Knight of Ocean Avenue (13 page)

“Sounds like you’re the one with a right to be pissed, not him. What does this have to do with Billy Ballew?”

Shaz puffed out his cheeks and exploded little puffs of breath. “He was at Anthony’s.”

“What the—you’re kidding?”

“No. He was there.”

“Did he follow you? How could he be at a gay bar by accident?”

Shaz zipped the bag and crossed to a rack on the other wall. “Apparently he’s been there before.”

“You are shitting me. He’s gay?”

He hung the garment bag, turned, and leaned against the wall. “That’s the question of the century, I think.”

“Did he see you?”

“Oh yes.” He sighed.

“Oh dear.”

“I gather he has a fondness for getting head from men. He tells me it’s because he’s been so beat up by women that guys seem less complicated.”

“Oh, that’s an interesting work of fiction.”

“And one that works for him. When I saw him, he was negotiating with Perry.’

“Holy blessed shit. Straight to the big leagues, our boy.”

“Yes, well, I was afraid he’d find himself in the World Series, so I walked him out the door.”

“Okay, darling, I am now officially holding my breath.”

“Yes.” He stared at his satin tennies.

“Tell me you did not feel the need to take Perry’s place.”

“I could tell you that, but it would be a lie.”

Ru fell back against the wall. “Baby, what is it about that big guy that messes you up so bad?”

Shaz stared out the side window. “He’s a knight.”

“And you’re a damsel in distress.”

“I suppose. But it doesn’t matter. I shocked him. I tried to make it unimportant, but we both knew it was a lie. The earth moved, and we’ll never be pals again. Sadly, I liked having him as a friend. You should meet his cats.” Shaz shook his head. “And let’s not forget that I cheated on a perfectly good boyfriend.”

“You’re not going to tell Giles, are you?”

“Oh, you know me. Probably.”

“Jesus, Shaz. You and Ballew belong together. You’re a couple of damned Boy Scouts.”

“Except that Boy Scouts can’t be gay.” A tear dipped down his cheek. “Shit.”

“I’m so sorry.” Ru leaped up, cleared the space between them, and gave Shaz a hug. “Maybe it’s for the best. Even if he’s a closet case, he probably doesn’t want to come out. That’s an invitation to heartache.”

“I know.”

“Besides, you keep telling me that Giles is made for you.”

“Yes. He fits all my pictures.”
Just keep saying that
. He nodded at the two bags. “Will you call a messenger to deliver these to south Laguna?”

Ru raised an eyebrow. “Do you have the address of the castle?”

“Screw you, darling. Screw you.” But it was damned obvious who was really screwed.

J
E
-
SUS
.

Billy sat on the side of the bed and squinted against the afternoon sun. He felt like crap. He hadn’t shut his eyes even once all night, then worked his ass off for four hours on one of his side jobs. Now he got to wander like a zombie through his sister’s wedding rehearsal and the dinner for the wedding, without which his life would still be in one piece and kind of normal and he would not be wondering who the hell he was.

Maybe if he could just get past this night and then the wedding, things could return to normal.
Normal. Shit
. He stared at the garment bags. He’d been so excited about having these new clothes. Now he just felt sad. When the messenger brought them, the guy might as well have punched Billy in the stomach. Yes, he’d asked for the clothes to be sent to him. Had there been some little piece of his heart that hoped Shaz would refuse? Or maybe bring them himself?
Stupid.

He got up and joined the boys, who sniffed around the bottom of the bags. Slowly Billy pulled down the zipper and looked at the suit, the jacket, and the shirts. All that money so he could impress his mother while he escorted Sissy to the events. Hell, he’d like to stay home.

Another unzipped bag revealed the tux. He’d never had anything even close. Black as midnight and soft as silk. He hadn’t paid for this one. Mitch bought them for all the groomsmen, probably so Billy wouldn’t feel like such a loser.
Shit
.

He squatted down and scratched Clancy and Yerby under the chin. Yerby rolled over and presented belly. Shaz had liked the boys a lot. “You liked Shaz a lot too, didn’t you, guys?” Clancy did the pushover trick, and Billy wound up sitting on his butt on the floor.

