Kiss It Better (17 page)

‘Not since I was sixteen.’

‘Yeah. And the beach at home is nicer, I think. We could go to the cave in the swamp?’

By now, people were staring at them as they stood unmoving in front of a closed fish and chip shop. But Theo had other issues. ‘You have a cave in a swamp as a tourist attraction?’

‘No, the cave’s only for locals. We don’t want to disturb the woylie population with too many visitors.’

‘Woylie?’

‘Haven’t you heard — ’ She grabbed his hand and pulled him into a fast walk. ‘Mrs Harloop.’

‘Is that meant to meant something? Is she a woylie?’

‘She’s a nosey parker. But she doesn’t like the beach. Too much sand.’

Theo didn’t even try to make sense of that.

They walked across the grassed foreshore, skirting the skate park.

‘Woylies are a rare, endangered marsupial that were found in Big Swamp last year. I was in Africa, but everyone emailed me photos. They’re kind of like bilbies.’ She considered that. ‘Maybe not. Still, they’re cute.’ She paused at the edge of the dunes. ‘Mrs Harloop is gone.’

‘Let’s walk on the beach anyway.’

It was a good choice, being mostly empty. Only a couple of people walked along the high tide line, exercising.

Cassie slipped off her shoes and he did the same, abandoning them near the path. The soft, dry, white sand became harder packed where the waves foamed up the beach and around washed up shells and seaweed. It made for easier walking. He rolled up his jeans and walked on the sea-side of Cassie.

‘Watch out for jellyfish,’ she said.

It was a good excuse to look at his feet and not at her. ‘You know last night in the car?’ They were no longer holding hands, but he still sensed her tension.
Don’t panic, darlin’.
He wasn’t going to talk about sex or this morning’s near miss. ‘You said we should talk about you. Can we talk about me, now?’

‘Of course.’ She pushed her arm through his, a modified hug that squashed her breast against him. She sounded a bit surprised.

‘Men can talk about their feelings.’ He eased his own discomfort with teasing.

‘Actual words, or grunts and curses?’

He bumped her and they staggered ever so slightly.

She laughed. ‘Go on. Whatever you need to say, I’ll listen and I won’t judge. Feelings are allowed to be messy. Wait! Jellyfish.’ She stepped over the dead blob. ‘Okay.’

She’d struck the right tone to let him relax enough to share his thoughts.

‘I’m angry.’

No response, just the sounds of the sea.

‘I don’t know how to handle this anger. It’s not the lash out and hit things kind of anger or something I can burn off with exercise. It’s like a volcano of ice inside me and it keeps spewing more and more ice, pumping it through my veins so that when I think of phoning Mum or talking to Connor, my brother, I just…it’s like I’m choking on jagged ice.’

‘What’s at the heart of the volcano? What’s generating the anger?’

‘What Dad said. That I’m not his son.’ He jerked away, forgetting the sea was there and soaking his rolled up jeans. He swore.

Cassie watched him. ‘Are you angry at what Gordon said, or at how and why he said it?’

‘Both. And I hate wet jeans.’

‘It’s only the edges.’

But the jeans were a safe focus for his anger. He stomped up the beach and rolled them down. He felt ridiculous and hated the feeling. He’d always taken his emotional control for granted.

Cassie followed him.

He sat on the sand and looped his arms around his knees. ‘I’m angry because they let me believe I’m one person, but I’m really someone else.’ His parents, the whole Morrigan family — who damn them, had always known the truth. Thank you, Uncle Pat.

‘It’s like that with me and Africa.’ Cassie sat beside him. ‘I thought I was the dedicated nurse who’d save the world. Instead I couldn’t handle it. I have to cast aside one view of myself and find a truer vision.’ She scrunched her toes into the dry sand. ‘Actually, that’s not true. That you’re like me, I mean. Yours is the opposite. What you’ve learned shows that you’re stronger than you thought.’

‘Stronger?’

‘I bet some secret part of you always thought you had things easy because you were born a Morrigan.’

He stared at her, jaw slack.

She laughed. ‘It’s obvious, Theo. You said it yourself when we first met. You’re competitive. It must have irked you to think how much of what you’ve achieved had to be partly attributed to your family.’

‘Morrigan money did pay for my education, my house. I inherited…should I have?’

