Knockdown (22 page)

“Now what?” Dylan sighed.

“I’ll clean the mess and see what else there is to eat.” I knew that wasn’t what he meant, but I wasn’t sure where to begin. It hurt to even face him. He looked so much like Cole.

Dylan followed me down, grabbed the flashlight, and climbed up top to check for intruders.

I searched the cupboard, found a can of tomato sauce and some noodles. If I added some spices, it might almost taste good. Twice the stove flickered and I worried we’d run out of gas.

“
Didn’t know you could cook.” Dylan rinsed his plate in the leftover seawater I’d boiled the pasta in.

“I can’t.” I made a face. “It was horrible.
”

He dried his hands
. “The noodles weren’t so bad.”

I giggled.

He grinned.

My heart ached. I did lo
ve my brother. “Are you going to be all right?”

He shrugged.

I
hurt beyond anything I could imagine, missing Cole, and he wasn’t my twin.

I carried
my dirty dish to the sink. “When Zoë made me get out of bed today, she reminded me that
we
brought this group out here. We owe it to them to try to get them someplace safe.”

Dylan shook his head. “We don’t owe them…”

“But she’s right, Dylan. You and I were out of it for a couple of days. They had problems with the boat.”

“What! You got
drunk too?” Dylan leapt to his feet.

I motioned for him to calm down. “No, bu
t I stayed in bed, mostly sleeping, for two days. The crew didn’t know what to do. The sails got messed up.”

“Too freakin
’ bad.” Dylan sat back down.

“You don’t get it. No matter how terrible we feel, we have to get them someplace safe.”

Dylan stared at me. “Since when do you quote Zoë? I thought you hated her?”

“I’ve never hated…
” I carried the pot over to the counter. “Well, okay. She annoys me sometimes, but she really loves you. She came out here for you.” I dropped the plate in the pan of noodle water. “We have to get her and the rest of them to safety. And then find the rest of our family.”

“
Oh. God. I can’t face Dad. I can’t even face myself in the mirror.”

I cringed. I hadn’t thought how hard it would be to look in the mirror and see your brother’s face.

I moved across the cabin and hugged Dylan. “Promise me you’ll at least try to get along? Make an effort to work with everyone.”

He didn’t hug me back
. I stepped away.

Dylan scowled. “How bad was I?”

“What do you mean?”

“I was drunk, but I remember some of the things I said and did. I’m sure everyone hates me.”

I moved back to the galley. “You were a big jerk. But you just lost your brother and everyone will forgive you. At least if you try to make amends. No more alcohol. And Cole’s death was an accident. The tsunamis’ fault.”

I scraped the sauce pan into the garbage.

Dylan spoke quietly. “I should have made him go back to bed. I knew he wasn’t well. But he wanted to talk. We planned the rest of the trip. We talked about where we thought Mom and Dad might be and how they were traveling. I don’t know. It felt normal. You know. Just Cole and me.”

I added soap and gin
to the salt water I’d boiled the noodles in. “Okay. Maybe you should have tried to get Cole to go back to bed. But being with you was what he wanted to do. Makala and Boots are not allowed to go up top alone, but they did. If Cole had been healthy, he wouldn’t have died in the water. The real reason he’s gone is the tsunami.”

Dylan sighed. “Just tell me what you want me to do.”

“I want you to tell the group you’re sorry and that you won’t drink anymore.”

“Fine.”

“Good.” I stared at him.

“I said fine.”

I
began to wash the dishes. “That’s settled, then. Let’s get some warm clothes and go up top.”

We sat in silence on the starboard side of the cabin, watching the fire on shor
e grow. The clouds seemed even thicker and darker. I missed the stars. I missed Mom and Dad. I missed Cole.

From the shore we heard a deep baritone
singing. One by one, the others joined Nick. I listened and soon recognized the simple song.

“Row, row, row your boat
…”

They were singing
camping songs for Makala. I mouthed the words along with them. Long shadows bounced around the fire. Some of them were dancing. I pictured Takumi holding Angelina in his arms. How had life gotten so messed up?
How had things gotten so messed up?

Then the singing
stopped.

Jervis
bellowed, “What was that?”

Makala shrieked
, “Sissy!”

Takumi yelled, “Everyone
in the raft. Grab the water.”

The flashlights swung crazily.

“What’s going on? What’s wrong?” I leaned on the rail and shouted across the water.

“Oh God, they’re everywhere,”
Zoë cried.

Dylan went below
to get the gun. The splash of oars soon approached the boat.

“What happ
ened?” I counted. They were all there.

“My skin
crawls.” Zoë shivered.

“
Anyone get bitten?” Takumi glanced around the life raft.

“Bit
ten? Were you attacked by raccoons?” I asked.

“
Raccoons?” Takumi frowned. “What raccoons?”

“What attacked you?” I gritted my teeth.

“Mice,” Takumi said.

“No. No. They
were huge. Rats.” Zoë showed me with her hands how big they’d been.

Dylan took
the gun back down to the cabin.

We tied the raft off the stern. The shore party began talking at once. They’d been by the fire, singing,
and roasting marshmallows when they felt something running around their feet. Soon they could see mice on the logs and then the tiny critters started climbing up their legs and on their backs.

Zoë
scampered her fingers up my arm, imitating a mouse. “That’s what it felt like.”

I slapped her hand away and turned to Angelina and Makala. “You guys okay?”

