Kingdom's Dream (19 page)

The old woman led the way along the passage to the back kitchen where a cheerful fire sent flames leaping up the chimney. ‘Sit down, girl.' Mrs Keen eased her bulk into a rocking chair. ‘What you here for? In trouble, is it?'

‘Yes, I'm in terrible trouble.' Shanni's voice cracked a little in fear. ‘I should have learned my lesson when my mam was dragged out and put on the wooden horse, and shamed by the neighbours.'

‘Aye, your mam was sorely punished for going to the bed of the wrong man. Surely you haven't been doing the same thing?'

Shanni bowed her head and swallowed. ‘My husband was away and I—'

Mrs Keen put up her hand. ‘I don't need to hear any more. I'm not doing my old trade, these days. Hasn't anyone told you?'

‘Oh, please, help me! Tell me what I can do to slip the baby before it's too late!'

‘You know what will happen to you, child?'

Shanni stared at the old woman fearfully.

‘You will suffer, girl. Slipping a baby is not to be taken lightly. Have you thought long and hard about it?'

Shanni nodded. ‘If I want to save my marriage I'll have to do it. Please, just tell me what I must take.'

‘Wait by here then, girl.' Mrs Keen shuffled through the passage and Shanni wished now she was anywhere but in Fennel Court, waiting for a medicine that might kill her as well as the baby she was carrying. The thought was like a sharp pain.

Mrs Keen returned and handed her a brown packet. ‘Here are some fern roots. I gathered them at midsummer.' Her eyes seemed to pierce Shanni's now. ‘These are particular ferns, see? They're very rare, my girl, and very dangerous, so you must not let anyone else tamper with them.'

Shanni felt the rustling packet with a sense of hope. If they worked all her wickedness would be hidden away and no one need know what she had done. She would make it up to Pedr, if she had to spend the rest of her life doing it.

‘You must bruise and boil the roots of the fern first, then add them to mead, or water and honey, and boil them up like a stew,' Mrs Keen said. ‘When the potion cools add some of the leaves to the mixture and drink it at once. Use it sparingly, girl, or you will do more harm than good. Do you understand?'

‘Thank you, Mrs Keen. I'm so grateful to you – you don't know what this means to me. What do I owe you?'

‘Call it a gift for the sake of your dead mother, and I hope you've learned your lesson, girl, for if you haven't now, you will by the time your ordeal is over, believe me.' She opened the door. ‘Go on, now, and don't tell anyone that Mrs Keen's been helping you, understand?'

Shanni left the house and walked along the court that had once been her home. Here, her mother had lain in great pain, and at the last had given birth to a dead child. Nothing could be worse than that, could it?

Briefly she considered throwing the packet away, but then she thought of Pedr, dear, trusting Pedr, and with a determined thrust she pushed it to the bottom of her bag.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Jayne looked at Dafydd across the length of the dining-table and smiled a secret smile.

‘So, you still haven't managed to buy shares in the railway, then?' She toyed with the idea of telling him about her own investment but he scarcely looked up from his paper.

‘I'll get some, don't worry,' he mumbled.

‘Oh, I'm not worried.'

‘Neither am I.' He looked at her then and put down his paper. ‘I usually get what I want in the end. Now, don't concern yourself with business matters, Jayne.'

He was being patronizing, treating her like a brainless idiot. She threw her napkin on to the table. ‘Don't talk down to me, Dafydd. I'm not a child.'

‘Oh dear, have I offended my lady wife?' He stood up and planted a kiss on her head. ‘I'd better be off if I'm to get any work done today. I hope you'll not be sulking when I get home.' He laughed, and Jayne could have slapped him.

‘Oh, you are infuriating!' she said, but he was already gone, closing the door behind him.

She got up and left the dining room, wondering what to do with her day. Life was monotonous, and she had expected more from her marriage. She had hoped that in Dafydd she would find a soul-mate but he always treated her like a beautiful but silly child. It was a pity she had no close friends, someone of her own age in whom she could confide. She wished she had not quarrelled with Llinos, who had always been a friend, ready with a comforting word.

