Know Your Heart: A New Zealand Enemies to Lovers Romance (Far North Series Book 2) (24 page)

A door slammed, and then the truck drove back down the driveway. Deck planks vibrated as Glen walked toward the back of the house. Sav smoothed a hand over her hair and checked the width of her smile in the sliding door’s reflection, making sure her expression didn’t scream,
woman drowning here!

Glen appeared, the wetsuit body peeled down and arms knotted around his lean hips, exposing an indecent amount of tanned skin. And his face, when he spotted her—blue eyes sparkling with warmth and a smile, as if she, in his shirt and hastily dragged on leggings, was the best thing he’d seen all day. As if she, instead of being a woman about to metaphorically kick him in the balls, was a gigantic chocolate-fudge-smothered sundae.

She couldn’t be his chocolate sundae…not any longer.

Sav took a deep breath that burned every inch of her windpipe. “Glen—”

He scooped her against his hard body, the neoprene of his wetsuit still a little damp. Salt and the faint hint of beer tickled her nose as Glen buried his face in her hair and growled in appreciation.

“Mmm, you smell amazing.” Hot kisses trailed up her throat and along her jaw, and he flicked the tip of his tongue against her earlobe.

Her nipples stiffened, becoming painfully hard as Glen deftly changed direction and teased her mouth with soft, fast kisses. She couldn’t get the word “no” out—and she had to stop him because one touch from this man sent her flailing down the slippery slope into “yes, please, don’t stop”.

Glen cupped her face in his hands, bending in to press the tip of his nose to hers. “Hey. I need to tell you something.”

Savannah could only give a tiny nod while her inner voice said,
tell him to stop! Don’t let him keep talking.

But keep talking, he did. His thumbs brushed a slow sweep over her cheeks, and his gaze, so forthright and trusting, made her soul shrivel.

“After I had a near-death experience at the hands of your cousin,” he said, “I had a reality check. Ten years ago, I let you walk away from me without telling you how I felt. I won’t make that mistake again.”

He chuckled, a sound that normally sent pleasurable shivers down her spine but now filled her with dread.

“Because I don’t intend letting you walk away. Sav—”

Glen, no, please don’t
, her inner voice wailed.

“I love you,” he said.

The words fell like boulders between them, crushing, smashing, obliterating any hope she had of letting him down gently.

His brow creased, the first spark of apprehension darkening his gaze. “Sav?”

“Glen, you can’t.” Savannah’s voice cracked like cheap porcelain, her throat raw with unshed tears. “You don’t. We haven’t known each other more than a few weeks.”

“Oh, but I do.” His eyes crinkled.

Oh, God
. He thought she was only denying his feelings in a knee-jerk reaction.

“Love doesn’t give a damn about time.”

Savannah was thrown back to her teenage years. Two years had passed since the divorce, leaving her mother an empty shell…until she figured out she was still attractive to the opposite sex and dived back into the dating pool. A string of giddy, “Oh, Savvy, I’m in love—for real this time! I know he’s the one,” came thick and fast.

But none of
The Ones
had lasted more than a couple of months.

And now, this gorgeous,
wonderful
man was laying it all on the line. Telling her he loved her. But how could she believe it—how could she possibly have thought she loved him, too? Jamie had been right. Maybe they were both in love with the idea of being in love. So why did it cut her heart to ribbons as she prepared to break his?

But break it she would. Telling him
High Rollers
was history and that she had no choice—other than career suicide—but to go to L.A., wouldn’t be enough to save Glen from himself. If she gave him any hope, he’d follow her. Because inside the tough, logical, lawyer shell beat the heart of a knight who would sacrifice all for love.

Not real love
, she reminded herself. He didn’t know her well enough to truly love her. But for the romantic images he carried in his head, he’d give up everything for a woman too selfish to do the same.

Like hell would she let him.

***

The walls slammed down in Savannah’s eyes and Glen’s burst of joy at seeing her, barefoot and beautiful, wearing his shirt with sunshine streaming through the loose strands of her hair, bled away.

She watched him the same way a fencer watched their opponent, waiting for a tell, a sign of weakness where he or she could attack. And he’d just exposed a massive weakness. Maybe she’d nearly won a Golden Globe, but she wasn’t that good an actress.

She didn’t love him. He’d once again made a colossal ass of himself over this woman.

“I’m sorry, Glen.” Her eyelashes swept down as she stared at a spot on his collarbone. “I didn’t realize you were getting so serious…so attached. I thought we were enjoying each other, burning off some sexual tension.”

She slipped away from him, tucking a strand of hair behind her ears as she shot him a glance filled with embarrassment and regret…and a hint of pity.

