her soul. He turned into her touch, nuzzling her gently. She could feel his desperate need for her; feel the
tension that radiated from him
as his hand tightened upon her. He was a man trapped in the desert and she was his water.

   “How could you forgive me?” she murmured.

   “I could forgive you anything. You forgave me.”

   He took hold of her
hand, keeping it pressed to his
face as she stared at him in confusion. “Forgave you for what?”

   He smiled softly at her.
“For my past, for everything that I ha
ve
done.
For everything that I was.
”

  
“But there was nothing to forgive you for.
You didn’t do those things to
me
Devon; you are different now than you were then.
”

  
“There was plenty, you just
never
realize
d
it
because that is who you are Cassie
.”

   Wonder filled her as she gazed at him. Maybe she didn’t deserve his love now, but she would do everything in her power to deserve it from now on. She w
ould do everything she could to
make it up to him for the way that she had treated him
over
the past couple of weeks. “I love you too,” she whispered.
“Always.”

   Leaning forward, she meant only to place a chaste kiss upon his lips. But it had been too long
,
and as their mouths met she felt the instant flare of heat
.
A
s
urge of power and love and need
r
o
se up
between them
.
Everything swirled forth,
burying her beneath the tumult of emotions that tore through her. Devon’s hands clenched upon her, his fingers clasp
ed
firmly hold of her skull.

   She knew instantly that she had made
a mistake;
he had been denied too long. He had been turned away,
lost and wounded. N
ow she was accepting him
again, and his need, his
desire
was more intense than she had ever felt
it
before.
And so was hers.

   S
he fell into him, heat pooled
through her entire body.
His love warmed her soul;
it
heal
ed
her
as it
blend
ed
into her. She had been wrong to turn him away. He was the only
person that could truly make her whole and right
.
The only person that could ease the pain and anger that had taken up residence inside of her.
Her mouth opened to his invasion, she welcomed him with a soft sigh, her hands tighten
ed
upon him. He was her life raft in a world turned completely
u
pside down.

   The kiss became more frantic, more desperate. His muscles were clenched, standing out sharply in his forearms.
His teeth elongated, pressing against her lower lip.
Though they were slightly painful
against
her, the feel of them caused
excitement
to
spur
t
through her
as she began
to tremble with
need
. She was falling away, rapidly losing control. The world spun wildly, lurching violently.

   Cassie clung tighter to him, needing something to keep her grounded
in
the chaos that her life had become
. He pulled
suddenly
away from her,
nearly causing her to fall off the bed. H
is head bow
ed
as h
is shoulders shook
.
Cassie knew ho
w he felt;
she could barely
catch her
breath. Her heart was pounding rapidly, her body tingl
ed
with burning excitement and unfulfilled desire.

   “Devon,” she ran her hand through his thick
black
hair, trying to soothe him.

   He pulled further away, shaking his head as he moved out of reach. Tears filled her
eyes;
tightness clenched her chest
as she recalled all of the problems they’d had
even
before her grandmother died.
She clearly r
ecalled his struggle to control himself around her, his fear that he would hurt her. They had weathered
this last
storm
together
, but there was a much larger hurricane still in their way.
 

   Despair washed over her. She swallowed down the heavy lump that had lodged in her throat. She couldn’t lose him again; she had just gotten him back. She needed him.
Without him
,
her life was lost and lonely and full of anger and despair. He was a part of her, and being near her hurt him.
It hurt him physically and emotionally, it tore at him as he battled constantly with himself just to stay in her presence
without h
a
r
min
g her
.
Cassie shuddered, hugging herself again as he rose to his feet, moving with easy grace to her bureau.

   Grabbing hold of the tray, he turned back to her again.
His jaw was locked tight, a muscle in his cheek
was
jumping from the force of it
but he seemed determined to stay near her as he slowly approached again. “It might be easier if you sit in the chair.”

   Cassie shook her head; her stomach was too tight to put food in it right now. “I’m not that hungry,” she said softly.

   His eyes flared with heat, the muscle in his cheek jump
ed
more forcefully. “You need to
eat;
you need to start taking care of yourself.”
   “Devon…”
   “When was the last time you ate?” he demanded sharply.