She could go and see Llinos, make her peace . . . Jayne made up her mind to try, and rang for the maid. As soon as the girl came to the door she said, ‘Tell Norman to get the carriage ready – and fetch my good coat. It's cold outside and I don't want to get a chill.'

Later, as Jayne sat in the carriage watching the passing scenery she wondered how she would be received. She should begin by apologizing to Llinos and trying to repair their friendship. As it was, her only real friends were her papa and Father Martin, which did not say much for a woman of Jayne's standing. Llinos might be getting old but at least she was the daughter of a gentleman. She was also a good businesswoman, which Jayne admired.

Llinos was seated at her table in the drawing room, a sheaf of papers before her. Jayne stood inside the door, wondering what to say.

‘Is everything all right, Jayne?' Llinos got to her feet quickly. ‘It's not like you to arrive unannounced.'

‘I just came to apologize for my awful behaviour to you.' The words tumbled from Jayne's lips. ‘I'm sorry, Llinos, I've behaved like a child. May I sit down?'

‘Of course,' Llinos gestured to one of the chairs, ‘and don't apologize. I can understand how you feel.'

‘But all that happened before Dafydd married me,' Jayne said quickly, ‘and I'm truly sorry for what I did. I know you and Papa have always been such good friends and I was very wrong to try to shame you in front of his guests.'

‘You're young, Jayne, and intolerance is the privilege of the young. Please, think no more of it.'

Jayne was surprised at how humble she felt in the face of Llinos's generosity. Llinos was a lady – and a fine one at that.

‘Now we shall have some tea with a drop of brandy in it to keep out the chill,' Llinos said, and rang the bell for the maid. She continued, ‘It's so good to have the company of another woman. It's surprising how lonely it gets sometimes.'

‘That's exactly how I've been feeling,' Jayne said. ‘I haven't even one true friend of my own age.'

The maid brought in the tray and Llinos dismissed her. ‘I'll pour, thank you.'

Jayne studied Llinos. Old she might be, but she was still a beautiful woman, and she didn't seem to care a jot that she had lost her position in society.

‘Is everything all right with your father?' Llinos sounded anxious. ‘I haven't seen him for quite some time.'

‘He has a slight cold, but that's all.'

‘Is it you, then? Are you well?' It was obvious that Llinos was not going to mention Dafydd.

‘I'm very well, Llinos, and there is nothing wrong except perhaps . . .' Then words burst from her lips: ‘Dafydd sees me only as a pretty child. He doesn't even make love to me very often. Can't he see I'm a passionate woman?' She hadn't meant to talk about Dafydd or say anything about their private lives together. ‘I'm sorry, I shouldn't be disloyal.' She picked up her cup and looked into it as if she could take back her words.

‘He is probably being considerate, that's all,' Llinos said slowly. ‘I'm sure he loves you dearly.'

‘I suppose you're right, Llinos.' Jayne sighed. ‘But I do wish he'd let me show him I'm not brainless.'

‘Tell him your feelings, then,' Liinos said gently. ‘Men can be a little obtuse when it comes to their wives.'

‘Even Joe?' Jayne asked.

‘Even Joe, though he is special and I love him very much.' She looked at Jayne. ‘I do love him, you must believe me.'

‘I know. I've seen you together. What on earth possessed you to take up with Dafydd?' She was saying all the wrong things but Jayne knew they had to come out: they had been buried inside her for too long.

‘I don't really know the answer to that,' Llinos said. ‘But I do know that I never stopped loving Joe through it all. And, Jayne,' she stared directly into Jayne's face, ‘I would never ruin your marriage. I couldn't hurt you like that.'

Jayne felt comforted. She had underestimated Llinos, who was strong when she needed to be. She was not so sure, however, that Dafydd would resist the temptation to try to make love to Llinos if he had the opportunity.

‘How's business?' she asked, moving the conversation to safer ground. ‘I believe you have shares in the railway.'

Llinos nodded. ‘I thought I'd buy before all the shares went. Of course, the Great Western Railway Company owns the majority of the shares.'

