King of Campus (40 page)

But still… I wanted this.  Wanted to know I could hold my own with professionals. People who actually make their living in the world of dance.

“What does Eric say?”

I blow out a long slow breath before answering.  “That it can take time.  They video all the auditions and have to review it, narrow down the field, and then make decisions.”

Lexie nods as if that makes perfect sense.  Which I’m not saying it doesn’t…  It’s just that all this waiting is killing me.

Just as she opens her mouth to say something more, there’s a knock on the apartment door.  Glancing at me, she hurries towards it.  Since I’m sitting on the couch, I don’t have a clear sightline to the door.  All I can hear are murmured voices pitched low.

When I finally hear the door close a few moments later, Lexie comes padding back towards me and…. drumroll please… Dylan is a few steps behind her.

I bolt up on the couch.  My gaze bounces from Lexie to Dylan and then back again.  “Hey, Dylan.”  I’m not sure what this means… if anything.  Dylan and Lexie still aren’t together.  He’s been trying to give her the space she asked for.  Where he used to drop over unannounced all the time, he never does that anymore.

Since Roan and I spend time together at his apartment, I see Dylan with a fair amount of frequency.  We’ve talked, but there isn’t a whole lot for me to say.  He’s definitely not the happy-go-lucky, affable guy I met the day before classes started.  Ever since the breakup, he’s been a lot quieter.  More introverted and melancholy.  He spends more time in the gym working out and running outside.  His body is definitely more fit and cut than it was before.

“Roan mentioned you had an audition in Cincinnati over the weekend.  How did it go?”

“I haven’t heard anything so….” my voice falls away as I shrug my shoulders, “apparently not that well.”  There’s no question about it- rejection sucks.

But that’s the way it goes when you’re pursuing a career in the arts.  You have to really believe in yourself, be persistent, always be honing your craft, and have a thick skin.

He nods as our eyes hold.  “I’m sure it’ll work out, Ivy.”

I can’t help but hoist a smile at his kind words.  “It will,” I finally agree, “One way or the other.”  At this point, that’s all I can tell myself.

He gives me a slight smile in return.  But again, it’s certainly not a full blown Dylan Sullivan grin.  Even though I understand why Lexie felt the need to pull away and get some perspective, my heart goes out to Dylan.  He’s a really good guy and he’s been a great boyfriend.  I just hope when Lexie finally decides she wants him back, he’s still available.

As silence falls over the three of us, his eyes flit back to Lexie.  Clearing her throat, she jerks her head towards the bedroom.  “We’re going to talk for a bit.” With that being said, they disappear inside her room.

My fingers are crossed that they’ll be able to work everything out.

Feeling restless, I click through a handful of channels but can’t find anything interesting to hold my attention.  Just as I shut off the TV, my phone starts buzzing.  All but falling on top of it, I almost swallow my tongue when I see an unknown area code flashing across the screen.

Five-one-three.

Wait… I think
… I think that’s a Cincinnati number!

Shooting off the couch, I stare at the screen as it continues buzzing in my hand.  An odd kind of paralysis seizes every single muscle in my body.  It’s like I’m frozen with nerves.  I’ve been waiting for this call for the past three days and now that it’s finally happening, I scared to answer it.  By the third ring, I know I have to hit accept or it’ll end up going to voicemail.

Quickly whispering a small prayer, I stab my finger at the screen before bringing the phone to my ear.  The breath trembles from my lips as I say, “Hello?”

If feels as if my heart actually skips a beat as I wait for the voice on the other end.  I think an eternity slowly slips by before someone finally says, “Hello?  Is this Ivy Kaster I’m speaking with?”

All the saliva in my mouth instantly dries as he utters my name.  “Yes,” my voice wobbles as I answer, “this is Ivy.”

“Hi, Ivy, this is Carter Moliter from the Cincinnati Ballet.”  When I don’t immediately respond, he continues, “I’m calling in regards to the audition that took place on Saturday.”

