Land of My Heart (44 page)

“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings,” Cole finally said.

“I know,” Dianne whispered, feeling the words stick in her throat.

Cole moved from his place as if to head back to the house. Instead, he stopped as he came up even with Dianne. Reaching out, he let his hand rest momentarily on her arm. Dianne held her breath, uncertain as to what would happen next. A strong desire arose inside her … a desire to experience his kiss. She leaned forward just a bit.
Kiss me. Please kiss me
.

CHAPTER 32

B
UT HE DIDN’T KISS HER. COLE HAD WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING
to take Dianne in his arms, but he held those feelings in check, knowing the danger of such things. Now as he sat atop his horse, waiting for Gus to give the signal for them to move the cattle out, Cole tried hard not to remember the longing he’d seen in Dianne’s eyes. She had wanted him to kiss her as well. He knew that and had almost given into it.

He watched her even now as she stood beside Bram and Koko. She called out something to one of her brothers, then laughed at whatever reply he’d given. Dianne had grown into a handsome, capable woman. Instead of being defeated by the frontier, as Cole thought she might, Dianne had blossomed and thrived.

She was quite amazing, and he knew she’d captured a special place in his heart. But Cole fought against that as much as he fought against forgiving his father. Only last week one of the men had gone to Virginia City and brought Cole a letter from his mother. She spoke of the changes in his father—how he held steady work and attended church faithfully. She was blessed by the changes and wished that Cole would make his peace, as that seemed to grieve her husband daily.

Cole had thrown the letter into the fire, not caring about his father’s grief. Thoughts of Carrie flickered through his mind even now as he watched Dianne. The two women were very similar. Carrie had loved the territory too. She hadn’t minded that she was one of only a handful of women in the area. Instead, she had taken pride in her femininity, and Cole had taken pride in her. Just as he took pride in Dianne.

These feelings are dangerous,
he warned himself.
There’s no room for them out here. She’s the boss’s niece—nothing more
. But even as he told himself this, his heart declared him to be a liar.

“You boys ready?” Gus called out.

The chorus of affirmative replies was all Gus needed. He gave Bram and the ladies a nod, then moved the men out.

“Be careful!” Dianne said as Zane rode past. “Don’t forget to send word to us from time to time—and visit when you can.”

“I will. Stop worrying,” Zane replied.

Cole caught her eye, and her gaze seemed fixed to his for several moments. He wanted to say something—to at least tell her good-bye— but the words were frozen in his throat. It seemed that she had the same problem.

Finally Cole looked away. There was no sense in tormenting them both. He didn’t know what to do with his feelings, didn’t know how to live with the knowledge that he’d lost his heart to yet another woman.

Didn’t I swear that would never happen? Didn’t I make Carrie a promise to never love another?
The questions flooded his mind, but none of them mattered. He couldn’t stop what had already happened.

They moved the cattle slowly to the north. The herd seemed content, not at all bothered by the gathering clouds. Gus felt certain they’d run into snow, so when the first flakes started falling, Cole merely raised the collar on his coat and hunkered down. The bad thing about being in the saddle for long hours was that it gave a man a lot of time to think. There were things to keep watch for and work to do, but Cole had no trouble doing that while contemplating what had become of his life.

He knew he’d made a mistake in taking the job with Bram Vandyke. He’d known up front that he’d have to see Dianne on nearly a daily basis. But he’d told himself this would purge her from his system. In fact, Cole had been convinced of that.

It didn’t work that way, however.

Instead of feeling better about putting Dianne aside, the pain of her nearness was acute. Cole couldn’t help but see her as she worked with some of the horses in the corral or earlier in the summer as she tended the garden and picked vegetables for canning. It seemed she was always outdoors, just as he was.

Cole had volunteered to sit in the range shack all winter just so he could distance himself from her. He figured it would help him clear his head once and for all. He’d spend the winter away from her and that would be that.

Then Dianne had gone and asked to accompany the men on this trip, and he’d nearly felt his resolve undo itself. There was no way he could handle her being there—riding alongside him—just as he envisioned she might do when he dreamed of her every night.

“Wind’s picking up and that snow’s getting heavier,” Gus said, interrupting Cole’s thoughts. Cole hadn’t even noticed that the older man had ridden back to meet him. “We’ll get the cattle settled in a canyon I know up the ways. Otherwise, I figure we’ll be drivin’ them in a blizzard.” Cole respected Gus’s opinion. The man seemed to know exactly the right thing to do at just the right time. “How will we keep them together?” Cole asked, raising his voice above the wind.

“I’ll put a few of you at one end of the canyon and the rest on the other end. The walls are too steep for them to go climbing much. Besides, I think they’ll be just as happy to stick this one out together.

“I’ll let the others know. Just keep sharp. No more daydreamin’,” Gus said with a hint of a smile. “This weather is about to get mean.”

“I don’t like the look of things,” Bram declared as he peeked out the front window. He took up his coat from the peg by the door. “I’m going out to check on the horses and make sure the barn doors are secure.”

“I’ll help you,” Dianne said, taking up the new coat Koko had given her as an early Christmas gift. The buckskin coat was lined with warm wool fleece. Dianne was never cold when she wore this. She pressed her hat down hard on her head, then secured it by tying a long wool scarf over it. This way her ears would stay warm.

“I’ll bring in some extra water,” Koko told them as Bram opened the door.

“No, you stay put. I’ll bring in extra wood and water,” Bram told her. He smiled as Jamie began to cry for his supper. “See—my son agrees.”

Koko shook her head. “No, he is telling you that wood and water are women’s work.”

Bram laughed heartily. “Maybe on most days, but today it’s my job.”

