Kiss Me Kate (The English Brothers Book 6) (22 page)

He had won Kate, yes.

Now it was time to deserve her.

***

Kate had to admit… Étienne’s note bothered her. Waking up without him, she’d assumed he was in the bathroom or had run back to his room to shower. The note, which she finally found on the bedside table read:

Dear Kate,

Jax texted me to say she changed my flight and I didn’t want to wake you, love. I will see you back in Philly this afternoon. You are my dream come true, chaton.

Your,

Étienne

It was sweet and loving and yet, Kate didn’t like being left behind. She wished she’d had a chance to kiss him goodbye, to touch his face and look into his eyes and reassure herself that this time wasn’t like last time.

It was almost absurd to contemplate after the past twenty-four hours, but what if she arrived in Philadelphia, and he was cool or awkward? What if he regretted the rashness of his passionate words and decided that his freedom—especially after his painful relationship with Amy—was more important that any revived connection between them? She read the note over and over again, trying to calm herself, but she was anxious as she packed her bag, the room littered with evidence of their affair: beignet sugar, the wine bottle and glasses, the musky smell of their bodies colliding, only made her more worried, somehow. They’d loved one another last night, just as before, but when real life greeted them back at home, would they be able to finally segue into a normal relationship?

Kate wanted so badly to believe she and Étienne were finally receiving the second chance they so desperately deserved, and yet the fact of their first separation, and the emotional landmines it left behind, made her suspicious. He claimed to still love her, a fact she wanted to believe with every fiber of her being, but didn’t entirely.

That fact that she still loved him—and always would—had been such a carefully guarded secret, protected in the deepest recesses of her heart, it was difficult for her to give words to the feeling even now. Even now when he was, theoretically at least, standing before her and asking to give them a second chance.

How to break down the final walls of fear?
By loving him quietly
, her heart reasoned,
until you trust completely that he’s yours and that he’ll never hurt you again.

And by calling Lib
, she thought,
to talk some common sense into you.

Knowing she had fifteen minutes before calling a cab to take her to the airport, she sat down on the bed where she and Étienne had renewed their love affair and dialed her best friend.

“KK?”

“Lib.” She sighed.

“Oh, wow,” said Libitz. “Let me get Duane to take over here and go into my office for a few minutes.”

Kate smiled. It was creepy and a half how Lib could tell Kate’s moods from a sigh.

A moment later she came back on the line. “So! You opted for restarting the conversation with Étienne Rousseau.”

“You could say that,” Kate said weakly.

“Or I could also say you’ve been boning him all night in New Orleans.”

“Lib!”

“I’m not wrong, am I?”

Kate rubbed her forehead. “You’re not wrong.”

“Yay!” yelled Lib. “Kate got laid!”

“Seriously?”

“Well, kitten,” she said slyly, in a reference to Étienne’s nickname for Kate. “How long had it been?”

Kate cringed. “Over a year.”

“I rest my case.” Lib paused, and her voice was gentle and wistful when she asked, “How was it?”

“Fantastic.”

“Good, good. And reassurances?”

“Oh, I don’t know. He said he wanted to be exclusive and date for a while, see what happens.”

“Well, that sounds promising. Not like a one-night stand, and believe me, I have a wide breadth of knowledge when it comes to one-night stands.”

Kate chuckled and shook her head. “You ever want more than that, Lib?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “Someday. When I meet a guy who isn’t a total jackass and still wants me to stick around. How about you? You want Étienne to stick around?”

“He says he still loves me.”

“Whoa,” said Lib. “Well, that’s…that’s serious.”

“Yeah.”

“Forgive me, but I would think you’d be screaming it from the hilltops, Kate. You’ve been stuck on this guy since forever.”

“I want to believe it, but two weeks ago? He was a memory. A
bad
memory, Lib. Now he’s back in my life, and I slept with him, and he wants us to date…”

“And the problem is?”

“I don’t know if I trust him.”

“From the moment I picked up the phone, I knew you’d hashed things out with him. I don’t need to know what exactly happened between you two, but I am assuming that he wasn’t the black-hearted asshole we always thought he was.”

“Not at all. We were both…betrayed.”

“Sounds heavy.”