He folded his arms, a gesture designed not only for distancing himself but to prevent him from reaching for her.

“Burning off sexual tension? All those times we made love, it was just part of your exercise program?”

It couldn’t be. The hours spent talking, laughing, losing themselves in the pleasure of each other’s bodies. The connection, the chemistry, the sheer
magic
between them…

“The sex was fun…”

He didn’t miss her emphasis on the word
sex
.

—“and I’m not denying it was amazing, but it was only sex, Glen, not love.” Her voice had gentled, as if she restrained herself from being even blunter. “I like you a lot, but the fun ends once you leave for Auckland. I’m sorry, we don’t seem to be on the same page.”

Evidently, they weren’t even reading the same book. He’d told himself he wouldn’t let her walk away a second time…guess his giant ego blocked the possibility that Savannah wouldn’t share his feelings.
Magic, his butt
. She didn’t love him; he’d imagined the whole thing. She didn’t want longer than today, tomorrow, the day after… Each beat of his heart was a horse kicking his ribs with nail-spiked shoes.

Her eye tooth nipped at the soft skin of her bottom lip, and she shivered. Huh? Was she scared of how he’d react? Did she think he’d make a grab for her? He was an idiot, but he wasn’t a stalker or a doormat. He wouldn’t try to change her mind or beg for her affections. Not while he still had some pride. But a few more days in her presence and she’d bring him to his knees.

“Thank you for clearing up my misunderstanding. I think under the awkward circumstances, I’ll concede defeat to the better player. I’ll leave you to your victory in peace.” His ears burned with the sound of his voice.

Pompous asshole, much?
But better a pompous asshole than a heart-broken loser.

Her eyes widened a fraction. “You’re leaving? But what about your book?”

Shrugging would’ve used muscles that still ached from the beating of the waves, so he merely stared, part of him irritated by his brain’s insistence he memorize the last glimpse of her face.

“I finished the book three days ago, so there’s nothing keeping me in Bounty Bay. Consider the last four days of my tenancy a thank you gift for the amazing sex.” He strolled to the corner of the house.

A sharp inhale behind him made him glance over his shoulder.

“You’re right, I forgot.” Another smile, so broad his jaw ached. “Good luck with the audition, Sav. You won’t need it though. You’re a hell of an actress.”

This time, he would be the one doing the walking.

Chapter 15

“Heard anything yet?”

Glen looked over at Jamie, red faced and sweating, sitting next to him on a bench overlooking the Waitemata Harbor after their five kilometer run. Glen could’ve easily gone for another five, but since his brother was building up from years of physical neglect, he didn’t want to push him too hard.

Tipping up his water bottle, Glen drank deep, stalling. The question could be answered in a number of ways, depending on what Jamie was really getting at. He tackled the easiest first.

“Yeah. I’ve got a couple of interviews next week.”

The interviews were for positions in environmental law firms. His father nearly stroked out when Glen walked into the office and quit on his first day back in Auckland two weeks ago. And Jamie? Glen shook his head, a smile curving his lips. Jamie was focused on repairing the damage with his wife and kids, and didn’t notice much of anything.

“Good for you. When one of the publishers bite on the three-book deal your agent’s pushing for, you’ll have more free time to write the next one.”

Glen snorted. “Who the hell are you, and what have you done with my brother?”

“That asshole’s long gone.” Jamie stretched out his legs, pale below his brand-spanking-new running shorts. “FYI, Erin wants to know when she can get signed copies. I told her we get first dibs and will make a fortune from your first editions when you die.”

“Ahhh. Good to see the asshole’s still in there somewhere.”

Jamie bumped Glen’s shoulder. “The asshole didn’t convince his wife and kids to give him a second chance and move home,
I
did.”

“Still sleeping in the spare room?”

Jamie deflated a little bit. “Hopefully not for too much longer.”

“Yeah, well, don’t screw things up this time.”

“I never want to lose Erin again.” Jamie stared out over the harbor to the distant Sky Tower rising above the city skyline. “She’s the love of my life.” He stiffened.

Yep, the words had plopped through the love haze and made a splash in the fraternal guilt pool.

“So, you haven’t heard anything from, ah, up North?” Jamie asked.

Glen forced his hands to remain loose around the plastic water bottle. Squeezing his tension out through his hands would be a dead giveaway if the bottle exploded. “From Savannah? No. I assume she’s still prepping for her audition, if she hasn’t left the country already.”

“You heard that casino show got canned?”

He had. And it set Glen thinking for a moment or two, wondering if Savannah knew about the plug being pulled on
High Rollers
while he was still in Bounty Bay. “Yeah. But Savannah will get the sitcom part.”

