Kisses in the Rain (27 page)

"Because?" Nick asked, his pencil poised over a column of figures.

"My paycheck wasn't direct-deposited in my bank account this week. This is the second time it's been late."

"Have you tried to find out what's holding it up?"

A frown creased Martha's forehead. "I called Sidney's office in San Francisco both times, several times in one day, and his assistant always says that Sidney is out of the office. Of course, he can't call me here at the lodge, but still..."

"You think he's giving you the runaround?"

"Maybe. But his deposit arrived four days late last time. Let's see what happens this time."

"If you don't get it, what are you going to do?"

Martha smiled. "I guess I'll just bake more cookies," she said.

During this time, Davey continued to progress. He had days when he talked more than other days. He still played with Bear, and the little sea otter remained a treasured member of the household.

"What will we do when it's time to send Bear away?" worried Nick. "I'm planning to release him at the end of August."

"Davey needs another pet, Nick."

"How about a puppy?"

"We could use the puppy to wean Davey away from Bear," Martha said, and accordingly she and Nick began to speak of the time when Bear would go, which would be soon after Davey got his new puppy.

"A puppy? I'm going to have a puppy?"

"The best puppy I can find," Nick told him as Davey clambered into his lap.

"After Bear goes," Martha added for good measure.

All Davey could talk about after that was what it would be like when he got his new puppy. He told everyone—the other kids at Wanda's, and Hallie, and even Nick's assistant at the cannery—that he was going to get a new puppy.

"This puppy is the second-best thing that ever happened to Davey, and we haven't even got him yet," Nick said one day when he and Martha thought they had heard enough about the new puppy to last them a lifetime.

"What's the
first-
best thing that ever happened to Davey?" Martha asked.

"You," Nick said unhesitatingly as he pulled her to him and kissed her. "He didn't begin to talk until after he knew you." He didn't know how to express to her how much he admired and respected her for her kindness to Davey.

"You're forgetting Dr. Whitmer's influence. And Bear's," Martha murmured against Nick's chest.

"No, I'm not," insisted Nick. "They don't have the particular gift you have of giving of yourself." Martha, whose lips were seeking his by this time, didn't reply. It was Nick to whom she wanted to give of herself at that point, and in the way that they knew best.

One night after Nick had fallen asleep, she couldn't stop herself from thinking how wonderful it would be to be married to Nick. It would be fun to wake up to his smile, to open her arms to Davey when he and the puppy—the new puppy that Davey didn't have yet—romped into the bedroom in the morning. She slid close to him, deliberately snaking her smooth leg up his to wake him.

"Mar—" he said, fuzzily and incompletely, and she maneuvered herself so that her legs wound around his. He rolled over on top of her and she snuggled her face into the curve under his chin. She found a fold of skin to nibble. By this time Nick was alerted to the fact that Martha wasn't sleepy, and he sank his face in her hair and whispered, "I've always considered myself fortunate that you're a creature of impulse," before moving his lips in a circuitous route that led him to mouth and other exciting places.

Martha let her fingers drift over the rugged jaw line, rough now with unshaved stubble, past his temple into his bronze-brown hair. Her hands cupped the shape of his head, floated downward to his sinewy shoulders, grazed the taut muscles of his back. She trembled beneath him, and he felt her tremble, and it was as though the earth moved.

Which could be what was happening, considering Alaska's inclination toward earthquakes.

"I think I felt an earthquake," he said, only partly joking, but Martha shifted beneath him and whispered, "No earthquake. No world. You make it all go away," and then he laughed deep down in his throat and said, "We've done away with the world. Let's get rid of the universe, too," and she said, "The whole galaxy," and then he knew he had better get serious about it.

Afterward, when they lay spent, when she could speak, she said, "I love you Nick," and he felt her smile against his chest.

"Ah, Martha, I suppose that two people in love always think they're the only ones who ever felt so magnificent together. But the two of us are more than magnificent. When we make love, there are no words to describe how I feel." He traced her collarbone with a forefinger, marveling at the silkiness of her skin.

"I know," she said.

"I feel as though I'm opening up to you in all sorts of ways. I lose my boundaries. I don't know where you begin and I end."

"Does that frighten you?" Martha wasn't sure why she asked that question. Maybe it was something in his tone of voice.

"A little. I've never wanted to be so honest with anyone before. I've never felt as though I wanted to unreel my whole life and say, 'Look, this is Nick Novak—what he was like, what he is now, what he is going to be,' but I feel that way with you."

She reached up to caress his cheek. "Dear Nick. Thank you for feeling that way about me. It makes me happy to know."

They fell asleep then, still wrapped in each other's arms. In the morning they made love again, slowly and yet passionately. And when he left her on the dock at the Bagel Barn, he kissed her tenderly right in front of Randy.

"We'll go away this weekend, okay? I'm sure I can talk Hallie into spending the weekend at the lodge. We'll go out on the
Tabor,
and this time I don't want to do any trolling. I don't want to do anything but drift and dream with you."

Today was Thursday. That meant they'd leave Saturday morning. They'd have both Saturday and Sunday to spend together.

"I'll line up Randy to take care of things at work," Martha promised, and she spent all day contemplating how wonderful it would be to be on the
Tabor
again, just the two of them together.

But they didn't go. Nick stopped by the Bagel Barn late that afternoon. Martha knew as soon as she saw his worried expression that something was wrong, terribly wrong.

"Is it possible for you to spend the weekend in town at your apartment?" he asked tersely.

Martha took in his distraction, his rumpled hair and the crease between Nick's worried brown eyes.

"Why, yes, I suppose so," she said. "What's happened? Is something wrong?"

