Read Farrah in Fairyland Online

Authors: B.R. Stranges

Tags: #humor, #fantasy, #teens, #fantasy action adventure fiction novel epic romance magic dragons elves unicorns war law legal reform, #teens 13 to 15, #fiction fantasy epic, #fairies hunter magic fantasy

Farrah in Fairyland

BOOK: Farrah in Fairyland
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Farrah in Fairyland


By B.R.



All Rights


2011 B.R.

Chapter 1: The Legend…

“The earth is
burning, Farrah!”

“It’s always
burning; actually it has been so long…I can’t remember it not

“Yeah, but this
time it is different. This time it burns even worse.”

“You’re talking
nonsense, Giuseppe.”

“I’m telling
you, Farrah, it is worse. I can’t even see Mount Everest

“What in all of
Fairyland are you talking about, Giuseppe?”

“Look – the
smoke is so thick and black that you can’t see anything down

“Okay, okay,
let go of my hand…you’re right, what the heck are they doing to

“I don’t know,
but it doesn’t look like things are getting any better Farrah”

“Silly humans,
I can’t believe that they would destroy such a wonderful

“I guess they
didn’t realize how wonderful it was until it was too late.”

“My dad used to
tell me about this place on earth. It was a beautiful garden with
many plants and flowers, and the most wondrous birds and insects
used to live there. My dad wanted dearly to go down and see it in
person, but he never had the chance to.”

“It is too late
now, Farrah, it’s probably gone.”

“Yeah, sad
isn’t it?”

“In a sense,

“In a sense?
How can you say that, Giuseppe?”

“Well, I was
just thinking, maybe now that things are so bad down on earth,
people will want to come and live up here in Fairyland.”

“You bite your
tongue, Giuseppe.”

“I know,
Farrah, it is not the most tactful thing to say, but if they do
start to come and live here, maybe Fairyland would be saved.”

“People haven’t
made the voyage to Fairyland in years, Guiseppi. Plus, you know
that Fairyland can’t exist without the Earth.”

“Your realism
always puts a damper on things, Farrah. Just once I wish you would
let me dream a little.”

“Dreaming is
for suckers, Giuseppe. If you want to make something happen, you go
out and do it.”

Pfft –
What are
Ordinaria going to do?

“I don’t know,
Giuseppe…but Fairyland will not disappear – I won’t let it!”


Whatever you
think you know about fairies – you are dead wrong. It is true that
some fairies are wonderfully playful and innocently kind, but
others are vicious beyond your wildest nightmares. Luckily, I’m
here to help you along – you know, just in case you ever encounter
one of those not-so-nice fairies. That is, of course, if you dare
to read on. Nobody will blame you if you put this book down. Nobody
will blame you if you want to keep your precious images of tiny,
sparkly fairies alive. As for those of you that want to know the
truth, you can keep reading.

Our story
begins at a time when the world was completely coming apart.
Natural disasters and rabid disease had forced many humans to lose
faith. Ravaged by numerous wars, they had forgotten what it truly
meant to live – to be human.

Having fun had
become an abnormal occurrence. The human race had become one of
seriousness, a boring culture of survival, if you will. The
survivors had forgotten how to love and were now driven by hatred.
However, I guess that is natural for any culture that is just
trying to survive.

Humans believed
that fighting was the only way to maintain their way of life. Of
course, this was at the expense of the earth, which was being
destroyed at a phenomenal rate. As Farrah and Giuseppe looked down
at earth from the clouds of Fairyland, they barely recognized the
once remarkable place.

Thankfully, our
story is not about the earth. Instead, our story is about the
mysticalness that is Fairyland. Don’t be fooled however, Fairyland
had its own problems. Problems that some would consider were even
more devastating than the ones endured by humans.

The exact
location of Fairyland is hard to pinpoint. After all, it hovers
just beyond the clouds. Perpetually in motion, Fairyland is at the
mercy of the wind. Graceful yet unpredictable, the land is
propelled in every direction.