Oh god. This is it. 
This is really it!
  A shiver of apprehension slides down my spine making the skin on my arms prickle with gooseflesh.  My entire future rests on this moment.  On his next few words.

Instead of sounding strong and confident, my voice comes out sounding all breathy and whispery.  “Yes?”

“As you know, we have two spots to fill for on pointe dancers in the corps de ballet.  And there were a little more than two hundred dancers who auditioned with us.”

Something in my belly clenches at his words.  Maybe he isn’t calling with good news after all.  I mean, is it really possible that I was chosen from over two hundred other dancers?

“The judges were all incredibly impressed with the sheer volume of talent that showed up.  We really couldn’t have asked for a better pool of candidates to choose from.  After watching all of the auditions and reviewing the video, we were able to narrow the field down to twelve dancers who we felt would be wonderful additions to the company.”

Yep.  This is bad.  Maybe I’m talented… but not talented enough to compete for a spot with the Cincinnati Ballet.  With my knees suddenly feeling weak, I fall back onto the couch.

Clearing my throat, I finally say, “All of the dancers were immensely talented.  It was an honor and privilege just to audition for the Cincinnati Ballet.”  It’s a struggle to keep my voice light even though there is so much disappointment trapped within my chest.  But the words are absolutely true.  The talent that showed up for the audition on Saturday blew me away.

“As I’m sure you’re aware of, The CBC prides itself on the outstanding quality of its dancers and choreographers.  We can only invite the most talented individuals to join us.”

“Of course.”  And I, apparently, am not one of the most talented.  God… this hurts even more than I imagined it would.

I’ve spent years auditioning for spots.  I’ve had to audition for every dance team I ever belonged to as well as Barnett and a few other colleges I was considering.  Not to mention the Conservatoire.  I had to put together a video and be critiqued by my instructors.  So, I’m used to the process.  And I realize it’s not going to work out in my favor every single time.  They could have been looking for something specific.  Taller.  Shorter.  Blonde.  Brunette.  You just never know…

But the Cincinnati Ballet...

This was the first
real
audition for a professional gig I’ve ever been on.

And I didn’t get it.

“Congratulations, Ivy, you were selected from over two hundred outstanding candidates for one of our positions.  I hope you realize what a great honor this is.”

His words take me completely by surprise.  “
What?
”  I’m barely able to whisper the word.  “You’re saying,” I have to gulp down all the thick emotion clawing its way into my throat, “you’re saying I’ve been selected to dance for the Cincinnati Ballet?”

My mind is literally spinning.  I was so sure he was trying to let me down easy.

The man on the other end chuckles.  “Yes, you have.  The judges were all very impressed.  You’re a very talented young woman.”

“I-I can’t believe this.”  The hot sting of tears pricks the back of my eyes as I hold the phone to my ear.

The only thing that could possibly make this moment any better is if my mom was here to celebrate this achievement with me.  She loved dance so much.  It was because of her, that I even started taking ballet classes in the first place.

“Thank you Mr. Moliter.  Thank you so much!”  I still can’t believe this is really happening to me.

“You’re welcome, Ivy.  Now, when can you be here in Cincinnati?”

Taking a deep breath, everything swirls around in my brain.  I can barely think straight.

Shaking my head to clear it, I ask, “When do I need to be there?”

“The sooner, the better.  I’m not going to lie, the first couple months are going to be grueling.  You’ll have to learn all new choreography.  It’ll be long hours spent in the studio.”  He sounds like he’s shuffling through some papers before he finally says, “I see you’re attending college right now.”  There’s a slight pause.  “Is this going to be a problem for you?”

Even though he can’t see me, I shake my head.  “No.  I just need to speak with my professors and the school to see if there’s any way for me to still get credit for the classes I’m currently enrolled in.”

There’s more shuffling at his end before he says, “The most I can give you is three weeks to tie up any loose ends.  There are a number of girls who share apartments and I can give you a few names to contact so you can get a place lined up.”

