Authors: Rachel Vail

Kiss Me Again (23 page)

BOOK: Kiss Me Again

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“What?”

“Come outside with me.”

The shiver was starting again deep inside me despite the lingering warmth from the day, as I walked out the back door holding Kevin’s hand. Down the hill we went, our bare feet squishing in the cool, damp grass. When had it rained? While we were inside the hospital? I couldn’t even remember what day it was.

He stopped at the hammock, dropped my hand, and gripped the side of the swaying thing with both his fists. “Get in.”

“No way,” I said.

“Way,” he answered. “Don’t be scared.”

“I’m not scared,” I said. “I think we have determined for all time who panics and who doesn’t in this family.”

We froze. It hung there between us.
In this family.

Damn.

I took a big, greedy gulp of the sweet night air, closed my eyes, and then sat my butt down on the hammock. It swished away from where I’d been, lifting my feet off the ground, swinging me away from Kevin and then back. I may have screamed a tiny bit.

Next thing I knew, I was lying down in the cocoon of it, with Kevin lying beside me. We were rocking from side to side. I closed my eyes to keep from vomiting.

When the rocking settled, I realized Kevin was holding my hand again.

I didn’t turn my face toward his, because a truth was blaring in my head, a truth I was not particularly excited about but that I really couldn’t ignore anymore.

“Kevin,” I whispered. “You know we can’t do this.”

Instead of shushing me this time, he whispered back, “I know.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to …”

“I know,” he said. “Me too.”

We lay there for a while, not talking, just okay together, his fingers and mine interlaced.

“Kevin …” I opened one eye and looked up at the sky with its gaudy array of twinkling stars.

“I didn’t hook up with Felicity, by the way.”

“That’s not what—” I started, though I was, honestly, happy he had confirmed that.

“No, I’m with you, Chuck. We can’t be, like, a going-out-in-ninth-grade-for-a-few-weeks-until-we-piss-each-other-off-and-break-up couple.”

“Right.”

“We’re more than that, and different.”

“And forever,” I added, opening both eyes now.

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s a concept, huh? Forever?”

We didn’t move, except, microscopically, our fingers.

“How are we gonna … ?” I whispered.

“Easy,” he said, not sounding entirely convinced.

“Yeah?”

He reached his outside arm up and stuck his hand under his head. “We just stay like this, a little bit in love, no more.”

“A little bit …”

“Or, you know, in a cool space, whatever.”

“But just a little. One inch. One ounce. No more.”

“Charlie!”

“No, I totally agree.”

“You will have to wear big, ugly sweaters all year to hide your back, though.”

I laughed. “Only if you don’t do that slow-smiling thing.”

“What slow-smiling …”

“Just, don’t smile at me. And definitely don’t touch my hair.”

“I’ll try,” he said. “You have this bit that falls over your face sometimes, though, and …”

“Off-limits, bucko.”

“Okay, and …”

I laughed a little. “Yeah? And what else?”

“And, we deal.”

I nodded. I didn’t feel like crying, or jumping out of my skin, or chattering, or making dumb jokes, or even mashing my face against his. It felt okay to just be there together, hanging out, dealing. More than friends, but not in the less-than-friends way
more-than-friends
had meant before. Really more. “We deal,” I agreed.

“We’re a good team,” he said. “We just—we put some stuff aside, and …”

“And keep rowing,” I said.

“Yeah. Exactly.”

Neither of us said anything for a while. It wasn’t even awkward.

“Think we can manage?” he finally asked.

“I know we can.” I took a deep breath in. “But I should warn you, in all fairness—every once in a while, you’ll probably think of me when you smell the honeysuckle.”

“Always,” he said.

And then we just lay there together, holding hands and watching the murky universe spin around us for a while.

Acknowledgments

The first fifty to sixty drafts of a book are the hardest for me to write. For their wise guidance and enthusiastic embrace of what this story needed to be through draft after draft, I am deeply indebted to Rachel Abrams as well as Elise Howard and Toni Markiet. Amy Berkower, my extraordinary agent, is not just my business partner but also my friend and pathfinder. I’m so lucky to have her in my corner. My friends sit with me around campfires both real and metaphorical, sharing stories and laughter, for which I am forever grateful. Here in this book that asks
what is a family
and
how do we love one another
, I must acknowledge how blessed I feel to be a part of my “big” extraordinarily loving family of parents, in-laws, siblings, and cousins. To my “little” family, full of inside jokes shared with you three good men who are my home and my heart: I love you beyond measure. Finally, to my readers: Thank you for asking for more from these characters and for embracing them—your passion kept them alive and brought them back. Their journey was charted by me, but powered by you.

About the Author

RACHEL VAIL
is the award-winning author of the critically acclaimed novels
IF WE KISS
and
LUCKY
,
GORGEOUS
, and
BRILLIANT
(the Avery sisters trilogy) and more than a dozen other novels for young teens, including the Friendship Ring series. Rachel has also written many beloved picture books, including
PIGGY BUNNY
and
SOMETIMES
I’M BOMBALOO
, and two hit novels for elementary school kids,
JUSTIN CASE: SCHOOL, DROOL, AND OTHER DAILY DISASTERS
and
JUSTIN CASE: SHELLS, SMELLS, AND THE HORRIBLE FLIP-FLOPS OF DOOM
. Rachel lives in New York City with her husband and their two sons. You can visit her online at www.rachelvail.com.

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Other Works

novels by

RACHEL VAIL:

The Avery sisters trilogy

LUCKY

GORGEOUS

BRILLIANT

NEVER MIND!

IF WE KISS

YOU, MAYBE:

The Profound Asymmetry of Love in High School

JUSTIN CASE:

SCHOOL, DROOL, AND OTHER DAILY DISASTERS

JUSTIN CASE:

SHELLS, SMELLS, AND THE HORRIBLE FLIP-FLOPS OF DOOM

Credits

Author photograph: Mitchell Spencer Vail Elkind

Cover design by Alison Klapthor

Copyright

HarperTeen is an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers.

Kiss Me Again
Copyright © 2013 by Rachel Vail

All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Vail, Rachel.

Kiss me again / Rachel Vail. — 1st ed.

p. cm.

Summary: Having once shared a kiss with her best friend’s boyfriend, Kevin, fourteen-year-old Charlie finds life even more awkward when their parents marry, making Kevin, still her crush, now her stepbrother.

ISBN 978-0-06-194717-9 (hardcover)

EPub Edition © NOVEMBER 2012 ISBN: 9780062202888

[1. Stepfamilies—Fiction. 2. Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. 3. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 4. Remarriage—Fiction. 5. High schools—Fiction. 6. Schools—Fiction.] I. Title.