Kismet (31 page)
“Maybe we’re both angels,” he whispers, placing a soft kiss on my forehead and wrapping his arms around me, “sent here to save the other from themselves.”
Pondering what he’s said, I look up at him. “I can buy that.”
A few moments of silence fill the room with tension before he pinches my backside. “What?” I ask.
“You didn’t acknowledge what I said.”
“About what?” I tease.
“About you, marrying me.”
“What about it?” I joke, a slow laugh escaping my lips. It feels good to be happy and laugh again. Especially here with Parker.
He rolls his eyes, dropping his arms from me. “Forget I asked.”
“But you didn’t ask,” I tease.
“Well… yeah, I kinda did.”
“No,” I argue, “you wrote it. We use words ’round here.”
Catching my meaning, Parker drops to his knee in front of me, his hand holding mine like his life depends on it. His eyes locked on me. “So what do you say, kiddo? Not today, and probably not tomorrow, but someday soon, when you’re ready, will you marry this boy?”
All words leave me. He’s rendered me speechless.
“We use word ’round here, Katie. Remember?” he taunts.
“Yes, of course I’ll marry you, someday. Definitely not today, and certainly not tomorrow, but Parker Mackenzie, you can be sure that every day of the rest of my life is yours.”
I can’t drag myself out of bed today. To take some of the pressure off me, Parker got up hours ago and took care of my chores before his own. Last night was crazy, I cried more than I have in months. I blamed it on the hormones of the pregnancy but in all actuality coping with today is even more difficult than I imagined.
It’s Zoe’s birthday.
She would have been six and it kills me that she’s not here. I should have said something to someone, especially Parker but I couldn’t. I just need to work through this on my own. Hours pass while I lie there, looking at the ceiling and counting tiles even though I already know how many there are. I’m not sure what time it is exactly, but the sun from the day is starting to fade when the door opens a little bit and Parker sticks his head in.
“Katie…”
“Yeah,” I whisper. Sobs threaten from deep in my throat.
“Can I come in?” he asks, opening the door a little more. His eyes meet mine and I can tell that he’s pleading with me. I’m making him nervous and it kills me that I feel like this. I don’t want to be sad, but I am. Devastated doesn’t even begin to cover it and, deep down, I know I could never have prepared myself for today.
Needing to give him something, to do something to take away the pain in his eyes, I nod and he takes a step in, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He pauses for a few moments, looking down at the floor before he makes his way to the bed with me. He plops next to me, the mattress creaking under his weight. Just having him near helps, especially when he leans down and kisses me on the cheek.
“I hate it when you’re sad,” he whispers in my ear. “But just remember that you’re not alone. You’ve got us.” Taking his hands from his pockets, he reaches for my wrist and unties the bracelet that he gave me so many years ago. It feels strange not to have it on my wrist and I’m not really sure what he’s doing as he fiddles with it, but a few seconds later he’s tying it back on. “I got this for you, just for today.”
Taking his hands from my wrist he steps back and I lift my hand to my face to get a closer look. A tear rolls down my face as I see the new “Z” charm hanging next to the others.
“I know today is her birthday, and I thought you could use a little extra strength.”
“How did you—”
“I’m not stupid,” he interjects, “ and I notice things because you matter to me.”
No more words are necessary, and I sit up, slamming my body into his and wrapping my arms tightly around his neck. “I love you, Parker McKenzie. Every day.”
“Me too, kiddo. Me too.”
What feels like hours pass as we sit there, clinging onto each other like our lives depend on it when we hear Tommy call up the stairs. “Are you two coming down or what? I’m tired of waiting, Parker!”
Parker laughs as he lets me go. “What is he talking about?” I ask, fiddling with my bracelet.
“We’ve got something else for you,” he says as he stands and holds his hand out for mine.
I contemplate my choices for a moment. I can stay here and wallow in my sadness, or I can go and be with people that love me. After everything that has happened, I know I will still have bad days, days like today where I’ll want to withdraw back into the familiar loneliness, but I won’t, because Parker won’t let me. With a wry smile, I slide my hand into his and he leads me down the stairs.
Tommy stands there, his hand on his hip. “Took you long enough,” he scolds. “You said you’d be right down with her.”
Parker slaps him in the chest, telling him to cool it, but I actually appreciate the normalcy. “What do you guys have to show me?” I ask, hoping to release some of the tension between them. They just love to harass each other.
“Get your coat on,” Tommy demands. “We’re going in the barn.
It takes me a few minutes to get geared up to go outside, but Tommy and Parker wait patiently. The ground is icy and Parker holds my hand as we make our way to the barn through the snow that has been present since December. Tommy gestures for me to go ahead of him and once inside I immediately see what they’ve done. Propped up against the back wall, next to Onyx’s stall, is an enormous wooden sign. Astonished, I look back at Tommy and Parker who are looking quite smug and proud of themselves.
“Go check it out,” Parker urges.
I walk towards the back and fall to my knees in front of it admiring the handiwork. They have hand carved the lettering that forms the name I came up with for the farm, once we opened for therapeutic purposes. I run my fingers over the huge clock before reading it aloud. “
Camp Make It Count
. Is this what you two have been up to?”
Parker nods. “We wanted to do something special for you for today.”
I stand and make my way over to where they’re still standing, quickly giving each of them a hug. “I don’t know what I would do without you two.”