Oh my god… I’ll have to find a place to live and I have three weeks to do it.

“Okay, that would be great.”

“Wonderful, Ivy.  I’m going to give you my number, once you’ve settled everything at your end, let me know when you’ll be arriving in Cincinnati.  I’m also going to send you some paperwork to look over.  Okay?”

“Yes, that sounds good.”  I scribble down the names and numbers of the girls.

“And, Ivy?”

“Yes?”

I can hear the smile in his voice as he finally says, “Welcome to the Cincinnati Ballet.”

“Thank you.”  I can’t help but squeeze my eyes tightly shut as I kick my legs in the air from where I’m sitting on the couch.  “Thank you, so much!”

We say our goodbyes and I sit there for I-don’t-know-how-long just staring at the phone in my still shaking hand.  My whole body is literally vibrating with excitement.

I’m going to dance with the Cincinnati Ballet!

My first impulse is to run over to Roan’s apartment and tell him the good news.

Just as I’m about to sprint next door, a few doubts start to niggle their way into my brain.  I mean, how are we going to make our relationship work with me in Cincinnati and him here at Barnett?

Mr. Moliter said the first couple months would be difficult.  Which isn’t a surprise.  I’m going to have all new choreography to learn.  An entire show worth.  The hours will be long.  Exhausting.  It’s doubtful I’ll have any spare time to even visit Roan.  And with football, school, and getting ready for the draft, neither will he.

Inhaling a deep breath, I try calming my racing thoughts.  Even though I’m absolutely thrilled to receive such a coveted offer, there’s a downside that is just beginning to slam into me.  I don’t really want to leave Roan behind.  I’m afraid I’ll lose him if I do.  It’s not like we’ve been together for very long.  Hell, it’s only been a little over a month.  Everything between us is still relatively new.

I’ll also have to leave school.  I have absolutely no idea if I’ll be able to salvage any of my credits for fall semester which has already been paid for with scholarships and financial aid.  Even though I’ve earned A’s in my courses, there’s still all of November and part of December to get through before the semester is over. I have no idea if I can complete the class work from Cincinnati.  It’s entirely possible the school might not allow me to do that.

And then there’s Lexie.  After nearly a year and a half of separation, it’s been so nice rooming with her again.  What kind of friend will I be if I bale on her when I just got back?  I also signed a yearlong contract with her for the apartment.  Can I really just take off and leave her high and dry?  I hate that Lexie will have to scramble around for a new roommate.

With all of these thoughts churning in my head, I slowly lower myself back down to the couch.  Was I seriously giddy just a moment ago about leaving?  How did getting an opportunity to dance for the Cincinnati Ballet turn out to be a bad thing?  It’s almost mind boggling.

Not knowing what else to do, I head over to Roan’s so I can share the news with him and we can talk about how we’ll make our relationship work.  My step falters as I open the door that leads to the hallway between our apartments.

What if he thinks it’s just easier to end things between us?

I mean, that’s a real possibility.  And I can’t exactly blame him if that’s what he decides to do.  I was seeing Finn for six months and he probably started cheating on me as soon as my plane hit cruising altitude.  I don’t really think Roan would do that but… he may not be interested in having a long distance girlfriend who is never around.

Even though there’s only about forty feet separating our apartments, by the time I reach Roan’s door, I’m a nervous wreck.  An opportunity that felt like a gift from god just ten short minutes ago now feels like a mixed bag.  If I leave-

Oh my god… I’m not even one hundred percent certain I’m going to do this anymore.

The negatives just keep piling up and I can’t seem to look past them.

But if I don’t seize this opportunity now, it may never come around again.  Can I really live with that?  Feeling confused, I rap my fist on the door and wait.  I can’t stop from bouncing restlessly on the balls of my feet in the thinly carpeted hallway.  When the door finally swings open, it’s Sam.