‘I do know that,' Jayne said. ‘I'm a holder myself, but that's a secret I haven't shared with my husband.' She found a perverse satisfaction in claiming Dafydd as hers. ‘I'll tell him when the time is right.' She smiled. ‘He frets because he's missed the boat. You and I were wise enough to see what was happening in Swansea.'

‘Well, I'm impressed,' Llinos said. ‘I always knew you had a good head on your shoulders but I didn't know you were interested in railway shares.'

Jayne was no longer concentrating on the conversation, but staring into space. Eventually she said, ‘Can I ask you something?' She didn't wait for a reply. ‘I'm a little bit worried that I haven't caught for a baby yet. I've wanted one for some time but . . .'

‘That's quite usual,' Llinos assured her. ‘Nature will take its course, don't you worry.'

Jayne took a deep breath and changed the subject again. ‘When is Joe coming home from abroad?'

‘I don't know, Jayne, I wish I did.' She sipped her tea. ‘His last letter told me he was well and that Lloyd was settling down in America, but I feel my husband and son are so far away from me that they might never come home.'

‘They surely will!' Jayne said. ‘Joe couldn't live without you, and as for Lloyd, well, he's always been a devoted son.' She leaned forward and touched Llinos's hand. ‘Are we friends again?' She heard the wistful note in her voice but she was so lonely, so in need of a woman's company, that she did not care if her true feelings showed.

Llinos took her hand. ‘Of course we're friends. I'm always here if you need me, you can count on that.'

By the time Jayne left the house it was growing dark and as she waved from the carriage she felt ashamed of herself. How could she have been so unkind to Llinos, who was so generous? Jealousy was such a waste of energy. What had happened between Llinos and Dafydd was over and done with long ago. And yet Dafydd was in love with Llinos, would always be in love with her, and there was nothing Jayne could do to change that.

Katie walked along the high street, not seeing the crowds of cockle-women and fish-sellers as they brushed past her. She was going to see Bull and get the truth out of him.

It was raining, a cold steady drizzle that soaked into her clothes. She passed the Mackworth Hotel and stopped beside the scene of desolation that would soon be the railway station at Swansea. She had seen it many times before but today, somehow, it looked even bleaker than usual.

Huts straggled along the side of the track and smoke from many fires filled the air with an acrid smell, pouring from chimneys that were little more than a piece of metal thrust into a hole in the roof. She stopped at the doorway of one where a woman was sitting on a stool, stirring a boiling pot. ‘What do you want?' The woman was young but her eyes were shadowed, and the bulge beneath her skirt revealed the impending birth of her child.

‘I'm looking for Bull Beynon. Can you show me where he lives, please?'

The woman nodded. ‘Up along a few huts. Better than most, is Bull's place – you'll know it when you see it. What do you want him for?'

Katie was taken aback by the woman's open curiosity. ‘Just some business, nothing important.' She began to pick her way through the mud.
Nothing important,
the words echoed in her mind; just her whole future.

When she came to Bull's hut she saw what the woman had meant about it being better than most of the dwellings on the trackside. It was built of good, solid timber, and from its size it had more than one room.

The door was closed and Katie hesitated, wondering if she had the courage to face Bull and ask him for the truth. Well, she had come all this way in the rain and it would be foolish to give up now. She rapped loudly on the door, which was opened almost immediately.

‘If you're selling pegs I don't want any, right?'

The woman was dark and beautiful, her hair was neatly brushed and she wore decent clothes.

‘I've come to see Bull Beynon,' Katie said quickly. ‘It's important that I have a word with him.'

The woman looked her over from head to foot. ‘And what do you want with my man? Tell me that.'

‘It's my business.' Katie was beginning to feel angry. ‘Is he here or not?'

‘No, he is not.' The woman paused, folding her arms across her full breasts. ‘You're that Katie woman, aren't you?'

‘That's right. Has Bull told you about me, then?'

‘You'd better come in. I'm Rhiannon.' She stood aside and Katie stepped into a surprisingly comfortable room. Faded but clean curtains hung at the windows and the furniture, though sparse, was well polished. It was clear that Rhiannon kept her house as neat as was possible in the circumstances.