“Yeah. Just creeped out,” Angelina said.

“At least we brought back some boiled water.” Nick lifted a large stock pot out of the dinghy and rested it on the stern.

Dylan picked up the pot and started toward the cabin.

I glanced down. “Dylan, wait.”

“What?” He scowled at me.

“Look!”

He leaned over the water. Floating on the surface were two tiny dead mice.

“Poor mouses,
” Makala whimpered.

Chapter
Twenty-Six

Land, Six Days to Go

Those who’d gone ashore talked on and on about how great the water they’d boiled and drank around the fire had been. I kept eyeing the last can of soda.

Makala climbed on
Jervis’ lap. “I pretended my hot water was cocoa. Sissy said she was drinking a Starbucks mocha. Jervis had a Irish coffee, even though he’s not Irish.” Makala giggled at her joke and asked Angelina, “What’s a Irish?”

Jervis
and Angelina chuckled. I was happy they’d made up.

T
hirst won me over. I opened the soda and began to drink. The bubbles burned my throat. My body cried, ‘more, more.’ Everyone stopped what they were doing and watched me.

“What?” I held
the can. “I haven’t had anything to drink all day and you had a water party.”

Makala pouted. “But we just
pretended
it tasted good.”

I sighed and handed her the soda.
She took a sip, glanced at her sister’s unhappy face and spit what she’d taken into her mouth back into the can.

“No!” I lunged a
cross the boat, trying to get to the can before the spit did. Makala squealed, threw the soda in the air, and crouched on the seat. The Coke flew and landed on the cabin floor. Sweet, dark liquid poured onto the teak.

Zoë
made a face and bent to pick it up off the floor. “You still want this?” She wrinkled her nose and shook it. There was a little left.

I took a sip.
It tasted fine and I finished off the can.

Makala sniffed.

I knelt in front of her. “It’s okay. I had plenty. In the morning we can go back and get lots of water.”

She poked her thumb into her mouth and snuggled against
Jervis. I found a dirty towel and cleaned up the spill. Takumi straightened his bed. Angelina left and came back with pajamas for Makala. Nick tidied the galley.

The bathroom door slid open. Dylan stood in the doorway, toothbrush in hand. The group continued
what they were doing, but became silent. Mom would have said he was the elephant in the room. Dylan’s head hung low as he walked to the desk and studied a chart he’d spread out. I gave him a nudge.

“What?”

I raised my eyebrows.

He took a deep breath and cleared his throat.

Everyone faced him.

“I owe you all an apology. I did and said things…” His head dropped.

For a long while no one spoke. My eyes started to water.

Jervis
handed Makala to Angelina and stepped forward with his hand out. “Hey, man, we’re cool. We miss Cole, too.”

Nick, Angelina, and
Zoë stared at the floor.

“Sorry about your brother.” Takumi shook Dylan’s hand.

Nick finally stood. “Cole was the best.” He looked away, and then back at Dylan. “I’ve known you forever, dude. You’ve never been a nice drunk, but this time you were over the top. What are we supposed to do next time you go on a binge?”

Dylan glanced at me. “I promise
d I wouldn’t drink like that again.”

Nick thought for a moment. “We’re good
, then.” He guy-hugged Dylan.

Dylan draped his arm around me. I could feel him shaking inside. This was hard for him.

I found his coat. “Dylan and I will go up top and check everything out. How cool is it we’re tied up in completely calm waters? We don’t have to do shifts tonight.”

Dylan
hurried up the steps. I waited a few moments, put on my coat, and grabbed a blanket.

Zoë
snatched the blanket out of my hands. “I want to talk to Dylan.”

“He needs some time alone,” I whispered.

“Too bad!” She spun and climbed topside.

Takumi was watching
me and my face grew hot. I flipped through the chart book and worried I’d hear Dylan and Zoë fighting. I considered it a good sign when I didn’t.

Makala and Boots headed to bed. Angelina paused by the chart table and laid her hand on my shoulder. “I don’t want to be hard on Dylan, but I’ve heard this kind of promise before.”

“Dylan will keep his.”

Angelina squeezed my arm
, and then followed her sister. I glanced at Takumi.

He nodded at me.

I hoped I was right about Dylan. Cole was always the one who could get through to him.

Angelina told the story of the three little
pigs with Makala’s help. Nick and Takumi climbed into bed and held flashlights up to books. Jervis lay on the floor, listening to Angelina.

I
was about to head to bed when the hatch opened and Dylan and Zoë started down.

“Too cold up there. I’ll put the boards in and lock up,” Dylan said.

Zoë wove through and around Jervis, to the v-berth. I couldn’t tell if she and Dylan had worked things out or not.

I glimpsed at the time on the wall clock. It was four in the morning. Time didn’t matter anymore. We slept when we could and ate when there was food. I joined the girls and listened to the end of Angelina’s story. I was exhausted. But when I closed my eyes, I saw Cole dive into the water. I imagined all the ways I could have stopped him. But with every version, Makala died.

I tried to picture the good times we’d had. My brother’s last birthday party… Christmas... summer vacations. It only made me miss him more.

Sleep, the escape I wanted, wouldn’t come. I left
the cabin as soon as it was light outside. Nick, Jervis, and Takumi were not in their beds. The dinghy was gone too. I waited in the main cabin, disappointed they’d left without me. On top of it all I was really, really thirsty.

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Six Days to Go, Gathering Supplies