   Cassie opened her mouth to answer, and then snapped it closed again. Her forehead furrowed as she tried to recall the last time she had eaten a full meal. The fact that the answer eluded her was more than a little troubling.
She hadn’t been hungry lately, she
had been too angry to be hungry
but she had eaten at some point in time
.
S
he would have had too. Wouldn’t she?

   Shaking her head, Cassie tried to clear it of he
r
troubling thought
s
. She must have snacked at least, but she really couldn
’
t remember when. “I don’t know,” she admitted reluctantly, troubled by the answer.

   The tension in him notch
ed
up a level as his eyes scanned swiftly over her. Cassie stiffened beneath his questioning, troubled gaze. When his eyes came back to hers, there was a fear in them that she didn’t understand and that troubled her. “What’s wrong?” she asked softly.

   He shook his head. “Nothing,” he mumbled. “Come on, get in the chair.”

   She really didn
’
t feel like eating but she thought he might force feed her if she didn’t
try
. Or
,
he might snap. Deciding to heed his wishes, she slid from the bed
and
plodd
ed
slowly over to her armchair in the corner.
He placed the tray in her lap, pulling the cover off the plate of foo
d. She frowned down at the toast
and oatmeal.

   “Your stomach probably couldn’t handle a big meal right now,” he
explained
.

   Cassie glanced up at him, managing a wan smile. Picking up the spoon, she picked slowly at the oatmeal. She was surprised by how good it tasted, but she simply could not work up an
appetite. “Are you going to watch me the whole time?” she asked sof
tly, picking up a piece of toast
.

  
He eyed her wearily for a few seconds. “I could use a shower.”

   Cassie smiled at him, waving her hand toward her bathroom. “Go on, I promise I’ll eat it all, but you’re making me nervous.”
   He managed a small grin
before
nodding briefly to her. T
urn
ing
away,
he
plodd
ed
into the bathroom
and
shut the door. Cassie ate slowly
, listening as the water turned on. She wasn’t fooled into thinking he would be in there for long. Focusing her attention on the oatmeal, she forced more of it down. It wasn’t until the shower turned off that
she realized
the rest of the house was oddly silent. Where were Chris, Dani, and Melissa? They had been her constant shadows for the past two weeks, never letting her out of their sight
, but she
could
hear nothing beyond
Devon’s shuffling around
.

   The bathroom door opened, Devon’s head popped out. His black hair was tussled and damp
;
it
curl
ed
boyishly across his forehead. His eyes narrowed on her half eaten oatmeal. Cassie’s mouth went dry
and
part
ed
slightly; her eyes almost bulged out of her head as he stepped out of the bathroom.

   He had not placed his shirt back on,
leaving
the hard muscle
s
of his chest, and the ridged lines of his abdomen
revealed to her
. His skin was still damp, the glistening water only serv
ed
to highlight the carved muscles that ran through him. He was magnificent, beautiful and hard. Her heart turned over,
it
pound
ed
in
her chest as excitement spurted through her,
causing
her toes
to curl
.

   Her forgotten spoon hung limply in her hand. Despite the intimacies they had shared, she had never seen him without his shirt on
.
N
ow
,
she never wanted to see him with it on again. Taking a
deep breath, Cassie fought back the shiver of desire that raced through her. She raised her gaze slowly to his, finding his emerald eyes upon her, watching her keenly.
An answering spark of hunger and desire glimmered brightly from them.

   She was unable to keep back the shiver again as it raced through her, tearing up her back,
and
leaving her weak. She dropped her spoon, knowing that she would not get another bite into her, not now.
Lowering her gaze to the tray, she was ashamed at the heat that flared through her cheeks, crep
t
down her neck
and
set her skin aflame.
“I’m done,” she managed to whisper, her voice choked and hoarse.

  
“Maybe you should eat more.”

   She shook her head, unable to meet his gaze again. She had been gaping at him like an idiot, completely revealing her inadequac
y around the male form.
Around
his
form.
She had always been a little embarrassed by her lack of experience a
round him, now she was
mortified
. He must think she was an idiot.