Lady of Light (42 page)

“I don’t love Evan more; I love him differently,” she explained as gently as she could. “He’s my husband. I’ve taken vows to love and cling fast to him all my life. Someday you’ll make those same vows to a woman. Then you’ll understand the difference. Brother and sister though we may be, sooner or later we must both go our separate ways.”

“But you said we’d always be together, have each other. And we can, once we return to Scotland.”

“While we were young and needed each other, aye, that was true. But, bit by wee bit, our lives are changing now. Others are beginning to claim an even more powerful place in our hearts, aren’t they?” She released his chin and tenderly stroked a lock of hair from his eyes. “Though Beth is just the first of many lasses who’ll win your heart, can’t you see how strong a pull even she has had on you? So strong, indeed, that you were willing to risk hurting me and ruining your life here just to be with her.”

“Aye, I suppose I can,” he at last admitted grudgingly. “It won’t change
his
opinion of me, though, no matter how hard I try to make amends. He’s convinced I’m a liar and mayhap even a killer.”

Claire bit her lip, at a sudden loss over how to reassure her brother to the contrary. Though Evan hadn’t come right out and said it, the look in his eyes, the tone of his voice, most certainly had always betrayed his doubts as to Ian’s innocence and moral fiber. Still, she couldn’t blame him. Evan didn’t know Ian like she did, and the evidence, however circumstantial it was, did seem to point an accusing finger at her brother. What mattered in the end, though, was that she trust in her husband and his ability to find some honorable way through it all. At the very least, he deserved the chance to try. And he deserved her love.

She straightened in her saddle. “You haven’t made aught easy for anyone for a long while now. Can’t you see that you must give—”

“Naught would change if we went back—and that’s what you’re now trying to talk me into doing, isn’t it, Claire? If the sheriff came for me, or if Evan still eventually decided to send me away, I’d run off first. I swear I would!” her brother cried.

“Och, Ian, and what would that solve?” She shook her head, a sudden, strong certainty filling her. “It’s long past time for running, for the both of us. I see that now. It’s time to stand and fight for a good life, for home, for family. And Culdee Creek
is
now our home, the MacKays our family.”

Claire stretched out her hand to her brother. “We’ve always fought hard to survive before. Will you fight that battle one more time with me?”

Ian stared at her, his gaze hesitant and fearful. Then, he expelled a low, weary breath and nodded. “Aye, I’ll try,” he said, reaching out to give her hand a quick squeeze before releasing it. “But only for you, Claire. Only for you.”

“Nay, brother,” she whispered achingly. “Do it first and foremost for yourself. This life, with all its wondrous promise, is as important to you as it is to me. In Culdee we gained the right to begin anew. At Culdee Creek, we’ve finally found home.”

With that, Claire turned her horse south. Not even glancing around to make sure Ian followed, she urged her mount back the way they had come, back to Culdee Creek, back home.

Epilogue

As if by God’s own design, to welcome Abby, Conor, and little Sean MacKay home, the tenth of December dawned unseasonably warm and pleasant. The morning of their impending arrival was spent in a flurry of frenetic activity. Evan, Claire, and Ian hurriedly moved all their belongings back into the bunkhouse, while Beth cleaned her parents’ bedroom and put fresh sheets on the bed. A huge slab of beef, complete with carrots, onions, and potatoes, was put in the oven to roast. A cake was made and iced, and bread was baked.

At long last, dressed in their Sunday best, they gathered to leave for Grand View’s train depot. Claire settled in beside Evan in the buggy’s front seat, cast a quick glance over her shoulder at Beth and Ian, and sighed in contentment. Her husband clucked to the horse, which immediately set out. Behind them, in their own buggy, came Devlin, Hannah, and their brood, followed by Frank Murphy driving the buckboard.

A gentle breeze blew, crisp but invigorating. Around Claire, the frost-browned landscape took on a soft, golden hue. Overhead, a red-tailed hawk soared on the air currents, his harsh, piercing cry filling the heavens.