Did he mean morally? Cassie opted for answering the legal situation, which he probably already knew. It was common sense. ‘Absolutely. Your mum said your dad’s name is on your birth certificate. You’re his son, no matter what stupidity he uttered when he knew you were going to win the CEO position from him. And you said the Morrigans have always known that you weren’t theirs by blood. You’re theirs by love, and that’s the most important tie.’

A long, long silence. Cassie just sat there, letting him be. He was conscious of her beside him, concerned but making no demands. Giving him the space to release his tight hold on his emotions. He gazed out at the horizon. ‘Dad was stupid.’

For answer, she wriggled her feet deeper into the warm sand.

‘When Dad loses his temper, he says stupid things. I guess the wonder of it is that he didn’t tell me earlier that I wasn’t his kid. We argued when I was a teenager.’

The fact that he could easily say ‘Dad’ again reassured him. Some of the ice inside him, the anger and the fear of his loss of control, melted. ‘I should talk to them, but I need to know who I am in my head, so that they know who I am, too.’

A confused sentence, but Cassie nodded. ‘Will you stay as CEO of Brigid Care?’

And there was the heart of the question. Not whether he stayed in business or returned to being a doctor, but whether he believed he was a Morrigan and returned to the family. He knew — which was why he’d challenged his dad — that there was no one else in the family capable of filling the role. His cousin Neroli could in say ten years, but she was currently overseas, gaining experience in America.

If he walked away, he was abandoning the Morrigans. A family member had always led the business. The board wouldn’t consider anyone else.

If his dad stepped up, the stress would kill him. The reality was that if Gordon had been at the top of his game, he’d never have thrown the truth of his parentage at Theo as a weapon.

‘I love them,’ he said.

Cassie smiled. ‘That’s who you are. A family guy.’

‘Not a sex god?’

‘Sex gods don’t wear wet jeans,’ she said mock-seriously.

He pounced on her, pushing her flat to the sand and caging her in. It was a huge relief to stop discussing emotions. ‘Are you ticklish?’

Her brilliant blue eyes flared wide. ‘No.’

‘Liar.’

She squealed with laughter, writhed, kicked and slapped at his hands.

He flung himself back onto the sand before the innocent play turned to something unsuited to a public beach. ‘Thanks, Cassie.’

‘No problems. Will you — ’ She cut off the question and scrambled up. ‘Time for lunch.’

He could guess her questions: Will you phone your parents? Will you fly home? When are you leaving?

The problem was, he wanted to stay right where he was: with Cassie.

Cassie had thought lunch at the local café would be the most effective way of showing the world, or at least the Jardin Bay corner of the world, that she and Theo were on the best of terms, notwithstanding Leighton’s lies in the media and his imminent arrest — something she didn’t want to think about. The café was gossip central, so it shouldn’t be hard to get the word out. The weekend crowd would have it bursting at the seams.

Unfortunately, she succeeded beyond all expectations. Instead of a quiet lunch with Theo, their table kept expanding as people joined them or leaned in from neighbouring tables to eavesdrop. She wondered how he was taking it — but forget the scene on the beach — he was still Mr Cool.

He grinned at her raised eyebrow. ‘They love you, Cassie, and like family, they’ll stick their noses in.’

‘Long noses,’ she grumbled.

Around the table, people laughed and teased her, demonstrating the truth of Theo’s observation.

She appreciated the love. Of course she did. But there was an uncomfortable, life-changing realisation stirring just under her conscious mind and she didn’t like it at all. Hadn’t she enough problems without doing something stupid like —

‘Are you staying long?’ someone asked Theo.

Cassie focussed.

‘Not this time. The trip was unplanned and I’m needed in Melbourne.’

And wasn’t that the truth? She froze, waiting for when he would say he planned to leave

‘I’m driving back to Perth tomorrow and flying out.’

They had tonight.

And there was the realisation she’d been fighting. She’d known on the beach and in the kitchen defending Theo to Aunt Gabby. She’d known as she sat in the sun outside the police station waiting for him. What she felt for Theo wasn’t casual.

Their eyes met across the table.

She looked away, aware that too many people were watching. ‘I need to get a few things from the supermarket.’ She’d thrown out milk and other perishables when she flew to Melbourne — was it only two days ago? They needed replacing. ‘I’ll see you back at the house.’

She kissed family and friends, and got hugs from a few, along with whispered comments that Theo seemed like a good bloke and not to worry about Leighton and that they’d take care of Aunt Gabby. She loved her town.