“It’s a mess. Alex and Stratton. My father. His mother. Neither of us realized it at the time, but everyone who loved us was trying to keep us apart.”

“That sucks. But you know what’s interesting?” asked Lib. “You found each other anyway.”

“We did, didn’t we?”

“Not everyone gets a second chance. Don’t blow it, huh?”

Kate sighed. “I won’t. I’ll try to…trust in it, have faith, not be scared…all that good stuff. My cousins are going to have conniptions when they find out.”

“So? Let them have conniptions. They’re not the ones boning the hot Frenchman. And as far as I can tell, it’s really none of their business whose tongue is welcome in your mouth. You want Étienne in your life?”

“I do.”

“Well then, Sheriff Kate, it sounds like you’re going to need to kick a little English ass.”

***

Touching down in Philadelphia a little before eleven o’clock in the morning, Étienne turned on his phone and noticing that the battery was almost dead, he didn’t waste a moment in sending a quick message to Barrett English:

Back in Philly. Need to speak with you and your brothers, including Alex, ASAP. Please arrange. Will come to you at 3pm.

Satisfied with the message and not giving a rat’s ass if Barrett was annoyed by the commanding nature of the request, he sent it then dialed the number of Chateau Nouvelle. For most of the trip, Étienne had had a chance to review his mother’s decision to keep Kate’s letters from him, and his anger had gone from a boil to a simmer. If he wanted answers, the best way to deal with his mother was directly and in person.

“Bonjour?”

“Mére? C’est Étienne.”

“Mon fils! Quelle belle surprise!”

“Bon Jour. Je ai besoin de parler avec vous.”
I need to speak with you.

“Aujourd'hui?”
Today?

“Oui. Maintenant.
Right now. I’ll come to you.”

“Is everything all right? What is this about, Étienne?”

“I’ll see you in an hour, mother.”

The cab stopped in front of Chateau Nouvelle and Étienne got out of the car haltingly, leaning on his cane more than usual. Between non-stop sex with Kate, a short walk in the French Quarter last night, and navigating two airports this morning, his leg was throbbing in protest.

“Étienne!” exclaimed his mother, opening the double doors of the large Mediterranean-style mansion and welcoming him home with a kiss on each cheek before dropping her eyes to his leg. “My poor darling.”

Lilliane Rousseau had been a celebrated ballerina before marrying Étienne’s father almost thirty-five years ago, and her body still maintained the spare, elegant lines of a dancer. Dressed in a smart Chanel suit and smelling of Number Nine, it was also a good bet that she was headed out for lunch.

“
Bon Jour, mére
,” he said softly, allowing her to hold his cheeks without protest. Whatever she had lacked in parenting she’d made up for with a cheerful theatrical twinkle that all of her children adored, and when she turned on the charisma, it was almost impossible to be angry with her.

Finally dropping her hands, she stepped back from her son, closing the door then turning to face him.

“I am so sorry, darling, but I have a luncheon at the club in…” She twisted her wrist and glanced at her diamond and platinum Tiffany watch, “…twenty minutes. Can we visit quickly?”

Par for the course. His parents had never really wanted to be “troubled” by their children. They loved Étienne and his siblings in their own way…as long as their children didn’t disrupt their lives too much.

“Of course,” said Étienne, following her into a small parlor to the right of a massive staircase. He sat down in his father’s favorite leather chair that smelled of cigar smoke and Dior
Eau Sauvage
.

Lilliane sat across from him, balanced on the edge of a needlepoint wingback chair like a bird, her perfectly made-up face inquisitive, with a polite, polished smile tilting up her pink lips.

“Mother,” he started, clearing his throat, “when I was fifteen, right around the time you sent me away to school, I may have received some letters.”

His mother blinked at him, her smile fading just a touch as she smoothed her skirt with expertly manicured fingers. “I don’t know what—”

“I know that you received them. I know why you kept them from me. Because they were from Kate English.”

When his mother lifted her eyes, they were stony and narrow. “That family had already taken enough from ours.”

“Kate wasn’t trying to take anything. I’d already given her my heart.”

His mother’s lips parted in surprise as she stared at him, clearly moved by his quiet declaration. “But her last name—”

“Was English,” said Étienne. “Like her cousin, with whom I fought.”