Dianne enjoyed the bantering between them. Bram and Koko were definitely in love. Dianne couldn’t have imagined it when she’d first arrived. Koko seemed so much younger, and Uncle Bram … well, he was Uncle Bram. To imagine him with a wife and then a child had been something that had never occurred to Dianne.

They headed out the back door, buttoning their coats as they went. Wind blew crusty bits of snow into Dianne’s face. It stung and she lowered her head against the wind and let her hat take the brunt of it.

“I can see to the animals,” she said, taking hold of her uncle’s arm.

“All right. You go ahead. Just make sure all the doors are secured. I’ll get the wood.” Bram turned to go, then stopped. “Hold on,” he commanded. Dianne waited, confused by his actions. She watched him go back into the house. Moments later he returned with a long rope in hand. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Take this,” he said. He gave her one end of the rope while he tied the other end of it to the cabin door. “Tie it to the barn door when you get there. That way if the snow gets too bad, we can follow this back and forth and not get lost.”

“Sounds wise,” Dianne said.

Dianne hurried to the barn and fixed the rope to the outside latch. Heading inside, she breathed the mingled odors of manure and hay. Here, the horses’ stalls offered the animals protection from the weather, but first she’d have to gather them in.

It was to Dianne’s benefit that she worked with the horses on a daily basis. They came easily to investigate her appearance—no doubt hoping for some kind of treat. Dianne ushered each animal into the barn, securing them away from the storm.

Next, she checked their supply of hay and water. She was relieved, on one hand, that many of the horses had gone north with the cowboys. But she also worried because if the weather was also bad where they were, the poor animals would suffer through the full force of the storm out in the open.

Then Cole and her brothers came to mind. Dianne was already shivering from the arctic winds, and she was inside the barn. How would it be to endure the blizzard from a saddle? Dianne whispered a prayer for the safety of each man on the drive. “Bring them back to us, Lord, without injury or harm.”

After the horses were cared for, Dianne made her way to tend to the chickens and milk cows. Because of a recent grizzly attack in which they’d lost one of their stock, Bram had moved the remaining cows to a small corral off of the second barn. This made it easy for Dianne to see to their needs.

By now the wind was moaning through the trees, and the snow was so heavy that visibility was limited to less than twenty yards. Dianne pressed on, however. The animals couldn’t fend for themselves, and it was up to her and Uncle Bram to make sure all was well.

Closing the shutters on the coop, Dianne felt confident the chickens would endure the cold just fine. They were a tough little breed. Animals in this territory had to be, she decided. People too. If you weren’t of enduring stock, you simply couldn’t make it in Montana.

Dianne made her way back through to the horse barn, grateful they’d worked so hard in preparation for winter. Everything would be just fine. This would no doubt be the first of many coming storms. Securing the barn door, Dianne turned to face the full impact of the wind. The storm’s intensity was now a force to be reckoned with.

Taking hold of the rope, Dianne worked her way along the corral, using the rope for guidance and the fence to steady her against the wind. She stumbled more than once as she fought to keep her balance. Snow quickly piled up, drifting against anything solid, including the fence posts. Her plan was to follow the fence until it ended at the drive and turned back to the east and trust the rope to bring her safely back to the cabin.

It seemed a good plan, but the cold was numbing her face and fingers, and her vision was obscured by the blowing snow. Reaching the end of the fence, Dianne knew there was no other choice but to let go and set out for the house. The rope gave her marginal confidence.

“Lord, watch over me,” she prayed aloud.

Her tiny frame, although well muscled, was no match for the wind. Dianne had staggered no more than two or three steps when she lost her footing and fell backward. The fall took the breath out of her momentarily; it also wrenched the rope from her hands. She struggled to sit up and to breathe. Gasping, she drew in mouthfuls of cold icy air, which only made her cough and gasp again.

Getting to her hands and knees, Dianne thought perhaps it was a better choice to just crawl the remaining distance. Her dress would be soaked by the time she made it back to the cabin, but at least she wouldn’t fall. Dianne looked up to get her bearings, but there was nothing she could see to take sight on. Reaching up, she tried to find the rope, but her arms batted uselessly at the snowy air.

“Lord, I need some help here,” she said, forcing herself to keep moving. “I need help. Please send Uncle Bram to find me.” Immediately Dianne felt guilty. If Uncle Bram did worry about her and came looking, he could put himself in jeopardy as well. Koko and little Jamie needed him too much. “Lord, I’m just as happy if you would help me.”

Without warning, Dianne felt herself being lifted into the air. Someone had a firm grip around her waist and was helping her to steady herself as they moved forward. Silently, Dianne thanked God for His intervention, but it wasn’t until they reached the back door and were safely inside the cabin that Dianne realized who her rescuer was.

Her eyes widened as she fixed her gaze on Takes-Many-Horses. His black hair was wet with melting snow, but his smile seemed to indicate he’d not minded the inconvenience.

“Now you are Stands-Tall-Woman again,” he said, his grin broadening.

“Thank you,” Dianne whispered. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a storm quite like this. Where’s Uncle Bram?” Dianne pulled off her gloves and stuffed them into her pockets. She then tried to force her cold fingers to work the buttons on her coat.

Koko rushed forward to fuss over her. “He’s changing his clothes and so should you. Now you go on. Just leave your boots here at the door and I’ll take care of them.” She helped Dianne out of her coat and took the scarf and hat.

Dianne looked back at Koko’s brother as she kicked off her boots. “When did you get here?”

“In time to help Bram with the wood and water. He sent me to find you while he finished with the last load.”

“It’s a good thing,” Dianne said, feeling not in the least bit embarrassed by her dilemma. Now was no time for pride. “I doubt I would have made it had you not come and helped me.”

He shook his head. “You would have made it just fine. You are strong—like my sister. No storm could stop you.”