It is a land
where the weather is always at a comfortable, warm temperature and
the bright orange trees and grasslands are rich and lavish. The
seas had been enchanted the colour of red and much like the land
itself, the landforms within this mystical land were in constant
motion. This makes it especially difficult for a fairy to find his
or her favourite lake to take a dip, or a favourite hill to take a
hike. Before I go any further, it is important to understand what I
mean by the word fairy. As I have already alluded to, your
impressions are probably skewed.

For instance,
the fairies of Fairyland look nothing like the ones often portrayed
in movies. They are not as royal looking as the Fairy Godmother in
Cinderella, and not as fragile as Tinkerbell in Peter Pan. The
fairies within Fairyland are approximately the same size and shape
as humans. Some Fairies are large with humongous muscles, much like
the humans that compete in the annual Iron Man competition. Some
are beautiful and slender like the human celebrities that grace the
cover of magazines. Other fairies are not so fortunate, looking
somewhat grotesque. This has forced them to hide away in the
forested areas of Fairyland. A good thing, considering they often
indulge in the flesh of fairies.

Five distinct
features separate Fairyland fairies from humans. The first is the
fact that they all have wings, as you may have already guessed; two
transparent wings that glitter silver in the sunlight. However, not
all fairies can fly. The Ordinaria have a set of wings, which are
far too small and they are relegated to using other modes of flying
transportation. Only the Superiora, with their large magnificent
wings, can soar through the skies. It is because of this that there
is a deep separation and even hatred between the Ordinaria and the
Superiora, but I’ll get to that a little later. Oh, and I’ll let
you guess for now what category Farrah falls into.

The fairies of
Fairyland all have six fingers on each hand. This can come in
handy, especially for the speedy completion of those unflattering
household chores. A fairy has pointed ears that come up well past
the top of their heads, perfect for hearing other fairies flying
above. Fairies also have tiny tails, reminiscent of a furry
chinchilla’s tail. Cute yes, unless you are a big-bottomed fairy,
then the tail tends to stick way out for all to see.

The face of a
fairy is somewhat protruded with the tiniest hint of a snout.
Although one might think otherwise, this does not give a fairy a
heightened sense of smell. Furthermore, each fairy always carries a
pouch of Pixie dust with them. Although, the dust is tailored to
that individual fairy and it is not a generic all-magical brand as
many humans think.


“Farrah, what
are you doing? FAR-RAH! Stop ignoring me. What are you DOING!”

“I- I’m going
down there, Giuseppi.”

“But you can’t,
Farrah! If the King finds out that an Ordinaria has gone down to
Earth, he’ll throw you in jail.”

“I don’t care
anymore, Giuseppi. Our land is falling apart, something has to be

“Farrah, you
are naive to think that you along can solve all of Fairyland’s

“Well, I don’t
see anyone else doing anything about it?”

please…you don’t have a plan. You’ll get killed!”


There is a
legend that all of Fairyland knows. It involves an outlandish King
who put forth a radical concept for the fairies of Fairyland. They
were given the choice to give up their powers and go to live down
on Earth as regular human beings. He called this his Utopia Clause.
He wanted only those fairies that were truly happy to live in
Fairyland. There was only one stipulation. They were to reveal the
secret of Fairyland to as many human boys and girls as possible.
The story goes that if that, if a child believed that Fairyland
exists and truly wanted to leave earth, their wish would be
granted. Unfortunately, it had been ten years since any earthling
had made the mystical journey to Fairyland. This is at the heart of
our story.

In all, it is
said that over one thousand humans did come and live in Fairyland.
At one point, the Fairy Queen had tried to convince the king to
eliminate the rule out of fear that many of the talented Superiora
fairies would depart Fairyland for Earth. As it turned out, this
would never be a problem. In the beginning, it was mainly the
misfit fairies, those that didn’t really fit in, that chose to give
up their powers and go to live as a human.

Most recently,
Fairies didn’t dare take the King up on his offer, fearing that the
deteriorated Earth was on a collision course to oblivion. So the
crisis had been averted. However, a new crisis loomed.