Lilliane nodded, like she was seeing pieces of a long-forgotten puzzle come together. “You fought over
her
.”

“In a manner of speaking.”

His mother sighed, sitting back in the chair and shrugging, but her face looked conflicted with guilt. “I thought I was doing what was best for you. We’d given you a fresh start. Hearing from that English girl could have interfered.”

“Like I said,” he told her, her voice tight with control, “I understand why you did it.”

“Then why are you here?” she demanded, waving a hand in the air with irritation. “To tell me what a bad mother I was?”

Étienne shook his head. “No. To ask if you still have them.”

“All these years…and you think I kept them?”

“I don’t know. But if you still have them, they’re mine, and I want them back.”

Lilliane took a deep breath and stood up, walking across the room to a small desk in the corner where she sometimes handled her correspondence. Turning a key in the lower drawer of the desk, Étienne listened to squeaking sound of it opening. When his mother turned around, she had a crisp, new-looking manila envelope in her hand.

“I don’t know why I kept them,” she said, crossing the room and offering the gold envelope to her son. Étienne’s breath, which he’d been holding, released in a rush as he reached for the envelope, unfastening the clip on the outside to find thirty unopened letters neatly filed inside.

When he looked up at her, his mother’s eyes were glistening.

“She meant a lot to you?”

“
Means
a lot to me,” said Étienne, refastening the envelope and standing up. “I love her.”

With his cane in one hand and the envelope in the other, he turned toward the entrance of the room, walking back to the front door. His mother took his elbow, walking slowly beside him.

“I know I wasn’t the best mother,” said Lilliane. “But when your father collected you and drove you back from New York that night, I recognized the wild look in your eyes. The misery. I knew that whomever you had gone to see meant a great deal to your heart. I hoped that you would forget her, since she was part of
that
family, but I couldn’t bring myself to throw away her letters.”

Étienne swallowed past the lump in his throat and turned to face her as they reached the front door. “Thank you for keeping them.
Merci, mére
.”

In an instant, Lilliane brightened, fixing on her face the same polished, polite smile that she’d perfected over the course of her life. “Of course, darling. Anything for you.” Pressing her cheeks to his, she chuckled lightly in the doting way of a good mother. “
Au revoir
, darling.”

“Goodbye, mother,” said Étienne, stepping out into the sunshine as the door closed behind him.

***

As Kate waited in the boarding area at the New Orleans airport, she still felt troubled about Étienne’s abrupt departure, and it didn’t help that the two texts she’d sent to him had gone unanswered. They were only a sentence each—one about missing him when she woke up and the other asking if he wanted to have dinner when she got back to Philly that evening—and as each moment ticked by without a response, she felt more anxious and more like a fool.

He seemed so sincere, but his words from so long ago rang clear in her head. “
I don’t have girlfriends. I have flings.
” And even though they’d been said by a cocky fifteen-year-old trying to impress her, she couldn’t keep herself from wondering if she had been a fling too. Her stomach flipped over and her heart clenched at the notion, but once the idea had taken root, she couldn’t help the way it spiraled, the way it taunted her and made her second-guess her decision to allow Étienne back into her life.

By the time the Business Class cabin was welcomed to board, she was a wreck, and that was precisely the moment her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“
Chaton
.”

“Étienne.” She sighed with relief. “Why’d you leave?”

“There were some things I needed to do on my own.”

“Like what?”

“Do you trust me?”

“I-I want to,” she said, trying to shove aside her misgivings.

“Meet me at English & Company at three o’clock.”

“At English & Com—”

“I’ve asked for your cousins to meet us. We’re going to talk to them together.”

The gate agent made another announcement about Kate’s flight and she took her place on line for boarding.

“It’s
my
fight,” she insisted. “Not yours. They’re not going to take me seriously if we show up together.”

“You’re wrong. It’s not your fight. It’s
our
fight. And they will take you seriously. I’ll make sure of it.”

Kate bristled.

He didn’t understand. She was sick of everyone protecting her. First her parents, then her cousins, now Étienne? As much as she loved them all, she wanted to stand on her own two feet, and Étienne was undermining that goal.