Tommy smiles. “Well we’d be pretty lost without you too, Katie. We’ve been there before and it’s not very much fun.”
“This is amazing,” I breathe. “Looks like we’ve got some serious planning to do.”
“Yeah, we do. We’ve got a meeting at the bank later this week.” I turn around at the sound of the new voice. I’m shocked, my mouth hanging open slightly when I see Stevenson standing in the door of the barn. “You didn’t think I’d miss out on this did you, Katie? This is a brilliant idea, and it’s something I want to be a part of.”
It’s amazing to think that my idea is something great, and hearing Stevenson say that he wants to be involved makes my heart happy. I run to him, throwing my arms around him. It’s probably something I shouldn’t do, considering that he is—or was—my doctor it probably violates some sort of doctor/patient code of conduct, but he is so much more than my doctor. He is now, and always will be, part of my family.
“I filled him in on your little idea,” Parker leads.
“And once he told me, I knew that I had to help someway. This is the start of something special, Katie. You’re going to make a difference in a lot of lives,” Stevenson finishes.
“So what are you going to do?” I ask.
“The good doctor is going to offer therapy sessions once a week,” Tommy says with a smile on his face.
Through glassy eyes, I look up at the man who has seen me through tough times and he nods letting me know it’s true. A tear rolls down my cheek, but they’re not tears of sadness this time. They’re tears because I finally know that I’m not alone and that so many people care about me.
Stevenson holds his arm out to me, gesturing for me to join him. “Shall we?” he asks.
Without a second thought, I link my arm with his and we head inside for the start of a session that Parker and Tommy scheduled for me. And just like that, on day that had started with so much darkness and hurt in my heart, there was light.
A few months have passed, and with each day life gets a little easier. Parker and I visit my family often, just to sit and be with Michael, Zoe, and the baby. In my head I imagine they’re smiling down on me, happy that I’ve found something, or someone, to make me whole again.
It’s early in the morning, my favorite time of the day, and the sun is just starting to dry the dew on the grass while I go about my new normal day-to-day business. As the pregnancy has progressed my doctor had urged me to take it easy and I have. I’ve been doing the bare minimum, and started to go out of my mind in the process, but in order for me to keep my sanity I do the same thing every morning—feed and water the horses while Parker cleans the stalls.
We’re completely in charge and it feels good. Tommy, Parker, and I are in the early stages of creating a therapeutic farm. A place for kids like me to come and get the help they need from the horses, and for the first time in a long while, I’m excited about what the future holds. I actually feel like I’m on the right path and that the future will be bright for me.
The day starts like it always does. Making my way through the farm, I feed the chickens, say good morning to the horses, freshen the hay. But I always end my morning with Onyx. She gets the royal treatment—day after day I give her a good rub down and some special treats. I make my way into her stall, my belly bumping hers as I make my way in.
“Sorry, girl,” I laugh. Once in the back I grab her brush and immediately get to work, losing track of time as I go. I notice Onyx start to shift back and forth, suddenly uneasy. “S’okay, girl,” I mutter as I rub her back with my free hand.
I go back to work but freeze when I hear the sound making her anxious. Carefully, I peek in front of her to see the beady eyes of a wild coyote, staring us both down. My heart jumps into my throat, knowing that my situation is precarious. I’m standing near Onyx’s hindquarters, looking straight into the coyote’s eyes. Onyx shifts again. I pat her side, “Easy there, Onyx. I got you.”
I know I need to make a move, but I’m not in the best situation and my options are limited. I have to close the door to her stable before it’s too late. I skirt out to the side slowly. It’s just a few steps to reach the door, but I freeze when I make eye contact with the little beast looking at us like we’re his next meal. When I was a child I remember Pop warning me and Tommy about wild animals. They never get close unless they’re sick. He lets out a low growl, his mouth covered in a white froth and I know he’s got rabies. No normal coyote would get this close to people no matter how hungry it was.
I’m able to take one step towards the door before he leaps at Onyx. She lets out a screech and starts trying to kick him as he runs around her little stall, nipping at her hooves. Not knowing what to do, I back into the corner, shielding myself in hopes to avoid her kicks, when I hear Parker screaming, “Katie! Katie!”
He rounds the corner and makes eye contact with me before taking in the situation. “Jesus Christ!” he yells. “Tommy get the .22!”
It all happens so fast. Onyx screams and kicks out at the coyote as it continues to torment her, and while it seems like forever for Tommy to grab the .22, in actuality mere seconds pass. I’m still hovering in the back corner, my adrenaline at its peak, when I hear the snap of the gun and I look just in time to see the coyote drop to the floor. Tommy sets the gun down and grabs Onyx by her reins, making soothing noises to calm her down. It doesn’t take long before she huffs, and he runs his hands over her head saying, “There, you’re okay, girl.”
Parker pushes past her toward the back of the stall, straight to me.
“Katie!” His voice is hoarse and I throw my arms around his neck thinking I had escaped unscathed. The second his skin touches mine, the adrenaline leaves my body and a familiar pain seers deep in my stomach. I wince and he pulls back from our embrace, his face falling and draining of all color. “Fuck. Tommy, go call an ambulance.”
I move my hand from his neck down between my legs and immediately feel the wetness. I don’t need to look to know, but I do anyway. Bringing my hand up I see the blood covering my skin and my heart sinks.