Despite popular
belief, fairies age and eventually die. Although they age much
slower than humans – ten earth years is equivalent to one fairy
year. As it is on earth, death is inevitable in Fairyland. With no
young humans coming to Fairyland, the fear was that, in the not too
distant future, the fairies of Fairyland would cease to exist. This
realization resulted in many sleepless nights for Farrah.

I offer my
apologies to you, since I realize you do not know who Farrah is
yet. Well, to put it bluntly, she is the star of our show. Farrah
Felicity Fancycracker is a young fairy – one and a half Fairyland
years old, which is about 15 in human years. She is an only fairy
and lives with her mother, Crystaline, and her father, Couraggio
Fancycracker. The Fancycracker family work as bakers, but you will
learn more about this as the story goes on.

Farrah is a
beautiful fairy, a classic beauty, which she accentuated well by
choosing not to wear any makeup. She is the perfect height and the
perfect build - her body type, slender and graceful. Here violet
eyes were big and bright. She looks quite different from her
parents who are both overly plump. Who can blame them, after all,
as I have already mentioned, they are a family of bakers.

Farrah is
indeed as perfect a fairy as they come, but this mattered not to
the other fairy boys. To them, Farrah was an unspectacular
Ordinaria with pathetic little wings. Only Superiora girls, like
Samantha Scarcity and her big beautiful wings, caught the gaze of
the boys. As a result, Farrah has never been on a date, nor even
kissed a boy. Instead, Farrah devoted her time to knowledge. In
particular, the history of Fairyland and all its fairies.

The official
fairy records indicate that it had been 20 years since the last
human made the journey to Fairyland. Farrah remembered her mother
telling this story:

The young
human boy was sleeping in his bed when a creature snuck into his
room. It was hovering silently over the bed before the creature
woke him up. He spit right in the boy’s face and laughed at him.
For some strange reason, however, the human boy was not afraid.

In speaking to
the Fairy – who had apparently shrunk down to a very tiny size, the
boy learned that his name was Pido. He was an ugly looking creature
with his belly folded well beyond his bellybutton. By far, he was
the ugliest Tooth Fairy in all of Fairyland. His voice sounded
mumbled, with his quadruple-chin always getting in the way.

When he first
told about Fairyland, the boy laughed in the fairy’s face. The
laughter quickly turned to one of annoyance when the Tooth Fairy
refused to perform magic to verify the story. Unimpressed with the
excuse that it was against the rules, the boy asked the weird
looking creature to leave.

explained by Farrah’s mom, the next part of the story is a little
some reason, however, the boy’s attitude changed abruptly. Some say
that Pido broke the rules and gave the boy a brick of gold. Others
believe that Pido used a persuasion spell. Nevertheless, at that
moment, the boy looked past Pido’s hideously green, lizard-like
features and started to believe that Pido was telling the truth.
Not long after that, the human boy was transported to Fairyland to
begin his new life as a fairy.

Now that you
are up to speed, I will continue with the story. Here’s a little
glimpse of what Farrah Felicity Fancycracker was up to. I guess it
was one fairy year ago.

Chapter 2: Farrah’s Plight

“Farrah Cakes!
It’s time to get up!”

sobbed uncontrollably, her face buried in her pillow, as she lay in
bed. Although her mother had called her a number of times to come
down for dinner, she consciously ignored her, opting instead to
wallow in her depression. Tomorrow, she would be starting her new
career, a career that she disliked immensely because she had not
chosen it. Farrah was being forced to become a baker, just like her
parents and their parents and
parents. Although she had finished at the top of her class
at the Pixie Academy, a culinary path was all that was in the cards
for her. The more desirable fairy careers, made popular by many
human fairy tales, were reserved for the elite in Fairyland. By
elite, this of course, meant the Superiora. Being an Ordinaria,
without the ability to fly, Farrah’s potential for a satisfying
career was limited.

BOOK: Farrah in Fairyland
2Mb size Format: txt, pdf, ePub

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