He flopped back and stared at the ceiling as the cats climbed onto his chest. It felt weird lying there. He never just lay around. Work consumed most of his life, family took nine-tenths of the rest, and he crammed in a few hours for the kids on his team in the balance. Guys like him didn’t lie around and think. But was he a “guy like him,” really? He’d picked up a hammer back when he was still in ninth grade, before he’d failed at school. The guys on the construction crew had made him feel wanted, accepted, and safe. Not dumb. Not so much like a loser. He worked with them, drank and joked with them occasionally, but did he ever feel like one of them?

He propped himself up on his forearm and stared at the clothes. “Guys like him” didn’t wear clothes like that. What would the men on his crew think if they knew he was getting “styled” by a bunch of gay guys? He took a deep breath. What would they say if they knew he’d let the gay guy blow him?

Enough.
He sat up. There was only one question on the table right now. Why the fuck did he want guys to suck his cock? Men like him didn’t do that. He knew that for sure. Jim, Harry, and Raoul were not sitting somewhere dreaming about the pretty lips of a flaming queen.

But he was.

There. That was the truth
.

He hadn’t left last night because he was shocked or horrified by what Shaz had done. He ran because he was scared if he stayed, he’d do it back.
What would that be like?
What would it taste like to have a man’s cock in his mouth? No, not a man. He’d never wanted to suck off Perry or any other guy he’d ever seen. Maybe he liked guys giving him head—
shit, that was bad enough
—but he’d never been tempted to return the favor until Shaz.

What kind of guy am I really?

He kind of wanted to ask Shaz.

So why did you ask for the clothes back and not go see him, idiot?

Scared.

Of what? Knowing the truth? Falling on your knees and giving him a blow job?

There were some big fat possibilities staring him in the face. He might be crappy in school and an all-around loser at tests, but he wasn’t dumb.

He ran a hand over his neck. Didn’t want to think about it.

You’ve put off thinking about it for twenty-five years.

Come on, not that long.

Okay, ten. Remember admiring Creighton MacDonal’s ass during baseball practice and convincing yourself it was just because you wanted buns of steel like that?

A little shot of electricity flashed through his cock. He stood up. He had to get dressed.

Not going to think about it again, huh?

Shut up.

He took a shower, shaved closely, fed the boys a big dinner so they could make it until he got back, and faced the clothes. Okay, boxer briefs. Just pulling the damned things on made him think of Shaz. Shaz handing him these briefs to wear under his suit. Shaz’s eyes getting big when he stared at Billy’s cock. The same cock he’d ended up sucking.

Shit! Do not think about this now.

He pulled on the briefs, grabbed a pale pink shirt, shrugged it over his shoulders, and tucked it into some black slacks Shaz had managed to get tailored so that Billy’s ass looked like the cover of some men’s magazine. He hadn’t known he could look like this. He ran a hand through the too-long hair. The haircut Shaz had promised went away when Billy asked for the clothes back, but with this outfit on, his hair looked stylish instead of tacky.

Clancy and Yerby sat at the foot of the bed and stared at him.

“What do you think, guys?” He slipped on the mauve jacket. This color combo should have looked girly, but on somebody as big as him, it didn’t. It was damned great.

Yerby cocked his silky black head like he was considering the verdict.

“I know it’s not up to your level of style, my man, but I think I may have outdone Clancy, don’t you?”

Clancy turned and gave him a fuzzy back as he lay down facing the head of the bed.

“Sorry. Maybe we’re equally gorgeous.” He stared in the mirror. What would Shaz think?

Shouldn’t he be worried about what Sissy would think?

Yes, he should, but he wasn’t. Those were the facts, and he was sick of running from them.

What are you going to do about it?

No idea yet, but if he could keep from running again, it would be a victory.

He slipped on those too-expensive, too-beautiful boots and headed out the door.

A half hour later, he walked into the entry hall of the big fancy Newport Beach church where the wedding would be held. His mom had lobbied for their old family church in Santa Ana, but ultimately it wasn’t big enough for all the Auchinclosses’ friends and family. Plus they might get some Santa Ana on them. That would be bad. Fortunately, Mitch wasn’t as snooty as his parents, and neither was Sissy. Mitch seemed to genuinely care about Rhonda, even if he had acted a little weird at the bachelor party.