“I’m an adult and they’re
my
cousins.”

“And they had me expelled from school and cut out of your life.”

“You don’t get it…” she said, handing the gate agent her ticket and lowering her voice as she walked down the jet way. “I need to do this alone.”

“No, Kate,” he said gently. “You need to be
heard
. You don’t need to do it alone. Because you’re
not
alone.”

“Yes, I am—”

“No,” he said firmly. “You’ve been alone for a long time, and gotten used to it. The odd cousin out. The only girl who needed to be protected. Well, I’m not trying to protect you,
chaton
. I
want
you to say your peace. But I’m going to be standing right beside you when you do because there are a few things I need to make clear, too.”

Taking her seat, she nodded at the flight attendant who indicated that Kate needed to put her phone away. “I have to go.”

“Think about what I said, Kate. If we want this to work—you and me together—we need to
be
together in their eyes, from the very beginning.”

“I’ll see you later,” she said softly, feeling deeply conflicted.

“Trust me,” he answered, before hanging up.

Kate turned off her phone and tucked it into her bag, accepting a bottle of water from the flight attendant and looking out the window with a pounding head.

Trust Étienne Rousseau.
Therein lay the problem. Despite her love for him, for many long years Kate had convinced herself that Étienne was the last person on earth whom she could ever trust. Étienne stood for pain and longing, for rejection and heartbreak. And now, in the course of a few days, she had discovered his constancy, his blamelessness and his love for her. It was hard for Kate to rewire twelve years of instincts where Étienne was concerned, but as the plane left the runway, she heard his words in her head again.

You need to be
heard.
You don’t need to do it alone. Because you’re
not
alone.

Then she leaned her head against the window and closed her eyes, willing her mind and heart to accept the truth of his love and find the courage to return it without fear.

***

As soon as Kate walked into the lobby of the building where English & Company was headquartered, Étienne read the apprehension on her face. Selfishly, part of him didn’t care because he was just so damn glad to see her, which must have registered on
his
face, because hers answered the feeling almost immediately, breaking into a lovely, relieved smile, and walking straight into his arms.

“It’s ridiculous that I missed you so much.” She sighed, her breath warm on the skin of his neck.

“I know exactly how you feel,” he murmured into her ear, aware that their passionate embrace was attracting attention and not caring. “Where are we staying tonight? Your place or mine?”

She chuckled lightly. “Mine, I guess. I have to get home to the trio.”

“After this I’ll run home for a few things then come straight to you. Deal?”

“Deal.”

“You ready for this?” He leaned back from her, searching her eyes and finding them worried, but determined.

Kate’s mouth narrowed into a grim line. “Yes. I didn’t like it at first…you coming with me. Something about it felt weak, but I thought about what you said. I’m not alone. I want you in my life, as you should have been all along. I want them to have to acknowledge that we’re a package deal, whether they like it or not.”

He smiled, lacing his fingers through hers and using his cane to help guide them to the elevator.

“My guess is not,” he said, as she pressed the Up button.

“Too bad,” she said curtly.

He looked to the side, at the stony profile of her beautiful face. Kate was going into this meeting with guns loaded.

“
Chaton
,” he said gently as they stepped onto the elevator. “Remember that they love you.”

Her shoulders relaxed a little and she squeezed his hand, nodding, but she didn’t turn to look at him, the muscles of her face still tense.

Well, he thought, looking straight ahead as the elevator conveyed them higher and higher, she had a right to her anger. They’d been cheated from years they could have spent knowing and loving each other, as he detoured through the shitshow that was Amy, and Kate endured sharp moments of loneliness and self-deprecation. They deserved some answers. But mostly, they deserved peace.

Without dropping Étienne’s hand, but accommodating his awkward stride by slowing her own, Kate opened the doors to English & Company, nodding at the receptionist before turning down the hallway toward the conference room.

***

As they walked by the floor to ceiling windows, Kate caught sight of her uncle, Barrett, Fitz, Stratton, and Weston all seated at the conference table, and as she entered the room, her eyes lifted to find Alex’s face on the TV screen. She stood just inside the door of the room, clasping Étienne’s hand, and looked each one of them in the eye, starting with her uncle and ending with Alex.