Claire scooted close, slipping her arm beneath Evan’s. He glanced at her, his face lighting in a loving smile. She didn’t think she’d ever tire of looking at him. What woman would? He was so handsome, so good, so much a man among men.

The words Evan had spoken to her, that day he had ridden out after them, ran through Claire’s mind now. She had seen him coming from far away and, even before she could truly recognize him, she had known it was Evan. As he galloped toward them, Claire had turned to Ian.

“Stay back a ways and wait. I need to talk to Evan first.”

Her brother had shot her a nervous, uncertain glance, then nodded. “Aye. That’d be best, I’d wager.”

Then, heart thudding with her own fearful uncertainty, Claire had ridden up to meet her husband. She watched Evan rein in before her, eye her warily, then remove his Stetson and wipe the sweat from his brow with the back of his sleeve.

“Get turned around in your trip to Denver?” he asked, a taut smile twitching one corner of his mouth, “or dare I hope you’d had a change of heart and were heading home?”

“We were coming home,” Claire said. “That is, if you’ll still have us.”

Something flickered in his eyes, then was gone. Was it a flash of joy or relief? she wondered. Dear Lord, let it be so!

“You know I’ll still have you,” Evan replied hoarsely. “I love you, Claire. I don’t want to lose you.”

“And I don’t want to lose you either. I just couldn’t see through all the anger and pain until I finally turned my back on it and rode away.” She inhaled a shuddering breath. “That’s when I realized how unfair I had—”

He lifted his hand to silence her. “Don’t. We’ve both made mistakes, but that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is our love, and the vows we made to each other. What matters is we have family and friends and God to help us. With all that, how can we fail, if only we keep on trying?”

“Aye, we have all that, and more.” Tears filled Claire’s eyes. “I’m carrying our child, Evan. It’s yet another reason I came back. It was wrong of me to take our child from you.”

His eyes widened. His glance lowered to her belly. “A child? I-I’m going to be a father?”

“Aye, that you are.” Claire cocked her head, her apprehension flaring anew. “How do you feel about that?”

In reply, Evan swung his leg over the saddle horn and slid off his horse. With two quick strides, he was at her side. “How do I feel about it?” he repeated, gazing up at her and taking her hand. “Why, it’s wonderful. Absolutely wonderful!”

“I-I wanted you to know. I don’t ever want to keep any secrets from you again.”

He squeezed her hand. “I know, Claire. I know.”

Behind them, Ian’s horse snorted and pawed at the ground. Evan’s glance swung to the boy, then back to her.

“He came back willingly, too,” Claire said. “Despite the charges that might still be made against him for Brody Gerard’s death. Despite the way you still might feel about him. I just wanted you to know that.”

Evan nodded. “I need to talk to him.” He released her hand, stepped back, then turned and walked to Ian.

Her heart in her throat, Claire twisted in the saddle to watch them. Evan halted at Ian’s side. Cautiously, her brother met his gaze.

“I’m sorry for how things have gone between us of late,” she heard her husband say. “I know I took the news you killed your uncle pretty hard that day, but even in my anger, I never once imagined you a killer, Ian. I’d already heard enough of that story from Claire, to know why you had to do what you did.” He held out his hand to the boy. “I’d like to start fresh, if you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

For a long moment Ian stared down at it, his jaw working in an effort to contain his emotions. At last, though, he grasped Evan’s hand. “I’d like that, too. To start fresh, I mean …”

Just then the buggy bounced over a rut in the road, jolting Claire’s thoughts back to the present. Aye, she mused. Both Evan and Ian had shown commendable grace that day, and for that she’d be ever thankful.

There had been some equally tense moments between Ian and Evan since then. Still, both had worked hard to see each and every problem through to a satisfying end—even the problem of Ian and Beth.