“Billy, hi.” Sissy looked up from a pack of girls, all wearing the same dresses, who were gathered over by one of the doors to the inside of the church. Grinning, she barreled up to him. She gave him a quick peck on the cheek, then stepped back and surveyed him. “Holy shit, handsome. You look good enough to munch.”

He grinned. “You do have a way with words. You look very purple yourself.”

She glanced down at the figure-hugging gown that displayed her slim body and big boobs to good advantage. “Shaz calls it ‘aubergine.’ But it’s nice, huh?”

“Actually it’s great. Uh, where is Shaz?”

“Oh, he made sure the gowns fit us all perfectly, then took off. He’s so busy, you know?”

That was probably good.

“So come meet the girls.” She led him over to the huge cluster of “aubergine”—five young women, four of whom he knew from growing up as his sister’s friends, and one beautiful stranger.

“Hey, Billy.” Mercy Hernandez’s curves strained the slim dress a bit but still looked great.

“Hi, Merce.” Billy gave her a one-armed hug.

“Hi, Billy.”

“Hi, Billy.”

“Hi, ladies.” The Merkowsky twins, Jean and Jane. Just another day of being identical for them since, even in their late twenties, the girls still dressed alike.

“Hey, kiddo.” Latoya Johnson, Rhonda’s best buddy, gave him a flying tackle. Her dress was a slightly different style, with a fuller skirt to go over her ample hips, but her gorgeous shoulders and boobs were on show.

Billy grinned. “You look great, Mama.”

She strutted in front of him. “Gotta show them curves, my man.”

Sissy took his arm. “Obviously you don’t need introducing.” He felt her hands tense a little. “Except for Antonia. You don’t know her.”

The gorgeous girl stepped up. Black hair, pale skin, and boobs that came out of no package, Antonia defined sexy. “I’ve heard so much about you.” She extended her hand.

He took it and felt her squeeze gently. Soft like a promise. Sissy gave a light yank on his arm. “Antonia is my cousin. I guess the family wanted her in the wedding party too.”

Antonia smiled, showing even white teeth. One of those smiles that was almost too big. Think Julia Roberts. “Sissy is always so gracious. I was honored to be selected. And I look forward to getting to know you—and Rhonda’s whole family, of course.”

Her voice had a little lilt. Billy smiled back. “Where are you from?”

“I was born in Argentina but left when I was still fairly young. My father was an ambassador at the time.”

Sissy’s fingers dug in. “Yes, Antonia’s been all over. She doesn’t stay in one place very long.”

Man, these two were not friends. He turned to Sissy. “So, what do we have to do?”

She glanced at Antonia, then smiled at Billy. “Come on, I’ll introduce you to the wedding planner. The minister is still in back with Rhonda and Mitch, but your family’s down front.”

He nodded at Antonia as Sissy hauled him through the doors from the entry hall into the church. The place was a cathedral, or his idea of one. Huge, soaring, stained glass windows shone light down onto the long aisle, and kind of high-tech-looking pews curved around the altar area. It was great. Maybe not exactly religious-looking, but good furniture design.

A bunch of people crowded into the front few pews. He saw his dad, Teresa, Austin, and his mom, looking tight-lipped, sitting in the front pew on the left. On the opposite side sat a beautiful, blonde, equally tight-lipped woman with a man Billy could only describe as pretty sitting with her. The man had an arm over the back of the pew, laid-back and relaxed.

His mother saw him, frowned, and gestured strongly for him to come to her. He walked down the aisle still with Sissy on his arm. His mother looked up. “You took your time getting here.”

He glanced at his watch. “Not really, Mom. I’m about five minutes late. I was told four.”

Sissy nodded. “Rhonda told the groomsmen to be here later since they aren’t dressing. No biggie, Mrs. Ballew. The minister isn’t even ready yet.”

His mother crossed her arms. “I wouldn’t want the Auchinclosses to think we’re holding up the rehearsal in this grand establishment.”

Saved by the door
. The one to the back opened just then, and Rhonda and Mitch walked out with the minister.

Rhonda hurried over to the people he assumed were Mitch’s parents. She waved to him, and he went over to her with Sissy still in tow.

Rhonda put an arm through Billy’s. “Billy, this is Mitch’s mother, Cassandra Auchincloss, and his dad, Vance.”