“Little bit of you hoping she doesn’t get it? Maybe comes back to live in Auckland?”

“I don’t want to see her fail. There’s nothing for her here in Auckland.”

Jamie took a long draw from his water bottle and kept his gaze fixed on the Devonport ferry as it chugged through the glassy harbor. He swiped his wrist across his mouth. “I think I screwed things up with you and Sav.”

Glen’s head swung toward his brother so fast he nearly caused whiplash.

Jamie’s knee juddered up and down, sending tiny vibrations through the wooden bench. “That night in her house, I suggested she should dump you before you ruined your life and followed her to the U.S. I told her you were wrecked when she moved to Wellington all those years ago, and that she’d break your heart if she left you again.” He snuck Glen the hound-dog eyes. “I should’ve kept my fat mouth shut, because look at you. You’ve been a bloody zombie.”

Jamie
had put the idea in Sav’s head that breaking up with him would be the kindest thing to do?

The brief flare of hope died a quick and silent death. “Sav’s audition wasn’t the reason I came home alone. If L.A. was the only problem facing us, we could’ve sorted something out. She didn’t feel the same as I did, so there was no point in beating a dead horse.”

“She told you, flat out, that she didn’t love you?”

Glen frowned. “Pretty much. She said it was just sex.”

“No suspicions she might have been lying?”

“She’s not
that
good an actress.” The water bottle crackled threateningly in Glen’s grasp.

Jamie stood and raised his foot to the bench seat, leaning forward to stretch his hamstrings. “You don’t get nominated for a Golden Globe for being average.”

When Glen’s mouth refused to work, Jamie continued. “The Sav I saw in Bounty Bay was just as into you as you were into her.” He sighed. “One thing I’ve learned with the whole Erin-gate mess is that we guys think women expect a level of psychic ability when it comes to understanding what they really want. But you know what? They often want what we do—attention, respect, hot sex, love…and maybe a little help to know what’s important.”

“Thanks, oh great love guru. But career is what’s important to Sav, and she has to take her shot at Hollywood.”

“Maybe other things are important to her, too.” Jamie switched to stretching his other leg. “She e-mailed me yesterday.”

“She what?” Glen’s resting pulse rate shot up to a sprint. “When? What about?”

Jamie held up a palm. “About Tom’s concert. She wanted to confirm the date and time, and to get me to put aside a ticket for her.”

Glen tensed. “She’s planning to go?”

“She says so. She’s flying out to L.A. a few days afterward.”

“She wouldn’t want to let down Tom.”

“Really?” Jamie said. “Does that sound like a woman only interested in sexing your brains out?”

Glen glared at his brother’s smug expression.

“Oh, and wait a minute,” Jamie continued, pressing a finger to his mouth in a sarcastic thinking pose. “She also enclosed the names of two respected drama teachers happy to help Tom with his performance anxiety. Plus a little mention that she hoped your book submission had gone well—fishing, of course, to see whether you were okay. No, Sav absolutely doesn’t give a shit about you.”

“What did you tell her?” Glen’s gut dropped to his running shoes.

He’d missed Savannah so bad it had taken Erin’s threat of dropping his three nephews on his doorstep to force him out on a run with Jamie today, so he hoped his brother hadn’t given Sav an accurate account.

“I told her I’d leave a back row ticket for her at the school office, and if she wanted to know how you were doing, to show up, as you’d be seated beside her.”

“She won’t come,” Glen said numbly. “She won’t go anywhere near that auditorium now.”

Jamie slapped him on the back. “Only one way to find out, little brother. And that’s to show up in three days, looking smoking hot and irresistible.”

***

Glen caught the scent of berries in the darkened auditorium moments before Savannah eased into the seat beside him. He’d sat in the back row twenty minutes before Tom’s concert kicked off, for fear he’d miss Sav if she did decide to show.

Her skirt whispered against the leg of his suit pants.

“I’m not too late?” she murmured.

“No.” Getting that one syllable word out of his throat hurt. His chest ached with her nearness, the brush of her hair across his shoulder.

She leaned in to him a second time to say, “Traffic was a nightmare.”

Tom’s school principal, enamored with the sound of her own voice, droned on about supporting the arts.

He swallowed hard. “Tom will be glad you’re here.”

The shift of her arm against his, a slight pulling away.

Really, Glen?
His fingers resting on his leg dug into his thigh.
That’s the best you’ve got?

He turned, so the tip of his nose grazed her hair. “And I’m glad you’re here too,” he whispered.

Even with the house lights down, emotion shimmered in Savannah’s eyes.

