Known Afterlife (The Provider Trilogy, Volume One) (9 page)

Just like the next Citizen, she was grateful for the role Guardians played, including a love for the Guardian Games though she preferred the Ascender to the more popular Dive. But it was the same physical traits that empowered the Guar
dians to protect and compete that unnerved her healer's sensibilities. The ease in which they could snap any bone in her body remained a pervading thought. In the past, when in close proximity to a Guardian, she perceived their brawny build like a thick hide in need of grooming over a body beckoning intimate touch.

Calivera knew a meaningful connection of the mind and soul would overcome any physical objections. She also recognized that the most popular romantic passages in the Deeds often described the bon
d of Guardian and spouse and the challenges they overcame together. Too grounded to ascribe love to such fantasy, the one aspect Calivera desired most in a mate was the ability to sit in the same room together and not feel the need to say a word, to laugh together at the big things and cry over the small. The patrician disposition of the Guardian, she concluded, just did not lend itself to that type of relationship.

As the day wore on, she had to admit, Steffor was different. Of course she had heard about t
he ever growing legend of Steffor, it was impossible not to for the past decade. She was confident though that he would fall in the same bucket with the rest, when and if they ever met in person. This preconceived perception made her one of the few women, with blood still running through her veins, that didn't swoon at the slightest Mysticnet update on his latest accolade.

Now, sitting quietly next to the legend, genuinely enjoying the others company, having known him in person for little over a day, and de
spite his broken spirit or maybe because of it, she realized this perception had been shattered.

For reasons she could not articulate but present all the same, she quelled her softening attitude, thinking:
So what. Steffor being different, defying all the stereotypes I have come to rely on, and the apparent holes in my "Healer-patient" theory, means nothing.
She peeled away another layer of denial, concluding her feelings were simply the bi-product of too many years of self-imposed celibacy, in tandem with Steffor's seductive physique and natural charisma.

Aft
er all, while working long, intense hours with male Healers in the past, she had developed a level of intimacy with a few that resulted in similar lustful impulses. The feelings would always pass in due time once the Provider called them in separate directions. Steffor was her patient that would soon be following a separate path. All she needed to do was keep it together, long enough for that event to pass.

She brought her knees to her chest, stowing away the remnants of their lunch, saying more coldly then
she intended, "We should get going." Steffor rose without comment, a dejected frown seen creasing his face before he turned his back to her and continued down the small branch.

All too soon, Calivera discovered sticking to her new resolve had boiled down
to an epic test of willpower, one she was failing at every turn. For moments after they resumed their trek, Steffor led them off all semblance of trail, deep into the jungle. High into the canopy, the new course had them scaling sheer cliffs of fused stems with no perceptible holds and vertical walls of tangled vine, climbs a novice Guardian can make with ease but only the most competent harvest Shifter dare undertake.

Several times, she found herself clinging to his arm as he swung her over a jutting overh
ang or wrapping her arms around his powerful neck and shoulders while he navigated a knarly web of vertical vines. Vigilant in her efforts to show no outward signs of joy, the intimate encounters made her cheeks burn crimson, embarrassed by her inner child clapping in delight, jumping on tippy toes, squealing "again, again, again!"

Every brush of skin against skin, whiff of musky scent or tight press of body threatened to unleash her lustful desires. She soon became resolved to the fact that it was only a m
atter of time before succumbing to her hormonal impulses and finally tasting his lips as she pulled him behind the next fern grove and unleashed urgings suppressed for too long.

The sun was setting below Razum, the fat buttress blocking all but a few of th
e days’ last rays, amber beams that shot wide of the narrower branch to disappear amongst Instenkul's needle covered twigs and airy canopy. Either feeling the press for time or in need of a more strenuous work out, Steffor abruptly decided to test the full extent of his restored Guardian strength and dexterity.

Now confident in Calivera's ability as an active passenger
—proven to know when and how to lean into leaps and dives, strong enough to hold with arms or legs when necessary and overall agility to adjust on the fly—Steffor began to swing from twig and vines and catapulted from springy stems and leaf.

Calivera's heart oscillated from throat to pit of stomach with each bound that propelled them forward fifty to hundred feet, floating just above the broad
leaf canopy for a few terrifying seconds before gravity pulled them back down to start the process over. Their progress increased dramatically and within minutes, Calivera began to see Fregak's Ladder off in the distance. At first a thin thread slicing the open sky between the two limbs, moments later a spiral staircase shifted from Sofelarus’s sturdy hardwood, growing up into Instenkul's coniferous branches far above.

While between leaps, they spotted the staircase's small landing some thirty yards away, l
ocated just below the canopy top. Exerting himself with a slight grunt, Steffor stretched horizontally to reach and grip a thin stem jutting just above the canopy, used their momentum to complete a full rotation before flinging them in a high arc through the air to land deceptively soft onto the small deck.

The move had forced Calivera to wrap arms and legs around his neck and
waist and press tight against his body. Both covered in grime and sweat, Steffor prolonged the intimate embrace a moment longer before he gently but firmly placed his hands about her waist and slowly lowered her to the platform.

Faces but inches apart, his sapphire eyes dilated with desire, the throb of his powerful heart pounding against her own heaving chest, Calivera
’s resolve melted away as she leaned up to kiss his waiting lips. Climax at hand, conscious or not, a triumphant smirk formed on Steffor’s face and stopped her approach short.