It was as though a knife fell between them, cutting their line of communication.

"Something's wrong, yes, but it doesn't concern you." He hesitated.

"Davey? Is Davey all right?"

"Davey is fine. Martha, don't ask me any more. I can't talk about it, do you understand?" His gaze raked her face, begging for understanding, but Martha couldn't give it. She didn't understand. And she knew that something momentous was about to occur and that she wouldn't like it at all.

"I have to go out of town," Nick said, biting off the words sharply. "I don't know when I'll be back."

"But what about going away on the
Tabor
?" Her disappointment was so keen that she felt like crying.

"It'll have to wait."

"Nick—"

"We'll talk later." For one long moment, Nick's expression seemed to beg her forgiveness, but then he turned on his heel and headed toward the cannery.

Randy noticed the tears in Martha's eyes.

"Martha, if I can help in any way," he began.

Martha shook her head vigorously. The tears threatened to spill over. "No, I'll be okay," she said.

"If you want me to close up the Bagel Barn for you while you leave, I'll be glad to," he offered.

"No," Martha said, and methodically and automatically she went about her usual tasks. She wouldn't cry yet. She'd wait until she got back to her apartment.

But when she finally reached home, she didn't cry. She was too angry for that. All Nick's talk about wanting to be open with her, about wanting to unreel his life so that she'd know everything about him, meant nothing if he didn't follow through by confiding in her now. He'd said that he felt like being completely open with her. If that was true, then why wasn't he?

Nick had convinced her that he loved her. She believed him, despite this new incident. Now more than ever she wanted to know his secrets. She had to know if she were going to make the decisions she knew she must face.

How could she marry Nick Novak when she had so many unresolved questions about his mysterious past?

* * *

"How's Davey?" Billy Long asked as he and Nick hurried through the creaky swinging doors at the hospital in Petersburg.

"He's talking now, Billy. He's making great progress."

"Is this because of his visits with the psychiatrist in Juneau?"

"That's part of it. But there are other things, too," he said, not knowing how to tell this man who was Davey's uncle about Martha and her effect on Davey. He decided not to mention Martha, at least for now.

Elsa Long lay in her hospital bed, each breath a painful rasp. She was covered by a white thermal-knit blanket, and her hands, worn and corded with blue veins, were folded across her chest.

"How bad is it?" Nick asked in an undertone as he stood gazing down at her small, leathery face.

"Granny is very old," whispered Billy. "I never know if she'll make it. Last time we expected her to die, and you know what happened. She made it through all right."

Elsa opened her eyes. "If you're going to say something about me, don't whisper. Say it so I can hear it," she snapped. Her voice was weak, but there was no doubt that she understood what was happening.

"Nick's here, Granny," Billy said.

"Nick," Elsa said. "Is Davey all right?"

Nick sat down by her bed. "Davey is fine. He's talking now, Elsa. Not a lot, but enough."

Elsa closed her eyes. Nick wasn't sure whether she had fallen asleep or was merely gathering her strength for more words.

"Something important," she said, her tone so low that he had to bend close to hear her.

"Yes, Elsa?"

"I want you to adopt Davey." The old woman paused and licked her dry lips. Her eyes pleaded with Nick. "Will you?"

Nick already thought of Davey as his. He supposed he'd thought of the boy as his very own since he first held him in his arms a few months after the accident. He didn't have to think it over.

"Of course I will adopt him," he said slowly. "Of course."

"You are a good man, Nick Novak," whispered Elsa.

Nick thought she had fallen asleep, but she opened her eyes again. "Take care of the arrangements now, Nick," she begged. "I can die happy if I know my grandson is legally yours."

"If there's time—" Nick began.

"There's time. A lawyer. Billy will find you one. I'll sign anything I have to if it means Davey will be your son."

Nick rose to his feet. He patted Elsa Long's hand awkwardly.

"Davey is already mine," he told her. "He's been mine for a long time now."

A hint of a smile passed over Elsa's lips. "I know," she said.

Afterward, when Nick and Billy were talking over a cup of coffee in the hospital cafeteria, Billy said, "You mean it, Nick? You'll adopt Davey?"

"I love that kid like my own," Nick said. "He's lived with me for more than three years. It's crossed my mind many times that I'd like to make it legal. I didn't bring it up because I thought it might be hard on Elsa. Yes, I'm going to adopt Davey."

Billy's relief was obvious. "I'm glad, Nick. Me and Gloria, we don't have much money. We can't take on raising another kid on top of raising our own two teenagers. For you to bring up my sister's baby when he's no kin to you—well, I'll always be grateful for your generosity, Nick."

"Don't thank me," he said, embarrassed by Billy's gratitude. Nick shoved his coffee cup away and stood up. "Let's go find a lawyer who can tell me what I need to do," he said, clapping Billy on the shoulder.

Nick called Martha that night. He had known she would sound cold, but he hadn't been prepared for her words to chill him like a dunk in the winter ocean.

"I don't understand anything," Martha said unhappily. "All I know is that this is the second time this has happened, Nick."

"I know."

"First you tell me that I'm the only woman you ever wanted to be honest and open with, and then you run off on some unexplained errand that takes several days. When will you be back?"

"I'm not sure," he said.

"Why aren't you?" She deliberately put the screws to him, knowing that he was squirming on the other end of the phone line.

"I can't go into it. Trust me, Martha, that's all I ask."

Martha let out a sigh of complete exasperation.

"Nick, I hate it when you won't communicate with me. We were doing so well together. Remember the utter frustration you felt when you would talk with Davey but he wouldn't talk with you?"