A sudden screech of sound-system feedback made her jump and pull away. On stage, the principal finished introducing the band. Behind the center-stage mic, Tom stood with his guitar, his eyes wide and unfocused. A lamb led to the slaughter.

The smattering of applause drifted away, but still Tom didn’t move to count off the beat.

“Oh, no you don’t.” Sav surged to her feet. “You got this,” she shouted. “Like a boss, Tom.”

A small section of the audience, composed mainly of Tom’s classmates, whooped and hollered. The stunned deer expression vanished, replaced by Tom’s huge grin. Jamie hadn’t told his son Savannah might come to the prize-giving, in case at the last moment she couldn’t, but Tom no doubt recognized Sav’s voice.

The boy tapped his sneakered foot, and he and his band launched into a kick-ass rendition of Pink Floyd’s
Another Brick in the Wall.

Sav sank into her seat, and without glancing at his face, laced her fingers through his. The smooth skin of her palm sent ripples through him, so sharp they went beyond pleasure and into pain. He couldn’t allow her presence here to be anything more than it was—an opportunity for them to say goodbye without emotion clouding it.

He raised his hand with hers still on top and kissed her knuckles.

“Thank you,” he said.

Tom had the audience eating out of his palm within the first minute and on their feet by the end of the song. Glen would never forget the look of pure joy on his nephew’s face, and the glimpse of Jamie and Erin, three rows in front of him, clapping so hard they’d have stinging palms by the end of the evening.

Sav tugged on his hand. “I’ve got to go, Glen. Walk me out?”

Glen followed her into the aisle and out the heavy auditorium doors into the foyer. Cooler air flowed from the open doors, and the distant howl of an emergency vehicle accompanied them as they walked outside, still holding hands.

“Will you tell Tom how proud I was of him?” She paused by the row of low shrubs that led from the parking lot to the auditorium.

Glen made a huge effort to keep any hint of accusation out of his voice. “You can’t stay to tell him yourself?”

She shook her head, her long hair spilling over her shoulder and brushing the edge of a wry smile. “This is Tom’s night. When the lights come up, I don’t want having Savannah Payne in the audience to detract from that.” Then she gave a rueful chuckle, tugging the edges of her jacket together. “Though after his performance, no one would be looking at me.”

I can’t see anything other than you
. Glen kept his mouth shut. Not gonna make this any harder on himself than he had to. Yet, he still couldn’t prevent his gaze from skimming the length of her. She’d lost more weight in the two weeks since he’d left Bounty Bay, and the green jacket she wore hung boxily off her frame. It was one of the jackets she’d tried on at
Vee’s Closet
; he’d noticed it as the color brought the green out in her eyes. Then, it had hugged her curves. Now…

Glen shoved his hands into his pants pockets because he really, really wanted to haul her into his arms and never let go. Paper crackled in the inside pocket of his suit jacket, the envelope inside feeling like it dragged him down.

“This is where we say goodbye,” he said.

“Yes. And I wanted to apologize for being a jerk.”

“Aren’t guys normally jerks?”

“I was the jerk this time. I didn’t mean what I said”—her lower lip trembled then thinned as she briefly pressed both lips together—“but it would’ve been easier for us both if I did.”

“Because of L.A.?”

She nodded.

“L.A. isn’t the thing keeping us apart.”

The frown lines creasing her forehead deepened. “Of course it is.” She touched his chest then froze, dropping her hand. “I want to be with you—I do. It’s just…”

“You don’t believe what we feel for each other could be love?”

“No, yes…I don’t know—maybe.” She threw up her hands then clamped them over her face for a moment.

“Love requires sacrifice, and the price is too high. My parents, for example.” Her mouth twisted. “Mum was in medical school when she met my dad and fell in love. She got pregnant and quit—for him, for me—so I wouldn’t be a kid raised by parents who were never home. Dad stayed with her for years after he realized he didn’t love her anymore, suffering under the guilt until he just couldn’t take it. Then there was Liam, always telling me how he had given up his career to be my manager, how he catered to my demands on his time and how he had to live in my shadow. No matter how happy and sweet I tried to be with my dad, or how loving and undemanding I tried to be with my husband, their sacrifices came with too high a price.”

“One left you, the other turned into a monster,” Glen said. “No wonder love is a four letter word to you.”

With suspiciously shiny eyes, Savannah tossed her hair over her shoulder and stood straighter.

God, she was wrecking him.

“I should go,” she said. “We’re only making this worse.”

Glen removed the envelope from inside his pocket. “Take this, open it when you get home.”

She took the envelope from his hand and weighed it thoughtfully. “That’s one hell of a love letter.” Her lip quivered with the effort to force a smile on her mouth.