With some help from Noah and Claire, both youngsters had finally come to the conclusion that things had indeed been progressing too rapidly between them. Both had agreed not to spend time alone with each other, and they
had
tried. Nonetheless, Claire was grateful Abby and Conor were finally returning. Their presence and counsel could only improve the situation.

“It’s a grand, grand day, wouldn’t you say, husband?” Claire asked of a sudden, her heart near to bursting with joy. The babe, their babe, had just moved within, reminding her of even more to be thankful for.

“Yes, ma’am, it’s indeed a grand day,” he replied with a chuckle. “That sentiment, though, wouldn’t have anything to do with the knowledge that you won’t have to cook all those big meals anymore, would it?”

“Och, I suppose that would be a small part of it.” Claire snuggled yet closer. “But I was also thinking of our new house, and hoping, with your father back, you’d now have time to finish it. We’ll be needing it by the end of June, you know.”

He angled his head in thought. “Well, with only the interior work left to do, I should easily meet that date. Just in time for our baby’s arrival.”

She took his free hand and placed it on her belly. “Can you feel our babe move? Can you, Evan?”

He swallowed convulsively, then proceeded to stare at her belly for so long, the horse began to veer toward the grass growing off to the side.

“Have a care, will you, Evan?” Ian shouted from the backseat. “You’re going to run us off the road!” He gave a snort of disgust and turned to Beth. “They’ll be wed six months just after the first of the year, and they still go on like they’re courting. You’d think they’d have gotten all that lovey-dovey stuff out of their system by now.”

“Don’t count on it!” Evan shouted in reply, then threw back his head and laughed. “A father. I’m going to be a father!”

The next several minutes were a wild clamor of excited voices and happy exclamations. By the time they all settled down, they had entered Grand View’s out-skirts. To Claire the ride down Winona Street seemed like a triumphant procession.

The first time she had visited the train depot was that day they had arrived from Scotland. She had been scared, uncertain, and terribly homesick. So much, though, had happened to change her life since that day.

In the distance, she caught sight of the Episcopal Church. Claire thought of Noah and Millie Starr. The young priest had never let her forget how important the Lord was in her life. His aunt had served as confidante, friend, and frequently also as the mother Claire never really had. She thanked the Lord for them.

Gates’ Mercantile came into view. Just then, Mary Sue Edgerton, her arms filled with packages, stepped out. Claire grasped the buggy’s armrest, half-stood up, and waved. “Good day, Mary Sue,” she called. “It’s a pleasure to see you!”

The expression of utter surprise on the other girl’s face was mirrored in Evan’s eyes. “Whatever possessed you to greet her like that?” he asked. “After all she’s done to try and hurt you …”

“Even as Christ forgave you, so also do you,” she quoted from the third chapter of Colossians. “Never again will I hold rancor in my heart toward Mary Sue. Truly, she hasn’t any power to hurt me in Christ’s love. Besides, there’s no room for aught but joy. A woman would have to be daft not to be happy with a husband as fine as you, and the fact she’s to be a mither.”

Evan laughed as he pulled up before the train depot. In the distance the locomotive whistled, and a black trail of smoke rose on the air. “Well, I’ve always thought you were a particularly bright woman. That statement of yours but confirms it.”

He wrapped the reins around the buggy’s brake arm, then turned to Claire. “Of course, I couldn’t be happier with my bonnie wife, either,” he said, taking her into his arms. “A baby,” Evan breathed against her ear. “We’re going to have a baby.”

“Come on, Elizabeth,” Ian muttered from the backseat. “I can’t bear to sit here a moment longer and watch these two. They’re far, far too old to be carrying on this way.”

“A lot he knows,” Claire’s husband whispered and, moving to her mouth, proceeded to kiss her fully and most possessively.

With a squeal of brakes and hiss of steam, the train pulled into the depot. Evan drew back, looked deep into Claire’s eyes, and smiled. “Well, shall we join the others in welcoming my folks home?”

“Aye,” she said, her heart full of a soul-deep satisfaction. “Let’s welcome them home.”

Discussion Questions for
Lady of Light