Although leaving Theo surrounded by their overwhelming curiosity and protectiveness — maybe that was cruel.

***

Theo watched Cassie flee the café. It was a slow flight, hampered by people’s kindness and concern, but nonetheless she was running.

He could have left for Melbourne, today. Down at the beach everything had shifted, reformed and settled into a pattern that he could live with. But how much of that pattern involved Cassie, he wasn’t sure.

She felt it, though. A sense of connection. It was there when they looked at each other across the table, and then she ran.

On the other hand, he glanced around at the busy café filled with interested people. She had a point. Whatever was between them, whether they chose to explore it or not, it was private.

He stood. ‘If you’ll excuse me.’

People grinned. They thought he was hurrying back to Cassie.

He was, and then again he wasn’t. While she shopped he had to phone his mum and dad. He’d return to Melbourne tomorrow, but reassuring them and re-cementing family bonds couldn’t wait another day. Besides which, a phone call might be easier on all of them for this first discussion.

The deck at the front of Cassie’s home, facing the Indian Ocean, was as good as and better than many places for the talk. He sat on a comfortable wicker chair and propped his feet on the railing. Then he dialled the number of the family home.

His mum cried. His feet came down and he leaned forward, earnest and wanting to comfort her. ‘Mum, it’s okay. I love you.’

She cried harder.

His dad took the phone. ‘Son?’

‘Hi, Dad.’

Gordon’s sigh echoed. ‘I am sorry.’

‘I know.’

‘You’re my son. I was there when you were born. I’ve loved you every day of your life.’

‘Dad.’

‘No, let me say it. I love you. I couldn’t be prouder of you. I’ll regret to my dying day that I ever made you doubt it.’

‘Forget it.’

His dad breathed in heavily, controlling his emotion.

In front of Theo, the view seemed a little wavery. But he was not crying. ‘I’ll be back tomorrow.’

‘You’re still CEO of Brigid Care,’ Gordon said. ‘Uncle Pat and the whole board refused to accept your resignation. You will stay, won’t you?’

‘Yes.’

‘Good.’ A pause. ‘They gave me a hard time.’

‘You deserved it,’ Theo’s mum said faintly.

‘Your mum wants a word.’ Gordon handed over the phone and in the background, blew his nose honkingly.

‘Are you coming home?’ she asked.

‘Tomorrow.’

‘We’ll talk then. I have photos of Dave…did Cassie tell you?’

‘Yes.’ It felt strange to discuss a stranger, his biological father, with his dad listening.

‘Dave was a good man. Kind. Quiet. He’d be proud of you. He sang like a fallen angel.’

Theo blinked. That was a bit poetic from his practical mum.

‘I was always a bit regretful that you didn’t inherit his voice.’

‘Can’t carry a tune in a bucket. Like me.’ His dad.

Theo smiled. ‘Never mind, Mum. I’ll see you, tomorrow.’

‘Both of us.’

‘Yes.’

‘And bring Cassie.’

Theo stared at the phone. ‘Why?’

‘I like her.’

‘Mum.’

‘Aunt Celeste likes her too.’

He rolled his eyes. ‘Aunt Celeste is an interfering witch.’ One who thought she was a matchmaker. The good thing was that if his mum was scheming about this, then she really was feeling okay. ‘I’ll ask Cassie if she wants to fly to Melbourne for the second time in a couple of days.’

‘We’ll go shopping. Cassie said she wanted to shop.’

Speaking of Cassie, he heard her arrive and the kitchen door bang. ‘I’ll ask her. I’ve got to go, Mum.’

‘All right. Love you, baby.’

‘Love you, too. And Dad. ‘Bye.’

It felt good, really good, to reconnect to his family. He walked through the house and found Cassie in the kitchen, putting things away. ‘We’re a lot alike.’

‘Are we?’ She glanced at him.

‘Family’s important to us.’

She focussed on the phone in his hand, and smiled huge. ‘You phoned your mum.’

‘I spoke to her and Dad. We’re okay.’

‘Theo, I’m so pleased.’ She approached him hurriedly, before rocking to a halt a step away.

‘Don’t I get a hug?’ He put the phone on the bench, leaving both hands free.

‘I…’

‘Mum wants to see you again. I promised to ask you to come with me to Melbourne.’

Her beautiful blue eyes widened.

He pulled her into a loose hug. ‘You can say no. Mum likes you, but I think she and Aunt Celeste are matchmaking.’