His apparent detection of her arousal had nothing to do with her sudden embarrassment. No, he ha
d duped her and only now did she piece it all together. The need for an intense exercise or urgency to reach Lake Arol at a certain time had little influence on Steffor's decision to take the more hazardous route. It was all a premeditated attempt to break her defenses and set free the feelings she had for him; the same feelings he had blatantly displayed for her the moment he awoke on the veranda. A scheme that, if not for the display of his childish smugness, was but a breath away from flawless execution.

To Steffor's soon to be discovered chagrin, being manipulated was the biggest turn off he could have possibly done. The act instantly removed her hormonal burden, providing the negative energy to counter the onslaught of lecherousness. Lust after all, she
told herself, is a natural occurrence but does not mean anything past that. Despite the innocence of his trickery, anger began to mount.

I am his Healer, nothing more. I will see him to his destination and then part ways as it should be intended.

Calivera pushed away and walked over to a bench shifted into the semi-circle shaped platform. She sat down with her back to him and faced the tiny waterfall fed by one of the countless streams formed by shifted twig and stem, splattering against a mammoth three-pronged leaf before descending further into the dense jungle. The waterfall sprayed a cool mist over her, instantly calming her frazzled emotions while washing away the dirt and sweat from the day's toil.

Still put off but less irritated, without turning she
patted a spot next to her and said, "Come Steffor, sit down with me and rest for a spell."

A few seconds past, a time she was certain he spent sulking, before he came over and sat a few feet away.

"Lake Arol is but a few hours away, yes?" She asked, keeping her eyes forward.

"That's about right. Ginllats will be full tonight, so crossing the bark peninsulas should be easy going."

"A good night's rest at Lake Arol, a short journey to Teuton Valley in the morning...you should arrive at the ceremony well rested and in plenty of time. Are you prepared for the trials ahead?" She asked, doing her best to sound like a caring but platonic Healer.

"I hope." Steffor replied solemnly. She let the indifferent reply linger for a few minutes, not sure how to respond, whe
n Steffor decided to elaborate: "I had hoped the trip here would help clear my mind. Memories of my past, family and friends, places, have all come back. But I cannot locate a Mystic. For that matter, I can't remember what it feels like to sync with a Mystic. It’s as if my connection to the conscious whole is someone else's distant memory."

"You have no connection?" Calivera asked with concern. The concept was unnerving. "What of the Provider...of the Source?"

"I felt the presence of the Provider the moment I awoke from your table and the Source is readily available. In fact, the presence of the Source has never been stronger. But I have not attempted to wield it...fearing I may lose control of it. It is the rest, my connection to the Mysticnet, my relationship with the Provider that will not mend."

"The Provider controls the Source. Citizens are but the vessels to wield it." Calivera regretted her pious quotation of the Deeds the moment it left her lips, realizing the Guardian would be intimate with the pass
age. "What guidance has the Provider given?" she asked, changing tact.

"None...yet," he replied.

"What?" she asked, incredulous.

"The truth is...well I just feel...I just haven't asked!" The anger in Steffor's words increased as he tried to explain his str
ange actions. "I know it is not right, or even possible for that matter, but I can't shake the feeling of being betrayed by the Provider. My entire life, I have unequivocally trusted the Provider," anger transitioned into a sad quiver, "and I have always been rewarded by that trust, at least until the other day, in the dive championship, when that branch appeared from nowhere. Why? What lesson can possibly be learned from that kind of experience?" He addressed her directly with his last question, his tear welled eyes imploring her for insight.

She averted her eyes, disturbed by his confession. Turning back to the waterfall, he released a sorrowful sigh, shaking his head. "I know it serves no good purpose to harbor anger, especially toward the Provider, but I
just can't bring myself to forgive."

Calivera took several deep breaths and pondered his words before stating the obvious
. "You will need to connect to both Mystic and Provider if you intend on completing your role in the Forging Ceremony."

"I know."

She opened her mouth as if to add to the statement but chose to remain silent. Steffor, sensing she had an opinion on how he should go forward, turned around on the bench to face her. On impulse, she did the same in kind and gently grabbed hold of his hands. With each straddling the bench, their knees pressed together, Calivera looked deeply into Steffor's eyes. She hesitated, fearful of what she might say. Exhaling a long breath, she finally found the courage to speak. "Steffor, you are like no other I have ever encountered."

"I feel the same way about you!" he blurted, misconstruing the meaning of her words.

Sighing patiently, she continued. "It was no coincidence that led you to be my patient. When I said you were dead by most definitions of the word, I was not exaggerating." Steffor nodded in understanding, his mood noticeably sobered.

"I watched them try to save you but knew they would fail. How I was so certain still bothers me but the feeling was undeni
able. At first...when I joined you on the table...shifting the Source to heal both body and
soul
..." She was unable to go on, unwilling to relive the terrifying memory, her gaze lost on a small knot in the bench.

She started to pull her hands away from his
, signaling she had said all she was going to say. Steffor held her fast, forcing her to look back at him.
I must tell him, I must shed this burden.

Drawing a deep breath, Calivera sat up strait and squared her shoulders. "I found you in a foreign place. M
y connection to the Provider was gone, replaced by a presence so vast and powerful my mind, out of some desperate need for survival, refused to process it. You were my beacon and I quickly grabbed hold of you. Your energy came alive at that moment. You saved me. You carried me from the depths Steffor."

"Why are you so sad? Why do you look at me with fear?" Steffor implored.

"It was the desire, the desire I still sense in you now, to never leave that makes me sad. I feel that I made a horrible mistake by forcing you to come back." Standing up, turning her back to him, her rigid composure returning, she whispered, "It this undeniable desire to go back to that place that I fear is the reason you may never mend your relationship to the Provider. That, Steffor, is the reason why I fear you."